Sage Blvd

Los Angeles, CA

Sadie's golden brown skin savored in honey. Her privates covered with pasties as she sat in a black tub with a white rim.

Her hand restless hanging over the rim while her head perfectly positioned on her arm. These were potential shots of her debut cover for Paper Magazine. With just three years moving out to LA, her career has sky rocketed. This was no longer a dream for her—this was reality.

Serving face with ever slight move of her head, the camera flashed away. Mike—her hair stylist stepping in and out the white frame making sure no piece of hair was out of place. Even with all of this Sadie still felt like it wasn't enough. What she wanted most now that she had a career was—

A word the describes to be a noun and a verb. A word that could mean two different things—like a mother's love for her child. No love could complete with a mother's love—that love never fades—that love is forever. But the love Sadie desired was the love one desire from a lover—the sexual desire—the desire one feels when the person they love is in their safe space and it makes them feel like they're on cloud nine. The love that makes you sick—in a good way—with all the trials and tribulations nothing could amount to the feeling they give you.

Sadie started to think that everything she thought about that feeling was presuming to not exist. Where was the love Noah and Allie had in The Notebook or what she related to the most Sidney and Dre from Brown Sugar. One's self conscious, feeling as were they can't function entirely without the other. It was all looking like a . "Okay next shoot" Macro said giving her a steady smile—he's a self-made photographer who emigrated from South Africa. She was familiar with his work seeming that he was the first photographer to give her a chance when she first started out as a newbie.

Mike swiftly made his way over to her to help Sadie out of the mixture of honey and water that covered her body, standing up straight, he swaddled her with a towel. To be honest all she wanted to do was rush home and take a hot shower. "This is the messiest shoot I've ever done" she said to him while they made their way over to his set up.

"But you still look beautiful" he expressed, Cynthia walking towards them with makeup wipes in her hand.

"Okay with this next shoot, fresh face?" She asked Sadie before bomb rushing her with the wipe.

She nodded and Cynthia did just that. "Gregory is steaming your dress now" she said.

He was finally back after committing all his time on the queen herself, Nicki. Now Sadie had her right man back and she loved every bit of it.

"High up or leave down?" Mike asked, staring at her through the mirror. Due to her hair being over the tub, no honey was in it which was perfect.

"What you think?" Sadie said, pressing her index finger against her chin, "Cynthia" she called out her name.

Cynthia leaned forward just a little to look at Sadie in the mirror before she gave her final answer, "Down" she protested, "it's going to fit well with the dress."

The two man army got Sadie together before Gregory came rushing over with an extra large garment bag that she assume had her dress in it. "Let me see" she turned her entire body in one of those foldable makeup artist chairs.

He smiled, reaching up at the top to grab ahold of the zipper, taking his time to slide it down. Looking back over at her before he opened it up completely, "Now I know I messed up for LAFW but—" holding the garment bag with his one hand as the other pulled it back to reveal the highly anticipated dress.

It had to be one of the best Gregory picked out for her out of their two year workmanship. Cynthia and Mike mouths sprung open as they became hypnotize by the beauty. It was an off the shoulder evening dress but that wasn't it—it was gold with sequins stitched and positioned perfectly from the breast, to the arms and midway down. The highlight of the dress was its cavernous V shape in the chest area that was going to define her figure. She definitely was going to look like the brightest star, the meaning behind the shoot she was about to do. The lower half was cute but simple—it was see-through with a high cut to display Sadie freshly shaved legs.

"Greg!"she squeaked, jumping out of the chair, barging him with a hug. It was perfect.

"So you accept my apology then" he laughed, "Thank God!" He faked wiped sweat from his forehead.

"I'm still in awe" Cynthia spoke, Mike eyes still dazed over the dress. It was absolutely stunning.

"Okay well let's put it on you" Greg insisted, causing her to drop the towel she's been wearing since Mike started doing her hair. She was comfortable around them—they were family and plus she was confident in her body—at the end of the day it was just ass, something she was sure Mike and Greg were familiar with.

Properly cleaning her with a hot towel first, he proceed to help her put the dress on. He stood back to admire her, his hands covering his mouth as if he just saw a goddess. "This is it" he proclaimed, "this is the look for the cover"

"No doubt about it" Mike chimed in. No need for accessories because the dress itself already made a statement. The gold strapped heels and the icing gold hair clip in her curls were just enough. Grabbing her hand to lead the way to rooftop of the warehouse. It was going on six and it was ideal that they got the sunset in the shots.

"Wow" Mike clasping his hands together, his grin was validation that Sadie indeed looked beautiful. "Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous" fishing her air kisses.

"Right here beautiful," he said again motioning for her to stand on the red dot he made on the ground so she could know her placement. Doing what she do best, she laid her right hand on her hip while the other draped over her forehead as if she was about to faint. Marco smiled, and nodded as he brought the camera up and started shooting.

