Author's Note: I am not encouraging suicide cut etc. Everyone deserves to live. #AllLivesMatter. Just like SylviaAlaniz said find someone to talk to.

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It felt like I had just woken up from a nap. But instead I had numerous bright lights hitting my face. I felt weak. My vision was unclear. My skin looked whiter than Snow White's.

Dammit I'm still alive was my first thought. I thought all my sadness was going to end and I was going to magically see my grandfather. But I didn't. All I saw was weird ass figures. My eyes were trying to focus but these damn lights were getting in the way.

"Can someone get rid of these horrendous lights? I can't see shit." I said in a raspy voice. My throat was so dry.

After hearing my faint request, someone turned off the light that was hitting my face and I could see better. There was a man with a white coat, a woman with scrubs and Martin.

No Michael.

Typical. I bet he just dropped me off again.

"Hello Mrs. Shaw, do you know where you are?" the doctor said in a calming voice.

"Call me Jeanette. And yes I know where I am" I said through a raspy voice again. My throat felt like it was dying. I needed water. And maybe some chap-stick.

"You know Jeanette you are very lucky. If your husband hadn't stopped your blood loss you would have been dead. We don't have many negative O pouches on hand so we wouldn't have been able to save you" he said bluntly.

"And where did my darling husband go? Let me guess he dropped me off?" I said in a low mocking tone.

"Well he has been staying the nights here hoping you would wake up. He's gone during the day but comes back at nights" the doctor explained.

"He's been visiting to see me?" I whispered more to myself. I was stumped.

Why would he do that?

"Jeanette, Why would you do this? You could have died. Why would you want to leave everything behind? Your friends your family. Me. I thought this friendship meant something to you" Martin said all at once.

"It does Martin it's just... my Grandfather died." I struggled to say.

"Jeanette" he said in a sad voice and hugged me "I am so sorry for your lose."

"I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to the old Fool. He was everything to me and now he's just fucking gone. He left me and I felt so alone. I wanted to be with him again and I thought this was the best way."I sodded into his shoulder.

"Jeanette killing yourself isn't the best way. You should have talked to someone before" He said in a serious tone and broke the hug.

"You don't understand. He has been with me through everything. When my mother left. When my father hurt me. He was the only one that has never left me." I said through sniffles.

"Your right I don't understand but-" he couldn't finished because he was interrupted by the door opening. It was Michael. Everything was quiet.

"Can I talk to my wife in private?" Michael said with eyes pinned on me. That caused me to look away. My eyes were glued to my hands.

"Sure" Martin said. He gave me one last glance and left the room along with the doctor and the nurse.

"How are you?" He asked calmly as he walked over to the chair that was next to my bed.

"I'm fine... Why did you do it? Save me?" I said still avoiding his eyes.

"Because... no one deserves to die. Well at least that's what my therapist said." he said as he put his hands on top of mine.

"What?" I said confused and glanced at him but my eyes didn't stay.

"...After my mother was... taken care of... I went through a tough time. I thought if my mother didn't love me, that I was unlovable. So I started to cut. Just like you. I would do it anytime I felt desperate, or lonely. Anything that was a trigger to sadness made me want to cut. My father wanted me to stop but I couldn't. I never wanted to cut. But I would never win the fight that was up in my mind" he struggled to say. He took a deep breath and continued.

"One day I cut too deep and ended up in the hospital. After that my father sent me to a therapist. The therapist helped me stop for a while. I've had three relapses but when Carly was born it made me want to stop for good. I haven't done it since." he said and I felt his eyes staring at me to say something. There was silence for a look time until I got the courage to look at his eyes.

"Why are you telling me this?" I said through foggy eyes.

"I mean.... Isn't this why we go through things? To share with others and try to help them. All I know is that when I was going through this it was annoying to try and talk to my father because I thought he wouldn't understand. And I guess I'm telling you just in case you feel the same." he said and squeezed my hand lightly. Suddenly I felt myself relax by his words. This never really happened around him because... well you know.

