She's not at school today... that or she's avoiding me. I can only presume it was because of that kiss... well almost kiss.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!

Is she avoiding me because we nearly kissed?

Why did I nearly kiss her!

Even worse, why the fuck do I want to do it again... actually go through with it this time.

I bang my head against the metal of my locker and a groan escapes my parted lips. The hallway's deserted because it's lunchtime but there's no way I'm sitting at that table if she's not there.

But what if she is? Would she get up and walk away if I walk in?

Oh fuck me, when did you get so soppy Blaze... so fucking cliché? Wake up, why the fuck are you second-guessing yourself all of a sudden? This is why you can't have a girlfriend or anything of the kind. Atlas is just a friend and your mind is already obstructed by her.

Although... I want to kiss her so badly... I've been thinking about it since New Year's Eve at Rutherfords. When I held her in the hallway and our eyes met in a room full of people as the clock struck. I can't describe the static, blazing feeling it created. It was so strong... unlike anything else I've felt before.

It was a total heat of the moment thing anyway! Looking back it would have been an awful idea to go through with it. I wonder if that's why she's avoiding me? Maybe she hates me now? She looked like she wanted it as much as I did, I could feel her pulse under my fingers when I held her arms back, she even moved towards me- I'm sure she did... but then she shouted at me.

She literally screamed at me to get out of her house, saying it was a mistake to bring me there. She was on the verge of tears and I let my fucking anger control me, I stormed off. Like a stupid child.

I curse myself out into my locker shaking my head. I can't believe I left her with that guy, alone. I know she said she had strict parents but he was something else. I've been around a lot of... criminals and even their faces wouldn't amount to the pure anger and disgust on that guys face. He looked ready to shoot someone, steam blowing out of his ears. It was... almost frightening. She looked petrified, on the verge of tears.

Such a fucking idiot Blaze! Why did you strop off like a child, you shouldn't have left her!

I've had this unsettling feeling in my stomach ever since I drove off. I thought about calling or texting but quickly thought against it and threw my phone against a wall. Hearing the screen shatter was both a weird release and another dissipating thing to add to my résumé.

After much sulking around my locker in the empty hall, I decided to go see if she was in fact eating lunch at our table, at least seeing her physically might ease my mind slightly.

We should probably talk? That how it's done isn't it? People, who are friends who nearly kiss then avoid each other but don't want to lose what they had before- those kinds of people talk?

God, I hate talking. I think as I push open the door to the overflowing cafeteria, or in other words literal version of hell on earth. The tables are divided into their usual cliques including the 'popular girls' table headed by Hannah who all bat their eyelashes as I walk past. Some of them start feeling rather fucking entitled get rather when you've slept with them once. I cringe just thinking about it- they weren't even worth it. Definitely not now... there's only one person I want.

I can see Hannah getting up to approach me so I walk a little faster, occasionally hitting a kid with my duffel on my way to our table. I wade through the sea and eventually plop down next to Carrie. The first thing I notice- no Atlas.

"Where's Atlas?" I interrupt their conversation not really bothering to listen if anyone had stopped talking anyway. Carrie looks across at the guys, sharing some weird-ass look and Vixxie, who usually won't shut the fuck up, has nothing to say. They all share this knowing look around the table and my anger spikes, "What's going on?" I bark, a little harsher than intended.

"Well... we were going to ask you the same thing... we haven't seen her all day..." Carrie looks wearily at me but looks a little sheepish like she knows something else.

"And...?" I prompt, the table shares another knowing look and I grunt at them, "Is she sick or something?" I snap feeling Brady's worrying gaze on me.

"I uh- we're not sure. Have you... um... have you text her or tried calling her?" Carrie looks nervous, a weird half-smile settling above her jaw, I shake my head. Had she already told them what happened? "Try." Carrie nods to my smashed phone upside down on the table.

I pick it up and scroll up to Blondies contact, "Why? What's going on?"

"Just call it." The whole table squints at me as I raise my cell to my ear. It rings once then an overly sarcastic female voice fills the line 'The person you are trying to contact is not accepting calls right now.' Then it rings off leaving me staring at the screen.

"I think she's blocked us all. We've been texting all morning but they keep bouncing back. What's going on Blaze?" Carrie looks really worried. At least Blondie's not just avoiding me... but everyone... an unsettling lump in my throat makes this situation feel worse.

What the fuck is going on?

