《SLOW BURN》41. my fault
Advertisement
My dad and Clint get back a few hours later without Brad. Nobody knows where he is. Clint takes Louisa back to Portland without speaking to Josh. He won't even look at him. Josh doesn't say anything about it and I don't want to ask because we already have everything else going on around us.
After Clint and Louisa leave, Josh and I find ourselves in the living room with my father. He doesn't look angry which is a good sign I guess.
I hesitate. "Dad-" I let the sentence hang because I don't really know what to say.
"I don't know what to tell you two," my dad finally says. He's never been a man of many words. He usually doesn't talk about his feelings. He looks at me. "You're adults. I'm sure you knew what you were doing."
"Sir," Josh says stepping up. "I want you to know that I'm serious about Natalie. I care about her. I love her," he says tuning to glance at me before looking at my dad again.
My dad's expression softens at his words which makes me feel a bit relieved. "You're a good man, Josh. Nobody needs to tell me that." He places his hand on Josh's shoulder. "Just take care of my babygirl."
"Oh, Dad," I say blushing.
"Of course, sir, always," Josh says with a grin.
My dad nods then hugs me before leaving the room.
Josh turns to look at me and I smile. "Well that went well."
He nods. "I thought it would be much harder to get his blessing."
I laugh and it feels nice. So many things have happened since this afternoon. I feel emotionally drained. Josh puts his arms around me and hugs me tightly. "Let's go for a walk?" He asks and I nod in response.
We take off our shoes then we head outside to the beach. It's around eight at night so it's dark outside. There are not a lot of people which is nice. Josh and I walk in silence for a moment. I let the sound of the waves crashing against each other relax my tense shoulders. I think about what happened this afternoon. How Brad kicked open the door. How he saw us. I replay the anger and look of betrayal on his face as he called me a fucking whore. I gulp and look down at my feet.
"You alright?" Josh asks softly turning to look at me.
I nod. "Yeah."
He suddenly reaches for my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine. I look at him and he grins. "I forgot I can hold your hand now."
I smile. "You're right." I squeeze it. "Feels nice."
"Yes, it does." He agrees.
We walk in silence for a moment. It really does feel nice to hold hands and be with him without having to worry about anyone seeing us. We're free. The price was high but here we are. This is what we wanted right? To be together without hiding. I wish I didn't care so much about the price that we paid for this. I know neither of our families will forget today for some time. And then there's Brad.
"Do you think Brad is okay?" I ask quietly after a moment.
Advertisement
He doesn't seem bothered by my question and I like that. I'm not asking about Brad because I love him or anything. I care about him which is different. I care about him as a friend, as the brother of the man that I love.
"I think he's probably in a bar somewhere drinking," Josh says.
I nod. "Yeah. You're right. He's probably drinking."
We stop walking and sit down on the sand, facing the ocean. Josh puts his arm around me and I rest my head on his shoulder.
"He'll have to find a way to get over it," He says talking about Brad.
"I don't think it's going to be easy for him. He's always been so stubborn."
"Yes, he has," Josh says. "Maybe we should go away for some time."
I look at him. "Go away? Where to?"
He shrugs. "I don't know. Anywhere. You know, just give everyone some time to assimilate what happened today."
I think about it. "I like the idea."
He smiles at me and I kiss his cheek, not wanting to hurt him considering he has a cut on the corner of his lip from his fight with Brad earlier. His phone starts to ring then and he reaches for it in his pocket. I stare at the ocean as he answers.
"Hey, dad...okay...what?"
I turn to look at him and he has a worried look on his face. He stands up and I stand up with him, worriedly. This doesn't sound good.
"...where is he at?...no, I'm on my way...okay, bye."
"What happened?" I ask him after he hangs up.
Josh gives me a dreadful look. "Brad is in the hospital. He suffered a car accident."
I gasp. "Oh my god. Is he alright?"
Josh shakes his head. "I don't know. I-I have to go."
"Yeah, of course," I say following him back to the inn.
"He was driving drunk," he says as we walk. He shakes his head in disapproval. "Jesus, what is wrong with him? Why would he do that?"
Because we hurt him.
I gulp and swallow my words. I don't need to add fuel to the fire. "Please be careful."
"You're not coming with me?" He asks.
"I don't know if that's a good idea, Josh."
"I don't care if it's a good idea or not." He grabs my hand. "I need you there with me."
I smile despite everything that's going on. I nod. "Okay. Let me just grab my purse."
We reach the inn and put on our shoes then I go to my room and grab my purse. "Hey, mom?" I call outside their bedroom.
The door opens. "Honey, what's wrong?"
