"I don't understand this crap!" Blaze huffs, his head resting on top of his arms slouched on the table. He'd been like this for the past hour of French class. He refused to do any work and kept poking me with a sodding pencil, "I'm bored!" He whines, "French is a waste of time!" He says a little louder, a few of the students turning to look at our row of desks. He'd made a point of sitting next to me again at the start of the semester and I'd discovered he was like this most lessons, this or he'd just sleep.

Although not only is he managing to annoy me today it seems in her midst of teaching Mrs Lappel has become aware of Blaze's persistent moaning.

"Mr Beckett, if you wouldn't mind awfully answering this question, I do presume that's the only reason you're talking whilst I'm teaching." She says in her heavy thick accent.

"Of course Miss, I'm just so eager to translate, " He mocks sarcastically. Unfortunately, the French teacher, bless her, is none the wiser and is under the impression Blaze is being serious. She points to a sentence on the board- I have three brothers, two sisters and live in Atlanta. My favourite sport is football.

But what Blaze reads is, "Voulez- Vous coucher avec moi." The class erupts into a fit of laughter, Blaze sits there smug whilst Mrs Lappels face twists in anguish, I'm sure I can even see her eye twitch from all the way back here, I too let out a little giggle.

"You find that funny Blondie? It's a legit offer." He winks. I've become accustomed to Blaze's flirtatious nature but it doesn't mean I don't get flustered, I know it's just harmless flirting and he does it to all the girls but christ it makes me all red.

"Miss Grove since he has been talking to you maybe you'll have the answer for me." Mrs Lappel stares at me with the same disgusted look she has for Blaze, hand on hip challenging my behaviour. Branded by association.

"Uh... it's uh...J'ai trois frères, deux sœurs et je vis à Atlanta. Mon sport préféré est le football." I say quietly, her furrowed brows lift gradually and her stare becomes a lot more neutral accompanied by a line of shock. I very rarely speak put in class, only if I'm forced too but I'm alright at French.

"Tres bien." She nods walking back to her book-filled desk. She returns to explaining the different French tenses whilst I can feel Blaze looking over my shoulder at the pages of my French notes.

"How are you so good at this shit? I can barely speak English properly." He mumbles into my ear.

When my mom was a professional dancer, she travelled and worked all around the world. She mainly did Italian, Russian and French ballets since that's what's they're best known for and produce the best ballet productions. She was quite the star in the dance world, if you did ballet professionally or worked amongst those who did, you'd know who my momma was. Since she spent a lot of time in France, initially and Russia. She picked up the lingo rather fluently and used to speak to me and my sister in French a lot. I've also become fluent in some areas considering the majority of ballet terminology is French it's easy to pick things up when you can dance.

"My mom spent a lot of time in France, she used to speak to me in it."

"Used too?" I freeze, I'm used to thinking about my momma in the past tense and nobody here- except the guidance councillor and principle- know I'm adopted.

"I mean she does, because she does... you know. Why would she just stop right?" I bite the insides of my cheeks forcing a small laugh out. Blaze stares at me curiously, the stare is intense like I can feel him channelling me, reading my thoughts like he knows I'm lying. After the moments of the intense gaze, he goes back to doodling on the desk.

I'm not ashamed of being adopted... its what comes with it I'm ashamed of.

I walk into the cafeteria by myself batteling through the mass crowds of people, searching for our usual table. It's like feeding time at the zoo, ravenous teenagers running around trying to get to the front of the lunch queue before the best lunch item sells out, it's burgers and fries today I think.

Since I'm so frigging short I often get swept away in the tide and end up not being able to get to the table. When it's finally in sight I manage to propel myself through the last bit of crowd and nearly fall onto the table where Blaze is leaning back on the bench.

"Whoa, what's the hurry butterfly?" He chuckles leaning forward and placing his arms onto the cold metal. He's picked up a new nickname for me since I went to his the other night.

