Draco ran off ahead of me, I just caught my bearings by the time he was out the door. I heard him shout out to me to hurry up but I couldn't. I was so mixed up, my brain couldn't even focus to put one foot in front of the other. Suddenly I was back to when I froze with Pansy which felt like a million years ago, I tried my best to go over all the things she had told me but none of them were working.

I took a deep breathe and I was on my way, whether this was right or wrong.

By the time I had reached the commotion dust had filled the air, I could barely make out who was who although the bright pink suit could stand out through anything.

My sight was becoming clearer as the dust returned back down to the ground, there stood Draco with Cho's robe clutched in his hand. I could see the smile on his face from here, I knew the victory would of illated him. A stroke of jealousy twisted through my gut seeing him hold on to Cho, I could of laughed there and then at myself at how ridiculous my mind now worked. Here he was holding someone up who had been forced to talk, a whole wall had been blown down, a group of students about to be punished for something I don't even think was true and here I was stood at the back..jealous. I needed to get a grip.

I stayed a few steps behind the group as if it mattered, like if I was just a little distance away I wasn't really involved and hadn't really agreed. But I was involved and at some point in time I had agreed. I shook my head to try remove the guilt building inside my mind, the moment I looked up I caught a glimpse of the thing I was trying to avoid...Harry's face.

He stared at me for only a short moment but it seemed to last forever, each millisecond his eyes stayed on me I felt the cold reality of regret impact every nerve in my body. His eyes weren't filled with the anger I anticipated instead they were filled with something much worse, something that made me feel so small, so unbelievably disgusting. They were filled with sadness. Soul crushing sadness.

I slowly backed away from the group, they were to distracted by the events that were unfolding to even notice me. The rush of panic came over me, I needed to go. I needed to get out of here. I sprinted as fast as I could down all the corridors and up the stairs. My chest was so heavy I could barely breathe but I couldn't stop running I needed to get away from this, from everything. I threw all my weight at the door, it burst open causing it slam back and hit the wall behind it. My chest was so tight and even though I tried so hard I couldn't help the sobs that came from within me. I reached my bed and in defeat swamped my pillow with my tears.

I knew that seeing Harry's face wasn't the only reason for my upset, I knew it was more deep rooted than just that. Everything that had hurt me or scared me in the last few months was uncontrollably pouring out of me. Between the tears I turned my head to look out at the sun slowly falling in the sky, the ray of light that was bursting through my window made its descend and as it did it bounced off something in my room. I twisted my head up to see where the light had reached and there was the picture of my mother and her friend surrounded by a mirrored frame with a dancing rainbow of light jumping off it.

The picture was perfect, taken at exactly the right moment. Both of them hysterically laughing, each with their arm around one another. I reached up and held the picture in my hands to get a better look at them both, I wondered if they were like me and Pansy. Constantly laughing and could read each other like a book.

I wanted to show Draco the picture, so he could see my mother. I unclipped the hinges that held the frame together and slid the picture into my pocket.

Just as I felt another wave of sadness coming over me I heard the squeak of a floorboard.

"Knock, knock." Pansy's face appeared round the corner of the doorway, a delicate smile sat on her face.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok? I figured you'd be here after you disappeared." She walked slowly over to the end of my bed before perching herself down.

"Yeah...I'm ok...honestly. I don't really know what came over me..I just needed to get away." I sniffled slightly.

"It's fine, honestly! Well anyways I think we are going to have a couple celebratory drinks in the common room. Umbridge is far too obsessed with hounding Harry to be worried what we get up to. Might help take your mind off whatever's going on up there."

God did I know I needed that, I would love to be able to just shut away my mind and all the intrusive thoughts even if it was only for a minute but I knew I didn't have the energy, I didn't have the willpower to sit there and not shed a tear or have too much to drink and have a full blown meltdown.

"Thanks but I think I'm just going to get some rest, maybe another time" Pansy nodded her head and smiled before reaching for the door and closing it behind her gently.

Even though the sobs had run out the tears hadn't. All I wanted was my mother or my father or even my sister to tell me what to do, to tell if what I was doing was right or wrong. If the person that they raised me to be was the same person lying on this bed. I closed my eyes slowly to preview the film of memories I played over in my head endlessly, even though I feared each time that the memory was slightly different, that maybe their voices had changed or clothes they were wearing were wrong. I feared that each day I was without them I was drifting further away from them.

Without realising I had fallen into a deep sleep, the exhaustion of my built up emotions had clearly taken it out of me. My sleep became lighter and lighter until I could feel the touch of someone stroking my cheek. My eyes fluttered as the distorted image of a blonde haired boy became clearer.

"Hi.." my eyes focused on his face.

"Hi" his voice was a whisper. "I just wanted to see if you were ok, Pansy said you didn't feel very well". I was thankful for Pansy's white lie, she knew that Draco wouldn't understand why I was upset and she knew he'd probably only make it worse. One of the many reasons I was grateful for her.

