❤️

"What do you mean he just dropped her off!" A loud voice echoed as my head pounded.

"Would you keep your voice down" another voice said. I slowly opened my eyes finding myself in a bed that doesn't belong to me. A bed I was not familiar with.

I slowly sat up stretching my head, I was in the close from last night. I remember exactly because I remember what I wore to the bar.

Lay must've taken me back to his hotel, knowing how freaked out Brandon would be if he saw me in the state I was.

God. I got so drunk I cant even remember what happened.

"she can't stay here. Call Lay and tell him to come and get her!" A voice said causing me to be alarmed.

If this wasn't Lay's hotel room then where the hell was I? I quickly removed to the covers, getting out of bed.

My shoes were placed in separate places in the room. I almost looked like... god no. Please don't tell me I had sex.

My heart dropped getting my belongings, I grabbed my purse off of the chair, going through to find my phone and it died.

The one time I need a phone. I then her footsteps approach the door of the room, I quickly ran into the bathroom shutting the door.

I breathed heavily. Okay. Normani think. You weren't kidnapped. Lay just brought you here. To a strangers hotel. Why would he do that?

I turned to myself in the mirror to realize my makeup was smudged, my eyes were puffy red meaning even if I was drinking, I wasn't enjoying it because I was still crying over him.

"Shit" a voice say as multiple other footsteps in the room entered.

"Where'd she go?" The voice asked.

"I don't know she was just here" the voice respond and there was a long pause which meant they must of figured out I was in the bathroom.

I exhaled deeply, before slowly opening the bathroom picking my head out. I almost sounded disappointed by who stood in front of me.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. I wish it was strangers. I opened the bathroom walking out.

"Jesus, it's just you guys" I say and standing there was JB and Mark off Got7. You know BamBam's members.

"Who'd you think it was?" JB asked arching his eyebrows. "I don't know... i thought I was kidnapped. I woke not knowing where exactly were I was" I explain to him.

"I can explain that" Mark spoke.

"No need. I don't have time. I have to go, I have a eleven o'clock meeting, and I can't be late" I tell them not wanting to have conversation with them.

I walked towards the shit room door. "Before you leave, you should know that B- JB was cut off when the door opened.

"yo.. yo. I bought donuts!" The familiar voice in front of me says causing me to look up at the him.

I stood in complete shock, watching as he also freezes up after seeing my appearance. My heart pounded furiously, as his expression changed.

"Mani?" He asks in confusion.

"hi... bam" I say trying to avoid eye contact.

It's weird. Now that I think about it. The last time I saw them or BamBam was when my relationship with Joon came out public. Which if we're being honest I have still yet to figure out how that video was leaked.

-

"Where the hell are you, Normani?" Brandon asked shouting through the phone in anger.

"I'm fine"

"That wasn't the question. You have meeting that you have to be in 3 minutes. And I know for a fact you aren't anyway near this building. So I'll ask you again. Where are you?" He asked me.

"I know it looks and sounds bad but I'm in Korea right now" I say looking over my shoulder as Bam sat in the chair pretending he wasn't listening to my conversation.

"Please don't tell me your doing this again. Running away I— I cut him off, "I didn't run away, okay. I'm just want to see some people that I haven't seen in a long time" I explain.

"For what?" He asked completely forgetting that he was manager and I was the client. Who hired him.

"Stop questioning me. Attend the meeting. If they start it without me, then cancel it. I'll be back tomorrow morning to finish filming okay" I snapped before hanging up on him.

I sighed deeply before turning to Bam and returning his phone to him.

"everything alright?" He asked.

No.

Lay dropped me off here for what?

I was drunk and I can't remember anything that happened last night.

My phones dead. I'm in Korea when I remember drinking last night in China.

There was so much going on that I didn't know how to express. Or what to say. All I knew is that I wanted to go home. Back to the dorm.

"Yeah." I say lying.

He chuckles shaking his head before looking up at me, "you were never a good liar" he says.

"I'm not lying. I'm fine" I say maybe if I tell myself that it will come true.

"Your not and it isn't my business to ask you why, so I'll just leave it at that" he tells me before getting up from the chair.

"It's been a while" I say making conversation.

"It has hasn't it" he says walking over to a drawer.

"Especially after the last time I saw you. When was that? Like a month ago? and a half? It was you went MIA" he says.

"Yeah about that— he cuts me off, "but when don't you go MIA" he tells me. If it wasn't him, I would feel offended but I understand why he's acting like this.

I would too if the guy I liked was outed by social media. Having to see the pictures, videos, and statements about how good him and another person looked together. It would seriously drive me crazy.

"Here's a towel and a rag. You know where the bathroom is. I'll have Jackson or Jin-Young get you something to wear" he says causally handing me a towel and a rag.

"Thank you" I say before turning around and going into the bathroom.

-

I stared at myself in the mirror fixing the hoodie to go on my head. I heard conversations about the room door. I opened the door walking out to hear the conversation stopping.

"Is that what you bought her to wear?" JB asked Jackson.

"It was the only thing I could find in the short time" Jackson defended himself.

"It's fine. I'm comfortable. Thank you" I say slightly smiling.

"You hungry?" Bam asked me. I shook my head. "You want something to drink?" He asked another question.