"Nothing, I just had to push myself through six-foot teenagers." He laughs.

"Yeah, what's it like down there?" He jabs.

"Well, your head must get wet being so high up." I jab back. Danm that was... that was a frigging dad joke. Ground swallow me up right now! I wince and Blaze chuckles lightly.

"That was an awful comeback but Touche little one..." He taps his fingers on the table looking slightly uncomfortable, his gaze drifts off to the lunch queue, "Look uh thanks for what you taught my sister the other day, she hasn't stopped talking about you and ballet since you left mine."

"Left yours...?" Vixxie startles me as her and Carrie flop down and unpacks their lunch, Blaze quickly picks up his phone and busies himself ignoring her question. "What were you doing there?" Vixxie whispers, moving her eyebrows up and down.

"Oh shush, we were just doing the happiness project shit," I mumble back.

Suddenly both our phones ping, Carrie's sent a message to our girls' group chat.

I roll my eyes and kick Vixxie under the table, she still hasn't dropped this sodding 'ship' name, she sends me random texts simply containing this stupid 'ship name'.

We're bought up from our phones by the boys sitting down next to Blaze. I know its rude to sit on your phone whilst you have company but I don't think Blaze was that phased, like most of his classes he's sat there right now just tapping away, face like thunder keeping himself to himself.

Carrie sends me a smug smile which makes Vixxie smile but I just shake my head, gossip vultures.

"Whats crackalakin ladies, I have an offer you will not be able to refuse." Brady smiles cheekily and runs his hand through his hair like he's just got out of the shower and it needs to be pushed out of his eyes.

"What is it?" I prompt, still looking at his smug face.

"We're all going to the carnival tonight." He throws his arms out like he's had the most revolutionary idea. The carnival sits just outside of Brookhaven around this time of year, I've never been but I wouldn't mind experiencing it.

A ricochet of groans rings around the table.

"We're not five B." Blaze moans, he's become a lot more vocal around the group in the last few weeks. He used to just be broody and standoffish, very guarded but now he inputs a lot more, I like hearing him speak. His voice is deep and sends chills down my spine.

"I'm not taking no for an answer! We used to go all the time Blazey! Come on it'll be fun."

"When we were fucking eight."

"Please, please please." Everyone moans and grubbles but Brady looks across the table at me with a knowing smile, "I know Atlas will come..." He teases.

"Well, I... I uh... I mean yeah... I've never been to the carnival." I shrug.

There are a few exasperated gasps.

"You've never been to a carnival?!" Carrie asks shocked, I shake my head. I remember very vaguely my momma taking me to one in Illinois when I was younger.

"Well, in that case, I guess we have to go," Ethan says and much to Brady's excitement everyone nods their heads.

"Blaze?" Brady grins.

"Fine. Count yourself lucky Blondie." He murmurs.

Rutherford waltzes up to the table with a girl tucked into his side, a camera draping from her neck and a flower clip holding back a section of her thick black hair.

"Hey guys, this is my girlfriend Emily, do you mind if she sits with us." Emily gives us a small wave and sits down opposite me, her eyes hold a red tinge to them as they sag in sadness. The boys start conversating about the next game, so I take it upon myself to talk to Emily.

Just say hello and ask her if she's okay.

It's simple.

"I'm Atlas." I smile at her and she looks up carefully, studying my face with a smile.

"Emily."

"Are you... are you okay?" I ask and she deflates again.

"Yeah... no... it's just friendship stuff," She smiles weakly.

"Do you want to talk about it? If not that's cool but I'm here to lend an ear if you do..." I smile warmly, I know what it's like to feel pushed out by friend groups. I didn't have many friends back in Illinois, partially because I was too busy with dance and pushed people away but also because no one seemed to like me. I'm not sure why... they just thought I was weird. Then when I came to East Meddow I purposely stayed away from 'friends' for obvious reasons but I still felt sad I didn't have any.

