Devil's Eyes by Hippie Sabotage "You've got the devil in your eyes, you went and took me by surprise; say what you wanna say I won't go back"

Jay,

I've struggled on whether I should write you these past five years. Every time I'd try to, I would stop. I know wherever you are, it's where you're supposed to be. The day you left Earth, was the day I was celebrating new life coming in. That was the beginning of the end for me. The reason I've struggled writing to you is because I didn't know if I needed closure or not. My closure should've been seeing your name on the front page of the paper with the words murdered by it. My closure probably should've been the moment I left your cage and never looked back. Maybe it should've been that night we were in the car and I'm sure we were close to kissing after I cried to you that you ruined our "friendship."But, I realized now everything ended the way it was supposed to. That I can only write to you now with a clear mind, free from your restraints and definitely older. I was 18 then, my feelings were confusing especially when my then boyfriend (now husband) came home with a bandage on his arm and his face was stone cold. In the bathroom, I let the silent tears drip down the side of my cheeks as it registered. I lost you for good and I'd have to pretend to your parents I wanted to come to your funeral and support them through this. I thought I missed you and I thought I was wishing for a better outcome for us, even though it meant being distant friends but really I was crying because even while you're dead I was protecting you. I had attached some kind of loyalty to your name since the beginning of high school when we first met. Despite all that you've done to me, I allowed you access to hurt me but I definitely got the last laugh! I have a beautiful husband that I know you hate (even in hell) and my beautiful five year old son, Basilio. I'm a photographer and my husband is a mentor for children. I know now this isn't "closure" for us but my moment to tell my side so I can finally heal. Rest in shit.

Yours Truly, Sage

P.S. your gravestone is really insignificant for all that money your parents have :)

Sage smiled at her letter, knowing she was satisfied with everything she wrote. All her feelings translated on the piece of paper for once.

"You okay?" Ella asked her, she held her peacoat close to her as the wind picked up. Sage didn't immediately answer her, instead she bent down and placed the letter in the hole she dug by Jay's gravestone and threw the dirt back on top. She stood up and looked towards her best friend.

"Yeah, let's go home to the boys, shall we?"

"Yeah let's." Ella hooked her arm with Sage's and led the way back to the car. The two were ready to go back to their respective husbands, Dave and Aubrey and their respective children, Basilio and Ella's two year old, Jonathan.