As I roll over, I find a piece of paper crinkling under my weight. Joel has left me a note, explaining that he went to the store to get food and something for me to wear. I've only just woken up, so I'm still a little groggy as I skim over his scratchy handwriting.

My face is covered in soot and ash from the fire. I'm definitely looking a bit worse for wear this afternoon, and I'd rather not leave the lasting evidence of what happened at my apartment. I end up taking a lukewarm shower, careful around the burn on my hand.

I hate that I can't contact Joel, but it's probably for the best that I don't have my phone. There's no telling whether or not my old cell might have been bugged, and I want to get far away from the hackers as possible. I have to trust that he'll be fine, even though I'm scared of him being out on his own. Yes, he can handle himself, but after the incident at my apartment, I don't want to take any chances.

I keep myself wrapped in a towel, assessing the old bandage stretched across my palm. I did my best to keep it from getting wet, but eventually, I'm going to have to change it. Admittedly, I'm a little scared. I don't know how bad it is, and frankly, I don't want to find out.

Joel returns carrying two grocery bags, eliminating any of my worries. He kisses me, carrying with him the taste of his favorite gum. "I brought you some clothes. I'm honestly terrible at picking anything out so I'm sorry if it's all hideous. I really did try my best."

I press my lips to his cheek. "Thank you for taking care of me."

"Anything for you, sweetheart."

I end up wearing a t-shirt and leggings. It's nothing overly fashionable, but it's comfortable and fits pretty well. He doesn't complain when I steal one of his sweatshirts, which is definitely not my size. It smells like him, and I can stuff my hands in the sleeves to keep warm.

He gives me a once-over, the corner of his mouth tilted in a smirk. "Would you look at that? My girl is gorgeous."

"I'm your girl?"

"So long as I'm your guy," he replies.

I throw a question over my shoulder as I'm brushing my hair. "So we're going to your sister's place?"

Joel starts to pack his things in his bag, the zipper loud enough to be heard from across the room. "Yeah. Called her this morning. Her name is Mallory. She's excited to meet you, by the way. I should warn you though, she's got two kids and they will probably also be very excited to meet you. They don't bite most of the time."

"You make them sound like wild animals," I say.

"They can be, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

As I'm brushing my teeth, he finishes packing our things, however little we have in the hotel room, and even handles checking out so that I don't have to. He's being sweet, which isn't out of the ordinary, but I know part of it has to do with the fact that he's fussing over me. He wants to take all the pressure off, even though he doesn't have to.

It's a cloudy day, though there's thankfully no rain. The gloomy weather doesn't help my mood any, but I can't let it get to me.

We're out of New York, I remind myself. We're safe.

We're safe.

Safe.

I can't help but wonder if that's really true. Is there any way to be safe knowing what our future might hold? I saw myself holding him at gunpoint, and I heard the trigger being pulled. The odds of me saving him aren't good, especially when I've never managed to save anyone before.

We're safe, but it's temporary.

We're safe, but for how long?

Joel reaches over and squeezes my hand as we drive down the road. "What's up, Vi?"

I try to force myself back into the moment, out of the endless spiral of my thoughts, but I can't. I'm thinking too much again. Every second I spend with him is another chance for my brain to remind me that I'm a danger to him. It's more and more real with every passing second.

"You know how I see the death of everyone I touch?" I say softly.

"Yeah?" The word comes out more like a question.

"When we first met." I swallow the lump in my throat. "When you first shook my hand, I saw your death. And it scared the hell out of me because... because..."

My voice cracks. I can't cry. I've cried so much that I don't have tears to shed, but I also can't speak coherently. I don't know where to go with the sentence. I want to scream the truth, but I can't force the sound out of my mouth.

"Vi." He pulls the car over into the shoulder of the road, unbuckling his seatbelt so he can reach me. "Hey, sweetheart, it's okay. Everyone dies."

"I kill you, Joel!" I exclaim, my words coming out hysterical. "I shoot you in the chest because someone is telling me that I have to pull the trigger. I kill you! I'm the reason you die!"

