《Toxic》Are You Being Serious?

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-From your POV-

I sat with my head tilted against the headboard of the bed, staring off somewhere in the distance. My head was pounding with thoughts about everything and anything while the sore lump in my throat hardened and my eyes stung more and more by the minute. What was I going to do? I decided that I should tell J the truth, everything. I told him how Robin and I had been together from the time we were 15 to 18 and had gotten engaged as a sort of teenage-rebellion moment but the day of the wedding, while we were in the car, I saw something come across his phone screen and I read it; he was cheating. The whole time. I had really severe brain damage and scarring all up my back while he got away scotch free. I was in a coma for six months and in recovery for another six and I barely made it out of that fine and when I did, they did brain scans and found that the severe damage done to the cerebral cortex was most likely going to result in behavioral changes, which ended up manifesting itself in Anti-Social Personality Disorder. At first, I hated it; I couldn't and wouldn't come to terms with the fact that the whole world would see me as a sick freak now because I was a clinical Sociopath. I hated it. But as soon as I realized why Robin was late and how the whole time he had been hiding secrets and valuing his little Bat-dad over me, I thought it was time for some self re-invention. So I got the scars tattooed to cover them up with a badass dragon and never told anyone how I got ASPD; everyone who knew me before then just assumed it was dormant as a child and progressed rapidly as I reached adulthood.

So now the only person on the planet who knows that besides me of course is J. Does he know just how big of a step that is for me?? And it didn't end there; all of the feelings and thoughts I had before the accident were slowly leaking back into my brain, explaining all the thoughts of commitment. Which I still wanted from him. And that was another big problem; not only did I want him to, but now I needed him to.

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I managed to pause my thoughts long enough to get dressed. I got in another basic outfit so I didn't blend in much and got in the car and drove to Gotham.

I paid off the guard to let me in to visitation with J. He sat across from me in a straight jacket and there was one guard watching at the door. "Doll, I didn't expect you to come visit today." he hums out. My stomach hurts and my eyes are wide and exhausted.

"Well we're talking about something serious." I tell him. He glances over his shoulder at the guard and then lowers his head slightly.

"Is it about the blackout?" he asks in a low tone. I just barely nod as I take in a deep breath.

"Uh, kinda." I say hesitantly. His face twists in confusion and his head tilts to the side.

"Doll, what's wrong? Has someone hurt you?? I promise I'll k-"

"No, J. It's not that. I'm fine. Kind of." I say hesitantly.

"Then what is it? Have the goons not been working?? I promise I'll-"

"J!" I start laughing softly. "It's not anything like that." I say. I let out a sigh and he just watches patiently for me to explain. "Remember when we were talking about commitment?" I asked him, causing his gaze to intensify. "I want to talk about that."

"Right now?" he asks. I nod.

"Yeah, it's kind of uh-- nagging, at me." I say.

"Okay, well... where do we start?"

"Let's start with when you get out of here." I mouth. He nods and we both lean slightly forward. I take in a deep breath and begin to start as I notice his eyes roaming all over my face. "J- are you listening?" I ask him. His eyes find mine again.

"Hm. What? Sorry doll, you're just- I don't tell you you're absolutely gorgeous enough, do I?" he says. I just lightly smile and he smiles widely at my reaction. "My girl." the words just rolled straight out of his mouth.

"So, when you get out of here, what do you plan on doing? I mean, obviously our reputations are kind of catching up to us." I say to him softly.

"Well I plan on resuming business as usual, doll. Why? Is there a compromise?" he asks in confusion.

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"There might be."

"How so?"

"Don't you ever think about retiring? Giving it up??" I ask him. He slightly giggles and then looks at me.

"Doll, do I look like a guy with a plan?" he says skeptically. "I'm like a dog chasing a car, if I caught one, I just wouldn't know what to do with it!" he exclaims. I smile and nod slightly.

"What if I said- this is just hypothetical, by the way-" No it's not. "That I was thinking about hanging up the holster?" I suggest. His eyes widen with seriousness.

"You're not quitting on me, are you?" he asks. I will be. I shake my head no.

"No, no no no. I love being in business with you, it's thrilling-really. But, I know that I want to see outside of Gotham one day. I want to see more than a nightclub, shady figures in the alleyway, the inside of Arkham." I explain to him. "And if there is anyone who I might want to do that with, you might be a good option."

"Doll, do you have a crush on me or something??" he says. I roll my eyes and reach over the table, punching him in the shoulder and he slides back some. "No fair, I'm restrained." he protests.

"Mhm, as you should be." I say jokingly before getting serious again. "But I'm saying, all of this is tied together. Commitment, letting it go, so what are your thoughts?" I ask him. He thinks for a minute before responding.

"I think you've had some change of heart; if I asked you last week if you ever felt like leaving, you would've laughed. What's going on?" He says. I sigh as I realize he's not going to budge until I level with him.

"I got a concussion last time I was at Arkham, they did a brain scan and the previous brain activity that was observed when I was first being diagnosed with ASPD has not been observed this time around." I say to him. His eyes widen and he leans back in his chair.

"So, you're not a sociopath anymore??" he asks. I shrug.

"I dunno J. My guess? Some of the signs will still linger but the rest are going to either reverse, resolve, whatever you want to call it."

"How do you think it's going to affect your personality?" he asks me. I shrug.

"I don't know." he looks off in thought for a minute

"Mmm. So, commitment?" he reminds me. I nod silently. He clicks his tongue and looks up in thought for a minute. "Well, doll face, marry me then." he said. My eyes went wide and I blinked a few times in shock. Even the guard turned around and did a double take. I leaned forward some to hear better.

"Pardon?" I say in shock. He smiles widely.

"I said what I said." he giggles. "What?? Surprised that I'd marry you?" he asks. My eyes are wide and I nod.

"Yes, actually, I am." I truly expected him to call me his girlfriend or make some weird pact with me, I was NOT expecting THAT. I angle my head downward some. "You're being serious??" I ask him.

"When have I not been serious??... Actually, don't answer that." he says quickly. I continue just staring at him with wide eyes as he smiles widely. "So?? Is that a yes or a no?? Can't keep a man waiting like that, doll!" he says. I blink a few times.

"Yes, I will marry you..." I sputter out. He starts laughing and smiling and turns to face the guard.

"Heard that?! Just engaged!" he giggles out before turning back to me. I just smile back at him and within a few minutes, the guard tells us that it's time for a head count so he has to take J back. We part our ways and I get into my car.

I step inside of the house and walk over to the kitchen counter. I set my keys on the counter and sink my chin into my fold hands, still in shock over what just happened. My thoughts were interrupted by Scott walking in. "You alright?" he asks. I look at him and don't say anything at first before standing up and leaning my hip against the counter.

"Uh- J and I just got engaged."

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