Steam fills the small shower space as I press my hands against the cool tiles, little droplets of water run down the white ceramic pattern, stained over the years from ridding football induced sweat. You'd think having built a new field and athletics block they could at least thrown some dough at the showers. Brady's tuneless rendition of ABBA classics rings around the shower block, the wrangled notes adding to my irritation at Ethan's persistent whining about Carrie. Lord only knows why they haven't fucked yet, the sexual tension is unbearable and I'm getting pissed off hearing him pine over the situation.

Drops of hot water run down my aching muscles as I wash the sweat from practice off my face, coming up to Christmas break we've got a few games before and during the holidays so we're working our fucking asses off to get to state championships and then nationals. Call me egotistical but I'm forward-thinking... we've not lost a game yet and I'm making sure we don't plan to. We need to win nationals, I need to win as the captain at nationals.

"We just hung out at Ruby's but-" I groan running my hand down my tired face, Ethan peers around his shower cubical stopping his loved up speech to look at me with a confused expression.

"Seriously bro why don't you two just fuck already. Seriously." I moan Brady stops singing and nods along with me before he starts up another rendition of 'Lay All Your Love On Me' whipping Ethan's bare ass with his towel. He jumps at the lashes from the material making most of the guys heckle Brady on.

"It's not just that I want to 'fuck' her... I really like her... like really really like her. Maybe I love her..." he looks at the ceiling longingly reducing Brady and me into a fit of laughter that echos through the shower block. Soppy fucker. Love- what a joke.

"Don't listen to those dickheads. I get it, when I first started dating Emily it was just instant, you know?" Rutheford says from the cubicle beside mine, I can't help but that cackle at that too, when did this group turn into a bunch of pussys? Rutherford and Emily have been dating since we started at East Meddow and he's definitely the most equipped to give 'advice' on relationships since mine and Bradys 'relationships' revolve around a fuck and chuck basis.

"Yeah but the difference between you and Em and he and Carrie is you actually had the balls to ask her out and make her your girlfriend, You didn't cower like a pussy for years," I say Brady nodding in agreement with me as he starts to shimmy the towel around himself.

"Oh shut up!" Ethan shakes his head, his cheeks reddening slightly, "I do want to ask her out but... she's she... she's Carrie."

We all stare at him as if he's gone mad, "Uh yeah E, She's Carrie? Who else would she be...?"

"No I mean like... she's head cheerleader, top in most of her classes, on the student council, she's a Richmond!" He exclaims. God, I hate it when people compare themselves and spew out shit about being an 'underdog'. Grow up, names don't mean anything, at least they shouldn't. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ... or some shit.

"So...? You're linebacker with some of the best stats in the state, you're top of your class. Sure you're not on the ass licking student council but you're a decent dude." I turn the shower off and wrap a towel around my waist. Ethan nods at me pondering for a few seconds before a flash of shock resides in his features, then he slaps me on the shoulder in a grateful act.

"Yeah... yeah you're right. Imma do it!" He concludes looking too energetic after a long ass practice, "Thanks, Blaze." He gives me a small punch on the arm and we all walk out of the steam into the sweat stench locker room, various dirty towels and odd articles of clothing lay strewn about on the floor. I grimace at the lack of hygiene skills amongst this team, I bet half of them wouldn't know what a bar of soap was if it hit them in the face, they'd try and eat it thinking it was a kind of protein supplement. Pure fucking cavemen.

"It's weird... you being nice." Rutherford raises his eyebrows mockingly at me.

"Oh fuck off."

"In all fairness though you're hardly one to take the piss out of E for dodging around Carrie." He continues slouching onto the bench with his brows raised and one elbow resting on his knee like he's about to propose a business idea at a meeting in a board room, as I grab my duffle from my locker.

"What?" I drop my bag onto the bench, drops of water springing off my hair onto the fabric casting darker patches on the grey material.

"You know, with you and Atlas." He snickers and my shoulders tense slightly. What the fuck is he on about.

"You can't even deny it Blazey... we all see it." Brady pipes up with a grin, "The small smiles across the class, the time you spend watching her in practice, the texts you send, the fact that she completely changes your mood when you see her. You even took her to watch the lights turn on." Brady kisses my jaw and the guys gather around me all make stupid kissy faces. I swat them away with my fists as they dissolve into laughter.

