After the very successful collaboration with BlackPink & GoT7, I found myself getting closer to the girls.

I know. I know what your thinking.

But here's the truth, lisa and NamJoon have way more history together then I will ever have with RM.

NamJoon and I relationship right now is very complicated. One minute we're friends, the next we're lovers and later we are strangers.

But for right now NamJoon and I are on good terms. We are talking which is different from how we've been doing things. But it was awkward between us.

After all the hard work and long days of practicing Bang Synk finally gave us a week off from work.

A work free from performances, practicing, interviews, meaning we were practically on vacation.

I duck my head from the flashing cameras and screaming fans as I followed behind the boys with multiple.. and when I say multiple I mean a lot of of security surrounding as we make our way out of the airport.

I sigh in relief as I we entered the fan, I sat in the back next to Jung-Kook. We were finally in Hawaii.

For some reason I felt like we all need this vacation, not because of how hard the boys and I work but because we haven't just gotten to hang out without all the things revealing around work. Either that be fans, meetings, performances, and practices.

"you guys were gonna have so much fun here, aren't we?" I hear a voice from the front of the van asked, and almost immediately all the boys screamed yes.

I laugh at all of their responses. I roll my eyes turning to the window, to look outside. The view was amazing. The way the sun looked when it was rising.

After the long ride we finally made it to our villa, I got out the van and looked around to noticed the villas was surrounded by nothing but water.

Water. Who the hell would make an entire complex on top of water. They must have a death wish or something.

"oh woah" Jin says as we enter the large vacation house. I look around finding myself to fall in love with the house itself.

It was beautiful. The way the windows brought so much light to the house. It was prefect.

RM walks to the island that held a letter, I followed him as the rest of the members walk around to explore what's inside of the house.

NamJoon looks at me before grabbing the note off of the island.

"Aloha! Welcome To Maui BTS! We at the big island are so proud to have you all stay here at one of our resorts. Make yourself feel at home, and get cozy because once your here, I promise you never want to leave. In this large villa they're are six rooms & baths. 5 minute walking distance to the beach and 10 to the local shops. I hope you guys enjoy your stay. A-hul-hou-kakou" NamJoon read as I processed what he was saying.

I watched as Jeon [JungKook] walked into the kitchen opening the cabinets looking for I'm guessing something to eat.

We haven't eaten anything since this morning.

"no food!" He shouts throughout the villa causing chaos, as the other members came into the kitchen confused and looking around.

"What do you mean theres no food? What are we supposed to eat?" J-hope asks NamJoon.

"The food here. That's most likely the reason why they gave us American money before our trip" The leader explains.

Which was true. Before leaving Brandon gave each of us a reasonable amount of money for the trip.

He also gave NamJoon the money for food, transportation or anything that we all would use together as BTS.

Taehyung picks up the note from the island, and not even seconds later he looks up at all of us.

"There's only six rooms"

Jimin turns to Jin who faces frown, "it's nothing knew. We used to share rooms, remember?" Yoongi says.

"It's different now"

Jung-kook says causing almost all of them to look at me.

"It's fine. Jung-Kook & Taehyung will share since you two are the youngest members", NamJoon tells them.

"Awe Man!" Taehyung says angrily, I knew how bad he wanted his own room, that's all he was talking about on the ride up here.

"No. It's fine. I'll share" I finally speak causing all of them to look at me in shock, not only because that's the first thing I said since leaving the airport. But also because I was suggesting on sharing a room with one of them.

"But your a girl, you need your own room" Jimin argues having J-hope agree with him.

"No, I don't. It's only six rooms. It wouldn't be fair I have a room and Jeon and Tae have to share", I pause.

They look around, I roll my eyes and sigh, they were literally making a big deal out of nothing. I don't care about sharing.

"You guys... it's not that big of a deal. I'll just sleep with NamJoon" I continue so causally not realizing the words I spoke and how it sounded.

