It Was Like Things Went From Good To Bad So Quick I Was Getting Sicker By The Second And Some Nights I Just Stay Up All Night Long Trying To Make Sense Of This All

Sometimes I Cry And Cry Just The Thought Of Me Being Gone...Gone Like I Never Existed Gone Away From My Children My Mother And My Husband Killed Me Inside

A Few Months Had Passed Since I Been Diagnosed After I Had The Surgery I Was Doing Intensive Chemo And I Wasn't Feeling No Better My Spirit Was Down My Faith Was Low

I Was Coming Home From Chemotherapy Exhausted As Ever And I Could Barely Walk I Was So Weak

I Attempted To Take A Step Up The Stairs But I Couldn't Even Lift My Leg Up To Walk

August Was Behind Me "Its Okay...Its Okay"

But It Wasn't Okay

He Picked Me Up And Carry Me Up The Stairs To My Bedroom Than He Laid Me In The Bed

He Placed A Blanket Over Me Than He Laid In Bed With Me And He Held Me In His Strong Arms

"August If I Die..Please Please Don't Ever Let Ayden And Azian Forget About Me"I Said As A Tear Fell From My Eye

"...Don't Talk Like That...Ain't Nobody Dying Ya Heard Me Nobody !"He Said

"August Im Not Sure About That Anymore I Already Feel Like Im Dying Now...And I Just Need To Make Sure That My Kids Will Be Okay Promise That You Will Always Be There For Them No Matter What And Don't Be Too Hard On Em"I Said

"Aziah Baby...Stop Talking Like That Please...You Gon Be Alright We Gon Beat This Thing You May Be Sick Now But By The Grace Of God You Gon Be Okay God Hears Us And He Will See Us Through I Just Know It"He Said

"I Just Feel So Bad....You Have To Stay Here And Take Care Of Me You Should Working On You Next Album I Have My Degrees I Should Be Starting My Business By Now....Its Not Fair Why Does Bad Things Always Have To Happen To Me"I Cried Out

"God Give His Toughest Battles To His Strongest Soldiers Baby...He Wouldn't Give You Too Much If He Knew You Couldn't Handle It You Gotta Fight This For Ayden For Azian For Me...Cause We Need You"He Said

He Wiped My Eyes And He Kissed Me

"The Doctor Said Ima Lose My Hair August"I Said

"Its Hair...It Will Grow Back I Will Still Love You Whether You Gotta Head Full Of Hair Or If You Completely Bald Baby Im From New Orleans The Hood Im Use To Girls Who Ain't Hair Anyways"He Said

I Giggled And Said "Be Quiet.. Is Everything Ready For Tonight"

"Yeah I Called And Invited Everyone..Ya Mama...I Got My Mama Flying In,Ya Daddy And Ya Friends...You Sure You Wanna Tell Everyone Tonight"He Asked

"Yes Im Sure Im Ready To Let Everyone Know"I Said

Than My Nanny Vanessa Brought Ayden And Azian In My Room

"They Heard You...They Wanted To Come And See You"My Nanny Vanessa Said

Ayden Climb Up In The Bed With Me And August And She Gave Azian To August

"Mommy...I Seen A Frog"Ayden Said To Me

"Did You...What Color Was The Froggy"I Said Being Excited

"Green"He Shouted

"Green Thats Right Ayden"I Said As I Kissed Ayden

"Chef Jackson Is The Kitchen Preparing Dinner It Smells So Good"Vanessa Said

"You Welcome To Stay For Dinner If You Want"I Said

She Smiled And Said "I Would Love Too But I Have To Get Up Early In The Morning Im Taking Ayden To The Zoo Tomorrow He Is Obsessed With Animals"

"Well Thank You Vanessa You So Good With Them"I Said

"No Problem I Love Them Just Like They My Own Children...Ayden Come Give Me Hug"

Ayden Got Off The Bed And Ran To Vanessa And Gave Her A Hug

"I See You Tomorrow Morning "She Said

"Bye"Ayden Said

Than She Waved At Azian "Bye Bye Lil Man"

"Okay Im Leaving"She Said As She Walked Out

You Know The Worst Part Of All This Is Soon I Might Not Have These Days Anymore

Days Where Me And August Would Literally Just Lay In Bed With Our Kids All Day

Days Where Ayden Talk My Ears Off And I Sit And Listen To Every Word He Said

Days Where I Sit And Talk To Azian And He Just Straight Face And Looks At Me Like Im Stupid