I didn't even realize that I was crying until I feel the tears on my cheeks. I clean them quickly. "Brad suffered an accident, Mom."
She places her hand on her chest. "Oh, God."
"Josh and I are leaving."
"Of course," she says following me into the living room. "Please keep me posted. Drive safe."
"We will," I say then hug her before walking out. Josh is already in the truck and I hurry and get in.
Advertisement
Josh and I don't speak as he drives. He's so focused on the road though it seems like he's a thousand miles away. I pray that Brad didn't seriously injure himself on the whole way back to Portland. Please let it be a small scratch. Nothing serious. Please let him be okay. This has always been one of my fears for Brad. For him to get behind the wheel while being drunk. That's why I tried to never complain whenever Gunner woke me up in the middle of the night to go pick him up. I wish he would have called someone tonight.
And hour and a half later, we get to the hospital and Josh and I hurry inside. It seems crazy to think that Josh was here a few days ago and now we're here for Brad. God. I hope he's okay. I hope it's not as serious as I fear. When we get to the waiting room, Louisa is crying in Clint's arms and my heart drops to my stomach. Oh my God. No. It can't be what I think it is. Please no. I won't be able to live with myself knowing that I'm part of the reason Brad decided to get drunk and decided to drive back home in that state.
Clint's eyes meet Josh and he shakes his head once, his eyes are full of tears.
Josh lets my hand go to run his hands through his hair. "Oh, God. Please no." He murmurs under his breath.
"No," Clint says quickly and we both look at him as he holds Louisa to his shoulder. "He's alive. Barely." He gulps. "He suffered head trauma and was induced into a coma to keep his brain from swelling." His voice is thick with emotion. I can tell he's trying his best to hold it together for Louisa.
"Oh my God." I whisper as the tears begin to flood my eyes.
"Fuck!" Josh curses as he kicks the wall.
Some of the people in the waiting room jump and look scared. Josh slides down to the floor with his back against the wall. It hurts to see him like this. It hurts to know that Brad is in one of those rooms with his eyes closed, in a coma. Oh my God. This can't be happening.
And all of this is our fault.
"Josh," I say softly as I kneel next to him. I place my hand on the back of his head. He looks at me with tears in his eyes and I know that he's thinking the same thing.
This is our fault.
We caused this.
This is the consequence of our actions. All of the times we looked at each other with desire. All of the times we kissed, we touched, we made love behind everyone's backs...this is what all of that has gotten us. We should have known better. Oh. We should have known better. I knew Brad wasn't mentally stable. I knew he would turn to alcohol. We should have been more delicate with this. We should have done it another way...or we probably shouldn't have given into each other in the first place. Brad wouldn't be in a coma right now.
I'm not a doctor but I know enough about comas to be scared right now. I know it's different when they're induced by the doctor. That gives me hope that Brad will be okay but thinking about it only makes me cry even harder. I wish I was stronger so I could console Josh right now when he needs me most but I'm not. I'm just as messed up as he is.
"It's my fault," Josh says as he leans his head back on the wall, his eyes are red and he has tears on his cheeks. "This is my fault." His voice cracks.
"No." I cry. "Josh, don't say that."
He doesn't appear to hear me or maybe he just doesn't believe me. If I feel this guilty, I can't imagine how much worse it is for him. Brad is his brother. His only brother. I can't believe we were enjoying ourselves in the beach just two hours ago while Brad was fighting for his life.
We spend hours on the floor of the hospital waiting room. Louisa and Clint are allowed to see Brad and they don't come back. I imagine Louisa doesn't want to leave his side. I can't even look at her in the eye right now. I don't know how I end up checking my phone and realize that I have a lot of missed calls from Crystal. I send her a text to let her know what happened and she gets to the hospital minutes later.
"Hey," she says as she helps me to my feet. "Oh my god, Natalie, I'm so sorry." She glances at Josh who is still on the floor. He hasn't moved in hours.
I begin to cry again and Crystal puts her arms around me. "It's our fault, Crystal."
"No, it's not. Stop it," she says then pulls away to look at me. "You didn't make Brad do anything. He is responsible for his own actions."
I look into her eyes and whisper, "He might never wake up."
She cleans a tear on her cheek. "Don't say that. He was induced which means he'll wake up soon, when the doctors feel he's stable." She grabs my hand. "Come. Let's go grab a coffee or something."
I shake my head. "I don't want to leave Josh alone."
She nods. "Right. I'll go get you something to eat. I'll be back."
I nod, too tired to tell her that I'm not hungry. She walks away and I realize that there is light coming in through the windows. It's already the next day and I don't even know how we made it. I kneel in front of Josh and place my hands on his knees. "Josh," I say softly. "Please." I beg when he doesn't move.