"Jeanette... I think you should go see a therapist" he said in a soft voice and my body immediately went rigid. My Grandfather tired to stick me in therapy and I hated it. I felt like I was being pitied and that brought along hostility in me which irritated my therapist. That bitch had it coming when I threw her notebook at her. And then she tried to recommend me for a group of angry people. Anger management she called it.

"Therapy isn't for everybody" I said and took my hands away from him. He didn't seem pleased by that reaction and took my hands again.

"Just consider it" he said with hope in his eyes. But it was a waste. After my first therapist I promised myself to never go again.

We sat there in comfortable silence until I asked him a question.

"If you use to cut deep... how come you don't have any scars" I questioned. I mean I have seen his toned body a couple of times and I didn't really see any scars.

"I have at least one scar that I kept to remember my past. The rest are covered with tattoos" he explained.

"I'm sorry I ruined your meeting. I know this was a very big deal to you." I said changing the subject.

"Martin rearranged them so I could have all of them in the two days that you were unconscious. Your notes were very helpful and they were the main reason I considered the deal in the first place" he explained.

"The doctor said that you came here to stay with me at nights... Why would you do that?" I said as I looked down at the hand that was on top of mine.

He took his other free hand so I would look at him in the eyes "Because I..." he was about to say but stopped there. After a couple of minutes of looking at me he cleared his throat and looked away from me.

He cleared his throat and said "Because I signed a contract."

"What?" I said confused. I don't know why but I wanted him to say something else. The contract wasn't even on my mind. He might as well have stabbed me in the gut because that was how I felt.

"Yea the contract says I have to be here for everything and this is one of those things" he said as he let go of my hand so he could scratch the back of his neck.

"Yes of Course. Thank you Michael" I said as I cleared my throat.

"So how long do we have for this trip?" I continued to say.

"Three days actually. Your staying here for tonight and I was thinking that Martin, you and I could go somewhere tomorrow night." he said.

"Great."

"Oh there's another thing I should probably inform you of" he added.

"Go on" I asked.

"You'll be moving back in with me." he said causally.

"What! No!" I said shortly upon hearing these words. I have moved at least three times in the past months and I will not be moving anytime soon. Too much work.

"It would be better if I were there with you. You know, to watch over you" he explained.

"I don't need a babysitter. I'll be fine." I said dismissively. I was not a child that needed to be looked after and I wasn't too suicidal. I would be fine.

"Jeanette" he said impatiently.

"I am staying with Tiffany" I said shortly.

"No your not" Michael said with irritation.

"You can't control me Michael. I'm not a puppet." I growled.

"If you don't listen to me there will be consequences" he yelled.

"Fuck your consequences" I said shouted.

"Wow. Guys, people are getting concerned with all this damn noise." Martin said as he busted into the room.

"Sorry, Marty but someone is being difficult" Michael said glaring at me. Then the doctor appear behind Martin and asked to move aside so he could get in.

"Jeanette, Someone is here to see you?" the doctor said.

"Who?" I asked and then he went to the door so he could motion someone in and it was the first person on my hit list. My mother. Immediately upon seeing her the machine I was hooked up to started to beat loudly like a siren. My blood boiled and I sent a glare her way.

"Jeanette please calm down" The doctor said calmly.

"Can you please escort this woman out?" I said irritated.

"But Jeanette-" my mother started to say but the doctor stopped her and motioned her out. There was bad blood between us and I wasn't in the mood. I was never really in the mood to talk to her. My father along with my mother were the main reason for my cutting.

"Jeanette what the hell was that? She's your mother" Martin said confused.

"Martin please let that slide. I don't really want to explain any of that right now." I said as rubbed my face.

"Fine." Martin said uneasy while Michael just studying me.

"Anyway since I'm staying here what will you guys do tonight " I said trying to change the atmosphere.

