Thinking Of All The Tears,Pain,Hurt That Cause Brought To Me And My Heart

And How Many Night I Cried Alone While He Was Out Doing What The Fuck He Wanna Do

I Don't Know If Im Ever Able To Forgive No Matter How Much He Ask For My Forgiveness

He Broke My Heart Too Many Times

I Was So Tired Of His Babymamas,His Hoes,His Groupies And His Lies

Looking Back At All Times We Was Going Through It And How I Was So Unhappy I Don't Know How I Stayed As Long As I Did

He Put Me Through It I Was So Hurt And So Stressed Even Though August Was Trying His Hardest To Change It Still Wasn't Enough For Me

Monday Morning Was The Day That I Filed For Divorce Officially

Aziah Made This Choice On Her Own...And I Put Alot Of Thought Into This

I Wanna Be At Peace I Wanna Be Happy I Want To Be Loved The Right Way

Me And August Relationship Was So Toxic To The Point Where I Was Suffocating And I Could Not Breathe

Loving August Is Deadly And I Don't Wanna Die I Wanna Live

He Belittled And Disrespected Me Time After Time And I Have Enough I Was Fed Up

We Been Coparenting And Its Been Great For The First Time Me And August Can Communicate

Maybe We Just Better Apart Cause This Has Been The Happiest I've Been In A Long Time

Filing For Divorce Made Me Feel Free...Free From Tears,Lies,And Pain And I Was Loving My Freedom

Although I Know When August Recived Those Divorce Papers He Gone Be Hurt Because Thats When He Will Realize That Im Serious About This Divorce

I've Sacrificed So Much For August And Put Up With So Much I Was Happy To Be Free

I Can Finally Smile Again Without Bursting Into Tears And You Don't Know How Good It Feels

I Just Wanna Be Me Again Without August

I Was Home Cleaning Up The Kitchen While My Nanny Took Azian For A Stroll Through The Park

When August Just Walked In My House

When I Saw His Face I Knew He Had Finally Got Them Papers

He Held The Paper Up In The Air And Said "What Is This Bullshit!"

I Folded My Arms And Said "You Know This Day Was Gonna Come Soon Aug"

"What You Talking Bout You Got Me Thinkin Me I Got A Chance To Make Shit Right Than You Serving Me Divorce Papers!"He Yelled

"I Don't Wanna Fight With You August I Just Want A Clean Simple Divorce...Im Not Going For Alimony Or Child Support All I Want Is To Be Free Thats It"I Said

"What You Mean...We Not Getting A Divorce Thats Dead You Can Kill That"He Said Tearing Up The Piece Of Paper

"Were Definitely Getting Divorce August..Don't Make This Hard Please For Sake Of Our Kids"I Said

"Fa The Sake Of Our Kids? You Taking They Family Away You Think Thats What They Need!? "He Asked

"Im Taking Their Family Away!"I Said Pointing To Myself

"You Trynaa Leave Ain't You"He Said Angrily

"Im Leaving Because You Wanted To Stick Your Dick In Every Bitch In Atlanta Because Your Selfish Because August Only Loves August"I Said

"...You Always Wanna Play So Innocent...Wasn't You On A Date With A Nigga And We Married"He Said

"No I Had Dinner With A Friend"I Said

"Either Way You Put You Still Wrong...Don't Put This Shit All On My Shoulders When You Know You Played A Part In This As Well"He Said

"What Part Was That The Part Where I Loved You Unconditionally Or The Part Where I Just Tolerated To Damn Much From You!"I Asked

"After We Lost Our Baby You Basically Pushed Me To Cheat"He Said

"I Did What!"I Said Looking Surprise

"You Wasn't There For Me Ziah...You Was Sleeping Through Your Pain You Didn't Stop And Realize That Nigga Was Really Hurt Over Losing My Baby...I Lost My Father,My Bestfriend,Brother,And Than I Lost My Child How You Think I Feel"He Said