"I don't fucking know!" I huff across the table sending her multiple desperate texts that all resemble something like 'call me'. Each one comes back with a could not deliver message notification.

"You were the last one to see her... at the library... what happened after? Did she get home?" Vixxie asks quietly from the end of the table.

"Why are you interrogating me! You think I did something to her!" I shout a bit louder jumping to my feet. People from the surrounding tables turn to look at us and Brady grabs my arm pulling me back into my seat.

I would never hurt her! I can't believe they think I would! My anger pipes through my body feeling slightly betrayed, a feeling I've felt before many a time but never from the people, I'd consider friends.

"No one is saying that Blaze, we just wanted to know if anything seemed... abnormal to you," B says calmly.

"She was fine, we went back to hers to finish the project but I don't think she told her parents I was coming over and when her dad came home and was pretty mad. He was an asshole actually... " I pause glancing at the table whose eyes widen... fuck..."She did look really scared of him." Saying it aloud makes me sound like such a dick for leaving her alone with him and the clogs start whirring in everyone's minds.

"Did he look violent," Emily asks holding Rutherford's hand on the tabletop.

"He looked... nasty. Really nasty."

'Do you think he... did something to her?" Ethan asks concerned.

"I don't fucking know!" I snap again, why are they still interrogating me, I feel awful for leaving her and anything that happens is my fault, guilt infiltrates me weighing heavy on my chest. "He told me to leave and I did! I don't know what happened after alright!" I shout at them letting my anxiety control my rage.

What if she is really badly hurt. Fuck! This is all my fucking fault!

"Blaze! Calms down, chill. She's probably just got flu or something... maybe we should go to hers after school and check?" Brady holds my forearm and looks at me directly. I can see the fear in his eyes even though he's trying to conceal it. He loves Atlas too, they have a fucking weird-ass friendship. Everyone nods collectively around the table just as the bell rings and students start to disperse to their next lessons. As I get up Brady grabs my arm again,

"I know you're worried but we are too. Maybe her cell isn't in range or off. Don't think the worst okay? You can't control it and it's not your fault alright?" He says quietly in my ear holding my shoulder reassuringly. Like I said Brady knows me better than I know myself and he knows that if anything has happened to her I'm going to hold myself accountable.

The next few periods drag by. I wish I'd skipped but Brady convinced me to stay, my lack of attendance could get me kicked from the team and ruin my college chances, he stressed she was probably just sick but he's itching to leave as well. Never in my entire life has science been so fucking tedious. I usually like to sleep through bio but my leg is bouncing all over the place, anxiety running wild in my mind.

It's probably nothing. Stop getting so wound up!

The bell rings and leap from my seat, darting towards the parking lot. I'd agreed to take Brady, Carrie and Vixxie since they said they had homework to give to her or some shit but I swear to god if they don't hurry the fuck up I'm going to drive off without them. Carrie and Vixxie walk out of the hallway arms linked like they're about to go for a stroll.

"Come on! Hurry the fuck up!" I clench my jaw trying not to startle the students walking past me.

"We're coming! B's not even here yet." Carrie says with a slight smile. Brady isn't far behind and once I've shouted at him we all pile into my car and I tear out of the parking bay nearly hitting a few kids with backpacks the size of them.

"Chill Blaze! She's probably just got the flu!" Brady says from the front seat, holding onto the car door tensely. It could be nothing but... why would she look that scared of her own dad if something wasn't wrong?

The drive is quiet, I think the girls are just as worried but they're also upset that one of their best friends has completely blocked them. She's even radio silent on social media, managed to hide her account or delete it or something. Someone with flu doesn't block everyone's calls!

The tension in the car grows as I pull into her road, I think everyone has this really horrible unsettling feeling over them but no one wants to say anything. I park near where I did last time and get out of the car quickly. The estate looks much worse in the light, it didn't look great last night but now you can see every single piece of litter roaming the street, the awful graffiti on the sides of houses and rusted playground equipment in the grassless field across the street. The girls wrap their arms around themselves and look cautiously up and down the street and Brady just looks confused. None of them have actually seen where she lives... and I can understand why after last night.

"This was not where I picked her up from when we went to the carnival," Vixxie states looking slightly grossed out. Having all being bought up in big mansions I imagine this is a fucking culture shock for them all.

