Today Was My Baby Ultrasound And Surprisly August Was Sitting Right Next To Me Just Like He Said He Would

With All Thats Been Goin On Its Nice To Finally Have The Support On My Husband For Once

I Was Layin Down On This Damn Table Waiting For The The Doctor To Come In

And August Was On His Phone

"Im Tired Of Being At Home I Needa Been In Lab Workin On Some New Shit"He Said

"You Need To Relax...You Just Got Off Tour Aug"I Said

"You Don't Get Paid For Relaxing"August Said

"August We Have More Than Enough Money...We Doing Fine."I Said

"That's Exactly Why I Need To Be Working I Don't Wanna Fall Off...I Gotta Keep Goin I Can't Just Sit Here"He Said

"You Won't Fall Off Aug...You Wont"I Assured Him

"Glad You Still Believe In Me...So Many Don't Right My Own Blood Wishin Bad On Me"He Said As He Shook His Head

"So What Who Cares What They Think You Do Everything You Can For Them And The Moment You Tell Em No They Wanna Get Mad Fuck Them"I Said

"Now They Sayin All Type Of Shit In The Blogs"August Said

"You Need To Just Cut All Ties With Em They Only Wanna Be Family To You When Wanna Use You"I Said

"Damn Shame We Got The Same Blood And They Wanna Hate...If The Shoe Was On The Other Foot I Wouldnt Hate If Anything I Would Be Happy For Em"He Said

"Well Everyone Don't Have Good Heart Like You Aug..."I Said

Dr.Taylor Walked In Smiling And Said "Hello.. Wow Here We Are Again You Two Are Gonna Catch Up To Me Soon I Have Four"

"Thats All Her Doc.."August Said Making Me Giggled

"Yeah Right"I Said As I Giggled

Dr.Taylor Lifted My Shirt Up And Said "How Are We Feeling Today"

"Good...A Little Hungry Though"I Said

She Pressed On My Belly And Said "Thats Good...You Feel Any Moment Today".

"No...Not That Much Today"I Said..

She Put This Cold Jelly Stuff On My Stomach And Said "Lets See What's Going In There"

She Started The Ultrasound And Pointed On The Screen And Said "There's The Baby Your About 11 Weeks Along. "

Than She Said "Oh My"

"Is Something Wrong"August Asked

She Turned At August And Said "Theres No Heartbeat"

"What"I Said As My Heart Began Pounding

"No Heart Beat...So That Mean Its..."And Before August Could Finish His Sentence

She Looked At Both Us And Said "Im Sorry"

"Are You Telling Me My Baby Is Dead"I Asked With Tears In My Eyes

She Look With Sorrow Upon Her Face And Said "Yes...Im Sorry"

"Why"August Asked

"Well Sometimes Things Like This Just Happen It Has Nothing To Do With The Mother...Doctors Don't Know Why Exactly A Fetal Hearts Stop..."She Said

"Its Nothing We Can Do"August Asked I Was Lost For Words In A Shocked I Was Trynaa Understand What Was Goin On Because I Didn't Know

"Its Nothing No One Can Do"She Said

"What Do We Do Now"He Asked

"We Remove The Deceased Fetus From Her Uterus"She Said

"Baby...My Baby Its Not A Fetus"I Said As Tears Poured From My Eyes Pain Was Too Much To Take In

"I Apologize...I'll Give You Two Time To Talk...Take As Long As You Need I Know This Must Be So Hard For...Sorry For Your Loss"She Said As She Looked At Me As If She Felt Bad For Me

She Walked Out Of The Room And Closed The Door Behind Here

"Sorry For Are Loss...Loss Did We Really Lose Our Baby"I Asked August As Tears Fell Non Stop

"Ziah...Im Sorry"August Said As He Held My Hand

"August Why This Has To Happen To Me..."I Cried Out

I Didn't Wanna Believe It I Fought So Hard To Keep This Baby But Now There Is No More Baby And I Felt Like A Part Of Me Was Dying

Words Couldn't Tell You How Bad I Wanted This Baby

I Picked Out Names,Bought Clothes,And Even Picture With My Child Looked Like

And Now Thats All Gone With My Child A Child Whom I Love More Than Breathing A Child Whom I Will Never Meet,See,Or Hold

Felt Like My Soul Was Bleeding,I Cried Untill My Head Hurted And After That I Was Still Shedding Tears

I Keep Asking Myself Why...Why Did This Happen To Me,Why Did I Deserve This And Why I Let This Happen

And I Don't Know How I Let This Happen I Never Saw It Coming I Just Knew That I Was Going Have This Baby

A Silent Miscarriage Is What Doctors Call It I Called It My Worst Nightmare

My Baby Was Gone...And A Part Of Me Died With My Child

After They Remove My Deceased Child From I Felt Even Worst

I Had To Stay In The Hospital For A Few Days Just To Run Test On Me

And I Swear I Tired My Hardest To Sleep Through This Pain Untill I Dreamed Of My Baby Than I Wake Up Crying

August Was By My Side The Whole Time But That Didn't Make Me Feel Better Because He Never Wanted This Baby In The First Place

I Was So Angry With Him But I Was More Angry With Myself

Im A Mother How Could I Not Know When Its Something Wrong With My Baby How Didn't I Prevent This

I Was Hurt All I Could Do Was Sleep And Cry

August Woke Me With Food In His Hand "Get Up You Haven't Eaten In Two Days You Needa Eat"

"I Can't Eat...Just Let Me Sleep August"I Said On The Verge Of Cryin

"Just Eat A Little Than You Can Go Back To Sleep"He Said

"Im Not Hungry"I Said

"I Hate Seeing You Like This What Can I Do To Make You Feel Better"He Asked

"Bring My Baby Back"I Said Softly As A Tear Fell From My Eyes

He Put His Head Down And Said "I Can't"

"Than Leave Me Alone"I Said As I Rolled Over In The Bed And Crawled Up In The Bed

I Was Hurt,Hopeless,And Broken So Damn Broken I Felt Like Something Loved Soo Much Was Stolen From

Empty I Was Inside Very Empty