"You are joking?" I breathe, the chilly air biting at my lungs as I laugh. I have to hold my stomach as it aches. Blaze rolls his eyes casting his eyes over the fogged city but I can see the tiny upturn of his lips... ever so small but it liquefies my insides.

"Yeah, yeah fucking laugh it up. Like you haven't done anything embarrassing." He shoves me playfully keeping his fingers interlocked with mine, the heat from him wrapping around my skin and shooting from my palm into my body.

"Embarrassing sure... but that...that's soul destroyingly embarrassing." I cackle watching my breath float into the grey sky. Blaze rolls his eyes again and I'm sure I can see the tiniest bit of pink on the top of his ears.

After my audition this morning we all went out for some lunch and as he promised Blaze had taken me around New York showing me all of the top tourist spots and the charm of the Big Apple. It's truly magical, like a part of me has always longed to walk the streets and stand in the middle of fricking Times Square... Times Square! It was incredible, Blaze laughed at me when I did the classic 'spin in awe looking at the billboards in the crowd of people' - like they do in the films. As we walked down Broadway my chest tingled and my eyes glassed over at the bright lights framing the theatres and posters. My body thrummed with excitement, my fingers desperate to reach out and touch everything. I still find it hard to believe I'm actually here... I'm scared I'll wake up and it'll all be a ridiculous dream.

"It was Brady's fault!" He huffs, his lips jutting out making me laugh even more. "The bastard had put it in my fucking orange juice at breakfast."

Blaze had spent most of the day telling me about the more memorable and happy parts of his childhood, the days he spent baking with his nan or the endless nights he and Brady would stay out at the playground near their houses which led us to Blaze's story- Brady slipped farting powder into Blaze's juice and he literally shit himself whilst he was doing a presentation in front of the class in sixth grade.

"Yeah... and then you shit yourself, Blaze..." My stomach has never hurt so much from laughing. Blaze grabs my waist and pushes me up against something cold, wind whips through my hair and in the corner of my eye I can see a couple taking photos on their iPhones. I turn my head slightly and suddenly realise where we are. In all the humiliation of Blaze's story, I hadn't realised he'd bought us to the Brooklyn Bridge. Even though a frosty snow cloud had covered the top of the window-structured skyscrapers the view is still phenomenal.

"I swear to god Atlas Grove if you tell anyone about this... anyone..." He grips my cheeks between his hands and I can't help but chuckle.

"What you gonna do Beckett?" I pull my lower lip between my teeth smirking. Blaze looks up at the sky through his dark lashes, a small grin lacing his lips as he runs his thumb across his bottom lip. Quickly he flips me around so my stomach is pressed against the railing of the bridge, looking out across the city. I squeal at the sudden movement but smile as Blaze's arms wrap around my midsection, his chin resting on my shoulder. His minty scent warming me from the inside as he places a small kiss on my jaw. My grin grows as I look out over the fogged up city, lights twinkling in the haze.

"I'd push you in." He murmurs against my neck, amusement coating his tone. I giggle lacing my fingers through his on top of my coat.

"I'd pull you in with me... we'd float down the river... freezing mind you."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Blaze whispers sending a shiver through me. I smile to myself, only he would happily freeze to death after pushing me off a bridge. My eyes don't stray from the sight in front of me, the wind whistling past my ears and the distant chatter of different languages from flourishing tourists. The skyscrapers full of suited men and women that stand above the smaller stocky buildings like the rulers of the land, flags flying off the top with pride through the mist. Like they're welcoming us to enter the city, a city like no other, bursting at the scene with diversity and life. The sounds, the smells the feeling of walking down the streets in the Big Apple.

"I can't believe my mom grew up here, she talked about it all the time." I smile thinking about the stories she told me when I couldn't sleep. She'd sit on the end of my bed stroking my hair talking about the wonders of New York.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, she always promised she'd bring me one day." My smile drops slightly, she never got to fulfil her promise- through no fault of her own. I wonder what it would have been like if she had, where she would have taken me? What we would have done with my sister too.

"She sounds like an incredible woman Blondie. She may not have bought you but you got here on your own and I think that would make her even more proud."

I let Blaze's words sink in, his grip tightening around me. Maybe he's right, I did it. I made it to New York and I might not get into Julliard but I tried and I tried my fricking hardest. I really did momma. My therapist often talks about self-acceptance and being able to have self-belief, for the first time I think at this moment that I get it. I've tried as hard as I can and it might not be good enough for them but I think it's okay for me. I've made it this far and I'm still alive, still dancing.

