I hate myself for loving you

Mysterious POV

What the fuck is wrong with you huh?!

Stupid ass heart, why the fuck are you doing this to me?! Why are you leading me to the dark side?

Why do you want me to fall in love with someone i can't have? I can't believe i'm so fucking fast in having a goddamn crush.

But, she's so perfect- her shining eyes, her pink lips, her beautiful body... The way she talks drives me crazy, the way she walks makes me drool

And when she argued in the tavern....oh man, i nearly got aroused. Her reaction, so damn sassy. She didn't even stutter, she spitted words without batting an eye. And her voice, it sounded so confident and yet all she did was saying a few words.

She's such a woman! A real woman.

Such a fierce person is hiding under that kind and gentle girl facade. I can read her, she isn't a normal girl, she's so much more than that.

Her faking is so good, but i'm no fool and i know that her behaviour isn't real.

She needs to keep her well mannered appearance to gain trust and friends. But i can see through that: she just needs time.

Time to get comfortable, time to understand what to say and who to talk to. Time to see who to trust.

I can't wait to see her bloom, to see her real side, not the awkward newbie's one.

I know she's a different person from what we saw. I want her to be comfortable with me, i want her to be real with me, i want her to be mine...

I will gain her trust and i will win her heart. If only i could...

But i fucking can't, i already have competition which is not some dumbass from the streets. It's the fucking emperor that is also one of my closest friends. I have no possibilities at all, yet i don't feel like giving up. I don't want to give up.

I've never felt like this before, what if i'll never feel that anymore? What if i will never find true love? And what if i already found it?

Why are you doing this to me!?! I pray you Gods, please don't play games with my life. Don't play with my heart, feelings and emotions!

I want her so bad. I want to see her, to talk to her, to be able to touch her...

I want to go to her room and tell her that i've never seen someone like her and that even the little time we spent together made my mind be all over her.

I can't focus anymore, i need a distraction.

I can't even guard properly tonight... She is so close yet so far from me.

They tell the truth when they say that the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.

Should i risk it? Should i give up?

Maybe Giorno isn't even in love with her.

Maybe i still have a chance.

Maybe there's another reason for her appearance and Giorno's madness.

For now, i'll just keep dreaming of her silently. I'll keep looking at her from a certain distance, thinking of how to win her over.