I sighed in frustration as I was on the phone trying to do two things at the same time. I sat in the makeup chair as the stylist was touching up my makeup for the next scene, also trying to apologize to NamJoon how I had to cancel on him.

Once again.

"I'm sorry. I know.. I know.. I swear to you I was on my way to airport when Brandon said my schedule changed" I say trying to get him to understand that this wasn't my fault.

NamJoon and I planned to have a romantic dinner tonight once I landed in Korea. It would've been our first date since the news got out that we were dating.

Knowing Joon it would've been perfect but once again my career got in the way.

I could hear the disappointment in his voice, which made me feel more sad about this entire situation.

He sighs before speaking, "ok" was all he said causing the line to get silent. Usually when things don't work out, he'd always argue or get mad but now he wasn't even making a scene.

He literally just said okay. Meaning he expected this. Meaning I had to cancel our plans so many times that it wasn't even new to him.

"I'm sorry" the words escape my mouth.

"Yeah. Me too" his voice sounds emotionless.

I miss him. I miss him so much that it hurts. I didn't even know that was possible. To miss someone to point that not seeing that hurts. But it is.

I haven't seen him since our comeback stage, even the other members. While they are in Korea promoting our new album, I was in China still filming "Unexpected Love".

"Come on.. don't be like that" I say as the stylist applied powder on my face.

"How else do you expect me to be, Normani? I've been patient and understanding because of the movie and the distance but It just feels like I'm the only one waiting" he explains how he feels.

Is he not using his brain? The makeup artist walks out the room allowing me to get out the chair and stretch myself before having to go back out on set.

"Do you think I like this? Not being with you? I know our schedules are completely different which makes it so difficult for us to see other now but you aren't the only one waiting, and for you to say that it means your only thinking about you" I say trying to fight back tears from falling down my face.

"T-that's..mani. That's not what I meant" he tries to explain himself. I turned once I saw a PD walk into the room.

"They're ready for you" he tells me, causing me to nod.

I sigh deeply not wanting to even having the time to argue with him. "Look... I have to go, can we talk about this later?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Sure"

Before I could even say goodbye or that I loved him, he hung up meaning we ended another one of our phone calls in a argument.

I mean in the beginning Joon and I knew things were gonna be hard but I didn't think it was gonna be like this.

"Normani" I hear my name called meaning I had to go now.

-

"I hate you!" I shout at Lay as he walked away from me as the camera followed behind me. I stood in the middle of the road, soaked from the rain.

As rain poured down me, I couldn't help forget that this was a scene. A make believe scene. But it felt so real. The emotions. My emotions were real.

Lay turns around, "no. No you don't" he shouts back at me slowly making his way towards me.

I breathed heavily trying to remember my lines, I looked around as I remember the script telling me to do so.

"I wish I did. So I wouldn't have to see your stupid face. I wish I did so I wouldn't want to keep that necklace. I wish I did so I wouldn't want you. I wish I did so I wouldn't love you" the words came out of my mouth as if these were real words spoken from my heart.

Causing Lay faces expression to change, somehow he knew I wasn't acting.

"There... I said it. I am in love with you. And it's hurts because it wouldn't have mattered whether I told you or not because you would still choose her" I say as tears fall down my cheeks.

Lay stood there breathing heavily looking at me, "So your right. I don't hate you. But I wish I did" I say not breaking eye contact with him.

"And... Cut! That's a wrap for the day everyone!" The Director said causing the rain to stop, causing me to wipe my tears. But the more and more I wiped the more and more tears came out.

I squat to the floor trying to get a hold of myself. It was the least professional I have ever been. I covered my face from the crew members walking on set, so none of them would question me on why I was still crying.

Lay's manager came out onto the set. Lay was handed him a jacket, I watch as Lay walked towards me and bent down placing it on me causing me to confusingly look up at him.

"come on... get up" he whispers to me grabbing a hold of my arm. I slowly stood up as he looked down at me.

"Don't do this here" he tells me covering my face from the walking set crew.

After leaving the set, he walked me towards my assigned room and shut the door. I removed the jacket from my shoulders tossing it on the couch.

"I know you were just playing a role but I'm smart enough to know that weren't just acting" he says reading right thought me.

I let out a deep sigh.

"What happened?" He asked and it was like Niagara Falls all over again. Tears fell from my eyes as I leaned back against the wall trying to get ahold of myself.

He sighs undoing the cuffs on his shirt walking towards me. "It's him again, isn't it?" He asked being the smart guy he is.

I nod without any eye contact.

"What happened this time? You canceled on him or he canceled on you? An argument?" He asked.

That's funny. You thought this was the first time something like this happened. Believe it or not I'm a crybaby. Especially when it comes to things I can control but don't know how to.

For example, NamJoon and I. We are together but recently it's been difficult you know. Not seeing each other and wanting too. Only seeing each other when it's work related.

It's hard. Trying to be Korea's number one couple when there's so many things trying to prevent that from happening.

Lay and I have gotten close to the point where every time there's something wrong with me he knows it's either because I miss him, the boys or because I miss my family.

He sat down next to me. "I know it's hard but you have to push through it" he tells me.

"I-i don't know if I can, Lay. I miss him so much and I can't keep doing this to him. It's like he's giving up on me. On us" I explain trying to stop crying.

"So what are you gonna do give up every time it's gets hard? You don't think I know what it's like to miss someone and you can't do anything about it?" He asked causing me to look up at him.

He sighs, "when I first started acting it was the best thing until I found out how much and how long I'd be away from my members. It sucked. But it knew that this was what I wanted. And I knew they were counting on me. So I didn't give up. No matter how much I missed them. And in the end I always got to see them" he continues whilst wiping my tears.

"So stopped crying for something you can't control. If RapMonster gives up. That's on him. Not you. Remember that" he tells me causing me to slightly smile.

"Your right" I say.

Somehow Lay always knew exactly what to say. He always made me stop crying every time.

"we both had a long day of rehearsals, photoshoots and filming.. what do you say how about we go out for drinks?" He asked getting up from the ground and placing out a hand to help me up.

Drinking? My kind of party. Anything to make me forget about Joon and I argument.

"Only if your buying" I say allowing him to help me up.

"When do I not" he jokes causing me to nudge him and roll my eyes.

-

"Jesus! What did you eat?" I say out of breathe as I struggled to carry Mani's heavy ass to their hotel room.

I tried my best not to wake her after she fell asleep at the bar in the club. She usually never drinks this much meaning her and RapMon was seriously going through it.

Usually when she drinks she doesn't even look drunk. She looks nearly sober. Maybe it's different. She cried harder then she normally does.

I guess being away from him is hitting her harder then she said it was. I thought drinking would cheer her up but all she talked about was him.

"I should run away to go see him"

"God. He's probably so mad at me"

"look he won't even text me back"

"I bet he hates me. I would hate me"

I could literally hear her saying that over the club music. I finally approached the hotel room door, I knew this was bad idea but I was not going to babysit her again. I had a meeting to go with my manager almost twenty minutes ago.

I knocked on the door patiently waiting for it to open. He's a good guy. I just couldn't take her back to her hotel. Her manager would kill her, then me. Then me again.

Seconds later the door opened and there he stood. His eyes widen, "wh-What happened to her?" His voice sounding more concerned then ever.

"Nothing. She's just drunk. I have to go. Can you watch her?" I asked him handing her body to him.

He held her up in confusion, "wh— I cut him off, "can't talk now. I'll explain everything later. Gotta go" I say before walking away.