Crystal waits with Josh and I after she comes back with some coffee and bagels. Josh takes the coffee but he doesn't eat. I force the damn bagel down my throat, hoping it will give me the energy that I need to get through this.

"Sorry I missed your calls," I say to Crystal around noon when I feel a bit more awake.

She looks down. "Oh, yeah. Don't worry about it."

I turn to look at her. "Is everything alright? Did you need anything?"

She takes a deep breath then looks at me. "I know it's not the right time to tell you this but I-I was calling to warn you about Brad."

I frown. "What do you mean warn me? You knew he was going to Newport?"

"I figured he was." She sighs. "Cassie came to the station and told him about you and Josh-"

"She what?" I interrupt. Josh actually turns to look at Crystal too and I feel relieved in getting any reaction out of him.

"She told him everything, Nat. Even that you were living together. I don't know how she found out. Brad was furious, obviously, and left in his car. I figured he was going to look for you or Josh." She sighs again. "I wish I would have done more. Follow him or something."

"I can't believe Cassie did that," I say angrily.

Josh clenches his jaw. "She had no business-Jesus Christ. What is wrong with her?"

What is wrong with her? She obviously did it deliberately probably hoping to hurt us. Does she know what she caused? She is part of the reason Brad is here too. If she wouldn't have opened her mouth, Brad would have never gone to Newport and Josh and I would have been able to speak with our parents then we would've all found a way to tell Brad and he wouldn't be here today.

Before either of us could say anything, we see Clint making his way towards us and we all stand up eager to know something about Brad's condition. He looks at Josh. "He is stable. The doctor says it's a good sign that he made it through the night. He'll be awake in a few days if it all goes well."

We all let a breath of relief.

"That is so good to hear," Crystal says first.

"Can I see him?" Josh asks quietly.

Clint puts his hand on Josh's shoulder. "Of course, son. See if you can convince your mother to come home to rest for a while."

Josh nods and I take a step forward. "Let me come with you, please. I can wait outside." He nods and I follow him down the hall.

I look around as we walk, hoping to see Cassie. I have some things to say to her and I have the urge to go look for her but at the same time, I know she's not worth any my time. I just hope that she's done after all the damage she caused.

We reach Brad's room and Josh goes in. I stay outside, not wanting to intrude, and look through the window. I can see Brad laying on the bed, under a white sheet. I notice that he has a cast on his right leg. He must have broken it. He also has cuts on his face. He has a tube through his mouth that is helping him breathe. I cover my mouth to keep myself from making noises as the tears run down my eyes. Oh Brad. What have we done to you?

I watch as Josh walks in. Louisa, who is sitting next to Brad, raises her hand and Josh takes it. He kneels by the bed and puts his head down. I bite my lip and turn around, leaning my back against the window. This is horrible. I can't believe that this is happening. All this time, I've been fighting against my feelings for Josh to prevent this. I wanted to prevent a tragedy.

I don't doubt my feelings for Josh. They're as real as what is happening right now. I love him and I want to stay with him. I don't want this to end us but he's so broken right now. He's so distant. I know I have to be strong and be here for him. I'll be whatever he wants me to be. I'll be his best friend or his girlfriend or both. I just want to be here for him.

"Natalie."

I look up at the sound of my name and see Cassie standing a few feet away. I feel the anger come back to me. I clean the tears on my cheeks angrily as I glare at her. "I can't believe you have the nerve to come here." I tell her stepping away from the room, not wanting Josh or Louisa to hear us.

She rubs her hands together nervously. "I-heard what happened to Brad. Natalie, I'm so sorry."

"It's too late for you to be sorry, Cassie. I couldn't care less about your apology."

She nods slowly. "I deserve that."

I shake my head. "You had no business butting in, Cassie. It was selfish! Look where it's got us."

"I know," she says. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to apologize to you, to Josh."

"Just leave us alone."

She nods. "Okay." She turns around then stops and looks at me. "I really hope Brad has a good recovery."

I look away, not really caring about her hopes. They're useless now. I know it must have taken a lot for her to swallow her pride and come here. She probably does feel shame in what she did as she should. It was wrong. Though nothing could tell me that we wouldn't be here either way. I'm sure Brad would have reacted the way he did anyhow. Maybe I'm fooling myself in trying to blame Cassie for this.

I walk back to the waiting room and sit next to Crystal. I lean my head on her shoulder trying to find some comfort. She grabs my hand and squeezes it. "It's all gonna be fine," she says quietly.

I want to believe her but I can't. Things are not fine right now and it feels like they never will be again.

