I took a breath of relief looking out to the amazing night view outside on the top balcony of the building. I stood leaning over the balcony as everyone downstairs partied.

Unlike other nights were after BTS usually go home and do a vlive we decided to go out to the MAMA after party we're mainly every artist who was popular currently was.

I guess you can say the seen wasn't just for. I barely know anyone in there. The boys themselves have divided to talk to other artists. So here I was standing outside on the balcony looking at the view taking in all this.

I feel like I needed this time alone to clear my mind. To think. About everything. BTS's new album comes out in a couple of weeks, I have another project that Brandon as yet to tell me about.

I'm really hoping that it's another film. I didn't think I'd be interested in acting but I love it. The way I turn into a different character. It's weird but still somehow I manage to control it.

"I figured you'd be up here", a voice says causing me to turn and see BamBam walking onto the large balcony.

Just as I wanted peace and quiet. Was it weird I didn't want to be alone with him. Not because I didn't trust him or thought he'd doing something I wouldn't like.

But I already know this conversation would end. He'd want to talk about us. And if there was ever a chance of us being something.

I should just tell him the truth. All of it. I didn't want to do that tonight, not while everyone was having such a good time.

"And why is that?", I asked him facing my back to the view looking at him.

He lets out a chuckle before approaching me, "You look like the Cinderella type of girl who runaway out of parties" he said walking towards me.

I smiled softly as he leaned against the railing looking at me as I looked up at the stars.

"It's freezing out here. You might catch a cold" he tells me beginning to take of his jacket. Typical Bam. Always watching out for me. Giving me his expensive jackets that he knows he'll never get back.

"You keep it. I need a little coldness in my life" I tell him trying to decline his jacket kindly.

"No. I insist"

Determined to help me he tries to place it on me, and I smile softly, shaking my head.

"Come on. You know you want it" he approaches me more.

"I can't take it, Bam" I say seriously. He realizes I was no longer in the laughing or playing mode, that I was serious.

"Why? Are you too good for my jacket?" He slightly laughs not making this situation any better.

No. But taking this would make you think we're the same. Same people. Same people like before you left for tour and that's not true.

Because you changed. And so did I.

He sighs before placing his jacket on the railing, I swallowed hard.

"I knew leaving... things between us were gonna be different since the last time I saw you. But I didn't think it'd be like this. Your not even taking my jackets now" he says making conversation.

I remained silent not sure how to respond to his response.

"And now you can't even look at me" he pauses

"it's because of him.. isn't it?" He continues causing our eyes to met.

Maybe it's my guilt eating my away again. The same guilt who caused me to tell him to wait for him when I wasn't sure if I really mean that.

The same guilt that wasn't there to care about Bam's feelings when Joon and I hooked up in the hotel.

"Before you left.. I told you to wait for me" I pause as his eyes searched mine." I say honestly.

He lets out a chuckle, "I don't know what I was thinking showing up at the dorm that night... I just thought... it doesn't matter now... I shouldn't have done that. I gave you ultimatum and I shouldn't have" he apologizes.

What the hell was he apologizing for? It was me who told him to wait for him and decided to move on.

"At least we can still be friends, right?" He jokes causing me to look at him.

This was reason I didn't want to be alone with him. I didn't want have to do this. To tell him that I was with Joon.

"W-we can't"

He looks up to me. "What?" His voice filled with so much emotion.

"We can't be friends"

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I know me. I had feelings for you before, what happens if they come back?" I ask him honestly I can't allow it.

"You make it seem like that's a bad thing" he says clearly not understanding what I was saying.

"We had sex" it comes out to quickly causing nothing but silence. Jesus. I couldn't have said that I was dating him or something.

His looks as if he's about to say something until I look up at him and he stops. Now what?

"Before or after?" He asks.

"What?"

"Before or After I went on tour?" He asked.

"After" I say softly causing him to look around and nod.

"B-but you told me to wait for you, and you couldn't even wait for me, right?" He asks me I could literally hear the betrayal in his voice.

I sigh, "I know and I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking... I shouldn't have done that because it gave you false hope"

"False hope?" He pause chuckling as if what I said was funny.

"No, Mani. What it made me believe was that you and I could ever be anything then just friends. But that was never going to happen... because that's all you saw me as. Just a friend" he says.

Tears began forming in my eyes. I hate feeling with way. Knowing that it's my fault he's hurting. That I gave him the idea of something never happening.

"I'm sorry" I say softly breaking eye contact.

"Why?" He asks.

"Because... I love him. Even when I tell myself I don't. I do. And I tried... so hard not too... but it can't be helped" I explain to him.

"Can't he helped? Normani... you— He's going to hurt you" his words causing me to look up at me. He was so sure that NamJoon was this evil man whose some lair and that's not true.

Joon loves me. I love him. He wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt me. I know it.

"And when he does... I can't promise that I'll be around to care" he says causing me to nod softly at his remark.

I stood in silence unsure how to respond to that. It was me who said that we can no longer be friends.

