《SLOW BURN》20. i missed you
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I wake up Saturday morning with a headache which is usually not a good sign for the day. I take some ibuprofen then get out of bed and into the shower in the hopes of feeling better. I change into white shorts with a pale pink blouse and my white cardigan. I don't know what it is about Newport that makes me want to wear cardigans. I think it's the beach. It makes me want to feel all nice and cozy.
I find Savannah in the kitchen making breakfast for the guests. I help her brew the coffee so it's ready for them when they come down. Working in the inn can be very easy or hard depending on how many guests and the type of guests we get. Usually people here are nice and in a good mood but every once in a while, we'll get those repugnant customers that make me really glad my days in customer service are behind me.
We serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Mom is the one that cooks but Savannah has gotten really good at it which puts me to shame. It's not a five star hotel so we don't have to worry about menus or making a different meal for every guest. The way we do it is one meal for everyone which works because we're a small inn. Mom usually asks them if they have any allergies when they arrive.
"I don't have to work until four so I'll be here for lunch," Savannah says as we have breakfast. She made refried beans with eggs, bacon, pancakes, and toast. "You probably won't have to worry about making dinner. I don't think we'll get any guests tonight. It's been a slow week."
I nod. "You've gotten so good at this."
She shrugs. "I kind of like it. It's like working for yourself."
"How's work by the way? Still hate people?"
She rolls her eyes. "If you worked there, you would hate them too."
I laugh. "Probably."
"So what have you been up to? You know besides doing Josh."
I roll my eyes at her. "I haven't done Josh. And nothing just work. I started going to gym."
"No way."
I nod. "Yeah. I really want to get a belly button piercing."
"I have a friend that does piercings. Met him in high school. So come when you're ready. He's very professional and clean, I promise."
"Really? Cool."
She smiles at me. "I really wish you lived here. You could move in with me and we could work out together."
"That does sound nice," I say with a smile.
"But Newport doesn't have Josh." She jokes making me laugh.
We finish breakfast just before the guests begin to come down. I help Savannah serve breakfast for them then begin to clean the kitchen. I feel weirdly good being here. Maybe it's the light coming in through the windows and the sound of ocean in the background. I just feel good. My spirits are lifting. Maybe I should move here.
Savannah is right though. Newport doesn't have Josh and Josh happens to be the only person keeping me sane right now.
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"You're coming for the 4th of July, right?" She asks me later that afternoon.
I smile. "Of course. I love watching the fireworks here."
The Fourth of July is a few weeks away. It's one of my favorite holidays mostly because I love fireworks and the celebration in general.
I tell Savannah I'm going to hang out in the beach for a bit before she leaves. I walk barefoot on the sand and try not to think about anything and just focus on the sound of the waves. I'm walking along the shore when something hits me on the back of my leg. "Ow." I murmur as I stop and turn around. There's a football rolling next to me.
"So sorry!"
I look up and see a guy running towards me with an apologetic look on his face. He's wearing shorts with a T-shirt. I look behind him and see two other guys.
I reach out and grab the ball. "It's okay," I say handing it to him. He's really cute in a very subtle way. I notice he's wearing glasses. Probably not the best choice when playing sports but what do I know?
He grabs it. "Thanks. Is your leg alright?" He asks looking down at it. I follow his gaze and see a red circle forming. It does sting a bit.
I shrug. "I should be fine."
He offers me a genuine smile then offers me his hand. "I'm Tanner."
I shake his hand. "Natalie."
He runs his hand through his sandy brown hair. "Have we met? I feel like I know you."
"Uh-" I'm about to answer when I look behind him and see Josh walking towards us. I squint my eyes. Is that really Josh? What is he doing here? I shake my head and look at Tanner. "I don't think so. Sorry-I gotta go."
I walk past him and walk towards Josh to meet him halfway. It really is him. He's here. He came. For me. At least I hope so. He's wearing jeans with a blue shirt. He looks so handsome. I smile because I missed him a lot. "What are you doing here?" I ask when he's close enough to hear me.
He glances at the guy Tanner as he walks back to his friends before looking at me. "I tried calling you."
"Sorry-my phone is inside."
We stop when we are in front of each other. He looks at me carefully. "Savannah told me I'd find you here." He pauses. "I hope I'm not crossing a line coming here."
"Of course not. I'm so glad you came." I smile.
He finally smiles and I see his shoulders relax a bit. Then he reaches out to hug me. It takes me by surprise and I panic for a second before putting my arms around him too. Just a friendly hug. Nothing out of the ordinary.
"I missed you." He murmurs letting me go.
"So did I," I say shyly. "I'm so sorry about yesterday."
"You did nothing wrong."
"Come on, Josh. You took the heat while I stood there and said nothing," I say glancing at the waves then look back at him. "Don't give me a break, I don't deserve it."
