And here we have my favorite chapter so far. It was so fun to write and we finally get to see Agarwaen let down her guard a little bit. I hope you enjoy it!!

~~~~~~~~~~

"So," Bofur began, already on his third mug of mead. "How many pints does it take to get an elf drunk?"

"It differs depending on age and bloodline. Some don't ever seem to get drunk, and others pass out after a few rounds."

"And which one are you?" Fili smirked.

"I'll never tell."

"You might not have to. You don't seem the type to turn down a competition, so how about you and me have a go? First one to quit loses."

"Fili..." Thorin said in a scolding tone.

"What?"

"I know for a fact that you won't quit, even if you've already had twenty rounds."

"What dwarf would?" Fili argued.

"Don't blame me if you throw up your entire stomach later. And don't tell your mother." Thorin sighed, honestly wondering how well his nephew would hold his liquor, a very important skill to any dwarf. Agarwaen knew she would lose, but having a drinking competition with a dwarf was something she'd always wanted to do.

"This is the worst decision I could ever make." She said before Bofur hit the table and they were off. Fili downed his first, but that was only half the competition. She swallowed the last of her first mug, and scrunched her face up. This wasn't her first time doing this, but the men usually tapped out after four, and she was left the victor. She knew her limits, and promised herself she'd quit well before getting tipsy around the dwarves. Drinking herself silly isn't something she liked doing. After she woke up the next morning, of course.

After her second, she felt a giant air bubble making its way up, and her face reddened as she tried to ignore it.

"Just let it out lass, show us what you've got!" She belched and covered her face in shame as all the dwarves burst out laughing.

"That's all you've got?" Fili drank half his current mug and let out a massive belch.

After five, she began feeling slightly buzzed, but Fili was still going strong. He flashed an arrogant smirk at her, and she narrowed her eyes at him and motioned for another one.

After seven, she felt the effects a little more, but Fili taunted her again.

"You can't best a dwarf at a game that we basically invented." Thorin rolled his eyes while the other dwarves laughed.

After nine, she was fairly sure that her stomach would burst, and Fili finally started to act a bit drunk.

"Where do you— " She hiccuped, "Put it all—hic—in your tiny little dwarf—hic—bellies?" More laughter bounced around in her head. Fili leaned over the table towards her.

"I don't know." He whispered with a dopey grin.

"You need to stop him." Balin told Thorin quietly.

"I know. But maybe this will be a lesson for him."

"Not for his sake. She's beginning to look a little green."

"She's the one who agreed to it. And besides, this is a side I never expected from any elf. It's rather interesting."

After downing her tenth mug, Agarwaen finally dropped all composure she may have had, and let out the biggest burp she'd ever produced in her life.

"Try that on fer size, blondie." She said with a lopsided grin before laughing at her own words. Fili joined in and accidentally knocked his half-full mug off the table. They looked at each other with wide eyes, then burst out laughing again. As she stared down at her eleventh mug, she had an inkling of a memory. What was it? Something about stopping before she made a fool out of herself? Well, too late for that. She raised the mug to her mouth before feeling an odd feeling in her stomach. It felt like sloshing. Slosh, slosh. It reminded her of that other time she drank too much. Drowning her sorrows in enough ale to fill a horse. Horses. She liked horses. Their hooves made funny clopping noises.

"Are yoush givin' up?" He asked.

"Yoush." She repeated, feeling funny.

"No, you shhh." Fili replied.

"No, you shhh." She said in a whisper before laughing again. As she laughed, the sloshing returned. This time it was higher. So high, she—

"I quit." She said before standing up abruptly and bolting outside.

~~~~~~~~~~

"You did thish to me, Fili Oakennephew." She pointed at Fili upon reentering, wiping her mouth. Kili couldn't help but burst out in laughter at the title. Thorin just watched in amusement, taking a sip of his second mug.

"Me? You're the one who didn't tell us you couldn't hold your mead."

"Oh yeah? Well I'm stupid. The stupidest elf to ever stupid. You should've figured it out for yerself."

"And just how stupid is the stupidest to ever stupid?" Fili asked, sipping a glass of water that Dori had given him.

"Stupid enough to agree to go on this crazy trip with all o' you." She took the water that Dori gave her, and looked down at it as she swirled it around in the cup.

"Aww, we're not that bad, are we lass?" Bofur chimed in, on his seventh drink. She silently looked down at her fingers, and began counting reasons why she hated the company in her head.

"Yes. I think so." She replied. "But I still love you. You're tiny and cute. Bilbo wins, though." She looked around for the hobbit, finding him sitting with Ori, silently observing the scene everyone else was making.

"Don't bring me into this." Bilbo wagged a finger at her. "I like you better sober. Much, much more sober."

"That's why you're my favorite." Agarwaen responded. "So nice and polite." She looked back toward the dwarves, "Maybe you could learn a thing or two from him."

"Your favorite?" cried Kili. "What about me?"

"And me!" Fili added. Agarwaen looked between the brothers.

"You ruined my day with this silly game," She said to Fili, "So I like Kili better." The laughter from the other dwarves at this point had become constant.

Two hours later, still feeling quite tipsy, Agarwaen sang at the top her lungs with the other dwarves, who were still enjoying their drinks. She'd asked for more several times, but each time she was told no. Which only moved those dwarves further down on her favorites list. They'd sung a couple songs of the dwarves choosing, before they finally asked Agarwaen if she knew any. Her face lit up, and she just had to share her favorite drinking song.

Pour your brother one more round

Pick each other off the ground

Let another chorus sound

Pour your brother another round

Draw another draught for me

Drink 'til I'm too blind to see

This one's done, pray, get me three!

Draw another draught for me

Bofur offered her a hand, which she took. He pulled her off her spot on the floor, and they hooked elbows and started to dance rather clumsily.

Pour your brother one more round

Pick each other off the ground

Let another chorus sound

Pour your brother another round

Dance unto the drummer's beat

Drink with everyone you meet

Your head'll dance without your feet

Dance unto the drummer's beat

Mugs were raised with cheers, and finally they reached her favorite verse.

Pour your brother one more round

Pick each other off the ground

Let another chorus sound

Pour your brother another round

Lassies say they never drink

There's scrubbing pots and pans, you think

But they keep the mead below the sink

Lassies say they never drink

As she finished that verse, she grabbed the mug Kili had raised in the air and took a nice long swig. The dwarf let her take it and just doubled over in laughter. After finishing the song, they all cheered and clapped in merriment. This was the most fun Agarwaen had ever had in her life, and she wished it could go on forever.

~~~~~~~~~~

The song is not my own, as I am an absolutely terrible poet and song writer. Full credit for the song goes to Heather Alexander and Philip Obermarck.

You can listen to it here: