I make my way back to the changeroom with the rest of the guys and just gather my things, preparing myself to go home. I can't stand both of those idiots right now and my life would be so much easier if they weren't here. I try and keep my head down not making conversation with anyone so I can leave as quick as possible.

When walking out a few guys stop to talk to me and ask me dumb questions like whose ass looks better in their football gear, all just teasing me and saying now that I am finally single they can ask me things like that again.

Being open at school has never been a huge issue to be honest. A lot of people my age now identify as bi or just experiment and I think its great! So these type of comments don't bother me in the slightest since I know they are all just banter and meaningless. I finally manage to break away from the conversation and exit the room.

When I enter the hallway, I'm met with a bloody looking Braden who is holding his eye seeming pissed off. He blocks my way of leaving and I stand their in shock. How many times is Clay gonna beat this guy up? I almost feel bad at this point. I mean he didn't harm me in anyway right? I don't know why I feel partially guilty. But I try my best to remind myself that this has been the manipulative asshole that has been causing me pain for so long. After a couple of seconds of just glaring at each other, I hear a voice come from behind us and a hand clap down on Braden's shoulder, "remember what we talked about buddy" he whispers into his ear by crouching down from behind him, the words just barely audible for me to hear.

And with that, Braden pushes past me and enters the change room, not muttering a single word to me. I stand there deep in thought, what the fuck just happened? Did Clay seriously get him to back off. If so I owe him the biggest thanks, even though I wont really tell him that.

When I lift my eyes to meet his, he has this dumb grin on his face. I search his face for any bruises or marks but fall short. How does he look so perfect when Braden looks like that? Well no I didn't mean perfect just no marks and stuff you know? Not perfect.

"What the hell happened in there" I ask irritated.

He shrugs, "I don't know what you're talking about" he utters, his big grin saying otherwise. I roll my eyes and fix my bag on my shoulder getting ready to walk away. I'm done playing his stupid games, so I'll just act like his dumb actions don't cause any reaction out of me. I know he wants me to continue asking just for him to gloat in my face about how badly he beat him up and how he did it all for me but I dismiss it completely by choosing to walk away.

"Alright well see you tomorrow!" I casually let out, giving him a wave in the process.

"At least wait for me!" he lets out disheveled.

"Why would I do that?" I pivot now walking backwards.

"Because I just saved you?" He drags out the words as if it wasn't the most obvious thing on the planet.

I furrow my brows in his direction, "no one asked you to do that" I pause in my tracks, "and you didn't save me nothing was even happening". So what now this idiot thinks he's fucking prince charming?

"Well I mean he was trying to manipulate you and would of probably succeeded since you're such an idiot" he fights back defensively.

I raise an eyebrow and let my tongue swipe the inside of my cheek. This motherfucker did not just say that. "I'm sorry Clay? Was this not the response you were looking for?" I make my way towards him and stand directly in front of him. I look up and make a sarcastic pouting face in his direction, "what? were you expecting me to drop to my knees in front of you and thank you?" I tap the side of his cheek and his face goes red. Wow, for once I make Clay go red. "Well sorry to disappoint, but that will never happen" I drop my sarcastic act and replace it with a devilish smile, not hiding my satisfaction after managing to pull that reaction out of him.

I turn around and start walking out.

"Oh trust me George, I always get what I want" he mumbles from behind me.

He wants that? Clay wants that?!

"Wait you want?... that" I turn back around to where he was previously standing but am met with nothing other than the changeroom door slowly closing, causing me to trail off.

What the fuck just happened? Clay admitted to wanting that? He wants to see me on my knees.

Well too bad that would never happen in a million years. If anything he would get on his knees for me. Not the other way around.

I make my way outside finally and start my car ready to head home.

My mind is spiraling replaying those words over and over. He didn't really mean that did he? I mean he hates me. Why would he want that. Perhaps to hold over me? To see me at my most vulnerable.

Unlucky for him that he has made me hate him so much, or else he would have potentially gotten the chance. But not anymore.

As I'm driving my phone vibrates in my pocket. I'll answer it later its fine. But what if its Clay? Maybe he will elaborate on what he said.

My curiosity gets the best of me and I pull out my phone, silently praying its Clay for some reason.

My face falls when the notification reads 'Mom'.

I groan and decide I shouldn't text and drive so I'll answer later. Why was I hoping it was him?

What is wrong with me.

When I get home my mom greets me for the first time in awhile. I guess that's what she was texting me about, giving me a heads up that she will make dinner instead of me having to order some.

"George!" She exclaims her bright smile already brightening my mood. She dusts off her apron and rushes towards me, opening her arms wide to welcome me into a huge hug. "Hey mom, I wasn't expecting to see you" I say into her shoulder, my happiness apparent in my voice. I love having company around the house every once in awhile, it gets lonely.

"I texted you did you not see it?" She pulls away and walks back to the kitchen where she previously was, busying herself with cooking.

"No I was driving" I say putting my backpack down on one of the seats.

"Smart boy" she smirks and looks in my direction, continuing to whisk away whatever contraction she's making. I give her a genuine smile in return, slumping down into one of the chairs and just enjoying her company all together.

"How long are you staying?" I ask curiously, my chin resting on my hand.

"Only for a few hours" she replies nonchalantly.

"That's it?" I ask, it being quite evident in my tone that I am disappointed by her response.

She finishes up with what she was doing and gives me an apologetic look, "look George I miss you lots too but work has been extremely busy at the moment." She grabs some plates and starts setting the table, "besides, I made your favourite, pancakes!"

