Today was the weekend and my parents were going out of town. I didnt feel like going so i decided to stay with my grandma for the weekend. Andrea was staying with me and we were gonna go out and what not.

I cant stop thinking about ethan and everything...Its killing me not being able to talk to him and tell him how I actually feel.

You dont understand the love that i have for this boy. You dont understand how bad he affects me. How much he makes me smile. how much he makes me happy. How much he makes me feel. Hes the love of my life and always will be. nothing can ever change that. I always say sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need eachother to fall back together and thats what happened. He makes me feel a type of way no one else can. He makes me happy like no one else can. Every inch of him is perfect. Inside and out. His personality is one of the greatest things. Hes so outgoing, andventorus, loving, kind, caring, funny, thoughtful, sincere, crazy, positive. He's beautiful. Hes a beautiful person. He always has the positive energy. Nothing can take him down. Hes a fighter. He doesn't let anything get in his way, he doesn't give up. he doesn't let people tear him down. He stands above and is himself 1000% of the time. Hes never someone else. Even if he isnt having a good day he will always have a smile on his face and make other people smile. He always puts others before himself. He's genuine. He loves anything and everyone. Doesn't matter who you are or what you did to him. He forgives. He never holds a grudge. Everytime im around him theres always a smile. I get butterflies thinking about him. I get butterflies when hes in the same room as me. I smile when i hear his name. I smile when i hear his voice. I get butterflies at his touch. Chills run down my spine throughout my whole body. He makes me laugh. He helps me through the tuff times. He listens. He listens to you and your problems and lets you talk. He doesn't interrupt. dosent tell you whats right and wrong. Dosent critizie you and what you do or how you do it. Hes just there. comforting you. telling you its gonna be okay. Saying that no matter how hard it is it will get better and you will get through it. Tells you not to worry and that hes here for you no matter what. He has the sweetest heart. He cares. Hes goofy. Loves doing crazy things. Hes a crazy person but i love it. He may do the most stupidest things but i love him. Hes adventurous. He likes to explore, travel, discover knew things. He's fascinated by life and how the world is. He wants to learn. He wants to find new things. Going to the middle of nowhere and making it the time of a lifetime. Making it a memory. Oh is he all about memories. He can never get enough of them. There special to him. They make him happy. Make him never forget the good times that hes had. He makes them every day. doesn't matter what he does. He makes them and he cherishes them. he knows the value of things. hes great with kids. Always makes them laugh. Has fun with them. Plays with them. His laugh. Oh my god his laugh. Its like a song. A song that i could never get sick of hearing. A laugh that i wanna hear 24/7. A laugh that makes the whole room smile. He laughs all the time. Its cute. It makes me smile. Seeing his bright white smile with cute little giggles coming out of him. With his brown eyes lighting up. His touch is warm and soft. Hes so gentle he wouldnt hurt a fly. His soft lips with this perfect straight white teeth, to when he shows it it brights up the whole world. To his sparkling brown eyes who are not only soft and sweet but probably one of the most intimidating eyes youll ever see. His facial structure that's perfect. His long curly brown hair with a nice little color streak in the front. With his tan, muscular body that squeezes you so tight. His warm bear hugs. He usually doesn't let you hug his waist. He likes when you hug around his neck. Wanna know why? It's because he likes picking you up. spinning you around and squeezes you tight. He doesn't let go. He never wants to. He barriers his head into the crook of your neck and shoulder but when your hugging him from the waist and you look up at him. He stares into your eyes, gives you the cutest little smile and kisses you softly not only on the lips but your forehead. Sleeping with him is like hugging a teddy bear. His warm body against yours. With his arm around you holding you as tight as he can. His head in the crook of your neck. His breath hitting against your skin as it sends chills down your body. When he whispers "i love you" god is that the greatest thing you can hear. When he says "i love you" The way he says it makes me smile. Thinking about him saying it makes me smile. He says it so softly. So gentle. Just a simple "I love you" but in a soft tone with a real meaning. He means it when he says it. Not a quick "i love you". A soft and slow I love you. Expecially whens hes saying it straight to you. He grabs the side of your cheeks. Rubbing his thumb slowly over them while looking into your eyes. At first he gives you a small smile and then goes to his serious face and slowly tell you he loves you and then after he tells you, he gives you the biggest smile that makes your heart melt. He makes my heart melt. Hes the best thing that has ever happened to me. The one thing I can never imagine leaving. The one thing thats always going to be by my side. The one person im gonna love endlessly no matter how hard it gets or how much it hurts. The one person im gonna love for the rest of my life. He. is. my. person. He is. that. person. and i love him. I will never stop. Ethan Dolan Will be my one and only.