"메말라버린 맘이 바스러진 꿈이

벽에 걸린 꽃잎같이

dry, dry, dry

dry, dry, dry, dry

dry, dry, dry

dry, dry, dry, dry"

The song of Girls Day blared through the speakers of the BigHit Entertainment dance studio as I slid crossed the floor dancing to the music.

I stared at myself in the mirror.

"I got you so thirsty" I sang as I swayed my hips to the fast hip hop beat.

I had been practicing by myself for a couple of hours. I wanted to make sure I tightened up on my performance. Since I was the only girl in the group and is black, most of the attention would be on me.

I counted the steps in my head moving along to the beat, I was prepared to go full out for the song when it stopped.

I breathed heavily realizing it. I turned around to see BamBam standing there next to the speaker, clapping slowly and smirking meaning he obviously turned it off.

I sigh as he approached me with his smirking but very attractive face.

"That was quite entertaining" he says giving me a compliment.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"As much as you want me to be here for you, I'm not. I'm here to practice for our performance coming up very soon. Please don't tell me you forgot" he asks before placing his bag down.

"How could I when that's all you talk about on social media"

He turns to me. "Good to know to follow me" he smiles flashing his fuck boy smile.

I roll my eyes. The more and more I got used to him, the more and more I am annoyed at myself that I walked into the wrong room backstage at the Seoul Music Awards.

"Only because of that contract" I remained him the only reason any of this was even happening was because of his company joining ours.

"Anyway... let's let's talk about something more interesting, like my jacket. When exactly are you planning on giving it back to me?" He asks.

I roll my eyes in annoyance. Literally that's all he talks about is his stupid jacket. As if I wanted to keep it.

"Is that like the only jacket you own?"

"No. But the one I let you borrow is very special to me"

"Why give something away if it was special, obviously that means it wasn't special enough" I spat at me.

"Oh.. I hope it's okay I brought some people with me" he tells me changing the entire conversation from a jacket to something else before walking to the door opening it. Suddenly six tall attractive boys walked into the room, I stood still with my arms crossed.

"Wow" I hear one of them say looking at me. BamBam quickly eyed the one who said that making it seem as if I was his.

"Normani. These are the members of GoT7" he pauses introducing them to me as he all either waved, nodded or smiled at me. He continued, "you guys this is Normani Kordei from BTS" he finishes.

"hey" I smiled softly dropping the bitchy act I just had towards BamBam wanting to make a good first impression.

"It's so nice to finally meet you. We've all heard good things about you. I'm Jackson", he says formally introducing himself and then placing his hand for me to shake.

I slightly smiled shaking his hand, turning to whoever stood next to him.

"I'm mark" he says waving I guess not wanting physical contact which is completely fine.

"I'm Jin-Young... but you can call me Jin"

Like that won't be hard enough having two Jin's.

"I'm JB" he says putting up the peace sign.

I turn to the other two who stood quietly and red. Like they were nervous around me or something.

"That's Kim Yugyeon and this is Choi Young-Jae. Sometimes he just goes by Jae" BamBam speaks for the two.

I nod.

"Well, I'm Normani. You guys probably already know that. I'm formally from Fifth Harmony The American Girl Group. I don't know how else to introduce myself" I say awkwardly causing Jackson and Mark to laugh.

"She's cute" Jackson says turning to BamBam, and then back to me, he froze at his words.

"Not saying that your cute or anything. I mean you are. No wait. You're more then cute. Oh- okay. I'm going to shut up now", he rambled on causing the boys and myself to laugh at him.

"They're not usually like this. I think you make them nervous"

BamBam tells me, and I can't help back think all Korean guys are like this. Nervous around really pretty girls they first meet.

"I'm not nervous. It's just different you know. You're not anything we thought you would be" he says and for a second I almost felt offended.

I crossed my arms, looking at Mark who looked at me, as the boys of GoT7 looked at both him and I.

I slowly approached him, "and what exactly did you think I would be?" I asked him.

"Well, when Got7 heard the news that BTS had a new member we automatically thought it was a guy who probably didn't have a lot of experience. But once we found out it was a girl, and it was you. It was like mind-blowing. For all of us" he explains calmly.

Oh.

"Why?" I asked I had already knew the answer. I just wanted to see if they would actually say it.

"Because you know... your a girl... many people didn't even know that a girl could join an already made up group" Jackson explains.

"And because I'm black"

Their face expression were unreadable like they were shocked I had even mentioned my skin color.

"No. No. That's not what he meant" BamBam tells me making it seem like I was upset but I wasn't.

Its the truth.

"No. It's okay you guys can say it. That I'm black", I say.

"Normani, Jackson didn't mean— I cut BamBam off, "it's okay. Honestly. I'm not mad or anything. Its the truth. I'm black. It's funny because there are still people to this day who either doubt me or hate me because of it. But that isn't going to stop me" I tell them honestly.

"I'm sorry if we offended you" Jae says honestly.

It was adorable.

"Stop apologizing. All of you. I'm not offended at all" I tell him.

"Are you sure?" BamBam asks.

Maybe BTS was wrong. They are actually sweet and kind. Maybe BTS didn't get the chance to even know them that's probably why they were so quick to jump to conclusions about the members of Got7.

Before I could even tell him to just drop him the door was opened, I looked up to see Jung-kook and Suga walking into the room laughing.

Probably about something stupid.

Once they saw that the dance studio wasn't empty and I wasn't alone their laughing almost immediately turned into straight faces.

The Got7 members stared down the two members of BTS, as Jimin, V, and Jin followed in the door behind them.

It didn't take long for NamJoon and J-hope to get here either. I stood in between both groups.

