*Play touch it by ariana grande*

Its my birthday today and Im finally turning 17. Im honestly getting old haha.

Jackson is coming to my birthday dinner. He got over the whole fair thing. Finally. Andrea was supposed to come to the birthday dinner but since were going to Disney for the weekend she has to miss softball so her mom is making her go to softball practice tonight.

I mean I guess its okay. Jackson is meeting my whole family tonight. Im kinda nervous for him because well its my whole family and there pretty crazy.

Every year for my birthday Dinner I alwayyssss get dressed up. So i wore this yellow dress with some flower print on it and some brown heels. My hair was straight and makeup was done.

my parents got ready and then we headed off to dinner. they whole ride there me and Jackson were holding hands.

when we got there we waited for everyone to arrive and when they did Jackson met everyone. Everyone seemed to like him and everyone was pretty happy.

we all sat down, ate and laughed. It was a pretty good birthday.

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It was Thursday and it was the day we are leaving for Disney. I was sooo freaking excited. My cousin, aunt, uncle and family and then andrea was all coming and its gonna be so much fun!!!

it was time andrea got out of school and we picked her up and then headed off. This weekend is gonna be a blast.

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We decided to go a park before everything closes. We went to Epcot first. Epcot is honestly really boring. Its just a bunch of food and a bunch of school things. Things that we would learn in school. there were some cool rides there. One ride is called racetrack. You get in car and go through all the obstacles and then go 60 miles and hour down a "track". oh and soaring is pretty cool. Its like you go around the world.

"pictures?" Andrea asks.

"yeahh" I say smiling.

my dad takes the pictures and we take multiple of them.

After that I get a text from Jackson. we talk a little bit and then he gets mad. Once again. He doesn't think I wanna talk to him. which is annoying because I always wanna talk to him. He always thinks this when its not true and its so annoying.

"everything okay" Andrea asks.

"ehh" i say while we walk back to the car.

"is it Jackson" she asks. I knod

"Allison you need to just stop texting him right now. You need space from him. Your on your trip. He is ruining it for you. don't you see that?" she says.

"i know i know" i say looking down.

Maybe Andrea's right. maybe i do need to get some time away and leave him alone. He's gonna ruin this trip by fighting with me. which i don't want.

Couple hours later*

we were back at the hotel and me my cousin and Andrea were all chilling in the hot tub. we just wanted to chill and relax before tomorrow.

"sooo lets spill the tea" amber says. Ambers my cousin. She's more like a sister than a cousin to be honest. I just sit there watching her and Andrea talk about there problems.

"ally what's wrong" amber asks.

"its Jackson, he's being an asshole" Andrea says.

"Andrea!!" i say looking at her.

"what, its true" she says sitting back.

"what's he doing?" amber asks.

"what is he not doing" i say rolling my eyes. Andrea tells Amber what's going on and what all he's doing. She's telling me the same thing Andreas been telling me. To move on, find someone better. Maybe there right. Maybe I should move on and fid someone better.

"you know ally i haven't told you this because I didn't want to make you upset but Jackson has talked shit about you before." she says not making eye contact with me.

"wait what" i say quietly.

"you know how you said you didn't want to have sex and how he told you the exact same thing" she says. I knod.

"well in class he's telling a bunch of people that you wont do anything with him and every time he tries to you move his hands away" she says looking down.

"are you serious?" i ask.

" you know i wouldn't lie to you" she says.

"wowww" i say looking around.

"ally if he's saying those things I think you-"

"i got it!" i say getting out.

"Allison-" amber says.

"just let her go and cool off." Andrea says.

I cant believe he's said that to other people. He told me he didn't want to do that stuff. He told me he wanted to wait. He told me that he wasn't like that. He told me all this stuff yet it was all lies coming out of his mouth.

and the worst part is. I cant say anything because it happened a couple weeks ago, so why would it matter now.

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we got out of the hot tub and went back upstairs to the hotel room and got ready for bed. We had a big day tomorrow and I was hella excited for it.

Next day*

it was Friday and today we were going to Hollywood studios. Hollywood studios was honestly fun. There was so many cool things at this park. It was based on back in the day kind of things. Lots of shows and plays. There were two rides there that was honestly the best thing in the world. Rockin roller coaster and tower of terror. Iconic rides ever.

"soo we have fast passes to both rockin and tower of terror but rockin is only a 15 min wait if you want to do that before or fast passes" my dad says.

we all smile and knod and go wait in line for rockin roller coaster. even though we had fast passes for it later. Why not ride it two times.

after we ride that ride we get on tower of terror and then back on rockin for our fast pass. after those two big rides we eat lunch what some theater stuff and by that time it was mid day. We went back to the hotel and rested while we waited for my aunt to get her. That's when the real party started.

Saturday*

It was Saturday. Day 3 in the Disney trip and we were at magic kingdom all day. We took more pictures, ate tons of food, road lots of rides and had fun. This trip was honestly the best. Besides the fact me and Jackson have been fighting ever since i left. it was honestly stupid. He thinks i don't wanna talk or i'm not happy in this relationship or i don't want to be in the relationship but i do. even when it gets hard.

Saturday Night*

it was 11 almost midnight and we were just now heading back to the hotel. Jackson was still going off on me and honestly i didn't even care anymore. I'm at the point where i just wanna end it. I cant take the fighting anymore. Its just tiring and to stressful. trying to get him not mad at me anymore for things that i didn't even do.

some things calmed down between us and I was taking my makeup off. I opened his text and my heart immediately dropped....

"do you still have feelings for Ethan?" he asks. I just stare at the words. It running through my head. Thoughts going over and over. Memories flooding back.

obviously I couldn't tell him I'm still in love with him. What girlfriend would.

"no why would you think that" i say back.

"the way you talk about him" he says

Yeah I talk about him. He was my everything. I only talked about Ethan in front of him once. And what i said was that he's a good guy and good friend.

What am i saying. I talk about him all the time. I smile when I talk to him. I get butterflies in my stomach when I hear his name or when i talk about him. He's everything to me. His personality. His smile. god his smile was the perfect thing. Perfect straight white teeth. It lit up the whole room. His smile made other people smile. It made other people happy. His eyes. The pretty brown that sparkles in the sun. The ones that can be so sweet and incite but also so hot and intimidating.

He's so gently and sweet and kind. He's just. Perfect. I still love Ethan and I need to stop telling myself I don't because I do. I need to stop lying to myself.