"You Felt Relieve Because You Never Wanted Me To Have My Baby In The First Place....The Day You Offered To Take Me To The Clinic To Have A Abortion Was One Of The Worst Things You Did To Me"I Said As My Eyes Fill Up With Tears

His Eyes Were Watering As Well "I Hate Myself For Putting You Through All That Ziah...You The Best Thing That Eva Happen To Me I Swear If We End I Wont Neva Love No One Ever Again"He Said Like A Sad Puppy

"There Isn't No Ifs About It August Im Done"I Said Looking In To His Wet Eyes

"You Sure"He Asked Me

"I Never Been So Sure About Anything In My Life"I Said

He Looked Me In My Eyes And Said "Divorce Or Not You Can Never Be Freed From Me Cause Me And You Are Apart Of Eachother For Life So You Think About That"

I Shook My Head No

His Face Turned Red As He Took A Glass Off The Counter And Threw It Against The Wall

"Very Mature August"I Said As Tears Ran Through My Face

"Fuck It If You Want A Divorce..Than We Getting A Divorce!...Congratulations You Just Officially Tore Up This Family"He Said

Than He Took His Wedding Ring Off And Drop It On The Floor

And My Heart Started Slowly Pumping As I Watch His Ring Hit The Ground

He Quickly Wiped His Eyes And Walked Out And I Think I Just Might Of Just Killed A Man Or Atleast Killed A Man's Heart

After I Heard Him Slam The Door On His Way Out I Picked Up His Ring

And I Just Feel Like The Worse Person Who Every Lived

How Can The One Person Who Did Me So Wrong Make Me Feel So Bad

Toya Walked In And Said "Hey Girl I Saw August Leaving"

Than She Noticed I Was Crying While Holding On To August Ring

"Aww...Come Here"Toya Said Hugging Me

We Been Apart For A While Now And Yet It Still Hurts Me To See August Be So Hurt

Even Its His Fault I Still Feel Bad For Him Or Maybe I Was Just Feeling Bad For Myself

That Night Benny Was Over We Was On My Couch Watching Movies

When He Asked Me "Whats Wrong"

"What You Mean Nothing"I Lied

"You Lyin...I Know Its Something Wrong With You I Can Look At You And Tell Its Something Bothering You"He Said

I Turned And Looked At Him And Said "I Filed For Divorce"

He Smiled And Said "Thats Great..."

"August Came Over And He Was Really Upset Im Talking Like Really Emotional...And I I Kinda Feel Bad For Him"I Said

His Smiled Faded As His Face Got Angry And Said "You Know How Stupid You Sound?"

"Excuse Me"I Said

"...You Feeling Sorry For A Sorry Ass Nigga"He Said

"Well Excuse Me For Having A Heart"I Said

"What Good Is A Heart If You Don't Have No Common Sense"He Said

"Like Serious What Do You Want From Me "I Asked

"I Want You To Be Serious About Us"He Said

"Am I Not"I Asked

"Not If You Still Trippin Off Ya Ex Nigga"Benny Said

"Im Not"I Said

"Prove It To Me...Fuck That Prove It To Yourself That You Really Over That Nigga"He Said

"How Am I Supposed To Prove It"I Said

"Show Me How You Feel"He Said

And I Know Exactly What He Mean I Grabbed His Face And I Kissed Him Passionately In His Mouth Tongue And All

I Got On Top Of Him And Began Kissing His Neck

"Damn..."He Moaned Out

I Felt Like I Had To Prove To Myself That I Was Over August By Sleeping With Someone Else

And I Really Like Benny So I Wanted To Do It With Him

I Was Vulnerable And In My Feelings I Just Wanted To Feel Good

Normally When Its Just Me And August He Was The Aggressive One When We Made Love With Benny I Was Allowed To Be In Control

It Was Liberating Almost Untill We Got Naked And I Was On Top Of Him Riding Him And All I Could Do Was Think Of August

I Was Haunted By Image Of Me And August Sexing All Night Long

Looking At Benny All I Can See Is August It Was Crazy I Was Fuckin Another Nigga While Thinkin Of August

So Much For Being Free