《Unspoken Poetry》if i die.
Advertisement
if i die
Monday, March 5 2018
Im finally writing a death letter, ive been planning this since depression became my bed,anxiety become my pillow and insecurity became my blanket.
Gabi-gabi. Tuwing gabi ako kinakamusta ng mga kaibigan ko. Tuwing gabi lagi ko silang kasama, sila kausap ko, sila yung mga naging kaibigan. Dahil tuwing gabi pinapaalala nila sakin na wala akong kwenta, wala akong silbi, ang panget ko, ang taba ko, wala akong mararating, wala akong patitunguhan. Gabi gabi pinapaalala nila sakin ung mga bagay na yun.
Noong una, kaya ko pa. Okay pa ako.
Pero ngayon, hindi na.
Pagod na ako, sawa na ako, suko na ako.
Ayoko na.
Di ko na kaya.
Hindi ko na alam.
Paano ako mag sisimula ulit?
Kung gusto ko ng taposin.
Gusto ko ng mamatay, hinihiling ko na pag pikit ko ng aking mata ngayong gabi ay hindi na ito didilat pang muli, sa gayon hindi ko na masilayan ang mga matang ito sa salamin at makita ang babaeng madaming tinatago sa bawat pag ngiti at pag tawa.
Kaya ko to sinusulat dahil sana mamamatay na ako ngayon. Ang tanga, oo. Alam ko. Pero pagod na ako, kaya magpapaka tanga na ako.
Kailan man di ko natutunan mahalin ang sarili ko, bata palang ay namulat na ako sa mga bagay na hindi dapat. bata palang ay naipamukha na sa akin na hindi dapat ako matuwa kung ano ang physical kung anyo, bata palang ako natapakan na kung anong gusto ko. Bata hanggang ngayon.
Gusto ko na mag pahinga, pasensya na.
Mamatay man ako sa isang aksidente o sa aking sariling kamay, ginusto ko yun.
Mama, papa. Madami akong gustong sabihin, madaming pagkakataon na gusto kong sabihin na hindi ko kaya, na hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko yung hinihiling nyo,na pasensya na hindi ako ganon kagaling, madami mama, papa.
Advertisement
Gusto ko sabihin na mahal ko talaga ang arts. Pero dahil sa inyo, dahil sa pag duda nyo, dahil sa pag ka wala nyo ng interest. Nawala din yung akin.
Hindi ako galit, malungkot lang.
Malungkot ako kasi hindi tayo magkalapit sa isat isa. Ang layo layo natin ma, pa. para tayong indibidwal na nakatira sa iisang bahay, para tayong panilya dahil sa apelyedo lang.
Ang dami kong hinanakit.
Ang dami kong gustong sabihin.
Ang dami kong gustong ipagtapat.
Pero
Ano bang mangyayari? Wala.
Mahal ko kayo.
Pero pasensya na, pagod na talaga ako.
Advertisement
- In Serial60 Chapters
Celestial [A Progression Fantasy LitRPG]
Warning!Profanity, unconventional relationships, drug use, descriptive gore and intimacy. Celestial is a slow-paced and action-packed progression fantasy with elements from the LitRPG genre. The story focuses on the protagonist’s personal growth, violence, sex, exploration and adventure. Follow Zelaria as she embarks on her journey of exploration and adventure, seeking ever greater heights of power. With an affinity for the elusive and mysterious Arcane and a preference for the thrill of close combat she nonetheless chooses to walk the path of a mage. A mage may still use weapons but a warrior rarely casts spells as far as she knows. It’s a logical path for her even if others may call it insanity. What do they know? Most people who choose to specialize in wielding mana tend to pick a mage class aligned with their element. Why become a standard mage, average at everything, when you can use your affinity for fire to become a fire mage and cause destruction with ease? The only problem for Zelaria is that no one seems to know how to get a mage class aligned with the arcane. Approaching 17 years of age she’s still at level 0 while her peers have long left her behind, their classes selected at the age of 15 when they became available. Luck is on her side though as she manages to snag employment as a hauler with a party heading on an expedition to a dungeon abandoned centuries ago. They’re looking for riches and danger while she’s still looking for an answer, one she finds at their destination even if not in the way she expected. Nothing is going to stop her from enjoying all that the world has to offer, not the wish of her parents or even her death. I'll be aiming to upload 5 chapters in bulk every week.
