Me And August Paid For Vanessa's Funeral We Felt Like It Was The Least We Can Do.…After All Vanesssa Did For Me And My Kids…We Felt Like We Owed Her

Never Thought I Would've Been Paying For A Funeral…Last Time I Ever Been To A Funeral Was When My Grandmother Died

It Still Doesn't Seem Real To Me….Felt Like It Was Just Yesterday Vanessa Came Up In My Room While I Was Sick,Weak And Frail And She Did Everything To Make Sure I Was Comfortable Because She Genuinely Care About Me And My Children

And For Things Like That I Could Never Repay Her Back Im Am Blessed And So Lucky To Know Soul As Pure As Hers You Don't Meet Special People Like That Every Day And I Just Wish She Could Of Saw What I've Saw In Her I Wish She Knew How Great She Was

A Week After Her Funeral.. I Was Five Days Away From Opening Up "Slayed" And Things Seems Like They Were Going Right Must Be Heaven's New Angel Shinning Down On Me

I Was Getting Dressed To Go To A Meeting I Was Already Late For When August Walked In Our Bedroom And Said "All That For A Meeting…Why You Tryna Look Sexy"

"A Very Important Meeting "I Said Smiling

He Sat On The Bed And Said "You Know Its Something Different About You"

"Yeah Im Feeling Better....You Know My Doctor Said That If My Next Few Tests Looks Good Than I Can Be Declared A Cancer Survivor I Feel Amazing "I Said Putting My Red Bottom Heels On.

"Thats Good..God Is Good But I Wasn't Talking About Your Health ..Its Ya Attitude….And Its How You Come In Late At Night And Run To The Shower As Soon As You Get Here ...Taking Private Calls... Texting.…And Ya Phone Got A Lock On It Now.... Whats Up Ziah"He Asked Me

"August What Are You Talking About"I Asked Feeling Guilty

"I Been Knowing You For The Longest And When Im Fuckin You Its Like...…You Thinkin Of A Another Nigga….You Walk Difference,You Wear Ya Hair Different.…I Been Peeping Shit…Just Be Real With Me...You Fuckin To A Another Nigga"He Said

Now Every Since That Night I Sleep With Rell I Haven't Even Spoken To Him.…Now Why Was August So Suspicious I Have No Clue

"August….You Tripping Look Who You Talking To Its Me…Aziah.…Your The Only Man I Would Ever Want"I Said

"Why You So Distant From Me"He Asked Me

"Its Work Babe..….Im Dealing With So Much…Maybe I Haven't Been Showing You Attention That I Should And Im Sorry For That But I Promise After I Finally Open This Shop Me And You Gon Take A Baecation Just Me And You….There's No One Aug"I Lied

"Baecation On You?"He Said As He Smiled

"Yes On Me.…."I Said As I Giggled

"Im Sorry Maybe Its Me...I Haven't Been To Sleep In Days I Been Working On This Album And...Its Just That We Been Together So Long Sometimes I Just Wonder If Im Still Fucking You Good...Or If Im Still Making You Happy…"He Said

"Yes And Yes.…..Stop Second Guessing Yourself Eveytime We Kiss Its Just Like Its Our First Kiss"I Said Smiling To Myself

I Walked Over To Him And Sat Next To Him

He Leaned In And Kissed Me

"Like That"He Said

"Just Like That"I Said As Smiled

"I Wanna Have A Baby"He Said

"What?"I Said Smiling

"Lets Have A Another Baby…..Stop Takin Birth control"He Said

"A Baby"I Asked

"I Been Feeling Like We Missin Something…Maybe Its Another Baby Ayden Its 4 Azian Is One Its Time Im Tryna Have A Pretty Daughter Thats Beautiful Like You"

"Okay.…But I Really Have To Go…. How About We Try Tonight"I Said

"When You Get Home?? You Know You Gon Fall Asleep Like You Always Do"He Said

"No Im Not….Ima Be Up And Ready"I Said

Than Ayden Walked In And Said "Mama I Can't Find My Shoe"

"Okay Well Just Wear Another Pair….Ayden You Have A Thousand Pair"I Said

"I Don't Wanna Wear Another Pair I Wanna Wear These Shoes"He Whined

"Come On.…We'll Find It…It Gotta Be Somewhere In This Big Ass House Lets Retrace Ya Steps"August Said To Ayden

"Im Leaving.…Don't Forget Ayden Has Karate At 3 And Azian Have Swimming Classes At Five….My Mother And David Is Coming Over Tonight For Dinner…" I Said

"Im Supposed To Be In The Studio All Day.…When You Gon Hire A New Nanny"August Asked

"I Want To But….. Its A Long Process I Just Can't Hire Anybody……But I Will…"I Said

Vanessa Was The Best Nannie We Ever Had….I Trusted Her With My Children Lives…I Don't Think I Could Ever Trust Another Person Like To Take Care Of My Kids.