I ignore her and start walking towards her house. The wind whistles through the bare trees and grey clouds loom over us not making me feel any better. The whole place holds an eerie end of the world feeling and that only intensifies as we reach her door. Everyone stands behind me occupying the stone steps. We all look at each other apprehensively not saying anything. But their faces are paled and grim, something strange stirring in us all.

I knock loudly on the door with my knuckles being careful not to get fucking splinters under my skin. There's an overly pregnant pause with no answer. So I knock again. This time there's muffled shuffling from behind the door.

"I'm fucking coming!" Ricochets through the door, "What the fuck do you-" The door swings open, only slightly, enough for the man's chubby stomach to fit through the gap in the door. I can't see past him but unfortunately, I'm staring right at his pitbull face. His face is flushed which stands out against the few odd strands of wispy grey hair on his head. His eyes are bloodshot on top of the grocery sized bags under his overly dilated pupils. He looks weathered and it adds about ten years to his age, like he's nearing fucking retirement.

He's slouched in a yellow-stained wife-beater. The sleeveless material shows his discoloured green tattoo on his bruised arm. It looks like some kind of NFL team but it's so worn it could just be a nasty blob.

"YOU!" He snarls, closing the door even further, his stomach being squashed between the frame and the door, "What the fuck do you want? Who are you?" He peers closer at the guys behind me. The girls have recoiled into Brady, his arms protectively around their shoulders. They look taken back but Brady wears a face of disgust not removing his eyes from her dads face.

"Is Atlas in? We have some work-"

"She's sick." He deadpans, his eyes narrowing.

"Well can we see her, we just want to give her-" I step forward trying to look into the room behind him.

"Look. Kid. She's sick. She doesn't want to see you. LEAVE. DON'T COME BACK. " His face nears mine and his breath reeks of booze. Strong booze.

"We're not leaving-" He pushes me backwards and I just catch myself before I fall into the girls. I'm fuming. Anger bubbles in my veins, this guy is fucked in the head, "HEY! YOU FUCKING-" I run back up the steps but before I can reach him he slams the door in my face and Brady grabs hold of my shoulder. "Get the fuck off me B!"

I tear away from him and bang manically on the door, "I'M TALKING TO YOU. GET THE FUCK OUT HERE." I spit into the wood. What a fucking asshole. How dare he push me, I'm going to shove my fist so far down his throat it'll come out his ass. Fucking asshole. Atlas has to live with this jerk! Fuck! I'm not leaving her-

"BLAZE! STOP!" In my outburst, I hadn't heard Brady trying to coax me away from the door. He's tugging on my shoulders, "Calm the fuck down! it's not the time or place!" He forces me to spin around and I see the girls holding onto each other at the bottom of the steps, shocked and slightly scared, younger kids looking over from the playground and neighbours sticking their heads out of their doors. "She's sick. That's what her dad said."

"And look at her 'dad'! Tell me he's not lying Brady! How can we leave her to here with him!" I shout aware more of the neighbours are gathering in their gardens to see what was going on.

"We can't keep banging on his door like a fucking madman! We can't do anything." Brady looks guilty, he knows theirs nothing we can do but he doesn't want to leave either.

"We... we could... we could go to the police!"

"And say what? Our friends not been at school and her dad says she's got flu. We have no evidence Blaze." He says crestfallen. I ram my fist against the door again in one last attempt to pull him out but it doesn't work and Brady has to drag me down the steps back to the car. "If we've still not heard anything in a few days we can talk to someone at school... maybe she really just is sick and her dads an ass," I grunt and kick the tire on the front of the car, flopping onto the roof.

She can't be doing all this just to ignore me can she?

"Do you know what the oddest thing is?" Carrie leans back against the car next to me, "I recognise her dad." We all turn to look at her and she squints harder like she's trying to think, " He was a dad at my elementary school, I remember him at sports day. I didn't realise at first because he looked so much happier then and less... gross." Then her face pales and holds a frim expression, "The odd thing is... Atlas wasn't his daughter. It was a girl called Jenny. Jenny with dark black hair and brown eyes."

Hey guys! I'm so sorry I've left you on another cliffhanger;)

I've also been really awful with my updates at the moment, I've got exams in the next three weeks so I'm not going to be writing very much but I'll be finished with school soon and hopefully I'll get back into the swing of it :)

Thank you all for being so patient and supporting my book! I love watching all your comments come through 🥺 it really means the world!

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Have a good week! :) xx