"I'm ready to continue."

"Are you sure?" I ask Kasia.

She came from the bathroom. Kasia seemed like she's feeling better but still shaken. Her shoulders are hunched dwarfing her height. I hate seeing her like this. Literally falling apart at what must be a painful thing to share with me. But I hope she finds some relief from discussing it.

Still I think she would benefit from counseling.

"I'm sure. I need to finish. I have to talk about this. Holding it in is swallowing me up from the inside. You're the first person I've told. Mom knows I met up with him but I didn't tell her the rest."

"Okay. You left off at Mickelo telling you about his Major Depression and trying to hurt himself twice in the past."

Tilting her chin towards the ceiling, she takes a second. "Right, he stormed off I didn't hear from him. I called him everyday but he wouldn't answer my calls. I was so worried he'd tried to harm himself again. About a mouth after he texted me, that he wanted us to get back together. Of course I told him I couldn't. I'm in a relationship with someone I love and I'm not attracted to him or men that way. Mickelo text me saying he'll do anything to make us work. He kept texting me everyday. Spamming my phone that he'll die if he couldn't be with me."

Kasia stops talking becoming silent. She shakes her head clenching her fists. I wonder what happened to him.

"It was to the point where he started making threats he'd kill himself if I didn't give him a chance. I started getting anxious he would, having learned about his poor mental health. So I tried reaching out to his family and shared my concerns. His family blamed me for what happened after we broke up in high-school. Even after I explained everything they told me to stay away from him."

"I'm guessing that only made you more nervous." I say.

"Yes. I couldn't sleep, Layla was getting worried. I didn't know what to do but I was worried and scared for Mickelo. A few days after I reached out to his family, I was contacted my his older sister. She told me the worst possible news. Mickelo took an entire bottle of sleeping pills and never woke up. He committed suicide."

I think I expecting her to say this, but it still floors me hearing it out loud.

"He took his life Eureka and the crazy thing is, I feel like if I hadn't gone to meet him that day, it wouldn't have happened. It could have been avoided. That kind, sweet, loyal human being is no longer alive because of me. It's all my fault he's gone. He's gone because of me." She mutters the last part as she tears up again.

I hug her close, knowing she's breaking right now. She's grieving a man she shared a past with. Someone she once cared about at a time when she didn't quite know who she really was as a person.

"Kasia it's ok to cry if you need to." I whisper in her ear.

I don't know what to say to make her feel better.

For once in my life I don't have the words. I just hold her while being there because that's all I can do in this moment. I just don't know if it'll be enough.

>>>>

"Thank you for listening to me. I feel somewhat better."

"You're welcome Kasia always. You can always call me, when you need someone to talk to. I'll be there to listen."

"I think I'm going to take your suggestion and get some counseling even if it's over video. Maybe bereavement counseling will help me get through this. I don't know what else to do. I don't think I'm ready to tell mom or even Kira, yet. Please keep this conversation between us alright?" She begs while holding my hand.

I nod. Squeezing her hands in mine.

"Of course. This is your story to tell. Whenever you're ready, I'll be there to support you."

Kasia hugs me one last time. I pull away smiling not a normal one, but one I hope makes her know I'm here for her. I know she'll get through this. I wish for that more than anything else.

"I'm going to head out now." Kasia says.

She stands up. Her makeup smudged and smeared underneath her amber eyes. Looking still ever beautiful and like one of the strongest woman I know for surviving this. Something like this can cripple a person's spirit. Kasia has a strong will. I'm proud of her for deciding to seek help.

"Okay, drive safe. Let me know how your first appointment goes when you start."

"I will thanks again. Kira is lucky to have you Eureka."

I become a little embarrassed but nod along. Kasia heads out after waving good night. When I close the door behind me, my eyes set on the clock on the stove realizing night's come. Only then realizing how many hours we spent together. I'm getting famished so I go to the refrigerator to search for food.

I wonder when Kira will be home.

>>>>

"Are you almost finished baby?"

Kira asks on the other side of the shower. His tired eyes watching me as I begin soaping up my body. He must have just arrived from work.

He looks exhausted.

"No I just started. Come in if you want."

He quickly undresses and steps in. Right away those firm arms wrap around my waist with a palm going to hold my tiny bump. He pressed his front to my back.

"I feel so tired. But I'm never too tired to take a shower with you." Kira whispers.

"You had a long day today. How long ago did you get home?"

"Five minutes. How was your day?" He asked.

"Good I had a normal day. I've been catching up on pregnancy stuff." I answer not breaking Kasia's confidentiality.

Kira kiss the side of my neck. He moves up to my breasts which already feel like they're becoming more sensitive. Holding each in one hand. It feels good immediately. I turn around pressing my soapy front to him. Looking up I hold him down so his face is closer.

"If you're too tired I can go to my appointment by myself tomorrow morning."

Kira eyebrows raise to the roof. He holds my waist picking me up. Careful as I stitch my thighs around him.