She sits and ponders for a moment looking at me curiously then says the most unusual thing, "I don't know why they hate you so much, you don't even know me and you're already offering to listen to my problems." she shakes her head lightly.

Hate me? Who hates me? I give her a confused look and so does Blaze who I realise has been watching our little interaction. What's she talking about?

"Hate me? Uh... who hates me..." I mumble, my hair falling slightly in front of my eyes, a look of regret flashes across her face, her eyes growing wide quickly.

"Hannahs group, I... I thought you knew... that's the group I'm having friendship issues with. They kind of have It out for you and well you know..."

Emily seemed like a reasonably nice girl so I was shocked to find out she was actually part of Hannahs group but I was more upset about the fact they hate me and 'had it out for me'. I know they don't like me very much but I presumed that was just because I didn't have their level of wealth or because I'm not drop-dead gorgeous like them. I can understand they're mad because I've jumped onto the cheer team without buying my way onto it but did I do something to upset them?

Hate? They hate me? I-

"I'm sorry Atlas, I didn't mean to upset you. They're really not worth it though, just stuck up barbie bitches." She sends me a sympathetic smile but I can feel my pulse quickening. Stop being stupid Atlas it's just some mean girls, right? But what if other people all see me that way.

"Oh no, don't worry you didn't," I wobble out, my voice catching in my throat. I don't want her to feel bad. At this point, I can feel everyone looking at me and my cheeks reddening in embarrassment, "I've got to go... stuff to do... homework..." I mumble as I get up from the bench and grab my bag.

I push through the crowd until I'm out in the main hallways where it's completely quiet apart from the sound of my laboured breathing.

Have I done something to upset her? Should I apologise?

"Hey, Butterfly..." I jump at the deep voice that resonates off the lockers. Blaze walks down the hall before he leans his leather-clad back against the lockers next to where I'm stood.

'Oh uh, hey!" I say overly enthusiastically trying to hide the fact I'm upset. I shouldn't be upset, I don't even know the girls but I don't want anyone to hate me. I've had too much of that in my life.

"Don't stress about Hannah and her bitches, why do you care if they don't like you?" Blaze shrugs nonchalantly.

"That's easy for you to say," I mumble scuffing my feet against the ground. He raises his eyebrows at me for me to continue, "You know, you walk around here like you don't care about anything or anyone but somehow everyone respects you. I care because in case you haven't noticed- I've always been the recluse that sits at the back of the class with no friends and I finally have friends... I don't want everyone to think I'm this... this... this... UGH! How do you do it?!" I don't realise the anger that's pent up until I hear how loud I've raised my voice. I pull my hair in front of my eyes and refuse to look at Blaze. I don't think he's the type of person who takes being shouted at lightly.

"Atlas, Jesus, I stopped caring about what people thought of me when I realised I didn't give a fuck about their opinions, I was happy with what I was doing and if people don't like it, they can do one- it's no skin off my back. Fuck them." He shrugs again but turns to look at me, moving closer. "You're a nice person Blondie, you're not going to lose friends because Hannah doesn't like you." He gives me a small smile, " People only respect me because they're scared of me and I'm good at football. It's popularity over truth and kindness at East Meadow. I shouldn't be respected- I'm an asshole."

"You're not that bad." I murmur, his expression softens slightly, "What I mean is... like... since I've hung around with you... you're not as big an asshole as you look. You're smart and I.. guess you can be kind." I blush, Blaze is a good guy... he just has his guard up to protect the mysteries that lay underneath.

"Well uh...thanks Blondie... I guess you're just used to my bullshit now" He lets out a small awkward cough that makes me chuckle slightly before he pushes himself off the lockers. Giving me one last quizzical look he walks back down the hallway.

"And I noticed you... the 'recluse'... I used to notice you all the time... sat at the back... the Blondie with beauty and brains." He calls over his shoulder,

"Fuck everyone else and their opinions Atlas."

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