The last shoot on the rooftop took over an hour. Sadie wanted to get the perfect angles and wasn't going to stop until she did. Pulling into her one car garage before cutting off the engine. Mike slammed the door of his car that was parked out front, jogging over to her before the garage door closed.

With her team being her family, she was closer to Mike. He was brown skin, no facial hair, a small section of his hair were in cornrows while the back was cut into a fade. His dark brown eyes weren't no different from hers but she always felt like they were mesmerizing. Even as a hair stylist he was quite toned in the arms and as far as Sadie knew he probably was in the abdomen as well.

Some would guess that he was swinging in the same team but that was the complete opposite. Mike was a straight man who just so happen loved doing hair. His inspiration came from him having five younger sister and him not only being the oldest but the only boy. That didn't stop his love life—he was married to a beautiful woman with two kids, if anything he had a better love life than Sadie.

"What a day huh" he said, plopping down on her pink velvet sectional couch.

"I mean we had more hectic days don't you think?" she asked, taking out two clear glasses to pour them both wine.

"Yeah but I'm talking about that honey shit" he scrunched up his face, "matter fact I know you stink"

"Fuck you" she laughed, finally walking over to him to sit down but not before handing him a glass, "but you're right I do need to get in the shower."

Taking a hold of the remote, she turned on the TV awaiting for the fire stick to load. "So besides all that" Mike mumbled, bring the glass to his lips and taking a sip before speaking, "how are you mentally" furrowing his brows, "and don't lie Sadie"

"I don't know," she answered truthfully, "I'm in cruise control"

"What does that even mean?" he looked over at her. She laughed while taking another sip. It meant exactly what she said.

"Like I'm just riding with no pressure on the gears for me to go" she said looking over at him, their eyes meeting, "you know what I mean?"

"Not really" he shook his head, "but as long as you know that's all that matters" he laughed. She nudged him as she playfully rolled her eyes, turning her attention back towards the TV. Scrolling all the way over until she saw YouTube, she clicked on it waiting for it to load as well.

"What about Stephanie" he said causing her to sigh. She knew that the waiter from the place she always visit had a thing for her—it was no secret, even a stranger could tell that. But that's not what she wanted right now—at this very moment.

"What about her?" she said, "she's cool but—"

"But what Sadie?"

"But she's not what I want right now Mike" sincerely trying to get that through his thick skull.

"And can I ask you why" he whispered, leaning forward to sit the glass on her marble top coffee table. "You've express to not only me but to Cynthia about wanting to find a significant other"

"But when there's clearly a whole human who is into you, you don't know want them" he said, "did I get that right?"

Correct. That was exactly how Sadie was seeing it. Stephanie seemed like the perfect person for her and they might even hit it off if she gave her a chance but—

"You remember I was throwing them tantrums the day of LAFW" she subconsciously changed the subject.

He nodded, propping his arm on the arm of her couch, "How could I forget" he responded, "but what about it?"

"Remember the stylist Gregory sent to take place of him?"

"Yes," nodding again, "but where are you going with this? What does this have to do with St–"

"That was Jodie" she cut him off,

He laughed while Sadie sat there not finding the amusement, "Duh Sadie it was JodieP the fashion stylist you and I both know that"

"My Jodie" she explained, Mike's body language shifted as his laughter was creased. He pointed to her and then his eyes got big.

"Your Jodie" he repeated, "like the old best friend Jodie?"

"Mhmm" was all she said, his face expression showed everything that he was thinking.

"What the hell!" He blurted, realizing his tone and decided to take a deep breathe, "And you just now telling me this." He said, "This is the Jodie you've been telling Cynthia and I about all this time? The one that got away"

"I know" she mumbled, looking down at the glass filled with Stella Rose. "I should've told you guys but—"

"It doesn't matter, she's with Beverly" she stated.

"Not just with" Mike said, "she's her fiancé, Sadie"

"And how many times have Cynthia and I told you, stop holding on to a fantasy. It's been how long" he asked

"Five" she murmured, "five years"

Clapping his hands together, "Exactly, my point. Why be stuck on someone who has moved on? Clearly you haven't been on her mind all this time. She's engaged, do I have to say it again?"

"No" she rolled her eyes, taking one more sip before putting the glass down, "and you're right, but me not wanting to start something with Stephanie has nothing to do with her." She lied

It had everything to do with Jodie.

"Okay you can lie to yourself but not to me" he called her out, "but if that's what you want." Raising his shoulders, "To dwell on the past I'll support you. I've always supported you and I'm not stopping now."

Sadie felt the tears coming but she shut her eyes before they could. It meant so much to her to hear him say that. It wasn't easy to stop loving someone—this wasn't Vampires Diaries—Sadie wasn't capable of physically shutting off her emotions.

"Thank you Mikey" she gushed, leaning over to give him a side hug.

"Yeah whatever" he waved her off before giving her a smile. "Let's gone ahead and watch crime talk with Kendall Rae" he said referring to YouTube that was still on the screen.

If only she could erase the thought of Jodie—her love life would be so much better.

Here & Now

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