THEY WENT TO THE DAMN GRAMMYS. THE FLAVOR. TALENT. THEIR MINDS.

-

"sometimes I tell myself, "no. There isn't anything Normani would do that could jeopardize her career" and which and every single time you do something reckless I seem to be corrected" Brandon tells me pacing back and forth across the hospital room.

I roll my eyes sighing.

"It wasn't like it was anything that serious"

You should of saw the way this man was looking at me. He was furious as if I had lied to him.

"You don't think you lying, pretending as if you weren't sick and risking your health backstage of an important Music Award isn't serious?" He asks me.

"I'm fine"

"How was I supposed to know that when I get a call from one of the boys that you collapsed and had a fever of 102?" He asks.

"But I'm fine now"

"You don't get it do you? Regardless if you are fine now or not, you should've told me. Told someone. So things like this can be avoided. What was so important you had to pretend as if you weren't sick", he snaps at me.

I remain silent, watching as he was no longer patient.

"Normani, I'm supposed to look after you while the time being. I can't do that if you don't tell me things like this" he says in soft tone as there was a knock on the door.

I turn to the door that opened and revealed a pretty nurse with a clipboard.

"Oh, you're awake. That's good" she pauses before looking down at her clipboard then up at us again.

"The doctor said you are able to go home after they run a few test... the only thing he suggests for you to do is just to relax and drink lots of fluids" she continues before handing Brandon a slip of paper.

"That is meditation Ms.Kordei must take every morning and night daily" she tells me and he nods.

Moments after she left, Brandon turns back to me. "This conversation isn't over, okay. I'll be back" he tells me walking out the door and shutting it behind him.

I lay back in bed, sighing.

This didn't go as expected. I thought I was fine. Okay. Okay enough to make it back to lounge and just relax but I guess not.

After I fainted, I was rushed into the hospital which if you ask me was very extreme because people faint all the time and never need to go to the E.R.

But since I'm like a famous person or whatever they made a big deal out of it. It was all over the news, thank god there wasn't any photos of me fainting or anything.

But I feel bad about the whole thing, I honestly should have listened to BamBam. Instead I make everyone including the boys worry about me.

I was brought out my thoughts when the door opened, I sat up turning to the door to see Taehyung, J-hope, Jimin, Jung-Kook, Jin and Yoongi.

Taehyung smiled as he realized I was finally awake. They all were still wearing there performance outfits. Jung-Kook held a large teddy bear, and Yoongi held "happy birthday" balloons causing me to look at him confusedly.

But where was Joon.

"This was all they had downstairs" he tells me causing me to laugh.

"You guys didn't have to do this. I'm fine. Honestly", I tell them getting me anything wasn't necessary.

"You said that last time and look what happened?" Jimin jokes at the very stupid situation we were in right now.

"At least the performance tonight went well", I say smiling.

"You scared us, Normani. How can you even be in a good mood right now? Your in a hospital" J-hope asks me.

"Because it wasn't that much of a big deal"

"You fainted" Taehyung points out the obvious.

"But I'm fine now" I tell them all.

"Fine? You call being in a hospital fine?" The familiar voice of NamJoon asks standing at the door asks me.

I remain silent. Watching as he enters the hospital room.

"You taking your health for a joke isn't funny, Normani. You could've gotten really hurt" he tells me as if I didn't already know that.

"But I didn't"

I say softly letting him know I was okay.

"But you could've"

God, why couldn't he just be happy that I was alright like the rest of the guys.

"But I didn't, okay"

At this point him and I were going back and forth like we were in a relationship or something, and it was annoying.

"Why are you so stubborn?"

"I don't need you to lecture me, okay", I snap causing the tension to be awkward as the rest of the boys looked around at each other in confusion.

"Well someone should. You have multiple opportunities to tell anyone of us that you weren't feeling well. We couldn't helped you, we would've made arrangements for you so something like this could be avoided"

He was literally talking to me as if I was his child or something. I understand he cared about me but seriously.

"If all you came to do is yell at me and tell me what I did was a stupid thing then you just should leave" the words escape from my mouth before I even got to process.