He looks up at me. He looks so sad. I know there's nothing I can say or do to make him feel better and I hate that.
"Please stand up," I say reaching for his hand. He doesn't say anything but he lets me pull him up on his feet. "Do you need anything?" I ask him helplessly.
He shakes his head then sits down on the chair where Louisa was sitting earlier in the night. I look at him worriedly. I've never seen him like this. I don't know what to do. He's completely shut down. He's here but not really.
I look at him and wonder how we're ever going to make it through this.
Please comment & vote!
Advertisement
- End61 Chapters
His Majesty Wants To Read The New Release!
Emperor Karlos Josef Rumillesa is known for his intimidating charisma. He, who is revered to as ‘The God of War’, has a secret hobby.
8 332 - In Serial17 Chapters
Half a Step Away from Love
In the scheming world of palace intrigue, Inessa Antego is in her element. Being the first lady-in-waiting to the Duke's sister, she won't stop at anything to please her mistress. Cancel an unwanted wedding? Easy. Show a secret lover out of the Duchess' bedchamber? Not a problem. Steal a portrait which compromizes the Duke? All you need is ask. Never mind she does it all with a little help from the palace ghosts. It's true that ghosts' friendship comes with strings attached, but what's a few favors between friends? The only problem is, Inessa has to play her scheming game against Lord Cameron Estley. Who is smart, clever and painfully handsome. Can she successfully juggle her lady's interests and those of her own heart? Especially considering that hate is only half a step away from love?
8 139 - In Serial30 Chapters
Completing the List
A woman named Lizzy Sheppard is forced to endure a very hard situation with the untimely death of her husband Hayden. While trying to cope with her loss, Lizzy uncovers something that changes the direction of her grieving process: her late husband's bucket list. 30 things Hayden wanted to do before he died, with only the first four scratched away. Lizzy makes a bold decision to finish the list for her husband and the journey to discover new things about the man she fell in love with. Completing the list brings Lizzy closer to his family, his friends and to the dreams that Hayden wanted to share with her, the love of his life.
8 141 - In Serial200 Chapters
(PART 1) TMLMIH: Master Mu's Pampered Wife
(PART 1) The Most Loving Marriage In History: Master Mu's Pampered WifePLEASE DO NOT VOTE ON ANY CHAPTER TO AVOID DELETIONContains Chapter 1-198 only, next chapters on the next book.This story is not mine, credits to the respective owner. For offline reading purposes only."Missus, time to fulfill your duties!" Mu Yuchen demanded as he pulled Xi Xiaye closer with his arms intimately wrapped around her waist.It was a meticulously planned feast for the powerful. Her fiancé had knelt down on one knee and proposed to her sister instead. Robbed of her right to her inheritance, she was prepared for the Xi family to throw her to the wolves.As she slipped away from her family that had turned their backs on her, she found him - Mu Yuchen, the low-profile and reserved noble that ruled City Z and led Glory World Corporation."Mu Yuchen, let's get married!" He looked up at her, then suddenly stood up."Where are you going?""Let's go. Any later and the civil affairs bureau will be closed."
8 220 - In Serial63 Chapters
The Healer | ✔
Important:- You Need To Read The Heartbreaker to understand the plot. Away from everyone, Rivaah is content living a life of single mother and a successful Advertising Head. Her love story didn't had that sappy happy ending, but the little bundle of joy she received was all worth it. She has it all set. Spending her whole life making her son's life better is her ultimate goal. But it seems God doesn't love her enough. When two choices land her in a state of either everything or nothing, she definitely goes for the first one. After all, her son is all she has. But the price she has to pay to make her son's life better, is huge. Will she get her sappy happy ending this time? Or will she be left the same, alone and all on her own. ______"Isn't he my daddy?""He is.""I wanna meet him.""He don't want us.""Why? Was I a bad boy?""No, darling. You're the best.""Mommy, please.""He doesn't remember us, son."He is definitely God's favourite. After ruining three lives, he forgot everything and is happy. He remembers nothing about the past, only the others affected are carrying the scars he inflicted.
8 206 - In Serial70 Chapters
I just want to be small - ZIAM.
It's hard to regress when you share a room with a playboy who fucks almost every lass he sees, and it's even harder to regress when you have a busy schedule due to university. Zayn just wishes he could have some alone time to spend with his thumb in his mouth, a teddy under his arm and his favourite show on his iPad. Or an enemies to lovers, university au in which Zayn age regresses and Liam is the biggest arsehole to exist. (Includes Ziam and Larry.)
8 80