"She would have loved you, Blazey." I smile leaning back into him and twisting my head so I can place a kiss on the stubbled bit of skin under his chin. "Do you think if I'd grown up here, if she'd never left New York, we'd have still met?"

"Hmm, I don't know." Blaze contemplates for a few seconds.

"I'd like to think we would have... call it fate."

"Maybe we were always meant to cross paths, different universes and all that shit. I don't think I could have gone through life without meeting an Atlas Grove..." We both drift into a comfortable silence swaying slighting in the force of the wind. Maybe we were always meant to cross paths, the knight on a white horse... Man, I really am the annoying character in the film who develops the whole 'Hero syndrome thing.

Maybe now is the time to tell him...

Just do it, it's not that big of a deal, is it?

You can't ignore it.

"You alright Atlas?" Blaze turns me around so he can look at my face, concern lines around his eyes. Spending so long suppressing how I was feeling sometimes it's such a relief when he just... knows...

He brings his palm to my cheek, my hair falling around his wrist. He strokes his thumb across my cheekbone.

"When I knew we were coming to New York... I did a bit of... digging..." His brows pinch together but lets me continue, "I have one of my mom's old diaries from when she was younger... not the daily encounter type thing it was a basic diary that had appointments and dates and yada yada in it... it sounds so weird but I took comfort in knowing what she did when she was... happy..." I drop my eyes to my feet, heat rising into my cheeks.

"It's not weird at all. Continue." Blaze's commanding tone brings a slight smile to my lips.

"Anyway... I had another look through to see the kind of things she did and places went when she lived here... and I came across a really damaged page, it had been stuck to the one before so I'd never seen it but when I peeled it back... there was an address... it was my grandparent's address... according to the diary they still live in new York... or they did." I peek up at Blaze to gauge his reaction but his face is blank, giving nothing away... crap... "You know it might not even be real, they might have moved.... I've never even met them so they might... I don't know... I- uh... sorry-" His hands cup my face, the intense blue of his eyes more prominent under the fading light.

"Butterfly. Do you want to see if they still live there?" He asks. I nod apprehensively, "Okay." He smiles pulling me into his chest.

"You're not mad?"

"No? Why would I be?" I shrug letting my shoulders drop with the tension in my body.

"I-I uh..." Well, honestly I thought you'd get rid of me if I had some remaining family but... you're not like that Blaze... "I don't even know." I giggle feeling slightly bad for doubting him in the first place, it's hard to trust but I'm learning and Blaze is more than worthy of my trust after everything he's done for me, "Will you... will you come with me?" I peek up at him to see a small smile settle on his face, the tips of his ears pink from the cold.

"If that's what you want." Blaze looks down at me, pride sinking into his smile.

"No... it's what I need..." I smuggle back into his chest, my fingers tangling in the wind picking up. After what little light there was had set and the skyscrapers had lit up like a landing strip Blaze pulls away from me and takes my hand walking us along the bridge.

"There's one more place I want to take you to before we head back..." And with that Blaze whisks us into a yellow cab at the side of the street which flys us, as quickly as New York traffic allows, through the city passing the bright lights and crowds of people gathered on the sidewalk. My heart thrumbs through my body, tingling with excitement and anticipation as I press my nose up to the glass, a cloud of mist forming beneath it which I'm not sure the driver is overly happy about- nor my enthusiasm. But honestly, I can't image how many stardom hungry tourists and new movers he has to encounter daily- your own enthusiasm runs out eventually even being in New York it seems. I don't think I could ever grow tired of this place.

The cab eventually pulls up outside a building I identify immediately. I'm out of the cab quicker than it can drive off leaving my eyes to glass over in the cold of the night, snow settling in my hair that's started to fall again. The warm honey glow lights cast squares of illumination across the gaggle of people taking pictures outside, wrapped in pea coats and scarves but toes turning blue in open toe heels.

"What... what are we doing here?" I ask Blaze feeling his arm settle around my shoulders, my eyes not leaving the building standing proudly in front of me.

He says nothing but edges me forward towards the entrance of the David H. Koch Theater... home to the New York City Ballet since 1964...

Blaze waltzes us through the doors into the warm foyer, the echo of our shoes against the floor filling the modern architecture of the room. There's no one else around which means I'm fairly certain there is no show happening tonight. Confused I stop, my vans squeaking against the floor making my skin itch.