I don't even like pancakes anymore, but its not like she would know anything about my life. It used to be my favourite back in the U.K. I try my best to be grateful anyway for the gesture, even though it has made me even more sad in the process. "Thanks mom" I mumble.

We sit there for awhile, sharing stories about our school life and work life, catching up on what we have missed. Its like she doesn't even live here anymore. And I'm scared my loneliness will only grow since Braden is no longer around. I fill her in about the breakup but of course, spare the details. I tell her that we just didn't work anymore and that he was too preoccupied with football.

I inform her about the big game Saturday. "I'm so happy you're getting back out there George!" She flashes me a smile. "I'll try my best to come Saturday, I know you'll impress those scouts"

I've heard that before so I try to not get my hopes up. I know that the game will be the last thing on her mind that day, and that she will most likely not be there. It stings but you get used to it after awhile.

I've learned over the years to expect the worst to avoid disappointment.

We finish up and she leaves once again. Leaving me alone in this huge ass house. Fortunately, she made me lunches for the next few days so I guess that's one less thing to worry about.

I pick up my phone for the first time since my mom has arrived and check the time. It is now 8:00 pm.

I feel exhausted after the day I've had. Having to fake being okay gets tiring. I finally allow myself to sit in a position that doesn't hurt as much. The bruises and back pain making me incredibly sore, and a constant reminder of previous events. Playing today only decreased my mood. I did awful and no one knows why.

Well other than Clay and Braden.

Just the thought of Clay makes my stomach flutter as I think back to what he had said. Did he really mean it? Or was it just something he said in the moment to get under my skin. To get this sort of reaction out of me. And if I'm being honest with myself, would I really hate that? I mean the only reason I wouldn't is cause he would constantly use that against me. It would be humiliating being on my knees for him.

But what if the roles were reversed? What if he was the one to submit to me and I could try topping for once. I cringe at the idea, knowing I've never been one for being a top, maybe a power bottom, but I can't even picture myself as a top.

Why am I thinking so hard about this? Should I just text him and ask him if he meant it?

NO. I can't do that. That's exactly what he wants. Then he'll know the rise he has caused out of me over some dumb comment.

I stare at the ceiling for what feels like hours, contemplating back in forth if I should just ask him. I fear my curiosity will get the best of me.

I pick up my phone and press on his contact. I find myself reading previous texts and smiling at them.

I huff and type out a message. Maybe I can make it teasingly so he doesn't think I actually care about it?

Me : Do you really want to see me on my knees? Cause that will never happen by the way so-

I stop and delete it. Why do I sound like I'm over analyzing some dumb words? I let out a frustrated groan. Let's try this again.

Me : I can't believe you imagine me sucking you off. God that's pathetic.

I bite my nails before pressing send. Should I? Is that too forward. I mean it looks like I'm making fun of him so I'm sure its fine.

Fuck it.

Send.

I sent it.

I SENT IT.

Oh my God why did I do that? That's so weird.

I throw my phone across the room. I can never go on my phone again. Its fine. I feel tired anyway, I'll just go to bed. Yup I'm gonna go to sleep. I close my eyes and lie down on the couch.

*Ding*

I immediately sprint to my phone and pick it up, my hands trembling. Why am I so nervous? I always tease Clay like this.

Dumbass Prick : Its almost nine and you're still thinking about that?

This is exactly what I didn't want. For fuck sake why did I send that?

Me : No I just find it amusing that you claim to hate me.

I don't know what to say. That was a dumb response. That was so dumb.

Dumbass Prick : I do hate you

Okay maybe he is as flustered as me. Or maybe he was joking and what he said was a joke and now I'm overanalyzing it and he's gonna be like why is he so weird it was a joke to get him flustered?

Fuck I'm overthinking.

Dumbass Prick : That's why it would be that much more satisfying seeing you like that for me.

My jaw drops. So I wasn't overthinking? What the hell do I respond to that. That's disgusting. I can't believe he would imagine me like that.

Me : Well keep imagining Clay, because that would never happen. I hate you.

Dumbass Prick : Yet you wanted me to fuck you at the party.

I feel my heart racing through my chest.

Me : Again, I was drunk.

Dumbass Prick : So what if I said I want to come over right now?

Is he serious? No he has to be playing some sick game. Would I want that? Obviously not, no I hate him.

A few minutes pass and I still haven't answered. I just sit there staring at my phone. I see the three little dots appear again.

Dumbass Prick : Oh, so you do want that

I can practically see his dumb smirk from through the screen.

Me : I never said that

Dumbass Prick : But you didn't say no

Me : Well no

Dumbass Prick : I'm on my way

Is he serious? Wait no I look like shit, I feel like shit. No this can't be happening right now. I feel like I'm gonna explode from the nerves building up.

Me : Actually?

Dumbass Prick : You seem excited

Me : I'm not

Dumbass Prick : Well do you want me to or not. Last chance.

Me : Ok

I try to seem casual but I'm screaming inside right now.

Dumbass Prick : You are too easy George. If only you weren't still sore, then maybe.

Dumbass Prick : Get some sleep pretty boy

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM" I scream out. Is he serious? Like actually serious?

And why was I getting excited? And WHY did I let him think I wanted him over.

Holy fuck I knew he was just playing with me.

Me : Fuck you

I type out in rage.

Dumbass Prick : ;)

I hate him. Why does he make me feel every emotion ever?

But do I actually hate him anymore? Or do I hate the way he makes me feel.