His eyebrow arches as he was taken back from what I said. The room was silent.

"Looks like you guys have some things to discuss, we'll leave" Yoongi says.

"What? I want to know what's going to— Jin cut Jung-Kook off by slapping him against the head and pulling him out the room.

Jimin, Taehyung and J-hope follows Yoongi out and the door closes leaving NamJoon and I.

Now that I think about it, Joon and I did have a lot to talk about. We haven't been able to because of our busy schedules and everything going on, and it's sucked.

Because at a point and time Joon was like my best friend out of all the guys. I was so close to him but now it feels like we are strangers.

I sigh, "I'm sorry." I finally spoke breaking the silence.

"No. I am. Your right, you don't need me to lecture you" he tells me.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I just wanted tonight's performance to go well, and that's why I didn't say anything because I know if I did, it would worry you guys" I explain honestly.

"But that's our job, mani. All of us. When you first join BTS we all promised each other that we would take care of you, no matter how hard you try to tell us that you didn't need it. It's our job to make sure your okay... it's my job" he says causing me to look up at him.

Our eyes met for a second before he turns and looks away.

"And seeing you... you wouldn't wake up... it just scared me. I didn't know how to help you or what to do and I was scared that you wouldn't be okay" he explains with his back faced towards me.

"Why?" I ask him.

He turns in confusion, "why do you care about me?" I ask him.

Finally a conversation that needed to happen.

"Because it's my— I cut him off, "and please don't tell me you have too because your the leader of our group", I pause causing him to look at me because I knew that's what he was going to say.

But no. I wanted an honest answer.

"Answer my question, Joon. Why do you care about me?" I ask him.

He hesitates before answering my question, "because I'm incapable of leaving you alone" he tells me, not giving me enough information.

"not good enough. I'll only ask you one more time. Why... do you... like me, NamJoon?" I ask him with my heart pounding furiously.

"I care because I like you, Normani. And not how a friend is supposed to like a friend. But you already knew of my feelings long before any of this so why ask me that question?" He asks me.

"Because I just want to understand why you lie to yourself and the entire world and say you're dating her when your not"

He sighs looking away.

"I can't talk about it"

"You can't or you don't want too", I ask him pushing buttons.

"Both" he tells me.

"I deserve to know and you know it"

"For what? You think I'm going to tell you and then magically you and I will get to be together? Life doesn't work like that, Normani. I did it because I care about her" he tells me.

Of course you do.

I nod processing his words, "I'm not telling you because I also care about you. Because I care about your feelings more then mine", he says.

"If that were true you wouldn't have told the whole world that lie" I say in concern tone that let RM know I was upset.

"Come on, don't be like that"

"Don't be like what? You know this is the longest conversation we've had in days? And it's sucks because I remember three months ago us being unbreakable and now it's like we're strangers" I tell him.

"You don't mean that"

"I do. And it's worse because I like you, and I shouldn't. Because you are very confusing and complicated man. You make me feel things I shouldn't feel, you make me act ways I shouldn't act. I do things I normally wouldn't do because of you. And I don't know it's that's a bad thing but I can tell you it's most certainly not a good thing" I tell him everything I've been holding back for weeks.

"Normani"

"Your right. You don't have to tell me if you don't want too. You can go now" I tell him motioning to the door behind him.

Before he could say anything there was a knock on the door. The door opened and we both turned to see BamBam holding flowers and get well balloons.

I smile at his appearance, finally someone I wanted to see.

"Sorry, I wasn't interrupting something was I?" He asks before entering the room.

"Yes, I— I cut NamJoon off, "no. You weren't. RM was getting ready to leave, right?" I ask turning to him.

Joon looked down at me in disbelief, "right" the words came out his mouth.

BamBam walked towards me, passing RM, who slowly walked out of the room.

"I'm glad your okay" BamBam words faded as the door shut, and RM walked out the room.

I didn't want him to leave.

But now that he did, it opened my eyes to a lot of things.

How him and I were never going to be anything more then friends. How I was crazy for still thinking that there was even a chance.

How I allowed myself to get upset over him again.