"Not gonna happen. I'm not missing any of your appointment. I'll wake up, don't worry."

"You sure?" I make sure. Pushing his soaked strands back away from his face. They're still in a ponytail. Seemingly getting longer. I undo it while maintaining eye contact with my sexy soon to be husband. Feeling delirious at the thought.

Once his hair tie is undone I put it around my wrist and go about working my fingers through his hair combing them through. His soft wavy brown hair falls below his shoulders now.

It's longer.

"My hair it's getting long baby. What do you think? Should I cut it to my shoulders or grow it out more and trim instead?"

"Its your choice. I like it either way. What do you want to do?"

I start to slip because of my soapy skin. Kira quickly evades this, securing me by my ass. Setting me back in place. I see when his eyes glaze over from holding me closer to him. But I also feel the affect my body has on him as well. Kira becomes hard under my ass.

"I'll try growing it out to see if I like. Can you check my ends tomorrow to see if I need a trim? If so can you do it please?"

"Of course. Let's finish showering before things get out of hand."

He smirks. Squeezing my ass again. Leaning in meeting his forehead against mine. He groans. "You may be pregnant but I'll still f>ck you like you aren't."

"What about rain drop? What if something happens?"

"I'm sure nothing will happen but let's ask the doctor just in case." Kira say. He sets me down. Then steals a quick kiss.

"Rain drop is the cutest nickname."

"I know right. I was thinking once we've make it through the first trimester we should start discussing names."

Kira begins soaping up with his scrub while I continue with my own.

"Yeah sounds good. Detka I want to ask you something."

"Hmm. What is it?"

"Do you think we could keep the tradition going with K names? If not K middle names instead?"

I hadn't even thought about that. Kira's family, no actually Lada started this tradition with naming everyone names starting with K. Hence Katina, Kira, Kasia, Kyle, Khristina, and Khioniya.

Should we continue it with our kid?

I don't hate the idea. There's cute K names like Kaylee to choose from if it's a girl, and something like Kristof, if it's a boy.

"Detka you don't like the idea." Kira announces. He didn't sound upset.

"No it's not that. I was thinking of some K names for girls and boys. I like the idea Kira."

"Oh. I thought you didn't."

I shake my head. Going under the showerhead to rinse off while holding him so as I can scrub my foot bottom. There's a path of white suds racing to the drain.

"I do. I think we should make the middle names special, not K names." I explain.

"Right there's that too. I totally forgot since I don't have a middle name."

"Yeah. Our kids will definitely be having middle names."

I stand up and Kira pinches my cheeks.

"Oww. Kira!"

"Kids huh. So you want more than one." He asks ignoring my pain.

I didn't realize I said that.

"I think so. If we only have one, Rain drop will get lonely. I want them to not feel how I did, being an only child."

Kira kisses my cheek where it tingles still from his pinch. Making my skin tingle below for an entriely different reason. I feel warmth build between my legs.

"How many were you thinking baby?"

Of course Kira is ready to make a whole team or somthing from the look on his face. I don't know. I think 2 is good but then I kind of like the idea of 3. Its not too many not too little. Picturing having 3 makes me question if that's a good idea though. My body would go through the ringer.

"Two or maybe and I mean maybe three." I answer.

"Three sounds great. If only we could have twins now so it'll make the process quicker."

Now it's my turn to pinch him. Kira shivers from this. "Stop speaking twins into existence. What if I am having two. I might faint if she tells us this. I need to look up how many weeks before your doctor can confirm this."

Kira chuckles sweetly at me like he's excited at the prospect of me having twins. I'm sure he is. Where would we even keep them? Both our apartments aren't big enough for twins.

"Eureka it's probably going to happen. If not this time around then the next time because twins run in my family. Look at my mom and Katina for example, they both had twins on the second time around."

Right. He's right! Don't think about it Eureka, about your belly becoming the size of a mini fridge.

"I know it's just a bit scary to think about it. Not pushing out just one, but two children. My vagina is going to have a seizure."

Kira laughs so loud, bending over holding his stomach. There he goes laughing like it's funny. I'm going to be the one pushing them out. I shake my head.

"Detka jokes aside it's going to be okay. I'll be there with you the whole time. Your vagina will bounce back, promise. It's stronger than you think baby."

"Of course you would know." I joke along.

Holding him under the water he rinses himself. Kira makes work of washing his hair super quick then we're stepping out. He holds me protectively as I climb out the shower.

"I think we should go to bed early since our appointment is early in the morning." He tells me.

"Okay."

Kira passes me my towel then gets his. We dry off then wrap them around ourselves. Heading out to my bedroom. I put on only a pair of panties. Regular ones. Kira goes to his drawer pulling out a pair of boxer-briefs. Yes he has a drawer now, actually three.

I climb in while he goes to hang up our towels. Tomorrow after the appointment I need to sort out the clothes so we can do laundry.