I watch the familiar orange flame burn on the wood and smile as I think back to my birthday, when Crystal made us swear to do this every now and then. It was such a good idea. It's just the six of us tonight. Brad and Crystal, Savannah and Kevin, and Josh and I. Three couples. Six happy people. At least I hope everyone is as happy as I feel.

"Pretty."

I smile at Crystal as she sits next to me then look down at the rose in my hand. "I know. Josh gave it to me for our anniversary."

She frowns. "But it hasn't been a year."

I laugh. "He's been celebrating every month that passes. This is the seventh rose he gives me."

She rolls her eyes. "He's so cheesy."

I look to the side where he's talking with Brad. "He's sweet."

She studies me. "How are you doing? I heard what happened last Friday."

My smile fades a little as I remember last Friday when I got a call from Josh's chief. I can still feel my heart pounding hard against my chest. I knew something had happened the moment he told me who he was. And then Josh is on the line telling me that he's okay and that I don't need to worry. Apparently, there was some confusion. It had been one of Josh's colleagues that had gotten hurt and the chief was miscommunicated. I was relieved, of course, but I know that it was very much possible. Josh risks his life for a living and that night reminded me how vulnerable life is.

I had gotten used to the routine. It's been seven months since we got married so we are very well settled now. We had to live with Savannah for two more weeks after the wedding until the deal closed on the house and then it was another week until we were able to get a bed and move everything into the house. It was stressful and tiring. It seems like so long ago though only a few months have passed. At the same time, I wouldn't change any of it for anything. Josh and I have spent many memorable moments since we got married. He makes me the happiest woman alive.

I can't believe it's almost a year since we got married. Time goes by so quick, especially when you're happy. Josh and I have been hoping for a baby but it hasn't happened yet. I hate that I'm starting to get worried. I know it's totally normal to not get pregnant right away, especially when I had been on birth control since I was a teenager. I just want a baby so bad. I'm scared that I won't be able to give Josh the pleasure of becoming a father. I'm scared I won't be able to carry children on my own. It's starting to eat me inside.

"Good." I sigh. "I got scared but I'm glad it was a false alarm."

She nods. "I know exactly how you feel."

"That's what we get for falling in love with firefighters." I smile.

"Brad is worth it most of the time." Crystal jokes.

I laugh. "How are you guys doing?"

With Brad and Crystal living in Portland, we don't see them as much. This is the first time in about three months that we all get together. There's always something in the way. Work. It's always work. Mostly on their part. I'm so lucky to have weekends off. One of the perks of being a teacher. I finally got my own class this school year. It's been challenging but it's also the best thing I've ever done. I feel passionate about my job. I can't imagine myself doing anything else anymore. I'm so glad I went for it and followed my passion.

"Good," she says. "We've been on opposite shifts lately so that kind of sucks but it also makes the time that we see each other better." She smirks.

"TMI." I joke laughing and she laughs with me.

We suddenly hear Kevin and Savannah arguing a few feet away. My smile fades and I shake my head. "I honestly don't know why she's still with him. They're always fighting."

Crystal follows my gaze. "What's that saying? Fighting means you care? I don't know, something like that."

"It's not healthy." I insist.

"Hey, not everyone is like Josh." She looks at me. "Have you two even had a fight?"

I smile and nod. "Yes. It was a while ago, when we were moving into the house. I got mad at him because he didn't get the mat that I wanted for the living room when I had told him exactly which one I wanted."

"You're really fighting over mats?"

I laugh. "Shut up! It was a stressful time, okay?" I sigh. "Besides, I realized how stupid I was being right after the fight so I waited for him that night until he came home from work to apologize."

"And?"

I look at him and smile. "He got home with a brand new mat, the mat I wanted."

Josh looks up and catches my gaze. He grins at me. I watch as he stands up and makes his way towards me.

"Are you two talking about me?" He asks sitting next to me. He puts his arm around me automatically.

"We're always talking about you." Crystal jokes then laughs.

I smile at him. "I was telling her about our first fight."

"I will never look at that mat the same way," Crystal says.

Josh chuckles. "It's a very special mat," he says looking down at my lips. I smile then lean in to kiss him.

"And I'm out." I hear Crystal say as she walks away.