"Well we're suppose to go to this fancy party to celebrate the deal and build some relationships with other writers. But if you want we can stay here with you." Martin said as he came to sit next to me.

"Hell no you guys should go. Dress up in some fancy suits, eat as much food as you can, and dance the night away. I'll stay here alone" I said.

"I don't feel comfortable leaving you here" Michael said uneasy.

"I'll be around doctors and nurses nothing can happen to me" I said in a reassuring tone.

"Come on Michael. It will be so much fun" Martin said excited.

"And you could bring me back some fancy ass food." I said with the same excitement.

"I'll sneak some in to go boxes" Martin said to me.

"You two are idiots." Michael said rolling his eyes.

"Fine" Michael sighed.

"Get going then" I said and motioned for them to leave. Martin hugged me, Michael gave me an awkward wave and then they left. I fell a sleep for a couple of hours and then woke up. When I woke up all the loss before struck me. I didn't know what to for a while so I just cried. Then I got the idea. I asked the nurse to help me hook up my phone to the TV and to bring me something. The show I was watching lifted my mood a little. Around the 10th episode Michael appeared.

"What are you doing here?" I said confused as I shut the TV .

"The people were annoying me." Michael said and went to sit on my edge of my bed.

"But wasn't this a good opportunity to get writers?" I asked

"That's why Martin's out networking. They don't really need me that much" Michael said with a shrug.

"So what were you watching? I heard you laughing all the way from the hall" he said and when I didn't answer he took the remote and opened the tv back up. The show was still playing.

"Why Adventure Time?" he questioned.

"I use to watch it with my Grandpa. We had some good times." I explained a little embarrassed. Then he scooted me over to the other side of my bed. He made himself comfortable, put his arm around me and looked up at the tv.

"What are you doing?" I asked and started to turn to look at him but he made me lay my head on his shoulder.

"I'm gonna watch too" he said and started to stroke my hair.

"Why?"

"Because I wanna watch TV" he chuckled.

"We can watch something else if you want." I suggested.

"No I like this show. My favorite character is peppermint butler"he said proudly.

"Why him?"

"That guy is strange as hell and has a lot of mystery to him. What about you?" he said.

"I'm a Marceline fan"

"Why her? Why not bubble gum or the flame princess" he asked.

"She sings like an angel and she's a total bad ass."

"Angel and badass remind's me of someone" he teased

"Shut up and watch." I said through a smile.

"Where did you get the popcorn?" he said confused.

"Slipped the nurse a 5" I said casually.

"You're such an idiot. Marty and I could have brought you popcorn" he laughed.

"I would be just another inconvenience to this trip" I said whispered.

"You were never an inconvenience to begin with" he said in a soft voice. Then I lifted my head to look at him. He looked sincere in his answer. He was starting to move closer to my lips but moved my head back to the TV.

"Anyway... this popcorn is really good. That nurse knew what the hell she was doin" I said and ate other piece.

He laughed. This is the first time I've heard him laugh up close and it made my heart jump. I wished this moment would last forever but I knew it would end at some time.

We stayed up really late until I fell asleep in his arms. They were warm and soft. It felt like he was never gonna let me go. The next morning I was awaken by Michael stroking my hair. I didn't look up. I didn't open my eyes. I just enjoyed our moment.

"Wow I see you two are getting cozy with each other" I heard Martin say. Then my eyes flung open.

"Marty, did you forget how to knock on doors?" Michael said annoyed.

"Yes. Do you wanna teach me?" Martin mocked.

"Marty get out" Michael snapped.

"Nah I think Martin should stay." As broke free from his hold on me. I held the back of my hospital gown because it was open.

"Did you bring my stuff?" I said to Martin.

"All here" he said and handed me my bag.

"Thank you" I said happily.

I went to the bathroom to change and got into some comfortable clothes. Sweat pants, a white tee and tied my hair up in a messy bun. Once I was finished we left the hospital to go to our hotel. It was like 1 in the afternoon.

