Everything was cold and uncomfortable when you woke up. It almost felt like... like you were chained up again in the interrogation room. Your brain catches up and your eyes snap open. You immediately look down and gasp at the sight of the metal restraints around your wrists and ankles. Why were you here? Why would Kylo do this to you again? Kylo. Your heart shatters into pieces and it felt as though your galaxy was momentarily slowing down. Everything he had told you was a lie. Kylo Ren was a lie. It was just as Snoke had said; a child in a mask. He was Ben Solo. Your Ben Solo. The boy everyone told you was dead. The boy who broke your heart and left you behind. How could he do this to you?

You flinch as the door to the interrogation room slides open. There he was. He was walking into the room without his mask on. The face of the boy you thought was dead stood out to you clearer than ever before. Every beauty mark on his peach skin was just where you remembered them. His full, pink lips looked just as soft as the last time you had seen him. There were only two differences now. The horrible black scar that ran down his face and the look in his eyes. Gone were the eyes of a curious, happy young man who ran his mouth too much and always seemed to have a joke. They were replaced by eyes filled with pain, hatred, and sorrow. They weren't the eyes you knew.

Kylo stops in front of you. Ben stops in front of you. You didn't even know what to call him. Well, you could think of one thing. "Monster."

He flinches. "I deserve that."

His voice was nearly enough to make you melt at his feet. It was deep and smooth. You force yourself to stay strong. "You deserve everything that's coming to you. You're a liar. How could you do this to me? Ben..."

"Don't call me that." Kylo snaps as he reaches for the button to unlock your restraints.

You slowly get down from the leaning metal plate, your eyes trained on him. "I thought you were dead. Everyone told me you were dead. You told me you were dead. You left me." Your voice was beginning to grow louder. "You left me behind at the burning Temple. I thought you were killed in the accident."

He shifts. "I... I caused the accident. That was me. Didn't you ever stop to wonder why you were the only one that survived? I spared you."

"How generous." You scoff. "You broke my heart. I abandoned everything I knew because of you. And now I find out that you're alive and you've been masquerading as some dark lord? You ripped me away from my life twice!"

"I did what I had to do."

A beat. Then everything explodes around you. You storm angrily towards him and before you can stop yourself, your hand goes flying. You deliver a sharp slap right across his face, sending him stumbling back and hitting the wall from the sheer force. Kylo's full lips part as he stares at you, his chest heaving. His leather-encased fingers graze the throbbing red mark you had left on his cheek.

"I hate you!" You scream as tears pour down your face. The pain brewing inside of you was unimaginable. "You're a liar! You're a monster! Fuck you! You tore everything I had away from me! I sacrificed everything because you made me believe you were dead! And you have the audacity to pluck me off Canto Bight all these years later to take me in as your apprentice? Are you kriffing kidding me?" You shove him hard, slamming him back against the wall. Kylo had gone completely silent. "Y-You slept with me! And you don't give a damn! You don't give a flying fuck about me or my life!"

This seemed to strike a nerve. Kylo catches you by the wrist. "Why do you think I got you back? The Force connected us and I stopped at nothing to get you back! What I did was necessary!"

You rip free and slam your fist against his chest, looking furiously up into his honey-brown eyes. It was still hard to grasp onto the fact that he was really here. Ben was really here standing in front of you. The boy you loved was alive and now all you could do was hate him with every bone in your body. "Necessary? What you did was cruel! I loved you, Ben!" Your voice cracks with emotion. "I loved you with all of my heart and you tore it out and stomped on it! I-I'm leaving. I'm going back to Canto Bight and I'm forgetting you! I hate you!"

You gasp as Kylo grabs you painfully as you turn to leave. "You're not going anywhere! I can't lose you too!" He roars.

"Let go of me!" You struggle to break free, slamming your hand weakly against his strong chest. "Let me go! I hate you! I hate you! Do you hear me? I wish you really were dead!"

With a roar of anger, Kylo pushes you away from him. From the force of the push, you stumble and fall back, your head connecting with the edge of the metal plate. Pain explodes in the back of your head. You hug your knees to your chest and sob into your arms, overwhelmed by your emotions and the sudden pain he had caused you.

"Pet..." his voice softens considerably as he squats beside you. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." He wraps his muscular arms around you. "Forgive me. Butterfly?"

"GET OFF OF ME!" You scream, shoving him away with the strength you had left. "I don't want to see you again!"

Kylo could only watch from the ground as you rise to your feet and storm off, the sound of your uncontrollable sobbing fading away. His fists curl up and he gets up, his hand lowering to the place his lightsaber was hanging on his belt. Kylo's shoulders begin to heave and he angrily stalks around the circular room. With a furious yell, he ignites the crackling plasma blade and slashes it through the metallic walls, creating a flurry of sparks and hot gashes as the saber screeches. After relieving at least some of his stress, Kylo scoops up his mask and storms down the corridor. The Stormtroopers and officers spring to the sides to avoid his path of rage and destruction. Everyone knew that getting in the way of Kylo Ren while he was angry was a fatal decision.

