-From your POV-

There we were. Me, naked, sitting on top of the kitchen counter with wet towel under my butt. Blue, pants on the floor with his shirt on the kitchen counter next to me, inside of me and groaning. I was moaning. What? It felt good? But I'll spare the details.

We finish up and he slightly leans onto me, we're both panting and sweaty messes. He started pulling his pants up when I heard keys at the door. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. The night shift ends officially at 8 AM, and it was 8 AM. I pushed him back and jumped straight off the counter, grabbing the towel and covering myself and ran to my room, slamming the door behind me and getting back in the shower. I sat in the shower, cold water hitting my hot skin, with wide eyes staring at the wall. GODDAMMIT Y/N. Why did you do that. Why did you do that. WHY DID YOU DO THAT? I felt rage coming up my spine and I slammed my hand flat against the shower wall in anger and frustration.

I couldn't tell what made me more mad. The fact that I did it or the fact that there was point while it was happening that I was comparing it to the night with J. Joker. Not J. Dammit. I slammed my hands against the walls a couple more times before getting out and drying off.

I had gotten dressed in a new magenta outfit I had bought: sweatpants with a matching zip-up hoodie. Sort of like those juicy couture outfits from the 2000s. I just barely combed through my hair and said fuck it and went out into the living room to find something I left there yesterday. "Hey boss." one of the new henchmen said. I looked up to see Marks and Matches there, no sign of Blue. Okay, good. He has left for the day. I smile at them and go back to looking for my charger.

"Hey guys." I say as I continue shuffling through the coffee table and the couch cushions.

"Boss, any reason why there's a trail of water all over the floor?" Matches asks. Shit. I look up at them and then at the trail of water. I raise an eyebrow in confusion and then shake my head.

"No, that's odd. Mop it up for me, would you?" I say as I turn my head back to look for my charger. I hear them shuffling around in the supplies closet so I leave them be to do their daily duties. Found it.

I walk back into my room and plug my phone in. I had left my charger in the living room last night after Blue and I had drinks meaning I didn't charge my phone all night, meaning it was dead. I plugged it in and went into the bathroom to finish doing something with my hair.

When I was finished, I came back out and checked my phone. It had turned back on and Blue had texted me. I take a deep breath and open it.

I think for a minute before texting back.

I put the phone back down and just stare at it. I put my hands up to my face. "God I wish I didn't do that." I say to myself. I shake my head and decide to go to the backyard to go throw knives and take my mind off it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-From Joker's POV-

I miss her so much. So so much. But I would never ever admit that. Especially not out loud to another person. Was this part of the problem? That I wouldn't tell her how I felt about her? Because honestly, I wasn't even sure how I felt about her until I was being put to the test. Like when I had to restrain myself from killing Bones with my bare hands or when I got jealous that she was messing with Scott, and then Bones, and the little dance show scenario. Yes. I was jealous. I never fully realized and accepted it until she left the house. I was jealous that other guys were looking at her like that and that she was basking in it. I mean, look at her. She's perfect. Most simple-brained idiot boys wouldn't understand just how magnificent her mind is or how gorgeous of a person she is all because of the little itty bitty assassin detail. But me? It only drew me to her more. I felt a sense of protectiveness over her and I had no right to. I know that, but it didn't matter. I knew it would hurt too much to see her, so I always had one of my men at the club on the lookout for her and if she showed up, I would either stay home or if I was already there, I would leave. I was heavily avoiding her. The house was so much quieter and emptier without her there. I missed her groggy morning voice and the way she would roll her eyes at me when I tried to mess with her that early in the morning. I'd wondered if she missed me as much as I missed her. No, I don't want to know. I need to know that about as much as I need a hole in the head. I had been mostly robbing banks just for fun at this point. It was a distraction from the situation. In two weeks, we had racked up over 2 million dollars in the house and I had bruises all over my torso from fist fights with the Bat himself. I was getting bored of heists though. Heists! HEISTS!! I used to get so much joy from throwing in smoke bombs and breaking down their cute little metal barriers and taking hostages and stealing all their gold reserves. But now? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. And I didn't even care about the money; I had more money than I knew what to do with. Even while I was paying the goons that stayed over at Y/n's house and her utility bills. I paid for it all. It was how I could keep an eye on her and protect her from a distance. I would always send money to the house each week for the goons to go buy groceries and other household necessities and just tell them that they stole it so that way she didn't question where the money was coming from.

Honestly, I had so many regrets but the things that overshadowed those thoughts every single day was realizing how much I missed her.