《SLOW BURN》36. hell for me

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One of the best things about kissing Josh is that we kiss until we run out of breath. It's as if we're both trying to make the kiss last forever. I wish that was possible. The feeling I get whenever his lips and tongue move against mine is unexplainable. It just fills me with great pleasure and turns me on. I have to remember that he's hurt and in the hospital though. I can't wait for him to be well again.

"Natalie," he says as we try to catch our breath.

I look at him. "Yeah?"

"Don't break up with me again, alright?"

I smile. "I won't." Then I kiss him as if sealing the promise.

It's a promise both to him and myself. I'm not going to try to break up with him again. I don't want to. No matter what, I'm staying by his side and if we ever do break up, which I hope not, it won't be because of me.

"Are they letting you go today?" I ask him after we pull away.

"Yes. Cassie said I should be released this evening."

I frown at the sound of her name, remembering our conversation. "I had a very unpleasant conversation with her before coming in here."

He looks at me. "With Cassie?"

I nod. "She told me she's known about us and that she heard what happened...that night between us. Oh and she also told me that Louisa's heart would be broken if she saw both of her sons fighting because of me."

"What?" He asks looking angry. "I can't believe she told you that."

"Yeah, me either." I shake my head then look at him. "I don't think she should know you and I are back together until we speak with our families."

He frowns but nods. "You're right. She might want to beat us to it." He shakes his head. "I just can't believe the person she has turned into. She can't manipulate you to leave me."

"No, she can't," I say then smile at him. "I love you too much."

His lips break into a smile. "I love hearing you say that."

I smile at him then it fades a little. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, Josh. You didn't deserve any of it." I look down. "Yesterday when I woke up next to Brad, I really thought I'd lost you."

"Yeah that wasn't a pleasant sight."

"I'm so sorry," I say looking up at him.

"It was all worth it, Natalie. Don't think about it anymore."

I smile at him gratefully then look down at our hands. "I'm going to have to move out now. I'm going to ask Crystal if she'll let me live with her until I find somewhere else to live." I was thinking about asking her anyway. Now is the time to do it. I can't live with Cassie anymore after everything she told me. She hates my guts. I can't trust her with my toothbrush.

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"You don't have to do that," he says and I look up at him curiously. "Move in with me."

"Are you serious?"

"Of course." He grins. "We're telling everyone we're together soon anyway. No one will know you live with me in the meantime." He reaches to the nightstand next to the bed for his key. "And you know what? I have the spare key right here," he says as he takes the key out of the key chain and hands it to me.

I grip the key in my hand. "I love the idea," I say excitedly then kiss his lips quickly. "It has to be today though."

"Even better. I'll need someone to take care of me." He winks at me making me laugh.

There is a knock on the door then and I let his hand go and sit back on the chair as it opens. Louisa pokes her head inside with a smile. "Well you two seem to be having a lot of fun in here," she says as she walks in.

I smile. "You know Josh, he's a funny guy."

She smiles. "I've come to take over. I imagine you wanted some rest and probably have to work."

Right. It's Monday.

"Oh, yeah," I say standing up. "I should get going then." I turn to look at Josh. "I'm so glad you're okay, Josh. Call me if you need anything."

He smiles. "Will do. Drive safe."

I smile then hug Louisa. "You call me if you need anything too."

"Thank you, sweetie. Take care," she says as we pull away.

I nod then glance at Josh one more time and he winks at me. I bite my lip then turn around and walk out of the room. I feel like skipping down the hall of how happy I am. In a matter of minutes, Josh and I got back together and I'm moving in with him. This is too good to be true.

I take a deep breath and take the smile off my face before walking down the hall. I see Cassie talking with another nurse at the admin desk and suddenly feeling confident, I stop a few feet away. She looks at me and says something to her colleague who walks away.

"I'm moving in with Crystal today." I tell her. "I'll be cancelling the lease so you'll probably have a month to move out. I think this is what's best for us."

She nods. "I agree."

"Goodbye, Cassie," I say then walk past her.

I really hope I never see her again. She made me feel so intimidated and unworthy of Josh earlier. It's amazing how confident I feel now after speaking with Josh. I feel like I can overcome anything. Even Cassie who stepped on me as if I were a cockroach a couple of minutes ago. I want to feel like this all day every day.