Almost immediately the all look around at each other. I sounded like when I said sleep that meant actually sleep with him.

I swallowed hard.

"I mean.. share a room... with him... if that's okay with you?" I ask turning to NamJoon whose checks were flushing in red, he obviously was trying too hard not to show his dimples.

"Yeah. It's cool" NamJoon says trying to sound as if he wasn't freaking out right now. As much as he wanted to in front of the boys he wasn't allowed to.

You know being with Lisa or whatever.

Yoongi smirks with his arms crossed looking at RM and I, as J-hope nudges Jimin.

Taehyung turns to Jung-Kook, "oh, RapMonster... we can share a room" he mocks me pretending to be me.

"Yeah. It's cool" JungKook mocks NamJoon sounding almost like him.

I bit my lip to hide a smile. Jin laughs uncontrollably slapping the table.

"Oh, shut up" NamJoon says launching towards both Taehyung and Jungkook who laughed loudly.

"That's it!" Joon says chasing the two younger members as they exit the kitchen and run.

The more and more I thought about it, Joon and I in a room. Alone. At night. One bed. I've never been alone in room with Joon unless we were talking each other.

But this... was different.

We weren't going to be talking. We were going to be talking. Him and I haven't had a normal conversation in a couple days.

Oh god. Does that mean I'm going to have to wear pants. Ugh. I needed to do something to distract myself.

I notice Jimin, J-Hope and Jin go into the living room.

"I'm going out to get dinner"

Yoongi voices excites me.

"I'm coming with you" I say almost immediately. He turns to me while he places on his hat that made him look older then he already is.

"It's fine. You don't have too"

"No. It's okay. I want too. I really wanted to go site-seeing" I lie making up some excuse to get out of the villa for a while.

"Alright. Come on. Try to keep up because I'm not afraid to leave you" he spats before walking out the door.

I nod, grabbing one of many villa keys off the counter and following him out the door.

-

"We'll need lots of this" I say grabbing at least six boxes of noddles knowing how much we eat these and how well Jin knows how to make them.

I tossed them into the cart that Yoongi held as he was looking at the list we made on the way here.

"We have noddles.. rice... eggs... pork... seasoning, soup, vegetables... and chips. What else do we need?" He asks.

I couldn't think of anything else that we needed for now. All I knew this would last us for a while before we needed anything.

"I think that's it for now"

He nods softly pushing the cart out of the isle and I follow him.

I laugh causing Yoongi to turn and look at me. "What's funny?" He asks.

"It's crazy. I haven't gone shopping in months. I think the last time I've been to a grocery store was when I was living in America" I confess.

"And that's bad?"

"No. Not at all. Its just... doing this is different. You know.. without all the screaming and flashing lights. It's calming" I tell him and he nods understanding what I was saying.

"So what's up with you and Joon?"

He asks so casually as if him and I were on that "let's tell each other everything" level.

"I don't know. What's up with him and Lisa" I answer his question by asking him one.

The truth was this was very therapeutic for me. Being away from the boys and just out with one. Yoongi was a good person to talk to, he's the type to give you advice even when you didn't ask for it.

"Joon and Lisa's history is way complicated for even me to explain or let alone understand"

"And his and mine aren't?"

He looks at me, "they were together before we even knew what the BBMA's were. Think about it" he tells me.

I nod. He sighs, "honestly, I don't know why he's with her. When everyone knows that he wants to be with you. I mean I see it, the guys see it. The way you guys are when your not arguing. How he acts around you. I don't think I've ever seen him smile so much before", he tells me.

I didn't need to know any of this but all this was doing was giving him and I false hope in my head.

The thought of us being together of fans shipping us.

"You know you like him. Why don't you tell him?"

I chuckle slightly, "You don't think he knows that? My feelings for NamJoon have been clear since day one, it was him who changed and switched up on me. One minute we were discussing whether being together would work and the next I find out he's in fake relationship with his ex" I say pretending as if talking about this to him... talking about this period wasn't bothering me.

