Dealing With This Cancer,Rasing My Children,Starting My Own Business Up,And Trying To Stay Happily Married

The Last Thing I Needed Was August To Go Falling For His Ex Again My Plate Was Full And I Was Just Feeling Angry Inside He Was Calling And I Was Caught In My Thoughts

Couldn't Talk To Him Because Talking Turns Into To Fighting And Fighting Lead To Misunderstandings And Miscommunications

What Was They Talking About,Why He Didn't Tell Me Himself That He "Ran Into Miracle",And What Was They Laughing At Together? Old Times And Past Memories?

After Bathing My Children I Showered And Than Crawled In My Bed And Soon Feel Asleep

August

I Keep Calling Ha.…And She Ain't Pickin Up…Her Dumb Ass Friend Always In Our Business Now She Thinkin Im Fuckin Around When Im Not

Sick Of Always Trying Proven Myself…Tryna Get This Money Take Of My Family Ain't Thinkin Bout No Bitch Every Day Im Getting Accused Of Something Making Me Feel Like I Might As Well Go Fuck Another Bitch She Already Thinkin That I Am

Called Her Ass About 30 Times Before I Just Said Fuck It And Hit A Club Order Gold Bottles And Got Lit

Drinking My Problems Away Like They Wasn't Gon Come Back Again Well Fuck It Lets Live For Tonight

Drinks Was Flowing Whole Team Goin Crazy Feeling Like That Nigga Really I Was Feeling Fucked Up Inside Cause Every Time She Accuse Me It Hurt A Nigga Cause Its Like She Don't Believe In Me And She My Wife She Posed To Be With Me Not Against Me Now Wonder Im Drinking These Problems Away

Aziah

Waking Up Looking At The Miss Calls From Him And Picturing Him And Miracle Still Had Me Feeling Some Typa Of Way I Couldn't Even Talk To Him Right Now

I Got Dressed And Went Down Stairs Where Vanessa Was Downstairs Giving The Boys Their Breakfast I Smile And Said "Good Morning"

My Boys Smiled At Me..Ayden Looked At Me And Said "Good Morning Mommy"

Vanessa Smiled Brightly And Said "Good Morning How Are You Feeling"

"Im Okay..…Just Came Down For Some Juice So I Can Take My Meds Which Im Probably Going To Throw Up Anyways But Hey Thats Cancer And Cancer Sucks"I Said Being Sarcastic

Vanessa Walk Over To Me And Said "Hey You Are Okay You Gon Get Through This"

It Wasn't Necessary The Cancer That Had Me Aggravated It Wasn't Necessary August But It Was Everything In My Life That Wasn't Going Right That Had Me Uneasy

Vanessa Smiled At Me And Said "And By The Way…Im Pregnant"

"Your What"I Said With My Eyes Big

"I Found Out Last Night I Can't Believe It"She Said Smiling

"Oh My God That's Fantastic Vanessa Im Happy For You Congratulations"I Said Hugging Her

"Im So Excited I Already Made My First Doctor Appointment Which Is Today So You Mind If I Leave Early Today"She Asked

"Yeah Of Course…..Did You Tell Your Family Yet"I Asked

I Looked Down And Said "I Called My Mother And Told Her But She Just Hung Up On Me..Me And Her Never Been Close You Know"

"I Understand Sometimes Its Like That But You Have My Full Support Anything You Need I Got You I Know Some Really Cute Baby Boutiques That We Have To Go To"I Said

She Smiled "So You Gon Break The News To Ayden"

And I Just Laughed

"Come On Ayden Lets Go"Vanessa Said

"Bye Bye Azian Bye Bye Mama"Ayden Said To Me

"Bye Have A Good Day At School And Be Good!"I Said

"I Am Mama"He Said

"I Love You"I Said Kissing His Forehead

"I Love You Too"He Smiled At Me

Vanessa And Ayden Walked Out

I Looked At Azian And Said "Its Just Me And You…Say Mama"

"Dada"Azian Said

I Rolled My Eyes And Said "Dada Is Gone And I Can't Seem To Find Him I Don't Know…. Am I Just Tripping I Should Call And Talk This Out"

I Realized I Was Talking To A 10 Month Year Old Who Didn't Understand A Damn Thang I Was Saying

Toya Walked In With A Male Friend

"Hey I Been Calling You"She Said

"I Turned My Phone Off Wassup"I Said

"Go Grab Ya Bag We Going Shopping...Hey Azian Cutieee"She Said

"We Going With Him?"I Ask Referring To The Tall Brownskin Handsome Dude With The Tattoos On His Face

"This Is Rell He's A Rapper I Talk To His Homeboy Tone I Was Thinking Maybe You Could Show Him Around Atlanta Since He Just Move Here And All He Know Is Where The Studio Is"She Laughed

Rell Was Fine Especially Smiling With Those Pearly Whites Showing

I Faked A Smiled And Said "Excuse Me Can I Talk To My Friend Alone"

I Grabbed Toya And Dragged Her To The Living Room

"I Know You Ain't Tryna Hook Me Up With A Nigga When You Know Damn Well Im Married What Kinda Of Shit Is That"I Said