When Josh comes back moments later, he looks worse than he did before. His shoulders seem tense and he looks so tired and sad. It breaks my heart to see him this way.

"We should go get some rest," he says but he doesn't look at me.

I nod and stand up. I say goodbye to Crystal. Then I walk to Clint who is standing by the windows drinking a cup of coffee.

"Josh and I are heading out." I tell him shyly.

"That's good. Get some rest."

I look at him and see so much of Josh in his eyes and kind smile. I hesitate. "Clint, I wanted to apologize for everything."

He smiles. "I appreciate that, Natalie, but none of this is your fault."

"That's kind of you to say," I say then gulp, trying to fight back the tears. "But I caused this in a way. I never wanted to hurt Brad or Louisa or anyone. I'm so sorry."

He squeezes my shoulder. "No one is perfect, Natalie. Don't beat yourself up so much."

I nod sadly. "Thank you. Have a good night."

"Take care of yourself."

I nod then turn around and follow Josh out of the hospital, feeling somewhat better. I felt that I needed to say something to Clint. Apologize, at least.

The drive to the apartment is quiet. Neither of us say anything. It feels like there's a wall between us now and it scares me. I love Josh and I don't want to lose him.

He gets in the shower when we get home and I lay on the bed, trying not to fall asleep because I want to shower too but my eyes are too heavy. I have my eyes closed when Josh gets out of the shower. I wait for him to get in bed and put his arms around me but it doesn't happen. He lays next to me facing the other way and he doesn't touch me. It makes me feel sad. I'm too tired to overthink about it and I'm thankful when I fall asleep.

~~~~

When I wake up the next morning, Josh is gone. My guess is that he's gone to the hospital. I call my parents and ask them to bring my car when they come over. My mom had told me they planned to come today and I had left my car in Newport on Saturday so I can't go to work today. Not that I was in the mood anyhow.

I keep myself busy all afternoon cleaning and making food. I go running with Crystal in the morning so that helps the day go by faster. My parents drop my car off later in the evening and then they head off to the hospital. I stay in the apartment, feeling the uneasiness start to consume me.

It doesn't get easier the rest of the week. It feels like the wall between Josh and I gets higher and higher with each passing day. I try to give him his space, thinking that he'll come to me when he needs me but he doesn't. He doesn't touch me at all. He doesn't kiss me or hold my hand. I don't say anything. I know he's probably going through a turmoil in his head and he's focused on being there for Brad. I don't need to be another weight on his shoulders.

But his indifference towards me hurts. I always thought that there would never come a time when Josh wouldn't touch me, when he wouldn't kiss me or hold me. He's always told me how he can't get enough of me. This isn't about the fact that we haven't had sex. No. It's about the fact that he doesn't touch me at all. He doesn't even speak to me. He almost avoids it. I wish he would talk to me and tell me what's on his mind but we don't have a lot of time to speak. I don't see him until late at night when he comes home to sleep. He gives me a quick update on Brad before we go to bed.

On Monday, nine days after Brad's accident, Brad wakes up. I'm not in the room when that happens. I'm probably the last person in the world that he wants to see so I wait in the waiting room. I hope that everything is right with his brain and motor skills. He'll have the cast on his leg for some time but I know he'll be alright, as long as his brain didn't suffer any permanent injury. I know it's selfish but I also hope that everything goes back to normal between Josh and I after Brad opens his eyes.

I stand up when Josh comes back to the waiting room. "Well?" I ask him searching his eyes.

"He's awake," Josh says.

I sigh in relief. "Oh, that is so good to hear. Is he alright?"

"He's a little disoriented but he's fine. The doctor said his brain activity is normal and he was able to answer all of the questions about himself so his memory seems to be fine." He looks down when he says that.

I ignore that part and smile. "That is such good news!"

Josh smiles and I realize that it's the first smile he's given me in over a week. "Yes, it is."

We look at each other and, for a moment, I believe that I've been overreacting. Josh and I love each other, everything's going to be just fine...and then his smile fades and his eyes are distant again.

"I'll be staying overnight, just in case. You should go get some sleep."

"Right," I say slowly. "Yeah. I'll get going then."

"Drive safe," He says. "Let me know when you get home."

I nod reaching for my purse. "Okay. Bye."

He hesitates then takes a step forward and kisses my forehead. I close my eyes and feel like crying at the feeling of his lips against my skin. It feels like it's been weeks since I've felt them. And then he steps away and I open my eyes and look away so he won't see the look on my face. I make my way out of the hospital and the wall between us grows higher.

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