"Why don't you— I cut him off, "because I know him. He's going to choose her over me. Like he always does. Because I'm his second choice. And I don't expect differently because he can't help it. They love each other" I gave in causing his expression to change especially once he noticed my eyes watering up.

I wanted no longer to talk about this.

"I don't know want to say to comfort you" Yoongi says being the tough-hearted man he was.

I look up at him, slightly smiling. "You don't have to say anything. I'm okay" I lie.

Talking about this made me want to go home and lay down in my bed and cry underneath the cover.

We approach the self-check out line, "sorry if— I cut him off quickly changing the conversation, "oh wow. They have these still. I haven't these since I was like five" I picked up a random bag of chips showing Yoongi forcing a fake smile.

"You know you don't have to that, right?"

He asks removing the items out of the cart and placing them out the scanner.

"Do what?" I ask him confusion rushing down to help him with the items.

"you don't have to fight your own battles when you have people who are willing to help you fight them" he tells me implying that it was okay for me to feel the way I did.

"It's only a fight if I allow it to get to me. But I don't. Therefore it isn't a fight"

"Call it whatever you want, mani. But everyone fights their battles. Whether it's against someone else or themselves" he tells me before placing the items into the bags.

-

"hurry up!" I hear Tae shout out me at me from out the room, as I just got out the shower and all the boys were waiting on me to eat their dinner.

"Alright. I'm coming" I say placing on a large t-shirt and placing my hair into a bun. I placed my towel on the back of the door, and I grabbed my phone of the bed.

I walked out the room walking to the living room to see the boys sitting down facing the television with bowls in their hands.

"Took you long enough. I'm starving" Jung-Kook says.

"When you are not" I say causing some of them to laugh walking into the kitchen to find my bowl made already.

I grabbed a fork and held my bowl filled with food that a bitch was about to fuck up.

"What are you guys watching?" I ask before stuffing my mouth with food before sitting down next to Tae on the couch.

"Don't know yet. We're looking" Jin answers me as he held the remote in his hand scrolling through Netflix.

Well this is going to take forever. Finding something to watch on Netflix will literally take hours.

"Look!" J-hope points out at the screen. I like everyone else look up to the large television screen to see a thumbnail of "Me Like Yuh".

I almost choke.

It was a picture of Jay and I staring into each other eyes. I still remember the day we took this photo. Why'd that to choose this one for cover of the film though.

"It's Mani!" Jimin says smiling.

I look over to Joon who sat in a chair looking the most discomforted out of all of us.

"I thought you said you weren't even down with filming yet?" Yoogni mentions.

"We're not. It's just a trailer"

I explain looking to all of them who either nod their head. Jin then clicks the remote button causing the screen to change.

"No. Please don't tell me you guys are watching this. Let's watching something else. Something other then this"

"No. We want to see what's been making you come so late to practices everyday, so we're going to watch it" J-hope laughs.

I sigh.

The trailer began to play.

God, seeing myself on screen was so cringeworthy. I watch the boys exact expressions as they watch me. It was insane out they were so focus.

"Hey you guys, I'm Normani Kordei" I watch myself say standing next to Jay.

"Wassup, it's Jay Park y'all" he says before putting up a peace sign.

"And you are now about to watch the official trailer of "Me Like Yuh" Both Jay and I say at the same time.

"Me Like Yuh" it about a girls life who is flipped completely upside down when she gets the attention of the wealthiest men in Korea. I play Alexandra Leighton a girl with a rough past, and a eat shit attitude" I watch myself say.

Jin laughs looking over to me.

"Why do you look so nervous?" Jung-Kook asked me.

"Because I was" I inform him.

"And I play Kim Minho a man who is everything but simple who is incapable of love. Let's just say someone changes me" Jay says before nudging me.

I walked to put a pillow over my face this was literally so embarrassing.