"No. But thank you. Thank you for taking care of me. Letting me use your phone. For letting me in your hotel in the first place especially after the state I was in last night. I should go" I say walking towards the door.

I hear footsteps follow behind me, I turned to see Jackson. Surprisedly.

"How are you gonna get back to China?" He asked me. "I'm not going back today" I let him know before walking out the door he followed me and shut the door behind us.

"i know you probably don't care but... it's just.." he struggled to get out the words he most wanted to say.

"Just What, Jackson?", I asked in annoyance. Spit it out already.

"It's Bam. He hasn't been the same since news got out", he explains.

"I know. He's different" I say.

The truth was I shouldn't care, but since I'm human there is a little part of me that does. That still question whether I made the right decision by listening to my heart instead of my head.

I still wonder Bam even thinks about me or if he gets sleep at night. Or if he sees Joon and I. On the papers. In the news.

I know it hurts him. I wish it didn't but it does.

"I only want what's best for him, and that's you. I know... I understand that your with RapMon, and you have a busy schedule but leaving and not talking to bam for a month and half was too long and wrong of you" he tells me.

"W-What do you expect me to do? He probably hates me. I would hate me for what I did to him. I'm only keeping my distance because I don't want him to get hurt" I explain to him.

"He already is hurt. He has been since news got out, that same night you left and didn't come back. The next day he finds out you went to confirm the rumors. How do you expect him to handle that?" He asked me already making me feel shitty for what I did to him.

I chose my happiness over his and I should feel good about it but I don't.

"I-i can't do this right now" I tell him wanting this conversation.

"If not now, then when? Hm, Normani?" He asked.

"I have to go" I say at almost a whisper.

"Instead of trying to avoid the past. You should tell the truth. Not just to yourself but to RapMon as well" he tells me.

"And what's the supposed to mean?" I asked him.

"You and I know a trip to America isn't enough time to get over someone. Regardless of what you and Joon did. The truth is there's a small part of you that still wants Bam. Just as much as he want you. And it's scares you. But what scares you more is that you may not be able to fight it this time" he tells me.

"Your delusional" I spat at him.

"Am I? Am I really?" He smirked knowing he had to be getting under my skin.

"Thanks for the talk. But I have a boyfriend to go see. Who is and will never be Bam" I spat harshly before turning away.

-

I slowly entered the door to hear loud music playing from downstairs meaning they were in the basement probably practicing.

I kicked off my shoes, and quietly closed the door. I placed my purse on the couch and placed the food I had picked up for them in the kitchen and made my way down the stairs to the basement were the music got louder and louder each step.

They were playing "Boy With Luv".

"Oh my my my, Oh my my my" I hear them sing along to the chorus. I turned the corner looking through the glass door making sure they couldn't see me.

I watched as they all did the moves to the dance, some harder then others. I couldn't help but notice how good Joon as gotten.

The song was suddenly coming to a stop, they all stood in there outro positions breathing heavily. I then decided it was time to see them.

I opened the door silently, watching as they weren't facing the mirror.

"How unfair. A party and I wasn't invited" I say finally speaking. You should have seen their faces.

The first one to turn around was of course Joon, his mouth dropped causing me to smile.

"Mani?" JungKook asked smiling.

"You guys missed me?" I asked walking further into the room.

"Oh my god.. w-what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in China?" Jimin asked in confusion.

"Let's just say I pulled some strings and boom... I can stay for a day or two", I let them all know.

"Just when I thought I could make your room a game room" Yoongi jokes knowing he missed me.

"Are y'all you just gonna stand there or hug me?" I asked opening my arms. Everyone but Joon walked towards me hugging me, causing me to smile.

They parted looking at me. "You look like you've lost weight. Have you been eating?" Jin asked.

"When doesn't she eat" Taehyung asked causing everyone but joon and I to laugh.

I haven't felt like this in a long time. My heart pounded looking across the room to see Namjoon trying to keep his composure but his eyes were already watery.

"W-what are you doing here?" He asked his voice cracked. The last time we spoke, we left off in a argument.

"I missed you guys" I answered.

He shook his head.

"and you"

"I'm supposed to be mad at you. But your making it hard for me when you come in here unexpectedly. Smiling ear from ear. With your beautiful face. Gorgeous eyes. Soft lips. Your supposed to be in China. Why are you here?" He asked on the urge of crying.

I slightly smile scowling approaching him, "I want you to let you know.... your not the only one waiting. You never have been and never will be" I say.

"Mani, I didn't me— I cut him off feeling the unwanted tears form in my eyes.

"I know... it's hard. And it may get harder.. So what if we have different schedules, different lifes.... I will wait for you Kim NamJoon. Even if that means I have to wait a day or even a thousand years. And I will never stop waiting for you because I know will always see you" I say tears forming in my eyes.

"I think I'm gonna cry" j-hope says from behind us causing me to turn back and laugh. Before I could say anything I was pulled into a large bear hug.

NamJoon embraced me, holding me, I held him back feeling his arms around me.. I just felt safe. I felt like this was my home.

"I love you too, Normani Kordei" he whispers into my ear causing me to hold him tightly.

I smiled. My heart smiled harder.