For The Past Week Its Been So Much Tension Under This Roof I've Been Holding Back And It Feels Like Im Bouta To Explode Any Second Now

August And Kacy Been Talking She's Out In New Orleans And He's Flyin Her And The Baby Out This Weekend

Im Tryin To Be Supportive And Get Through This But Its Not Easy I Don't Him To Be No Where Around That Bitch

But I Had No Say So I Just Had To Shut My Mouth

Early In The Morning I Was Throwing Up In The Toilet..All This Stress Got Me Physically,Mentally,And Emotionally Drained

Felt Like I Had The World On My Shoulders And No Matter What I Do I Can't Fuckin Win

Everything Was Just Failing...I Hated That August Was The Father

He Promised We Would Get Through This But I Just Don't Know How

I Wanna Move Forward But August Action Always Seems To Push Us Back

We Have Two Beautiful Boys Who Mean The World To Me And For Them I Will Smile...I Won't Let Em Know Mommy's Breakin Down Inside I Won't Let Em Know How Daddy's Breakin My Heart Again

I Couldn't Focused I Had Exams This Weeks Playdates And On Top Of That I Still Haven't Found A New Nanny Yet

I Was Dealing With Two Small Children Who Needs My Attention Daily While Studying And Dealing With My Marriage

I Had A Full Plate And Yet I Still Made Time To Sit With My Mother And Have Tea

As We're Sippin Tea I Noticed How My Mother Kept Looking Sorrowful At Me Like She Felt Bad For Me

"Ma..What Is It?"I Asked Her

"Why Didn't You Tell Me Whats Was Goin On With You And August"She Asked Me

"..I Don't Like Discussing My Marriage Problems With Others Ma...I Don't Wanna Be Judge I Know A Lot Of Woman Might Think Im Stupid For Sticking Around With Him For This Long...Sometimes I Judge Myself Ma..But For Better Or Worse Right?"I Said

My Mother Looked At Me And Said "Miss Thang....Its A Apart Of Being A Woman You Know How Much Shit We Have To Take From Men.....When I Was I Married To Your Father I Dealt With It All Different Woman,Lies,Heartbreak After Heartbreak And I Stood By His Side Baby That Doesn't Make You Stupid It Makes You A Woman We Were Made To Be Strong"

"Yeah Ma But Why Does I Always Have To Deal With His Shit And Be Strong"I Asked

"Because You Have Children Who Look Up Too You,They See Mommy Being Strong So They Have No Choice But To Be Strong Too"She Said

"Its Not Easy"I Said To My Mother

"It Never Is"She Said

Even Though Things Been Tuff On Me And August I Never Once Thought To Leave Him Or Get A Divorce

How Can I....We Have Children And The Last Thing Ima Do Is Tear My Family Up

I Promise Myself That I Will Give My Children A Family With Both A Mother And Father And Im Gon Keep My Promise Even If It Kills Me

I Was Stress And So Worry About Our Future Which Is Not That Bright Right Now

I Took A Few Moments To Myself I Was Layin On The Couch And I Wasn't Feeling Well At All

"Girl...You Look Like A Hot Mess"I Heard Nina Voice Say

I Looked Up At Her And Said "August Isn't Here..So Can I Help You"

"I Know He Isn't Here...He Told Me You Was Looking For A Nanny So Here I Am"She Said

I Instantly Sat Up And Said "You Joking Right"

"No Seriously You Know I Just Moved Here And I Can Use The Cash Im Good With Kids Ask August Himself"She Said

"No I Won't Be Asking Him Anything Look Im Sorry But I Don't Think You Qualified For This Job"I Said

"Qualified?..What Im Not Good Enough To Looked After Yo Kids"She Asked Me

"Thats Exactly What Im Sayin Let Your Self Out"I Said As I Laid Back On The Couch

"August Sho Know How To Pick Em....You Stuck Up And Think You Better Than Me,You Know August Told Me What Yall Goin Through And I Think Its Unfair For You To Hold Him Accountable For Something That Happened Before Yall Was Married That Baby Was Here Before Yall Said I Do"She Said

I Stood Up And Looked This Dumb Bitch In Her Face And Said "You Are Way Out Of Line...Whatever Me And My Husband Are Going Through Have No Concern With You Me And You We Ain't Friends We Ain't Shit So Don't You Eva Come For Me Or My Marriage"

"Im Just Trynaa Help"She Said

"Your Help Is Not Needed Here!"I Said

When Me And August Go Through It I Don't Tell Anyone Our Problems Not Even My Mother

I Fell Like Our Business Is Our Business And Everybody Don't Need To Be In Our Business

We Already Got The Media And His Fans Up In Our Personal Business Than You Wanna Run And Tell This Hoodrat What We Going Through Sometimes I Don't Understand August

It Was Bedtime And I Was Layin In Aydens Bed Reading Him His Favorite Book

As I Finished Reading Him The Last Page In The Book I Noticed He Was Fast Asleep

I Slowly Removed Myself From His Bed And Tip Toed Out Of His Bedroom

I Walked Into My Bedroom Where August Was Sitting On The Bed

We Haven't Spoke In Days So We Both Just Look At Each Other

He Opened His Mouth And Said "You Gon Have To Talk To Me Sometime"

"There's Nothing To Talk About Your The Father And Im Happy For You"I Said Dryly

"Funny Real Funny"He Said

"I Wasn't Trying To Be Funny..."I Said

"How Can You Get Mad About Something That Happened Before We Were Married"He Said

"It Happen When We Were Together When You Cheated Its Doesn't Make It Any Better"I Said

"Its Old Shit!"He Said

"That Comes With A Child...Nigga Why Didn't You Use A Condom With Her "I Said

"Sorry The World Doesn't Revolve Around Aziah....Everything Always Gotta About You...Stop Being Selfish For Second And Realize That Its An Innocent Ass Child In The Middle Of All This Shit! "He Said

"That You Created !....How Am I Selfish I Care About My Family You On The Other Hand Won't Even Pay For Our Child Education Just To Protect Your Other Child....You Would Take From My Baby To Give To This Bitch Baby...!"I Yelled

"So Typical Aziah When Shit Don't Go Yo Way You Wanna Whine And Cry Like A Bitch...Let Me Tell You Something Ima Take Care Of Mines! All Of Mines If You Don't Like It Then Don't Let Door Knob Hit Ya On The Way Out"He Yelled

"I Wish I Could But Can't Do That!"I Yelled

"Why!"He Yelled Back

I Placed My Head Down And Said "Because August! ...Im Pregnant Again"I Cried Out