When I get back to the waiting room, Brad is sitting next to Clint. I say goodbye to both of them then leave with Crystal.

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"Well?" She asks as soon as we're outside. It's still dark but you can see the crack of dawn up on the sky.

"It went great. We cleared things up and I told him I love him. Turns out, I had already told him last night at the party and I didn't even remember." I smile at her. "We're back together."

Crystal squeals excitedly as she hugs me. "I'm so happy for you both."

I smile at her. "I'm moving in with him today."

I fill her in on what happened with Cassie and everything else. By the time we part ways, the sun is out in the sky. I know I should feel exhausted but I feel all this energy within me. I call in sick at work and head to my apartment to start packing. It feels like I am floating in the clouds as I walk around the apartment. I put on loud music and try to hurry before Cassie gets home.

I pack all my clothes, my dishes, and the rest of my junk first in suitcases and bags and put them in my car. I know I won't be able to take my bed or other furniture Cassie might leave. I'll probably have to do something about that after she moves out. It takes me all afternoon to pack everything and put everything in my car.

I keep thinking about how fast my life is changing. I've lived in this apartment for a few years now and I'm going to miss it. It sucks that it has to be all sudden and out of nowhere but it's just the way things have to happen. I feel relieved that I won't have to worry about avoiding Cassie. I'm going to be living with Josh now. It's going to be the best thing ever. I can't wait.

I grab something to eat before heading to his apartment and unloading everything. I spend the rest of the day cleaning and putting my clothes away. I organize Josh's clothes and do the laundry before taking a long shower. After all this, I feel exhausted and can't wait to get ready for bed.

Josh sends me a text at around nine at night letting me know that Louisa is dropping him off in a few minutes. It seems silly to have to hide in his room until she leaves but I know that it's only temporary. It's only until Josh gets better so we can tell our families about us. After that I won't have to worry about hiding or keeping our relationship secret, whatever happens.

I hide in the restroom when I hear the front door open. I can hear Louisa's voice in the living room. A few minutes pass before I hear Josh walk into the room. "Natalie?" He asks and I open the door and walk out. He grins when he sees me. "I'm sorry you had to hide."

"It's alright. It's just temporary," I say walking to him. He's wearing sweats with a white T-shirt. I can see that he still has the bandage around his chest. I get on my tiptoes and kiss him. "I put my clothes in your closet already. I hope you don't mind."

He smiles against my lips as he reaches out and puts a strand of hair behind my ear. God I missed him so much. I can't believe this is happening. "Of course not. You've made me the happiest man in the world by moving in with me."

I blush. "You're so sweet."

We pull apart and get ready for bed. He takes something for the pain before getting under the covers next to me. I can tell he's in pain but he's trying to hide it. He has a few pillows under his back so he's in a semi-sitting position. He reaches out and puts his arm around me and I move in closer to him.

"So," I say. "I heard you sacrificed your life for a puppy."

"You think I'm an idiot too," he says.

"Of course not." I look up at him. We have the TV on so I can clearly see his face. "I think it's sweet and heroic. Animals are just as important as people. I'm sure the family appreciated it."

"They did. They actually came in to see me today to say thank you."

"Really? Aw, I'm so glad they're all okay." I reach out and kiss his cheek. "And that you're okay."

He looks at me. "I missed you a lot, Natalie. These past few months were hell for me."

"I know, they were for me too."

"I'm so happy you're here." He sighs. "I wish my body didn't ache as much as it does so I could make love to you."

I feel something inside of me turn on at his words. I want him. It's been so long since we've been together. My body aches for him. No, Natalie. Not the time. He's hurt and I don't want to cause him even more pain. I press my lips against his and smile. "We'll have plenty of nights to do that."

"I love you," He says tightening his arm around me.

I smile. "And I love you."

His lips find mine and we make out for a while before pulling away. I rest my head on his chest and put my arm around his waist gently. He rubs my back soothingly, making my eyes feel heavy. This feels like a dream. Being here in his apartment and sleeping next to him-this is a dream come true. I don't want it to end. We have some things to face and we will but we're both exhausted because of everything that's happened in the past day so we need tonight. We need a night like this. A peaceful night where the only sound is the sound of our even breaths.

These are the type of nights you don't forget.

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