"Firstly it was Gemma that invited her, how much of an ass would I be if I just said no and secondly we're friends, we have to work on this stupid project together." I sigh, maybe I do watch her at practice and smile at her but that doesn't mean I like her, does it? I think back to the conversation I had with my mom about how I was calmer and happier around her. So what if I do like her anyway, we're both be leaving at the end of the year so there's not much point in starting something that has to end.

Start something?

Fuck. I've never 'started something'. Why am I thinking about this shit now! Starting something would get in the way of football.

I shake my head, the pounding of thoughts confusing me.

"I don't know who you're trying to kid Blazey Boy," Brady whispers in my ear, making my body stiffen. I send him a deathly glare which only makes him chuckle. Brady knows me better than I know myself which is worrying at the best of times but annoying as fuck and extremely inconvenient at others.

"Blaze has got much more pride than to go out with a freak like Atlas Grove." A deep voice echos around the lockers and my fists immediately ball at my sides. How dare anyone call her a 'freak'. I spin around and find a few of my 'teammates' leaning against the cool metal locker doors, letterman's slung over their shoulders- almost like we're in a scene from fucking Grease- and Colter stood smugly slightly in front. I glare at the pig who took pride in knocking me down not a few weeks prior. His muscles bulk under his shirt but not in an attractive way, more the I've taken too many steroids and lifted too many weights way.

"What the fuck did you say, Colter?" I spit feeling the rage building inside of me. I have a good few inches on him and a more reliable muscle yet his ignorance to try and rile me up is interesting, no one would be stupid enough to purposefully antagonise me around here.

"Oh come on Beckett don't play coy. Only an idiot would be interested in a prude like her. She sits at the back of the class and only speaks when she's picked- flushing at the simplest questions, she has no friends and you should hear some of the rumours about her... she's not from around here you know, only transferred at the start of freshman year... I wonder why?" He smirks like he knows something unsettling, who cares if she moved from something- that's what I did but I can't deny the itch it ignites inside me. Who are you Blondie?

"See you're wrong Colter because we're her friends and that means if you upset her, you upset all four of us." Rutherford cracks his knuckles behind me, he has a temper nearly as close as mine but does a better job at keeping a lid on it, I've seen him fly off the handles once and that was when some guy tried to force himself on Em. That fucker deserved it, I was so close to helping him teach the perv a lesson but the cops showed up and we legged it. Took him hours to cool down.

"I mean sexy thing mind... phenomenal ass. I wouldn't mind coaxing her into -" That is it, I charge at him, swinging my fist into his jaw, watching red flurry down his face. He steps back eyes wide almost filling with tears. I grab his jacket before he can flee and shove him against the lockers with a loud bang, already I can feel the small area of the locker room filling with other students pushing each other to get front row seats of the drama. I push my face into his feeling him cower beneath my balled fists. His body tries to shrink into its self but I throw him repeatedly against the red locker doors hearing the bang vibrate through the floor.

"If you ever. Ever. Say anything about her again I swear to god I will beat you so hard you won't be able to walk let alone play football again." I spit through clenched teeth into his ear feeling the familiar rush of power surge through my veins again but this time I'm doing it for her. I let my grip go when he looks like he's about to cry. He drops to his feet wheezing slightly, he turns to leave but I grab him one more time and take his chin between my thumb and finger, watching the blood ooze from his mouth and nose, "And if you tell anyone about this- I'll tell coach about the girls you fucked in here the other day. You know that'll be an immediate suspension." I raise an eyebrow at him challengingly, I know blackmail is the lowest of the low but nobody gets away with saying that disgusting shit about Blondie. He nods quickly and runs out of the locker room holding his face.

I turn to look at the guys, Rutherford's got a grin bigger than the moon, Ethan nods at me stoically but Brady holds a weary smile and the feeling of power is immediately replaced with guilt. I know he's just worried, he doesn't want it to get out of hand again, it pained him to see me turn into an angry shell of a kid but I can control it. I can control it.

"Just friends my ass." Rutherford laughs as he chucks me my bag and we head out of the locker room still being watched by several pairs of eyes bulging out of their heads. Suddenly my phone rings in my pocket and I pull it out looking at the number intently. I scowl at the New York dialling code and quickly block the number feeling the frustration seep back in. It's like he's watching me. It vibrates again-

You can't ignore me forever son. Come home. Where you belong. We're the same DNA- it's in our blood. You'll never get rid of it, put it to use.