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He half smiles. "What I meant to say, Natalie, is that I'm willing take the heat for you. I don't care about yesterday. I only feel bad for the way I handled it. I was too angry to say anything before Crystal did."
I nod slowly. "Remind me to thank her next time I see her."
He reaches out to touch a strand of my hair and I look around us nervously like every time I do when he touches me in public. I know my parents aren't here and neither are his. We don't have to worry about Brad or anyone we know seeing us. "I was afraid you weren't going to want see me again."
I look up at him. "Why would you think that?"
He shrugs. "I've noticed that you always want to pull away from me whenever we spend time together with our families."
I bite my lip, ashamed. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just that whenever we're around everyone-well it reminds me that what we're doing affects them too. It makes me feel guilty and doubt everything."
"Do me a favor would you?" He asks and I nod so he continues. "Don't push me away when you feel that way. I think you forget that I'm in this with you too. If something were to happen and everyone found out about us, I will stand by you, Natalie. You won't be alone."
His words make my eyes tear up and I have to look away to stop the waterworks before they begin. "Sorry." I say sheepishly. "I'm obviously an emotional wreck."
He smiles as he reaches out to dry a tear on my cheek. "If you want to cry, I'll hold you."
I shake my head with a smile. "Stop saying things like that or I really am going to cry."
He chuckles but doesn't say anything. We begin to walk, our arms brush against each other as we do. After I get my emotions together, I turn to look at him. "You didn't work today?"
"Well, I had requested the day off because I was supposed to spend the day with this really sexy girl that is driving me crazy," he says and I laugh, feeling my ears get hot. "But then she bailed on me and left me all alone with nothing to do."
"I'm sorry," I say with a smile. "This just came up. I had to help my mom."
"I know. I'm just teasing," he says nudging me with his shoulder. "I didn't know if it would be a good idea to come but I missed you. Besides, you owed me the day."
"That is true." I laugh then turn to look at him. "I'm really glad you're here."
"Good." He grins. "Or it would have been super awkward."
I laugh then turn around and glance at the inn. "I should probably be getting back. Savannah is probably leaving soon."
"Do you guys have a lot of guests?" Josh asks as we start walking back to the inn.
"No. There were three but they checked out this morning. Savannah said I probably won't have any guests tonight," I say casually.
"Would you mind at all if I stuck around?"
I smile. "Are you kidding? I would love that."
He grins as he reaches out to open the door for me. "Thanks." I murmur as I walk in.
Savannah is walking out of the kitchen with her purse. "Oh! I'm glad you're here. I was about to go call you."
"Are you leaving?" I ask her.
She nods. "Yes. I'm working late so I probably won't be back until tomorrow morning." Her smirk doesn't go unnoticed and I hope Josh misses it. Jesus. This girl. She smiles at Josh. "It's a good thing you came, Josh. Take care of my sister, will you?"
Josh smiles. "It would be my pleasure."
I roll my eyes at both of them. "Hello? I'm here and I'm not a child."
Savannah laughs. "I'm heading out. Behave." She turns around and walks to the front door then she turns and shrugs. "Or you know, don't."
"Alright. Goodbye!" I say after her.
She is laughing when she walks out, closing the door behind her. I turn to look at Josh who is frowning. "Does she know?"
"Yes," I say shaking my head. I go and lock the front door. "Kind of regret telling her, to be honest."
His lip quirks up in a half smile. "So what should we do now?"
I bite my lip, suddenly feeling nervous. "I don't know. We can watch a movie? I'll go make some popcorn."
I don't wait for his response. I walk past him to the kitchen. I go into the cabinet and take out a bag of popcorn then put it in the microwave. Then I fill myself a cup of water and drink it all in one gulp. I don't know why I'm so nervous. Josh and I are finally alone, I should be with him enjoying every second of it. Is it safe? No there aren't any guests but someone could stop by. The fact that Savannah knows I'm here alone with him isn't helping either.
I'm at the sink, washing the cup, when I feel Josh's arms go around my waist from behind. It makes me feel butterflies in my stomach, making the glass slip from my hands. Josh doesn't seem to notice. I reach for the glass again while he moves my hair to the side and then I feel his lips on my ear. "We're finally alone and you want to watch a movie?" He asks seductively.
I shut turn the faucet off and set the glass down, suddenly unable to function. All I can feel are Josh's arms around my waist and his lips as he presses them against the crook of my neck. Wow, okay.
I close my eyes as I feel his tongue on my skin. My knees feel weak and I hold on to the counter for support. I'm scared to move or speak because I don't want Josh to stop. I love his lips against my skin. The pleasure I feel is indescribable.
He's right. This is the moment we've been waiting for.
We are alone.
Just him and I and this fire between us waiting to be put out...
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