He steps into the empty elevator and presses his lips together, swallowing hard. Kylo was trembling both from the anger and the pain. He was terrified of losing you and hurt by your words. He knew what he had done was wrong in so many ways, but in his eyes it was justifiable. Kylo slowly looks down at the mask in his hand. That horrible thing had caused him so much trouble. So much anguish over the years. 'Creature in a mask, 'child in a mask,' 'monster,' and so many more horrible words just for him.

Kylo grits his teeth and with a grunt, he winds up and slams the helmet into the elevator wall with all of his might. He pauses for just a moment, before pulling back and repeatedly banging it into the wall until it crumbles beneath his grip and falls to the ground in a smoldering pile. Kylo turns on his heel as the door slides open and storms down the hallway towards your room. He quickly puts in the code upon reaching your door and finds you on the floor in tears, stuffing your clothes into your bags.

"What are you doing?" He grumbles.

"What's it look like?" You snap back, furiously wiping the tears from your face. "I'm leaving."

"I won't let you." Kylo starts over to you and hoists you up from the ground with ease. "Stay with me. I'm not going to hurt you again. I promise."

You shudder and sob into his chest. "Let go... please..."

"Never." He presses his full lips together, resting his head on your chin. He had to admit this affection was strange for him. Affection was something he had been lacking for quite a while now. "I'll never let you go again, Butterfly."

"Ben..."

Kylo's eye twitches and you feel him getting tense. "That's not my name anymore. Ben Solo is dead. I destroyed him... just like my father."

You pull away in disbelief. "W-What? Han Solo-"

"Is dead." Kylo finishes for you. He cups your face in his gloved hands, wiping the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. "It's just us now. Once Luke Skywalker is dead, you'll be free. Both of us will be free."

"How could you kill your father with no remorse? How could you lie to me without a single drop of guilt? How could you fuck me and not feel anything? It was you the entire time-"

He scowls. "What, would it have been different had you known it was me? Would you regret those nights together?"

"It would be different," you argue. "Everything would be different, Ben-"

"Don't call me that!" Kylo snarls.

You push his hands away and throw your own in the air incredulously. How could one man be so stubborn? So impossible? Everything seemed to make sense now. The Force bond, why he didn't want to take off the mask, and why he never gave you the answers you deserved. He was scared. He was hiding from the truth because he knew you would see him differently. What he did was wrong and he knew that. It was in that moment that it struck you. This man was not the same person you knew all those years ago. That reality hurt more than when you hit your head on those restraints.

The person you used to know was Ben Solo. Ben Solo was fearless and flawed. He was funny, charming, and was the only person who could make you laugh when you were feeling down. Ben Solo was aware of his emotions and he didn't bottle them up. He laughed with you and you remembered a night when he cried with you. He was the person you scrubbed those damned steps with much too often. He teased you and made fun of you, but it was never mean. That Ben Solo was still deep down inside the man standing before you. Kylo Ren was just a cold shell he used to keep people out. He was a mask just like the one he wore. You could see the vulnerability in Kylo's eyes. It was hidden away, but it was there.

You hesitantly reach out to touch him, as if making sure he was really there. Kylo recoils from your touch for just a moment, before slowly accepting your hands on his face. With trembling fingers, you cup his warm face. He still felt the same. Strangely soft skin that couldn't seem to sprout stubble. Kylo meets your eyes and his lips part. He grabs the sides of your face without warning, slamming his lips against yours. You couldn't seem to pull away no matter how angry you were. Why was it so difficult to say no to this man? Kylo's tongue brushes against your lip and his hands begin to slide down from your face. He groans softly into your mouth as his hand dips into the waist of your pants. Now it was time to say no.

"B-" you catch yourself, stopping his hands from wandering further. "-Kylo. I-I can't do this right now. I need some time. Please just... give me some time."

He pulls away. He so desperately wanted to order you onto your knees just like he could before. But this wasn't one of those times anymore. Kylo didn't even know if things were going to be the same between you two. If you would even listen to those orders. He sighs. "Whatever you want. I'll be in my quarters."

Truthfully you didn't know how long it would take you to adjust to the fact that Ben was alive. You didn't know if anything was going to be the same anymore. Little did you know, Kylo shared the same concerns. As he returns to his quarters, his mind was racing. He wasn't expecting you to push him away, but he understood. It was a lot to take in. Kylo hoped you would eventually let him in, but he wasn't sure. One thing was for sure; he needed a drink.