We went to a new hotel probably because they were cleaning the crime scene I left on the fucking floor.

"I need to take a shower" I signed and went to the bathroom. Once I got out Martin and Michael were waiting near the door.

"Come on, we have places to get to" Michael said and wrapped his arm around my waist. Martin's reaction was a smirk.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I tried to move away from him but he didn't budge.

"Well there is a funfair and I convinced Michael to take us. Plus I want cotton candy." Martin said excited.

"Don't you have to take a shower?" I asked.

"I used Martin's" Michael said.

"Hurry the hell up before all the cotton candy is gone or Imma have to start messing up some people to make the line shorter." Martin warned. I laughed.

"He's not kidding let's go" Michael chuckled and motioned for me to come with.

The fair looked extravagant. I fell in love with the scenery.

We got Martin's cotton candy and he ate it in 1 minute. Michael and I got popcorn and we started to walk around. Martin went from ride to ride and coxed me and Michael to try them. We went on the fairest wheel, rollercoaster, and so much more. The day quick faded into dark and it was more beautiful.

Martin had to go to the bathroom, so we waited up for him. Then a question swiftly crossed my mind.

"Michael, why are you doing this? Is this some type of pity thing because if it is I'm fine. I'm not that fragile that you need to act like you are enjoying my company." I whispered.

"No I just wanted to do something nice Jeanette" Michael said and started to get closer but a voice stopped him.

"JEANETTE" a familiar voice from behind us said. It was men.

"Jeanette is that you?" the voice said closer and I turned to finally face him.

"Adam" I said surprised and he gave a quick hug. I could feel Michael's eyes staring at my every move.

"What are you doing here?" I said breaking the hug.

"I'm just coming from a concert I just performed in one of the tents." he said and held up his instrument.

"I'm sorry I missed it" I said.

"It's fine. Did you fulfill your dream of being the best writer in America?" he asked.

"Nah. I think that dream's taking a back seat" I said

"Too bad you were really good." he said.

"Thanks" I said and blushed.

"Excuse me, but who are you?" Michael snapped from behind me. I moved to the side so Adam could see Shaw.

"Adam Randal and you?" Adam said and stretched his arm out for Michael to shake it but Michael just looked at it.

"Jeanette's husband, Michael Shaw" my jealous FAKE husband said and pulled me to him.

"Wow Jeanie! You got married. I always thought you would come back to me because of my sexy accent" he said.

"I guess not" I said with an uneasy laugh.

"Where's your ring?" Adam asked looking at my hand.

"It's... getting resized." I said with a shrug.

"Well if your in the city long. We should hang out?" Adam said with his flirty.

"Of course" I said.

"Okay meet me at our old spot tomorrow around 3"

"Sure. Bye Adam" I said and then broke free from Michael's grip.

"It was really good seeing you" Adam said and kissed me on the cheek. Then he left.

When I turned back, Michael looked like he was going to kill someone.

"Who was that guy flirting with Jeanette?" Martin said behind Michael.

"That's what I'd like to know" Michael said sharply.

"Well he was... a friend" I played dumb and kept my eyes wondering to not look at them.

"Woman you know you're lying. That man was not a friend. It looked like he was undressing you with his eyes" Martin amused and that caused Michael to jab him in the side.

"Ow" Martin said and glared at Michael.

"Jeanette we obviously know that's not true. Who the hell was he?" Michael demanded with a raised eyebrow.

"Well it wasn't much of a relationship. Just a little kissing here and there" I whispered.

"And everywhere" Martin said with an evil smirk.

"Shut up Marty" Michael threatened.

"Fine. I'll get my answer later B" Martin said playfully with a shrug.

"I want my answer now." Michael pestered.

"Well we had this thing and then it ended when I left." I said.

"So he was your boyfriend?" Michael accused.

"Yea... but it wasn't anything serious" I said

"Well you're not on a date with him" he said shorty.

If I did go.... would that be bad?