He freezes, recoiling like I've doused him in ice water. For a second, he just shakes his head like he doesn't believe it. "You wouldn't—"

"I would," I whisper. "I watched myself do it. It's why I tried so hard to avoid you. I couldn't get close to you. I didn't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you."

He clenches his jaw. "You couldn't have mentioned this sooner?"

"What was I supposed to say, Joel?" I demand. "Hey, babe, so I know that we just started dating, but I think it's important that you know I'm going to murder you a few weeks from now."

He's thinking for a second. I know that he's angry. The sweet mood of this morning is long gone, replaced by hostility, by pain. I want to take it back. I want to shove the words back in and forget I ever said them, but I can't. There's no way to do that, no way to erase the horrible truth of what I've done and what I will do.

Suddenly, he throws the car door open and gets out. I watch him start walking, his hands clenched into shaking fists. I can't help but follow. I have to run to catch up, cold air biting into my skin through the thin material of my clothing.

"Joel—"

"I don't know what to say, Vi," he admits, clearly frustrated. "I don't know what to do. I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this. You knew that I would die if I got close to you and you kept it from me?"

I say nothing. My expression tells him everything he needs to know.

"Do you know when it happens?"

I shake my head.

"What's to stop me from just leaving you here?" he snaps. "Why shouldn't I just leave you for those awful men to find?"

This is so unlike him. He's never talked to me like this, but now I feel as though I've unlocked a whole new part of him. His emerald eyes are full of unchecked rage: the demeanor of a man fearing for his life, searching for someone to blame. I've never seen him this way and I don't know how to help him.

"You're right," I say. "You're right to leave. You're right to run and never come back to me. I don't want you to die. That's the last thing I want. So go, before it's too late for you and you don't get another chance."

He brings his hands up to his head and pulls at his short hair. "If we're gonna make it out of this alive, Vi, we have to stop lying to each other. You have to tell me everything you know about these men. Every vision you have from here on out, I need to know. We have to be honest because otherwise, we're as good as dead."

"I don't want you near me anymore," I tell him. I think it's best that you leave before something happens to you."

"Is that what you want, Vi?" he asks. "Or is it what you think you should want?"

"It's what's best for you, Joel!" I shout. "It doesn't matter what I want."

"I'm not going anywhere," he says with finality. "I can't live with myself if I go and something happens to you."

"I can't live with myself if you stay and something happens to you," I counter.

"Then I guess I'll have to be extra careful," he replies matter-of-factly.

I turn away from him, trying to calm myself down. "Look, Joel. This whole situation isn't right, but you don't deserve to stick around and get yourself killed. I will hurt you, do you understand me? I have never been wrong with my visions. Not once. You will die at my hands. Does that not scare you?"

"Did I ever tell you why I became a cop, Vi?"

The question feels entirely out of the blue. "What?"

"Did I ever tell you why I became a cop?"

"No." I shake my head.

"When I was graduating high school, I was still a nerdy kid who wanted to be a hero. I had a comic book collection for miles and all I ever wanted was some sort of special power that could make me the next Captain America or something." He keeps his eyes on me, one of his hands resting on my cheek.

"So I figured I wanted the sort of job where I could be someone's hero. And even if it means that I die in the end, I will die a hero's death. That's why I do my job, Vi. That's why I'm still here. I sure as hell don't want to die, but I'm not going to walk out on you. We're all monsters. We are all good people who have done horrible things. We will find a way out of this, sweetheart, we will. I'm not leaving you. Not now, not ever."

I grip the material of his jacket in my fists as his lips brush mine. But he doesn't kiss me yet. It almost feels like he's waiting for my permission. So I lean forward and cover his mouth with mine like a silent apology.

Joel hugs me, holding me tightly in his arms.

"I'm so sorry," I murmur. "I'm so so sorry."

"It's okay," he assures me. "Hey, don't be upset. It's okay. I'm okay. You and I are both okay."

We walk back to the car practically intertwined. He opens my door for me out of habit, kissing my forehead before he closes it behind me and loops around to his side.