"Without further or due... let's get into that trailer!" I watch myself shout in excitement.

Oh god.

"Yeah" Taehyung raises his voice causing me to smile. I couldn't even eat that's how embarrassing it was.

The official trailer was now starting. A music began playing the scene started off where I was now walking carrying a tray of food at the high-end restaurant I worked at.

When I saw Jay I dramatically dropped the plates of food staring at him.

My acting was insane.

I turn to Taehyung who himself was shocked at my performance on screen.

"I thought I asked you to be left alone"

"I thought I told you I don't take orders. I give them" he responds standing there with his hands and in suit pants.

The scene switched multiples times composing the scenes where him and I were either laughing or having a good time together.

"I can't live without you, Alex."

The rain scene will always get to me. I don't know why but just imagining someone confess love for you, at night... in rain.. is everything.

"Then die"

"woah" I hear Jimin say so focused on the screen.

Then there was the only scene I had wished they didn't put in the trailer. Oh god.

"Stop talking" Jay tells me before taking off his shirt. I swallowed hard watching and praying the scene didn't continue to the next part which I remember very well because we had to film that scene over and over again until it was prefect.

I look over to Joon who I could tell was getting angry even watching this.

The scene switched again, as Jay turned to me with a worried face. "Everything I ever did was for you. To protect you. You have to believe me", he tells me.

Seconds later the screen when black and a gun shot went off, "oh woah!" J-hope says. As the words "Me Like Yuh" appeared on the screen.

"March 2nd" appeared afterwards.

"I mean I knew you could act but it didn't even look like you were acting. It looked like you were serious!" Jung-Kook says complimenting me.

"Thank you"

"So what happens at the end?" Jin asks wanting to know.

"I can't tell you" I began to laugh. I'm so glad they liked it. I was nervous, I mean this is my first film, and I want all good things coming from it.

"I bet you she gets pregnant" Tae jokes to Jimin.

"No. Did you not see the ending. Jay obviously was playing a man who was like a criminal or something. The gunshot means either her and him died" J-hope says.

They all were discussing their theories and it was hilarious. I couldn't help but notice the only one who hadn't spoken a word was Joon himself.

"What did you think?" Yoogni asks him, as I look up to him, he glances at me and then turns away quickly.

"I think dinner was amazing. Thank you"

He states getting up and walking out the living room. I sigh at his response, I look to Yoongi who looked at me.

I then swallowed my pride and ignored the thoughts in my head telling me to leave him alone as I got up from the couch following him.

I walk into the kitchen and noticed Joon was getting something to drink out of the fridge, I place my bowl down.

"You know, if you didn't like the trailer all you had to do was say it. Not ignore the question" I tell him crossing my arms.

He chuckles before taking a sip from his water, "if this is how your going to act the entire trip here, please stay far away from me" I tell him.

"Ok" he responds almost to quickly.

Okay? Okay?

Boy what?

I sigh, nodding. "You what NamJoon.. screw you" I say rolling my eyes about to walk out to the kitchen when he catches me of guard and quickly grabs my arm turning me around.

"What?" I ask him knowing he had something to say, I mean he doesn't pull me back for no reason.

"Did you fuck him?" The words escaped from his mouth causing me to look confused.

I laughed at his stupid question. As if I'd ever have actual sex with Jay. I consider Jay my friend, and he's like ten years older then me.

Oh. He wasn't joking he was serious.

I arched my eyes brows, "What?" I ask him.

I can't believe he'd even ask that.

"Jay Park. Did you have sex with him?" He asks me looking down at me and I could promise you he was dead serious.

"Is that what's been bothering you? The idea of me opening my legs for him.. for anyone other then you?", I ask him.

I watch as he clinches his jaw trying to control his anger. "Answer the question, Normani"

"Let me go" I tell him seriously.

"Answer the question"

"Why do you care if I am? It's not like I'm your girlfriend. Hell, I'm not even your fake one"

"Because I need to know"