My Boys Is The One Thing I Don't Wanna Have To Miss

What Would Life Be Like With Me Being Without Them And Them Being Without Them

I Don't Even Wanna Know What That Life Is Like Im Afraid So Afraid Looking At Them I Just Burst Into Tears

"Whats Wrong Mommy"Ayden Asked Me

I Just Couldn't Stop Crying To Answer Him

So August Said "She Just Happy"

Than Ayden Shook His Head "No...She Not"

August Smiled And Said "The Incredible Ayden Can't Be Fooled"

I Calm Myself Down And Smiled And Said "Im Okay Ayden"

I Said Wiping My Eyes Ayden Kissed My Head

Later On At Night My Children Was Fast Asleep

Where Me And August Were Getting Ready To Have Dinner With My Family And Close Friends

I Look In The Mirror I Looked Very Sickly And Thin Not Even Make Up And A Nice Tight Dress Can Make This Even Better

I Felt So Ugly And Especially As I Brushed My Hair And Clump Of My Hair Fell Right Out Into My Hand

I Looked In The Mirror Holding My Hair In My Head And I Fell Like The World Ugliest Person

August Stood Behind Me

He Kissed My Cheek And He Smiled And Said "You Beautiful...."

"Now What Am I Supposed To Do With My Hair"I Asked

"Put In A Ponytail"He Said

I Shook My Head And Said "Can You Do It For Me"

"My Pleasure"He Said As He Grabbed The Brush And Began Gently Brush My Hair Up In A Ponytail

"That Looks Nice Actually...Sorry I Never Gave You A Daughter"I Said

"We Have Plenty Time And More To Have A Daughter"He Said

I Turned Around And Looked At Him And Said "How Can You Be Sure August"

"Because I Believe In God Most Importantly I Believe In Ya"He Said

"What If This Kills Me"I Said

"It Won't....Where's Your Faith"He Asked Me

"I Think I Left In Dr.Taylor Office That Day She Told Me I Had Cancer"I Said

"If I Gotta Have Faith For You And Me Than Thats What Ima Do"He Said

I Stood Up And Said "You Ready For This"

"Ready When You Are"He Said

I Took A Deep Breath And Said "Im Ready"

I Dreaded Telling The Ones I Love About Me Being Sick But I Felt Like It Was The Right Thing

Walking Down Stairs August Standing Strong Behind Me

Everyone Watch Me As I Slowly Walked Down The Stairs

When I Finally Made It Down Stairs I Seen All My Family And Friends Smile Expect My Mother

She Was Suspicious I Can Tell How She Stared At Me Looking Through My Soul

"Whats Wrong With You"She Asked Me

Leave It To My Mama To Always Know Me

"Nothing Lets All Go Eat"I Said As I Faked A Smile

"Good Cause Im Starving And That Food Smells So Good"Toya Said

"Im Not Going Anywhere Until You Tell Us All Whats Wrong With You"My Mother Said

"Yeah Tell Us Whats Going On"Cathrine Said

"Well I Wanted Us All To Eat A Nice Good Meal Before I Tell You All The Sad News"I Said As I Looked At All Their Faces

August Held My Hand As I Opened My Mouth And Said "I Been Sick Real Sick And Its Because I Have Cancer"

And All Their Faces Dropped My Mother Eyes Filled What Tears

"Cancer"Toya Said In A Sorrow Tone

"No....No..No"Cathrine Said

"I Had It For A Few Months..Now...And I Don't Know Whats Gonna Happen To Me Doctors Are Hoping I Beat This"I Said

My Father Put His Hand Down And He Immediately Walked Out

My Mother Looked Me In My Eyes And Said "Do You Think You Gon Beat This"

I Shamefully Looked At My Mother And Shook My Head As I Said "No Ma'am...Most Days I Can't Even Get Out Of Bed"

Cathrine Stood Up And Walked Closer To Me "Child You Know Who Jesus Is ?He Is The Healer And The Creator And Thee Holy Spirit"

"Pray With Me...."She Said Bowing My Head

And Everyone In That Room Join In A Prayer For Me