I freeze re-reading the message, what if he's right, what if I never can get rid of the rage? I've been trying so hard and it's been working for the most part but as I just proved, I still fly off the handlebars. NFL players don't do that. What if I'm just fucking kidding myself, maybe Alabama know what happened and that's why they've not contacted me.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I delete the message and storm down the halls feeling conflicted and angry.

I watch a blur of blonde hair plop down across the table from me, blue lace ribbons pulling back small parts at the front of her face. Atlas smiles up at me and I already feel calmer, her blush lips turn into a slight frown and I realise I'm staring, probably with a face of thunder.

"Hey, you okay?" She pulls an apple out of her bag, her pale pink cardigan sleeve raises slightly and my eyes zone in on the discolouration of her skin around her wrist, my heart rate spikes. What the fuck is that? Her eyes widen when she sees what I'm looking at and quickly pulls her sleeve down. "I got gripped too hard in cheer when our pyramid nearly fell." She mumbles forcing a slight chuckle. I narrow my eyes, I don't believe she got something that bad from- "I'm fine Blaze but what's up with you?" She takes a bite of her apple quickly flipping the situation then her eyes find my knuckles. She leans across the table dropping the apple from her mouth and takes my hand in hers, dwarfing her tiny fingers.

"What happened?" She gasps running her thumb across my bruised knuckles. Fire spreads through my arm and down my spine, she leans closer. Her vanilla scent floating around me. I smile slightly at her concerned features.

"Oh, he beat Colter in the locker room." Ethan shrugs like it's the most normal thing in the world. All heads whip around to gawk at him. He shrugs again non-concomitantly and I immediately want to punch him right in the nose, fucking idiot!

"Why'd you do that?" Atlas' small voice has me facing her again, her blue eyes pooling up at me with worry.

"Because he was- ow!" Brady slaps Ethan in the stomach before he can tell her what they said about her.

"He was what?" Carrie prods, Ethan looks at me wearily and I shake my head, she doesn't need to know what happened, "Don't try and silence him!" Carrie prods her finger at me and turns back to Ethan with a harsh stare, he wriggles but ends up blurting out what happened. I watch Atlas carefully as he tells the story. Her face morphing into an upset expression, I squeeze her hands and smile lightly, I hate seeing her look so sad knowing it's my fault she ven got this attention in the first place.

"You didn't need to do that for me, Blaze, don't get in trouble on my behalf." She rasps unable to meet my gaze. Brady pulls her into his side but I don't let go of her hands. I want to be the one to confront her, selfishly, but I created this mess.

"I don't and I didn't. He's an asshole who deserved nothing less than what I gave him. He should have gotten more." I affirm. Her obvious care answers my earlier question, I can control my anger, I have control over it. These last few altercations have all been over Atlas- not that it's a bad thing but she's what I'm fighting for. You protect the ones you care about and I care about her.

We spend the rest of lunch discussing our pending Christmas break but even though she's trying to keep up a smile I can see the hurt residing behind her eyes. I throw a wrapper at her in an attempt to get her to laugh but she gives me a weak smile, draws a silly face on it and throws it back to me.

"Hey! We should all go ice skating!" Brady says triumphantly, the girls seem happy but we all know one of the coaches rules is no overly dangerous activities over holidays. He mainly aims it and boys like Connor who's parents fly out to the Alps every winter, the ones who can afford shitty skiing holidays and chalet partys where someone falls off a roof and breaks a leg under the influence of alcohol. If we break or injure something we're out for the foreseeable future and that is something I take very seriously.

"You know we can't Brady." I huff.

"Oh come on we'll just be careful!" He counters whining like a puppy. I look at Ethan and Ruthford who wear the same indecisive expressions until Emily leans on Ruthefords shoulder with big does eyes and a practised pout, like a puppet he gives in.

"Fine! But if we break anything it's on Brady!" He huffs earning a small cheer from the girls.

"I can live with that." B shrugs then turn to me silently pleading.

"Come on Blaze, I'll hold your hand if that'll make you feel better." Atlas smiles quietly nibbling on her lower lip. She seems happier and fuck! When she bites her lip all I want to do is bend her over the fucking table.

"Fine. I'll go." I give in. But only because you asked.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️