Sometimes I Still Call Her Phone I Knows She Gones But I Just Wish She Would Pick Up

With August Always Busy And Now Im Busy A Nanny Is Necessary For Us

It Was Literally A Long Day.. When I Got Home I Smelled Something Good In The Oven I Was Starving

I Walked In The Kitchen And My Mother Was Cooking As David Was Holding Her From Behind Kissing On Her Neck

"Well Well Well...I Knew Something Smelled Good Whats Cookin?"I Asked

My Mother Turned And Looked At Me And Said "I Got Some Fried Chicken Cooking With Some Mashed Potatoes Corn On The Cob, Shrimp Alfredo And A Peach Cobbler"

"Im So Hungry…August And The Boys Are On The Way"I Said Taking Me A Wine Glass Out And Filling It Wine

"Hows Everything At The Shop"David Asked Me

"Finally Everything Is Coming Along I Open Up In Five Days.."I Said Smiling

'High Five"David Said

I High Fived David

"Cheers…To Life"My Mother Said As She Lifted Her Glass

As Me And David Both Lift Our Glasses

"To Life..."I Said As Smiled And Chink Glasses With My Mother And Her Husband

Felt Proud To Be Opening My Own Salon..Mines That I Worked Hard For By Myself A Celebration Is On The Come For All The Long Night,Sweat,Blood,And Tears I Put Into This Business

My Moment My Time My Very Own Business

As I Was Sipping Wine With My Mother The Doorbell

Rang

"That Must Be August And The Boys Now"I Said

I Got Up And Walked To The Front Door And Opened It And It Was Miracle Standing At My Door

Im Looking Like Bitch

"I Know You Hate Me….I Know Im Probably The Last Person You Want To See But I Can't Go On Like I Have To Come To You As A Woman"She Said

"If Your Here To Tell Me That Your Sleeping With August….I Figured That Out On My Own Miracle And If Your Here To Apologize For It I Really Don't Wanna Hear It"I Said As I Fold My Arms

"First Off Im Not Here To Apologize For Anything Secondly I Just Came Over To Tell That I Was Pregnant…By August…And I Think You Should Know That "She Said

"You What"I Said Looking At Her Stupid

"And Than He Made Me Get An Abortion"She Said As A Tear Fell Down Her Eye

"When Was This?"I Asked Her

"A Few Weeks Ago.……"She Cried To Me

"A Few Weeks"I Repeated

I Know This Bitch Ain't Standing At My Door Telling Me My Husband Done Got Her Pregnant

Innocent August My Ass! I Ain't The Only One With Secrets In This House

I Was Pissed Off You Would Be Too... I Literally Couldn't Even Look At August Without Snappin I Tried To Hold It In Before I Lose My Mind

I Survived Through Dinner Without Going Off And After My Mother And David Left And Ayden And Azian Was In The Bed Sleep

I Went In My Bedroom

And August Was In The Bed In His Draws Sleep

I Got So Mad And Balled My Hands Up And And Frowned My Face Up

This Nigga Walking Around Like Hes Change Ain't Shit Change He Been Fuckin This Bitch Raw…His Ex Bitch At That

I Grabbed A Pillow Off The Bed And Picked Up And Hit Em With It

"What The Fuck!"He Yelled As He Jumped Outta His Sleep

"Why You So Sleepy?"I Asked

He Looking At Me Like Im Crazy

"Long Day Of Cheating"I Asked…..As I Hit Em Again With The Pillow

"What Ya Talm Bout"He Said

"What Am I Talking About? Im Talking About Miracle Show Her Ass Up At My Door Face Soaked In Make Up And Told Me She Had Abortion With Your Baby"I Said

"She Told You What"He Said So Clueless

"You Already Had One Break Up Baby….And Now You Out Here Fucking Bitches Raw Having Abortions.. !…Thats What We Doing Now"I Said

He Stood Up And Grabbed Me "Nah Don't Touch Me.. You Really Got This Hoe Pregnant Foreal Tho August I Thought You Was Changed"

"I Am Changed….She Lying"He Said Grabbing On Me

As Im Trying Move His Hand Off Me I Said To Him "How August How….This Bitch Stood At My Door In Tears In Fucking Tears….Why Would She Lie"

"Cause She Mad….Mad Cause She Can't Have What We Have Thats Why….Mann I Been Outchea Working Focusing On Our Family And Work.…Man Im At The Studio All Day You Know That Shit When I Leave There Im Coming Home To You And My Kids So How Can I Find Time To Go Fuck Miracle She Always On My Dick.….She Probably Did Have A Abortion But It Wasn't With My Baby"He Said

I Just Folded My Arms

"The Bitch Is Crazy……She Staying Callin And Texting My Phone I Stay Blocking That Hoe...…You So Dumb You Gon Believe A Hoe Over Me…."He Said

"August….You Lied To Before"I Said

"Yeah But I Ain't Lying To You Now.…I Never Fucked That Girl"He Said

Than He Kissed Me On My Neck And Said "Now Stop Trippin…We Supposed To Be Making A Baby"

He Squeezed His Hand On My Ass And Whispered In My Ear "You Gon Have My Baby"

Than He Picked Me Up And Laid Me On The Bed And Started Kissing Me

And All I Could Do Was Think About If August Was Telling Me The Truth Or Not….Than Again I Can't Even Be Mad Cause Im Not The Most Honest Person In The World Right Now

I Got Secrets Of My Own Meanwhile August Tryna Make A Baby I Was Thinking Of Rell Haven't Talked To Him In The Longest

I Kept Telling Myself That Maybe It Was For The Best My Mind Often Thinks Of Him And Im Wondering If He's Thinkin Of Me Right Now

After August Made Love To Me All I Got Up The Next Morning And Showered When I Got Out The Shower I Stood There Looking In The Mirror

"Another Baby"I Said Looking In The Mirror At Myself

My Life Was To Hectic Already The Last Thing I Need Is To Have A Another Baby

Im Finally Opening Up My Salon And Im Finally Starting To Trust August And A Baby Would Get In A Way Of Everything Right Now

Although August Made It Clear He Wanted Me Off The Pill…I Just Wasn't Ready To Have Another Child

So Continue Taking My Birth Control Pills