8 468 - In Serial37 Chapters
The Encroaching Rift [Dropped]
This is a story about a young teenager named Colm that had his whole life flipped upside down. On one random day, rifts began appearing across earth. Monsters that were once thought just to be myths began appearing, slaughtering anything in their sights. However all hope was not lost. With the opening of the rifts came a power that would enable humanity to survive. A power that was similar to a game.I took some elements from rpgs and incorporated them into the story.
8 127 - In Serial42 Chapters
A Theft Of Stars
The only law between the stars is the morality man takes with him. The Universal Church of Alcomer, invests its Grand inquisitor, Joshua, with the task of discovering the reason behind the disappearance of mass in a huge area between the stars. Will he be able to stop the rape of the universe?
8 218 - In Serial8 Chapters
Obsession x Mana
The modern world had become exposed to a new element which became unanimously known as "Mana" after a freak meteorite incident, creating people with superpowers and monsters that threaten life on Earth. Perun, the "Progenitor" of the meta-humans retired as a war hero and created a Dark Guild, its members being the war orphans he had adopted throughout his career. His peaceful life of filling paperwork begins to collapse as the nightmare of his "Awakening" becomes increasingly unbearable, forcing his once-powerful abilities to turn dormant. Unbeknownst to Perun, the problem children he had adopted since young, have grown up into girls with cheat-level abilities due to the properties of his mana; they became meta-humans far beyond the level of humanity, powers that contest a twisted love monopoly for their father. Should anyone bare their fangs (or romantic interest) towards their beloved one, their sweet facades shall break with no hesitation. When their seemingly unaware Master is forced to return to the center stage again as a "Level 1" character like the rest of the world, his obsessive daughters shall move beneath the shadows to create his new legend. This is the story of yanderes & obsessions.
8 86 - In Serial6 Chapters
It's a Brand New Adventure In The World of Pokémon
"Two strings are intertwined and were lock tight by destiny. One brought Glory, One brought Vain; One shall be guided by the Past Generation, One shall be guided by the Overwhelming Past. These two Strings will pull the curtains as the stage sets a new play to start a brand new adventure in the world of Monsters"
8 159 - In Serial39 Chapters
Necromancer
I'm writing day by day without plan nor any idea of where the story is going and I'll be making no effort of editing or proofreading until I'm done with the story if ever. Be warned. Blue sky, blue water, blue moon, green pasture, this is the world of Blue. Long ago, the known world was divided into six kingdoms each embodying its own element. War and violence were everywhere, and the people suffered until one day the death lord had enough. Breaking a long-standing alliance with the Life lord, they killed him and resurrected him as a pawn. Before long, all but the fire lord were puppets under their rule, but the people rejoiced as war was all but finished... … but it was not to be. The death lord grew old. By the time of their final victory, they were already at death door with the armies of the fallen lord still disputing their heritage. Desperate to take things under control before his final demise, a ritual was conceived, one to transform the dying lord into an undying lich. The ritual worked but not without an unforeseen consequence: only the living can control the dead. As one, his former minions rose to overthrow them and before long the powerful elemental lords ruled again as the wight kings. Now immortal, their rules and their war became more cruel than ever and the people despaired, all the blame falling on the one they had once claimed their savior. The wight king's war lasted for six hundred year, but eventually even them were consumed by its violence and peace came. Generations have passed, new kingdoms have raised out of the ashes of the old ones, however the fear of the dead and those who rules over them still haunt the heart of the people. In a world that fears and reject them, death mages must works behind the scene to appease the spirits and heal the scars of the world.
8 93
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
