《Balance》Chapter 50 ~ Envelope
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"Atlas Grove?" The pepper haired receptionist waltzes into the science lab, scuffed red kitten heels and a flora skirt down to her calves, complete fashion disaster as Carrie would say. She pushes her glasses higher on her nose, the chain clanking around her gold cross necklace, eyes narrowed when she sees me. "Guidance counsellors office. Now." She points directly at me and nods her head towards the hallway. Once again all eyes are on me and I huff, cheeks burning so hot they'd toast bread. I gather my things off my desk quickly, what the hell have I done this time?
Brady looks at me from across the bench with bunched brows, I give him a small shrug and a smile before I turn towards the door weaving between the desks and pointed glances. As I reach for the handle there's a tug on my wrist.
Blaze.
His eyes are hard silently asking if I want him to come with me. I shake my head and mouth 'I'll be fine. I'll tell you later,' before the burley receptionist places her blotchy hand on my shoulder and practically pulls me out into the hallway.
She strolls ahead of me, heels clicking against the floor- a distinctly terrorizing sound in the barren hallway. I walk silently behind her glancing at the classroom doors all shut sealing in the learning teenagers- which is where I should be.
Why am I being pulled out again?
We pass under a banner hanging low that reads Congratulations Lions- National Winners. The mood is still at an all-time high, buzzing with life around the school. The football team are being treated like royalty, not that they weren't before, but now it's insane. Especially with Blaze, he has his own little fan club following him around... mainly consisting of girls- I know people probably think I should be jealous of all his female attention, maybe I am a little. Especially after what happened in the hotel room, I'm inexperienced, quiet, shy and... well kind of weird I guess but he always reassures me, puts me at ease. Holding my hand whenever we're together, Increased PDA- which does make me slightly embarrassed but incredibly happy at the same time.
No matter how much he reassures me though I still feel... less than. I don't want to have sex with him and it be so disappointingly bad he hates me and breaks up with me. I'm scared I won't be able to give him what he wants and I know there's many a girl that can.
So lost in my head I don't even realise we've ended up in the main reception area. The receptionist stares at me like I'm shit on her shoe before pointing at one of the doors down the hall. "Mrs Stentham says you can go straight in." She huffs sitting behind the desk immersing herself in filing her horribly chipped nails.
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I nod curtly at her even though she's not looking at me anymore.
I turn down the small hallway leading to the principles office, the light flickers above me. I don't have a scheduled meeting with Mrs Stentham, she's been much more of a reoccurring figure in my life since she found out about what was happening and I talk to her as well as my therapist but I don't understand why she wants me to see her now?
The latter of which makes me pause at the door reading her name on the plaque just above Guidance Councillor. I knock even though I was told to go straight in, I'd feel rude otherwise... I've done that a few times with Blaze recently, running into him in the bathroom or his room whilst he's changing- in my defence, he's old enough to know how a lock works but it still ends up leaving me a flustered embarrassed mess and Blaze an overly cocky, incredibly hot ass.
"Come in." Mrs Stenthams voice travels through the wood bringing me out of daydream, Blaze's wet abs disappearing from my mind.
Get yourself together, lord.
I push open the door to the office I feel most comfortable in at school. Coloured pictures cover the walls and a stencil of a tree is painted in the corner by the two pink bean bags on the floor. Mrs Stentham grins from behind her desk, combing her blush nails through her highlighted blonde bob, she removes her fingers and beckons me forward enthusiastically towards the desk.
She's a lot more enthusiastic than usual even though she's one of the brightest fulfilling people I know but it doesn't ease my apprehension.
"Sit! Sit!" She points at the single chair on the opposite side to hers, small picture frames and stationary laying on the desk in-between.
I do as she instructs and slide into the chair, fiddling with the small gemmed rings on my fingers, the blue nail polish on my nails chipped and marked- I should really re-paint them but I always end up picking it off with nervousness.
"What's this about.... Am I in trouble...?" I slowly lower my back against the chair, relaxing into the atmosphere. Mrs Stentham leans on her elbows holding her chin inbetween her closed fists. Her smile is wide as she sucks on her lower lip, joy ridding over her features.
"No nothing of the sort... quite the opposite actually..." She leans back and looks down towards her draws.
"Then what-" She pulls out a white envelope, my words catch in my throat.