"I feel so stupid. All time and effort I put into make you feel special. All the time I spent worrying about you. Worrying about telling you how I felt because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. It was all for nothing because in the end you chose him and now our friendship is over. Now I have to pretend that it won't bother me seeing you with him and that you don't talk to me anymore when in reality it's going to kill me" he confess causing me to rethink everything.

The truth was I didn't deserve him. Regardless of what it was Bam was always there for me. Whether it be from the first time I was drunk because of Joon himself or because I needed someone to hang out with.

He opened up to me and never once hurt me and yet here I was still choosing Joon. And I don't know if that makes me a girl who believes she's in love or just a dumbass.

But I hope after all this, I don't regret choosing him. But somehow.. something deep down inside tells me that I will.

"I'm sorry"

"Is that all can say is that you're sorry?" He asks anger filled in his voice. I have never seen him such a state.

"What do you want me to say?" I ask him.

"I don't know. Anything, Mani. Couldn't you see that Joon wasn't the only one in love with you!?!" He shouts in frustration causing me to swallow hard.

I looked down.

"It doesn't matter what I say because at the end of night you'll still be in love with him, instead of me" he says before trying to walk away when I grabbed his arm causing him to stop walking.

"Please don't be mad at me" I say softly.

He doesn't even look at me.

"I'm not mad"

"Then why can't you— he cuts me off by turning around grabbing both of my arms to hold me still in place.

"Don't you get it. I want something I can never have. And I almost had it. If I didn't go away" he says referring to me.

Before I can respond the door opens causing both of us to turn to the door, I looked to see NamJoon.

I pull away from Bam not wanting to give Joon the wrong idea. "hey.. I was looking for you everywhere. Are you okay? Joon asks me and before I could respond Bam does.

"She's fine. We're just talking"

"I wasn't asking you" Joon says.

"You know I'm getting really sick and tired of this. Just say you hate me and you want to fight me, let's get this over with already" Bam says picking a fight with Joon.

"Bam.. come on. Don't do this" I say.

Joon chuckles at his responds, "I don't want to fight you, man" Joon tells me.

"Well I do" Bam walks over to Joon and pushes him back. It didn't take long for Joon to get upset. I quickly rushed in between the two.

"Don't do this. This is not the time nor the place" I tell them both standing in between them.

Please don't do it. I swear to god if they fight out here I will cuss both of them out. What are they even fighting for? Me? This whole situation was ridiculous.

"Do you honestly think he isn't going to hurt you, Mani. Look at him. Once a cheater. Always a cheater" Bam says.

What does that even mean?

I turn to Joon, "just go back inside please. This really doesn't have to happen" I say.

"No. It should and it will" The words out of Joon's mouth upset me. He wasn't even going to listen, but instead engage in this stupidity.

Joon grabs my arm and pulls me out the way, putting me behind him.

"You asked for it" he says before his fist connects to Bam's jaw.

I gasped in shock covering my mouth, as Bam stumbles back into the railing.

"Stop it!" I raise my voice at both of them.

What the hell was going on. Who would of that I'd have two rappers from two important groups fighting over me like this was a lifetime romantic movie with bad acting.

Both of them throwing blows at each other, and I was literally standing there shouting at them to stop.

Luckily, I heard footsteps enter outside causing me to see Jackson and Yoongi run onto the balcony separating the two.

Bam's cheek was bruised, just like Joon's hand.

I didn't have the words or strength to even say anything.

Joon and him breathes heavily as they were being held back.

"Cool down, man!" Jackson tells Bam. Yoongi didn't even have to say anything Joon wasn't as worked up as Joon was.

But then again it wasn't Joon who wanted to fight but then again Bam had every right to be upset but then again he didn't need to be picking fights with Joon. So overall this was really confusing.

But this can't happen again. Them two fighting over me like I'm the last slice of pizza. I am not property. And the fact that either one of them just did this upset me even more.

"Mani" Joon says catching my attention. My eyes now forming with tears looking at both of them.

Yoongi sighs letting him go, Joon approaches me. "Don't" I say seriously causing him to stop in his footsteps.

I look over to Bam one more time before turning around and walking back inside.

-

I sat far across the room with an ice pack to my hand, as Bam sat across the room with an ice pack on his jaw.

Luckily, us fighting didn't bring a lot of attention to ourselves. Only our groups new and that's it.

I've been waiting years to beat his ass and finally tonight I have the chance and the reason. As much as I wanted to feel good about it I couldn't help but feel disappointed in myself.

Never have I ever let someone get underneath my skin so much to bring me past my breaking point and tonight I did that.

I kind of figured that he'd be up here with her. After the show Yoongi told me that she had planned on talking to him I just didn't know when.

So to go up there and see him holding her like that already angered me. Then he says he wants to fight me.

None of that matters what hurt the most wasn't even my hand. It was the look on Mani's face before she turned around. She didn't even say anything, she just walked out.