"Erm.. yeah but I'm feeling a little better just tired." I tried my best to crack a smile onto my face.

He brushed his hand over my temple and into my hair. "Ok, well I'll go and let you rest." He began rising back to his feet as my impulse shot my hand forward up to meet his.

"You could stay for a little bit...if you'd like. I mean maybe just till I fall back to sleep or something." I waited for a verbal response but instead the one I got was even better. He lifted up my duvet and gestured me to move up.

Just seeing him like this filled my body with an instant calm. Seeing him just lying in a bed relaxing, calm and looking straight at me gave me the warmest feeling of conpletition. He was the ring leader to the group of people in that common room right now celebrating yet he was here with me. He was all mine.

Despite the fact I had never in my life shared a bed with a boy let alone a single bed barely big enough to fit one person in I felt surprisingly subdued. I wasn't nervous, or anxious I was just happy. He smiled at me again before lifting my head slightly in order to move his arm underneath pulling me closer to him again. I rested my head onto his chest and almost immediately began to fall back into my sleep. I felt his other arm come over my torso and gently he gave a light squeeze and even though it was nowhere as exciting as laying on the sofa with him earlier for whatever reason it impacted my heart more.

Then the sleep came easier then ever before.

I woke to the sun glaring through my window I shut my eyes down hard trying to adjust to the light when I realised that he was still here. He never left me. Whether intentional or not he was still with me. I watched as his chest slowly rose and fell, I could of laid here forever just watching him so peaceful but the silence was broken my a large croak from across the room.

"Oh my god please someone close that fucking curtain."

Draco took a large intake of breath before opening his eyes in shock. I turned my body round to see Pansy's disheveled look. I couldn't help but let out a snigger.

"Morning beautiful!" I laughed once more.

"Why do I do this to myself! Urgh god I think I'm going to be sick" she quickly threw her legs around and headed straight for the door.

"Morning Ivy" Draco rubbed his eyes and let out a stretch.

"Good Morning, I thought you were going to leave when I fell asleep?"

"I thought so too but how could I tear myself away from a beauty like you" I felt my cheeks burning up, he really did have a way with words.

-

To say today had been eventful was an understatement. Dumbledore had completely disappeared after being accused of building an army to overturn the ministry leaving Umbridge in charge. Her first port of call had been to hold a mass detention for anyone even suspected to of been involved. The school felt eerily quiet and the magnitude of guilt I felt for being on the other side of those doors seemed to be the worse part.

I sat in the courtyard reading my book when I heard an almighty bang, like an explosion of some kind. I jumped to my feet when the same noise came again and again and again. I had no idea where it was coming from and no idea which direction I should be headed. But then the noise changed, I could hear cheering and whistling which only added to my confusion more, the noise was getting closer until I saw two brooms speed past straight up into the air. Then a sea of students flooded the grounds, I had no idea what was happening and no idea what I was supposed to do.

Fireworks filled the sky, which was met by even more cheers.

Something grabbed me from behind. "Let's go" it was Pansy but her face terrified me, she looked seriously concerned.

-

"So what's going to happen now?"

"I have no idea but I think it's best we stay out the way" her face still covered with concern.

"Well I think I'm going to go to the lake I need some air anyway"

Trying to get through Hogwarts was a nightmare, students filled the corridors causing absolute havoc. The noise was immense, screaming and shouting, like something out of a war zone.

Even down at the lake I could still hear the distant voices and despite the chaos behind me that ricocheted around the air just being here felt like an instant calm. I reached my hand out of my pocket to pull out the chocolate bar I had placed in there earlier but as I did the picture of my mother slipped out onto the ground.

"Shit" I reached forward to grab it as a gust of wind blew it slightly out of my reach. "Merlin's beard!" I turned to the other side to place my book and chocolate bar down but as I turned back to jump to my feet there was my picture in somebody's hand.

"How...how are you here?" My face was frozen in shock, I could feel my heartbeat coming through my chest.

"I need you to listen to me Ivy. Go right now and pack your bag and get the hell away from here."

"What?! What are you on about? Go where?! Why?!"

"You are in danger Ivy and I need you to listen to me, get your bag and leave. I'm going to help you but I can only help you if you listen to me. You need to leave now and you need to cut all contact with everyone."

"I-I don't understand. Why?! What about Draco?!"

"Especially Draco."

They lifted out there hand with my picture tightly gripped between there fingers, my eyes jolted around the image but I couldn't concentrate. My heart was in my throat, the ringing in my eyes only getting worse. My world was spinning around me and I had no idea why. I looked over and over again with no idea what I was looking at until everything in my mind became frighteningly clear.

A picture of my mother laughing with her friend, her friend that was holding the picture in front of me.

Narcissa.