Someone, please send help from above.

My uterus is trying to kill me.

Why the frick do we need to bleed with such pain. Men should bleed for a week every month and see how they fricking cope.

I've been so caught up revising the last month and with everything else going on, to say I was shocked when my friend appeared this morning was an understatement... followed by a few choice curse words. Don't get me wrong, I know women shouldn't be embarrassed by periods- completely natural thing, cannot be helped- and I'm not for the most part but it just crushes me because It's a week I can't dance or do much.

It probably sounds dramatic but I've always had the worst periods, the cramps are so bad I can't move and painkillers are childsplay that don't even remotely work. My mood swings are abysmal and I'm either angry or depressed, my whole body aches and the nausea is excruciating. I was at my therapy session this morning when the onslaught of extras came hurtling in and I just cried the entire way home, half from pain but half from being so damn emotional.

I think I've also scared the living daylight out of Blaze, he's had no idea what to do. On occasions even asked his mom if he needed to take me to the hospital, bless his heart. To which both I and Helen laughed. She simply gave me a hot water bottle, some strong painkillers and dug out a stash of Reeses she had hidden in the cupboard- I could have cried- actually I probably did.

And since then I've been lying in Blazes bed, moping, but I think for bleeding monthly and producing life I'm allowed to mope for a bit. Blazes laptop is open and currently playing the second season of Shadowhunters, a show I favour superiorly, whilst I cacoon in his black duvet surrounding myself in his citrus and minty scent- hot water bottle pressed to my lower abdomen.

We had such an amazing time at the lake a couple of days ago and every time I think about what happened...in the lake, my cheeks deepen... I returned the... favour... on the way home. Blaze pulled over at the side of the road secluded by trees and miles of endless road, thank the lord VJ and B got a lift with Ethan and Carrie. The stars were just descending over the trees and I think the moonlight peeping through the branches killed off any self-control I had... things went... further... than anticipated.

Now bunched inside the duvet I wish we were back at the lake, I love having the time off but being in pain is a severe downside along with the mounting list of things I need to do taunting me. Blaze had to pull an algebra book out of my hands this morning and propped me up in a fort of pillows, giving me control of Netflix on his laptop and saying he'd be back soon. I'm not sure where he went but it's been a good forty minutes and as warm as the bed is I'm starting to feel like a bit of a slob.

Maybe I should help Helen, I can hear her tinkering away in the kitchen, pots and pans clattering on the surface tops. I push myself up onto my elbows and slowly pull my legs from the cover, slumping them over the side of the bed and easing through the screaming in my abdomen and aches running through down legs and into my back. Lord send fricking mercy...

My head pounds as I try to push myself off the bed, vision swimming... why the hell was I made a woman... bloody wombs and uteruses... shitty hormones.

Suddenly the door swings open alerting me to the fact that the sound from the kitchen has stopped and in front of me stands Blaze, a grocery bag in his hand, Helen standing just behind him, dishcloth in her hands.

"What are you doing up?" Blaze's brows draw together like I'm committing some crime.

"I was just coming to see if you wanted a hand in the kitchen." I direct my gaze at Helen who sends me a warm smile.

"I'm fine, you need to rest. You look exhausted honey." She casts a worrying glance over me, clutching my abdomen as a band of pain assaults me.

"Back into bed Blondie. I bought supplies." He holds up the bag, ushering me back into the covers.

"I'm not dying Blaze, women do it every month." I move back into the bed, muscles screaming in protest... it sure as hell feels like I'm dying though. Blaze looks unconvinced, worry etching across his face.

"Are you sure this is normal?" He looks to his mom who bites her lip in an attempt not to chuckle.

"Yes Blaze, menstruation is perfectly normal. Some women, unfortunately, deal with it a lot worse than others and can get a range of accompanying symptoms." She points a pitying smile back at her, "Looks like Atlas picked the short straw. Have you ever been medicated? Been put on the pill?" It's not like anyone ever cared enough to offer such resources, especially not the pill. "I mean, it might be wise anyway to look at going on the pill." She eyes Blaze and my cheeks burn, I fight the urge to rush under the black comforter. I can feel Blaze grinning at me, smug as shit at my discomfort to talk about this with his mom. Blaze and I have had a brief conversation about it before but I was always too scared to look into it completely but if it's going to help with the onslaught of symptoms... "Don't be embarrassed love, it's completely natural." Helen smiles from the doorway comfortingly. I give a slight nod, sure, I shouldn't be embarrassed by these things but I'm sure it's quite literally in my nature to be embarrassed by everything. "I'll book an appointment at the hospital for you if that's what you want?" She says sweetly as she shuts the door. A breath escapes my lips as another pain shoots down my back... lovely.

"Alright so... I've got..." Blaze pulls out the bag he bought in, "Sprite. Several boxes of Reese's pieces... two tubs of Ben and Jerrys- since I know you won't be in the habit of sharing yours-"

"What kind..."

"Half-baked of course." He tuts pulling out two spoons and chucking them to the duvet along with several packets of Twizzlers, some bottles of Gatorade- the blue one- Oreos and jolly ranchers. "Oh and uh... I didn't know whether you needed any more of those things... so uh I got-" He tips the remainder of the bag upside down with a sheepish grin and hundred of packets of pads and boxes of tampons come tumbling out, "These. I didn't know which ones to get either so I just bought... a selection." I struggle to contain the laughter bubbling inside of me as I spy adult diapers in the pile. He's literally bought one of every kind... oh my... my heart warms significantly, I'm actually going to melt, this is the sweetest thing... I- he's done all of this just because I'm bleeding.

"I love you." I giggle grabbing his chin between my fingers and kissing his sharp jaw. "And these are fine, thank you." I pick up a box of tampons and a packet of pads.

"I love you. Now, what have I missed?" He nods to the laptop screen with the paused shadow hunters episode. We settle down into the covers feasting on way more sugar than I should be allowed and continue watching Shadowhunters. I curl into Blazes side using his chest as a pillow, the lulling sound of his heartbeat making me sleepy. His hand glides across my back and through my ratted hair and his chin rests on the top of my head, warmth encasing my tired body.

"Ugh. I don't get this." He moans as the credits roll for the end of the episode, I try not to laugh because he's been like this the entire series, "So... he's basically just been fucking his sister? What the fuck is this shit? It's legit a show based on incest... I know we all have kinks babe but this is... a bit far?" I thump his chest with as much strength as I can muster whilst still using it as a pillow.

"It's not like that... it's more complicated."

"But Clary's his sister and they've one hundred percent been doing the fucking dirty.."

"Doing the... dirty...? No... they are but they aren't." He glowers down at me, " I don't want to ruin it for you!" I whine thumping his chest again. He chuckles, the sound running down to my aching core, his fingers draw circles above my hip bone and he places a kiss on my temple.

"Just tell me." He sighs, he'll claim he's not into it, like dance moms, but he loves this shit.

"Fine... Jace isn't... No! I'm not telling you... it's long to explain so just watch!"

"God who thought of this shit." Blaze moans lifting his head to the ceiling.

"Cassandra Claire does, I read all these books before the show."

"Bookworm." He mumbles earning another thump that ends in giggles.

"You're one to talk."

They ease back into the silence, starting the next episode until Blazes fingers start travelling across my stomach, under the heating pads. His head moves so his lips are near my ear as he mumbles, " You know, I heard orgasms can actually help with the cramping." I can feel the smirk against my neck, my pulse jumping.

"You. Are. Impossible." I giggle into his kisses, feeling the attention from his mouth to my own ease some of the brittleness in my bones.