"Chill...I Let Em Know You Got A Husband….I Was Thinking You Could Use A Friend That's All August Can Friends How Come You Can't"She Asked

"Because Its Disrespectful"I Said

"Oh My God How Many Times Have August Disrespected You…Why You Playing Fair You The Only One……You My Bitch Im Tired Of Seeing You Hurt And Crying You Been Good To August And You Don't Deserve The Shit He Put You Through Look Rell He Good Nigga Hungry And Humble It Don't Get No Realer Than That Im Not Saying You Gotta Fuck Em Im Just Saying It Can't Hurt To Get To Know Someone"Toya Said

What She Was Saying To Me Mad Sense To Me

"Lets Go Im Trynaa Get A New Outfit…You And Rell Gon Ride Together And Me And Azian Gon Ride Together…You Got Five Minutes To Go Put On Something Cute Go"She Demanded

Five Minutes Later I Was Ready To Go I Slipped On Something Cute But Simple

I Knew This Whole Little Set Up Was Wrong But How Many Times Have I Been Done Wrong

I Walked Down The Stairs

Toya Smiled While Holding Azian And Said "Thats More Like It Lets Go"

Toya Walked Out With Azian

So Its Just Me And Rell Standing In front Of Each Other I Was So Nervous And Shy

"You Know My Name Whats Yours"He Asked

"Its Aziah"I Said

He Smiled And "You Gorgeous I Wasn't Expecting You To Be So Beautiful"

"What Was You Expecting Basic?"I Asked

"Nah I Honestly Didn't Know What To Expect Actually Im From St Louis I Just Moved Here I Just Signed To Def Jam"He Said

"Congrats..Thats The Same Label My Husband Is Signed To"I Said

"August Alsina…Ain't He A Singer Or Some Shit"He Said

"Yes He Is From New Orleans"I Said

He Started Laughing

"Whats So Funny"I Asked Em Curious About What He Was Laughing For

"The Way You Representing For Him…I Get It You Happily Marriage Babygirl…I Ain't Tryna Destroy Yo Happy Family I See You Got Little Babies Im Definitely Not Tryna Be The Nigga To Fuck Up A Happy Home…Im Just Tryna Be A Good Friend To Ya"He Said

I Smiled And Grabbed His Hand And Shook It And Said "Im Fine With That"

"Shall We Get Going Than"He Said

"Yeah Toya Probably Already At The Mall"I Said

"Lets Go After You"He Said As He Grinned

Rell Was Cool As Hell We Spent Some Hours Together And Not Once Did He Try To Hit On Me Or Flirt With Me We Just Talk And Vibed He Took My Mind Of So Many Things And Made Me Laugh

He Drove An Audi And Was Lit Our Way To Get Food

He Like "Atlanta Is Lit"

"That's The Problem Its Too Lit...See I Wanna Move To Like Nashville Ride On Horses And Live On A Farm" I Said

"Didn't Even Know Black People Go To Nashville…How A Sweet Girl Like You Get Up In A Lifestyle Like This"He Asked

"I Met Aug But Even Before I Knew Him I Like Going To Strip Club And Being Turnt Up We Use To Have So Much Fun Now He Likes He's The One Having Fun And Im Just So Afraid That He's Having Too Much Fun Without Me"I Said

"He Ever Cheated"He Asked

"Man Yes He Cheated A Couple Of Times"I Said

"And You Stayed"He Asked

"I Wouldn't Say I Stayed Because We Broke Up But He Always Come Back And Talk His Ass Back In"I Said

"You That Type"He Asked

"What Type?"I Asked

"That Think You Can Change Him.…Look Let's Be Real All Niggas Cheat…But If A Nigga Really Want You And Gon Give Up All The Hoes,Stop Fuckin Around Because He Loves You That Much Maybe He Just Don't Love You Enough"Rell Said

"What About Your Little Girlfriend Does She Loves You Enough?"I Asked

"Girlfriend…..I Don't Have One Of Those No Mo Its Just Me And My Money"He Said

"What Happened To Her You Cheated"I Asked

"I Cheated Nahhhh...It Ain't Like That She Cheated On Me She Fucked My Nigga...My Bestfriend At That"He Said

"Oh My God Are You Serious"I Said Shocked As Eva

"Yeah Females Cheat Too….Shit Hurt Me Because I Love That Bitch Foreal And She Betrayed In The Worst Way When You Hurt A Nigga Like That You Turn A Nigga Into A Whole Different Nigga.…A Savage"He Said

I Shook My Head And Said "How Could She Do That Sleep With Your Best friend"

"Its So Crazy Because The Same Bitch Is The One Seeing Me On The Tv,Hearing Me On The Same Songs As Her Favorite Rappers Nah She Calling My Phone Cause A Nigga Done Came Up On My Way To Stars While She Still At Home Fuckin Clown"He Said

"Well Thats How The Cookie Crumbles"I Said Smiling

"You Like The Whitestblack Female I Ever Met...Its Cool Tho I Fucks With You"He Said

Making Me Blush.…..