"This... arrived here this morning." She hands it to me over the desk and I take the envelope with pinched brows, I turn it over with shakey hands and read the front. My name below the blue Julliard logo.
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My stomach churns and my breathing shallows even more- I'm not even sure if I am breathing anymore. I know I may sound ridiculous being this scared over whether I even got an audition or not but this is either the start or the end of my dreams- dramatic? Sure. But when has my life not been frigging dramatic. This letter is either the start of something undreamable or the end of everything I've worked for so far.
Mrs Stentham reaches across the desk and clasps my wrist gently.
"Don't look so worried. It's going to be alright Atlas!" She soothes, my eyes stay permanently glued on the logo, burning holes through the paper.
"I can't." I flip the envelope between my hands, the edges have become increasingly grubby in regards to the fact that it's not left my hands since I left Mrs Stenthams office. I haven't opened it yet and Blaze spent the whole drive home telling me he guarantees I'm panicking for no reason, whilst I focused on not vomiting in his car. He just kept smiling, holding my hand.
I kind of wanted to wait to open it with Blaze and his mom, she seems just as excited as me and in the past few months, we've grown closer than I ever thought I could again to a parent figure.
"It's going to be okay Atlas. Whatever's in there, we can work through it but I don't doubt for a second you haven't got an audition." Helen rubs my back reassuringly.
Just do it Atlas. Like she said, it's going to be okay.
"Okay... whatever will be... will be right?" I look to Blaze for confirmation and he smiles back at me with a small nod, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. It calms parts of me, my stomach settling slightly with his close proximity.
I peel back the fold with a small tearing nose but it sounds grating in the quiet kitchen, everyone waiting in panic and anticipation. I pull out the white letter inside and carefully unfold it at the three-fold points. I can hear my heart in my ears, you're not going to get an audition- you're not good enough.
I swallow thickly and skim through the addresses of the letter,
Dear Miss Grove.... Thank you for applying to Julliard.... We are delighted to invite you to an audition...
I don't realise tears have fallen from my eyes until Blaze wipes them away with his thumb, I clutch the letter tighter in my hands and turn to face him. He looks at me through his thick eyelashes, trepidation set in his eyes.
"I got an audition." I breathe, a starstruck smile falling onto my lips.
"I fucking told you butterfly." He pulls me into his chest placing a kiss on the top of my head. I relax into his minty sent, listening to his heart beat slightly faster than usual beneath his grey t-shirt. "I'm so proud of you." His arms squeeze me closer to him.
I've got an audition. I've got a fricking audition for Julliard. I-Okay... this is happening...
"I mean... I haven't actually got in, it's just an audition and the actual acceptance rate is like six percent so..."
"Shut the fuck up blondie." Blazes voice ripples through me warming my core, he dips his lips to mine and I feel the smile against my skin, I let out a chuckle.
"Charming as ever, my son." Helen scoffs shaking her head at Blaze.
"Oh she loves my asshole bluntness." He winks down at me and a shoot of energy zips through me.
"That I do." I pinch his bicep watching him mock grimace.
"Ouch, when did you turn into the hulk?" He jokes and I punch him trying to muster some force but the guy is made of muscle. He just hugs me closer.
"Well done my love," Helen squeezes my shoulder, "You deserve this. We better get flights booked and we can stay-"
"Wait, you guys don't have to come with me and I have enough in my savings to pay my way." I slowly pull away from Blaze stopping Helen, I don't want her to fork out more for me than she already has and I don't want to drag Blaze to New York even more than he has to as well.
"Like we'd fucking miss it, I told you I'll be there every step of this and everything else, even to New York." He squeezes my shoulder like he can read my mind.
"We both will. And... we can stay with my parents...they're desperate to meet you." Helen beams whilst I shrink at the thought of meeting more family.
"Hey." Blaze turns my face towards him, "They're going to love you... they already fucking do." He grins before dipping his head to place a soft kiss on my lips, security dripping through into me... meeting more family... yay. I baulk at the idea, I never got to meet my grandparents and the idea of such figures makes my skin crawl. I don't know how to act or behave or even feel.
"We're all really proud of you honey and we'd love to be there for you." Helen finally pries me from Blaze's grasp and pulls me into hers, her motherly instincts tug at me and emotion flows from my pores and sets the tears free from my lashline again.
I've got an audition for fricking Julliard.
🥵🥵😳❤️🔥
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