Sorry that I disappeared again it seems life keeps throwing me around like a rag doll. My uncle has recently passed away he lost his battle to COVID 19. My uncle, he was my favorite uncle growing up. I would always be so excited to see him when we went to visit him in New York. He was very kind and funny. He is my dad's older brother who took care of my dad when they grew up. He didn't even want to tell us he had Covid 19 cause he didn't want my dad to get worked up since my dad is diabetic.

My dad is devastated even more since we can't even go to my uncle's funeral in New York and we live in Minnesota.

My respect for my uncle is very high. Since before I was born and only a fetus in my mom's stomach and they lived in New York. My dad was badly beaten up in the streets and at the time my dad was an illegal immigrant(now they aren't have gone through all legal process) so he was denied by the hospitals. Even when he had a broken arm. My uncle worked extra jobs to help provide for my dad, mom(and me in the stomach) and my older sister. He even gathered enough money to send my family to Minnesota to get help. As my mother's side of the family is in Minnesota. My dad got the help he needed but my uncle never asked for anything back and when my dad had enough money to pay him back for everything. He told my dad to keep it for the baby(me) to come.

And now he is gone! I just don't understand why? He wasn't that old he was only 45! He has a daughter who is just in elementary after years of trying to have a kid. He was a good man and now we have a portrait of him with candles in front! I wasn't mentally prepared I didn't even get to say goodbye not even over the phone. My dad didn't get to say goodbye to his older brother. I wasn't ready to see my dad break down in front of me. Or see him cry out to his brother.

Just stay home and stay safe please!! It's not just the common flu! It's serious and not something joke around. Many are like, it can't happen to me until it does.

I don't know when I can continue writing I can't even function correctly. I cry my self to sleep every day my last conversation with my uncle was a couple weeks ago. And he was ok and he was video chatting. While eating out of a pot. Saying this is the best plate in the house. More like he didn't want to get up to get a bowl. We all joked around just weeks ago.