Kindred I by Kelsey Lu "Life stuck on drift days)

In the moon and up the street, I feel it

I feel it"

Her time alone was spent thinking about all of her relationships, good or bad. She missed the security of Dave's arms and the way that he was so loving towards her. She missed her best friend because she was always supporting her and by her side no matter what. They went through all stages of life together up until this point. She even missed her parents, as annoying as they were, the last time they interacted was not how she wanted to leave. She didn't have closure with anyone in her life, she just left the house not thinking it was going to be the last time.

She had nights where she was numb to any kind of crying but she would stay up, not getting any sleep. Other nights, all she did was cry herself to sleep. It was all a rollercoaster of emotions to the point where she was tired of feeling bad for herself, but it was hard considering her situation.

"You up?" Steven asked her. She didn't even hear him open the door but she shot up anyways. Her curls were tangled and oily, placed into a high bun on top of her head but even in this state she was beautiful to him. "I have to talk to you." It had to be late morning, early afternoon but Sage couldn't tell. There weren't any clocks and she hasn't had her phone since she was kidnapped but she also didn't care to keep up with the time.

"About what?" She pushed back against the backboard, waiting for him to talk.

He sat down on the edge of the bed causing it to dip and held up a white and round pill between his fingers. "You know what this is?"

"An aspirin? I don't know..."

"It's mifeprex, to get rid of your baby." Her eyes widened and she immediately hopped up out of the bed and snatched it out of his hands. "Why the fuck would I take this?"

"Whoa, calm down!" He groaned, "That's what I was trying to talk to you about."

"Okay so shoot! The fuck did you expect me to think? I'm thinking you wanna shove a pill down my throat." He shook his head regretting how he started the conversation. Honestly, he didn't know how he'd start a conversation with her anyways, no matter what it was supposed to entail. Talking to her was difficult because she didn't trust him. In the back of her head was his accomplice

"Well, I planned on asking if you were going to keep the baby but I'm guessing you are. I was supposed to put this in your drink or food or something..."

"...But you gave it to me as a choice. Got it," She finished for him as she began to discern the situation at hand. "But why? Wouldn't your higher ups find out when I'm still pregnant? Why are you doing this for me?"

"Number one, I'm catholic--"

"Wow, you're God's favorite child."

"And I won't be here for that much longer so it won't be my problem anymore." She raised her eyebrows at him. He purposely left out the fact that his slight crush on her sealed the deal for his plan.

"Thank you." Sage said sincerely.

"You're welcome. I put your food on the dresser." Steven began to walk to the door but she ran after him and stopped him.

"Have you found out anything? Anything about all of this?'

He sighed because he wished he did but all he could answer was vaguely. "All I know is this man knows you and he clearly has beef with whoever you had this baby with." He said the last part pointing to her belly.

"Okay." She nodded. "Thanks again." She was supposed to be mad at him for taking part in this grand idea to hold her hostage but she'll thank anyone that saves her baby.

"Good luck," he said solemnly and with that he put the key in the door and headed out. The last thing he said replayed in her head: he clearly has beef with whoever you had this baby with. The only person that came to mind was...Jay. Things were starting to all make sense now.

***

Dr. Union was perched on the edge of her desk with legs crossed as she listened to Aubrey confess his feelings for Ella. She never saw him so open and vulnerable before and it sparked some curiosity.

"Do you think you might protect Ella to the point where it becomes unhealthy or virulent for your relationship and her well being?" She poised.

"I guess..." He said trying to recollect all the times they ended up in fights --both physical and verbal--that stemmed from his need for control. However, his need for control came from the mindset that he knew best because he did. Ella and Sage were younger and more naive to the world around them and the life he lived exposed to more.

"How so? As soon as you acknowledge the behavior it's easier for us to reform."

"I guess when I raise my voice or -- I raise my voice a lot less lately though..."

"Hmm, that shows signs of patience. I'm glad you're able to recognize progress," She said, setting her iPad down and walking back to sit in her chair in front of him, "As humans, noting our steps forward helps us reach goals and maintain focus. So, when you raise your voice at her, what do you feel afterwards?"

"Definitely mixed emotions like sometimes I'm justified but most times I feel guilty." He always knew he had these sentiments whenever they argued but he never spoke them out loud. Venting and navigating feelings with Dr. Union helped conceptualize the root of his issues and the process he should take to improve himself.

"Justified because you're protecting her, right? Sometimes when we do things for others they view it differently. Earlier when you were talking about your feelings for Ella you mentioned she'll be complaining but you love her anyways, what's one thing she complains about when you order her to do something for her safety's sake?"

"She'll say when I tell her to do something without reason she feels degraded and leaves her in the dark where she gets answers elsewhere and not from me," he professed.

"Are her feelings reasonable too?" She pressed.

"Yeah...I could see how they are."

"It's more efficient to practice a compromise in a partnership, whether it's platonic or romantic, so all parties are understanding. So, for example if you think you're telling her something beneficial for herself or anyone involved, let her ask the questions and answer them directly and truthfully. That prevents her from feeling like you're the controlling parent or the owner to a dog."

He began to mull over what she said, even if it wasn't something he was good at right away he was willing to try it and implement it in his actions. "Maybe, I can be very rigid."

"Diplomacy can work well with people closest to you. And Aubrey?"

"Yeah?"

"You should open up to her a bit more so she can ask less," she added. He nodded at her, putting that in his mental note. Aubrey stood up once the alarm signaled the end of their session and thanked her once again for a helpful discourse. In the midst of all the chaos, he had his calm.

Endnote: How do you feel about Aubrey in therapy? We know Jay is a psycho but did you guys know he would be this crazy? What are your thoughts on everyone else? Talk to me!