"Blaze what are we doing?" I whisper hiss. Blaze looks ahead a small smirk lining his slightly stubbled jaw.

"Come on." He says flatly, edging me through the lobby with his hand on the small of my back. I crane my neck to look around, concerned we shouldn't be here but something catches my eye on the far wall. On the levels up the wall, several photographs take pride place capturing the level of performance here. One stands out on the second level, a picture of my mom mid-jump. My fricking mom on the wall... my lip wobbles...

"Blaze. It's my mom." I whisper stopping again to admire the picture, my eyes watering- jeez New York makes me so damn emotional but maybe it's because I've never felt so close to her. She was happy here, she lived the best parts of her life in this city, building and accomplishing her dreams.

Blaze says nothing but I can feel his smile when he places a warm kiss on my temple. I snap a photo of my phone so I can add another picture of her, happy, to my collection. Blaze then takes my hand in his and pulls me through a set of doors at the end of the lobby.

As the door shuts my mouth drops... speech slurring like I'm either mid-stroke or positively drunk.

"This... This is where you belong." Blaze drops my hand and swings around looking up, his smile says one thing but I catch the tiny hint of disappointment in his voice, he covers it quickly by grabbing my hand and spinning me under his arm. I squeal in delight the rows upon rows of red velvet seats becoming a blur in my vision. When I come to a stop I look at the stage in front of me, the yellow curtain draped across the back-illuminated by stage lights. The scale of the inside of the theatre is immense, I've studded pictures of this place but the beauty of it in person is seriously something tremendous.

"It's so beautiful," I mumble as Blaze pulls me into his chest wrapping his arms around me and nuzzling into my neck. Considering how on edge Blaze was when we landed having this side of him all day has made me all fuzzy, I love every single side of Blaze- even his angry, I wanna punch something side. It's what makes him, him.

I look up into his eyes, dark and sparkly under the many warm spotlights. He lets my thumb run across his cheek. It's just me and him, him and I. His hold is the most important thing in the world right now and nothing can change that. This thing between us is fast and strong, the strongest thing in my life and the most valuable... thinking about life without it hurts physically. A deep clawing feeling runs through my chest. It's wiped away when Blaze tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, grazing my cheek, sending shivers down my spine.

"Yeah and an even more beautiful girl will be dancing up there one day... star of the fucking show..." His voice low and controlled. My cheeks heat under his intense gaze. I think about dancing on that stage in a few years having earned my degree at Julliard. Living in the city, buying over pried ice tea in the mornings and the crowded commute on the subway. Watching the sunrise over the skyscrapers when I can't sleep and the heavy flow of people in Times Square when I go on a walk just simply to admire the beauty of the city I live in. I smile at the images conjuring in my mind but an ache settles above my lungs when I realise the biggest thing missing from the life I've imagined...

"Only if you're waiting in the wings with the biggest bouquet of flowers money can buy. Suit and tie, a ticket to the ballet, my ballet in your pocket..." I say, pressing my hand against his chest where I imagined the ticket to poke out of his suit. I can feel his steady heartbeat and my cheeks flush deeper realising the severity of what I just said.

"Hmm... one on condition... you'll be in the stands at my games, in the best seats the NFL offer. My oversized jersey hanging off you, waving a foam hand with your gorgeous smile..."

Wow... my heart flutters under my skin picturing the scene playing out in my mind. The weirdest part of this conversation is that I think this is the first time we've both fed into our dreams... had a bit of belief in ourselves...

This conversation feels comfortable, normal like our futures aren't lingering over our heads- going separate ways in a few months.

Blaze leans down and bushes his nose against mine, foreheads pressed together, breathing heavily the same air. I can practically hear his heartbeat in my ears as his chin drips down even further and places the lightest kiss against my lips. I love the roughness and urgency of Blazes kisses but this seems too intimate to be anything else, like a promise that we'll always remember this moment no matter what happens. We'll always come back to our ideal worlds, dreams we've concocted through the years with love.

"Hey! What are you kids doing in here?" A gruff New York accent forces us apart, I stare at Blaze panic swimming in me but he's a cool as a fricking cucumber, smirking. "You kids can't be in here! Security!" The voice calls again and just as we see two burly security guards bust through the door Blaze tugs on my hands and pulls us back through the seats.

"Come on." He chuckles watching me freeze in panic, it seems to fade the further we get to the door and soon we're both laughing.

"You kids come back!!" The men shout but we're too busy cackling to hear them.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️😂🤦‍♀️🥰