I've done everything within my power to stay away from The Remnants. It's easy since I'm always busy. And on the days I'm off, I tour the cities by myself. I use every excuse in the book to get away from them without adding any fuel to the fire. It's for the best.

I sit in the middle of a soccer field picking at my lunch. As part of my training, I have to stay back with the crew and help take down the stage. Pete has moved on to the next venue while Nicky takes care of the post-concert duties and me.

My phone chimes with a text message. I pick it up from the grass and read the display.

Asher: You got a min to talk?

A smile spreads across my face as I fumble through my favorite contacts and select his name. With a six-hour time difference between us, we've only been communicating by text lately.

"Hey babe," he says.

There is cheerfulness to his voice, and for the first time in days, I have no worries of getting fired and my father losing a big contract. Talking to Asher is a breath of fresh air.

"How are you?" I ask.

"Good. We just got to Atlanta last night. How's it going with the little rock band?" I can picture him rolling his eyes.

"Fine." I don't want him getting worked up about me being miserable, so I opted for a safer subject. "I miss you."

"I miss you too. You haven't even been gone for a week, and you sound homesick."

"I am," I confess, but it's not so much homesick as I'm sick of walking on pins and needles.

"You have just a few more weeks, and then you can come on a real tour for a while."

"Eight, I have eight more weeks."

He laughs. "Counting down I see. Well hey, I have to go I just wanted to check up on you and hear your voice. I'll try to call you in the next couple of days, all right?"

My heart sinks and I struggle to keep the disappointment from my voice. "Okay. I love you."

"Love you too."

A little bubble of happiness somersaults in my stomach. The sound of those words leaving his lips never gets old. I could honestly do nothing else but listen to him tell me he loves me over and over again and be totally content.

After disconnecting the line, I lie back in the grass and cover my eyes with my arms. I take deep breaths and hold the tears in. It's been a long time since I felt this alone, and it's hard to shake off.

I'm visiting new places and have this great opportunity, but it's all so empty. What does it matter if I do not have someone to share it with? I pictured my first trip around Europe so differently; I'd always seen myself doing it with Asher.

There is a rustling in the grass before someone sits next to me and tugs my shirt to cover my exposed midriff.

"There is a crew of dirty old guys over there, and you're giving them a show."

I peek out from under my arm at my brother. "They can go fuck themselves."

I mean it; I'm tired, and I really don't want to worry about the road crew fantasizing about me when my shirt rides up, or my pants sit too low on my hips. It's their responsibility to control their dirty thoughts, not mine.

"What's your deal?" Nicky raises his eyebrows. "You've spent the last three days moping around, and you're starting to piss me off."

Nicky's pretty chill; there are only a handful of things in life that upset him. One of those things is seeing his loved ones unhappy. He likes a calming balance around him and everyone to be metaphorically singing Kumbaya and holding hands. Not that Nicky is a free-loving hippie and is all about peace and not war. He would not hesitate to kick someone's ass if they messed with our family. Life is just better for him when everyone gets along, and the drama is minimal.

I sit up and take in the crew pulling apart the stage. I feel like I'm going to explode, and I can't hold it in any longer. There's been nobody to share my feelings with. I don't want to tell Dad because he will say this is about the job and not about my comfort. Nonna will give me some brilliant advice which I'll not be able to decode for the next twenty years. That leaves my brother.

"What the hell am I supposed to do, Nicky? Everyone thinks this band walks on water, including you. I've been instructed to stay away, so I'm doing my job and following the rules."

"That's bullshit, A.J.! People ask me about you every day; they want to be your friends. Just let it go and be you and have some fun. Who cares about the stupid rules?"

"I do! I don't want the company to lose this job."

Nicky shakes his head. "Don't worry about the business. It will be all right. Look, we have some free time coming up next week; how about you and I go do some site seeing in London? Maybe we can see if some of the crew wants to come with us."

"That would be cool."

It really would. It has been a long time since I've hung out with my brother. I'll never admit it, but he was one of my best friends growing up. Not because I shared all my deep dark secrets with him, but I could always count on him. If I was sad, he'd find a way to cheer me up, and if I was bored, he was there with a plan. My life was a thousand times more entertaining because Nicky was in it.

He nudges me with his shoulder and points at the dismantled stage. "Come on, let's get this done so we can get out of here."

*****

After a few days of sharing a room with Nicky, I made it a priority to wake up before him. If I don't rush to the bathroom first, he'll hog it until we have to leave. He wears more hair product than anyone I know. His annoyance with me is mutual; I'm killing his game. There are tens of thousands of girls at these concerts, and he's sharing a room with his little sister.

During last night's drive from Dublin to Sunderland, I thought about what Nicky said. He was right; I don't want to be miserable on this trip, and it's up to me to make some changes. This has the potential of being one of the best experiences of my life, so I've made a resolution. I won't let anyone control this experience for me; I'm going to do this the way I want.

I plan on acting like I already own this company. I'm going to bust ass building the stage and make the best of my time working. I won't be intimidated, so if people on this tour don't want me here, they need to find a way to get me fired because I don't plan on leaving. I will take this job seriously and learn as much as I can. This is a once in a lifetime experience, and I'm going to absorb it all. There is not much I'm able to control, but these are mine to do as I please.

I throw my backstage lanyard over my head and say, "You have fifteen minutes to be downstairs for breakfast. I'll meet you there, ass-munch."

Nicky raises his hand from under the sheets and flips me off.

I have a feeling it's going to be a good day.