Josh teases my tongue with his and I shut my eyes and deepen the kiss. I feel so tense. I suddenly don't want to be here. I want to go back home and have sex with Josh. I think he senses my tension because he pulls away and places his palms on my cheeks. His brown eyes roam all over my face before his eyes meet mine. "What's wrong?" He asks softly.

I suddenly feel like crying. I don't know what's wrong. I don't know why I'm being like this. I have the most perfect husband by my side. I look away. "Nothing," I say quietly trying to fight back the tears.

He hesitates then he reaches for my hand and pulls me up. "Come on. Let's go for a walk."

I follow him away from the campfire and concentrate on his hand around mine. I can see the little fire tattoo under his wrist and I turn to look at mine. Every time I look at it, it reminds me of our love story. It reminds me of our love, of how much I love him and how he loves me.

"Please tell me what's wrong," he says after a moment of walking in silence.

We stop walking then. He looks at me while I watch the waves crashing against each other. I finally gain the courage and turn to look at him. "Will you still want to be with me if I can't give you any children?"

I watch as his face begins to reflect anger. "What sort of question is that?"

I sigh. "It's been almost a year, Josh. We can be looking at the possibility of fertility problems. I-"

"Please stop talking." He interrupts and I shut my mouth in surprise.

"You're angry." I state.

"Of course I am," he says shaking his head. "Natalie, I didn't fall in love with you or marry you for the future children that you could give me."

"But you want kids."

"Yes," he says then places his hands on my shoulders. "But before I wanted that, I wanted you, I loved you. I will love you no matter what." He tells me looking into my eyes and I can feel my eyes beginning to tear up. "I love you now and I will love you tomorrow and next week and a month from today. I will love you for the rest of my life and I will want you by my side until my last breath."

"I'm sorry." I cry. "I'm just worried."

His expression softens and then he puts his arms around me. "I know you are but you shouldn't be. Don't worry about tomorrow, focus on being happy today, with me." He kisses the top of my head and I put my arms around his torso tightly. "If it ever comes to that, we'll go through it then." He pulls away to look at me. "But I have faith that it won't come to that. Maybe I just gotta love you a little harder, eh?"

"I love you. I'm sorry." I say cleaning the tears on my cheeks.

"Don't ever doubt my love for you, Natalie, how many times do I have to tell you?"

"I won't." I promise and I mean it this time.

My thoughts can be so deceiving. I've spend the last two months worrying about the fact that I haven't been able to get pregnant. It seems silly now. Josh is right. I can't live with this on my shoulders. I have no idea what's going to happen. We might have a kid a year from today, we might not. It might take longer than I want it to and it might not happen at all. I have no control over it. I need to learn to be happy today, now, in the present. Our days aren't promised. I should focus on loving and caring for Josh, my husband. He deserves it and I do too.

"And don't keep these things to yourself." He continues cleaning a tear on my cheek. "I'm your husband. I want to share your happiness and worries or burdens. You're not alone."

"You're too perfect." I tell him.

He half smiles. "No, I'm not. I just love you very intensely and profoundly."

"I feel the same way." I sniff trying to control my emotions.

"Good, you know, considering we're bound for life and all." He shrugs.

I laugh and he smiles. I reach up and kiss him. He puts his arms around my waist and pulls me off my feet onto his arms. "Whoa!" I laugh as I put my arms around his neck. He holds me as we kiss and long after that. We have forgotten all about our friends who are cuddled up around the campfire. Josh sits on the sand and I sit in between his legs. We stare the ocean for a long time. The moon is bright up in the sky.

I feel Josh press his lips on my shoulder. I close my eyes when I feel his tongue on my skin. He kisses my shoulder then the crook of my neck and then I feel his lips on my ear. "Let's go home." He whispers and I nod eagerly, opening my eyes.

He makes love to me that night slowly. It's intense and profound. He's trying to show me how much he loves me. He's keeping the promise he gave me. I forget about everything and love him through our lovemaking. No matter what happens, I know I'll have Josh by my side through anything. We'll be each other's strengths. We're what we need and want and we're lucky to be able to live this love the way we do...

It won't be until three months later, when I find myself doing math in my bathroom, that I will come to the conclusion that our first baby was conceived that night.

Samuel, our beautiful baby boy.