And she had every right to feel the way she felt, whether she was mad, or upset at both of us. I never had intentions of putting my hands on him, it just happened.

My eyes jot to the door as Yoongi and Jackson walked through the door.

"What happened? Where is she?" BamBam asked them both taking the words right out of my mouth.

"She's outside" Jackson responds.

"I need to go talk to her" I say about to get up when Yoongi stops me.

"Give her time to process" Yoongi tells me.

Process what? Was this his way of telling me that she didn't want to talk to either of us?

I sighed.

"This is all of your fault" Bam says causing me to look up at him. "My fault? You're the one who was asking for it" I defend myself.

I take part for hitting him first but I should not be blamed because it wasn't me who started it.

"Ah! Enough!" Jackson raises his voice getting both of our attention.

"Do you even hear yourselves right now? Bickering like you guys are in high school. Who cares who started it. It happened. Now finish it" He continues causing me to look at Yoongi who was unfazed by this entire situation.

"Regardless how you may feel about each other, you both of one thing in common. Which is Normani. You both care about her. So talk whatever issues you have out. Not for you but for her" he tells us before walking out the room.

"Yeah. What he said" Yoongi seconds that before leaving him and I alone again.

I sigh.

"You don't deserve her" he says causing me to look up at him.

"And what? You do?" I asked him causing him to roll his eyes, and look away from me.

This was pointless. Normani cares about both of us. Us fighting is probably the last thing she wants.

"Why do you even care?"

He looks up at me in confusion. "What?"

"Why do you care about her?" I ask him wanting to know his logic. If this was going to work, I need to understand him.

Understand why he was so upset.

"Isn't obvious? You aren't the only one in love with her" he states.

I figured he liked her but loved her, no.

"So that's why your pissed? Because she chose to be with me instead of you?" I asked sounding almost so cocky.

He lets out a chuckle.

"I'm pissed because no matter how many times you hurt her, she still continued to choose you. And she is smart... she's smart enough to know that your not good for her. She should know that you're going to hurt her, and when you do... I'll be there for her. Like I always am" he says boldly.

He was so confident that I would hurt her that I would do anything to make her cry. I mean I'm not prefect but I'm not this monster who cheats on every girls he with so why was he making me out to me.

"Wow. You thought this through, haven't you?" I asked him.

"You know what's the worst part about it... she didn't even want to be friends anymore" he confesses causing me to look at him.

So that's why he was pissed. Not only did she tell him that she was with me but she also told him that they couldn't be friends because of it.

Why? Was she afraid that she might have feelings for him still?

"What?" I asked.

It sounded crazy if you ask me. Your telling me not only did Normani confess to being with me, but she also told him that they can no longer be friends?

"She cares about your feelings more then her own. As much as either of you try to deny it, she has feelings for me. She just has more for you" he smirks.

I scuffed at his remark. He was so confident that Normani would ever even consider them being more than friends.

But then it hit me. Whenever I fucked up Bam was always the person she ran to which also made me question their relationship.

"She told me to wait for her" he confesses causing me to look at him. The look in his eye I can tell he was telling the truth as much as I didn't want him too.

"she what?"

"That night... you and your members saw her crying, running into my arms. She told me to wait for her" he explains.

Why would she do that?

"She knew you were gonna fuck her over so she told me wait for her. So that when you do I'd be there to make her happy which is something you fail to do. And I did. And if it isn't clear... I still am" he continues.

She told him to wait for her because she knew I'd do something stupid, something dumb to hurt her. This was before anything that happened in America. Wait... what if she feels the same way.

I swallowed hard.

"She doesn't know the type of person you are and she doesn't have to if you just let her be with me" he says making it seem like I'm holding Mani against her will.

Type of person? What might that be? I mean I know I'm not prefect and everyone has there flaws but he makes it seem like I play with peoples feelings and emotions when I'm not that type of person.

I love her and care about her deeply enough not to even think about doing anything even remotely close that could hurt her.

You think I want her to be crying over me? Crying to someone about me. Especially when that someone is the same person who is trying all they can to make sure her and I aren't together.

No. I don't.

"Let her go? I'm not forcing her to be with me. She's with me because she wants to be", I tell him seriously.

"she doesn't know what she wants"

"Clearly not you" I spat in anger.

"She isn't thinking straight"

"And who are you to make her decide who to love? Normani isn't some property, okay? She's my damn girlfriend, and nothing you say or do can change that" I say clinching my jaw.

"We'll see about that" those words and his eyes told me he was up to something. Something evil. Something that would effect both his and my relationship with Normani.

I sigh. The only reason we were the two left in the room was to squash the beef and the drama.

"Look... I know we have our differences and the past years before Normani came we hated each other... we probably still do. But the one thing we can agree on is that we both care about her. So let's make a deal" I tell him seriously trying to end all of this.

"A deal? What makes you think— I cut him off, "I won't hurt her... but if I do... she's yours" I say can't believing the words coming out of my mouth myself.