"RM!" Jackson shouts to NamJoon catching me off guard, I turned to Jackson who walked out of line where he stood and approached where I stood.

NamJoon dropped his bag walking towards Jackson with a straight face.

I stood unsure about all of this. How the hell was this even going to work? The boys hate each other?

I swallowed hard watching as Jackson reached out his hand, NamJoon sized the hell out of him.

"I think it's time we finally call a truce. After all of these years" Jackson says.

RM glanced at me, as I looked at him watching his every move.

"What do you say?" Jackson asked.

NamJoon turned back to the boys of BTS who stared down the boys of GoT7.

Oh god.

Why did I even think was a good idea.

-

"FIVE...SIX...SEVEN...EIGHT" I shout loudly as the music started, the fourteen boys members of Got7 and BTS began to dance to the mashup of Hard Carry and Fire which both songs are huge major hits of each group.

I nodded my head watching them from behind. They look good as fuck. They most likely didn't even need me. Most of the boys thought that anyway so I decided to sit out anyway.

"FIRE, oh" Members of BTS sang as the fourteen boys danced in sync.

"Hard Carry, ah!" Members of GOT7 sang afterwards.

After the music was over, and the boys stood breathing heavily. I went to applaud them on their amazing dancing when I was beat to the chase.

I turned to see Bang Si-Hynk and Brandon enter the room. I just like everyone else in the room turned to both of them.

"Good job. All of you" Si-Hynk says causing the boys to bow at him, thanking him for the compliment.

Brandon eyes land on me.

"So why aren't you dancing with them?"

"Because I would look out of place. There are 14 boys, me being that one girl would just look awkward", I confess.

"Besides she probably wouldn't be able to keep up. Both of our songs combined is a very difficult choreograph to follow. Specially for a girl" Mark says sounding as if that was a insult.

"Yeah but is Normani is a very talented dancer. Give her a beat and she'll hit it every single one of them" j-hope says disagreeing with Mark.

Who i thought was sort of right. It's true.

"Mark's right. The song is very fast and I've never danced to a mashup type song like that"

"So you don't want to dance with the boys?" Bang Si-Hynk asked me.

I turn away from the boys slowly approaching both Brandon and Si-Hynk. "Can you talk? In private", I say at almost a whisper not wanting the boys to hear our conversation.

He nods.

"Carry on, boys. We'll be back" Si-Hynk instructs the boys to do so, as him and I walk out the dance studio.

The door shuts and the music started again.

I turn to him, "I can't do it. What if I mess it up for the boys. You don't know how long they've been needing this collaboration", I try my best to explain.

"what's the problem? You're an excellent performer, Normani. You are apart of BTS now meaning any performance they do, you have to do as well even if you think you'll look out of place you won't be. You know why?" He pauses.

"Because your the "it" factor that BTS needs. The "it" girl that every fangirl wants to be, and every guys wants to be with. This is a very male dominated industry. Stop allowing it to be like that" Brandon tells me.

I nod.

"He's right", Si Hynk says walking towards me.

"I didn't pick you to join BTS because I thought you were good. I picked you because I knew you were. I knew you'd be able to adapt to certain situations where other people can't. Stop telling yourself you can't when you know you can"

I nod processing what Hynk was saying.

"So I'm gonna need you to go back in there, and so those fourteen boys whose boss" Brandon says.

"I want you to dance to a different song first... you know "Bang Bang Bang" by BigBang" He asks.

I nod with confusion.

I inhaled and exhaled deeply before walking back into the dance studio, to find the music off and the boys were either on the floor stretching, drinking water or taking a break.

My eyes automatically went to RM who leaned against the wall talking to Suga, he looked at me which also caused Suga to look at me.

Bang Si-Hynk and Brandon entered the room behind me, I watched as Brandon walked to the speaker.

"What's going on?" JB asked standing up from the floor.

"Some of you probably think Normani isn't fit for this performance, maybe this will change all of your minds" Brandon says starting the music.

I looked in the mirror as the fast beat started, I slid across the floor dancing to the music. I sped up as the chorus was building.

I could here the gasp and mouth drops, I stared at myself in the mirror as I then seductively arched my back to the ground.

"BANG BANG BANG", I say as I laid against the floor before moving my hips pulling myself off the ground.

Seconds later the song stopped, I stood there looking at myself in the mirror breathing heavily. Bang Si-Hynk and Brandon were no longer there.

Without hesitation I received a round of applause from both the boys of Got7 and BTS.

I walked towards the wall grabbing my bag as RM walked toward me.

"You didn't have to that to prove that you deserved to dance with us"

He didn't get it.

No matter what I do, or how I do it... I have to work ten times harder then anyone sending in this room.

"Actually I did. Because unlike everyone else in this room, I am the only girl. Meaning you guys underestimate either way" I spat.

"We didn't say you couldn't do, Normani", Jin joins our conversation.

"You didn't have to say it. I already know what all of you are thinking. That I'm a girl. I wouldn't be able to catch or the choreograph might be to difficult" I say loud enough that almost everyone in this room could hear.

"If any one of us upset you, I apologize on be-half of Got7", BamBam says.

"Told you this was never going to work" J-hope mentions.

I needed to cool down before I snap. Literally snap and scream at all of them.

"You know what... just forget I said anything. I'm going home" I say about to walk towards the door when RM held my arm.

I swallowed hard as we stood in front of everyone, him touching me and me allowing him to touch me.

"You can't seriously be mad me, can you?", he asks.

To avoid any confusion, I pull my arm out of his hold, "enjoy the rest of your practice" I spat walking out the room.

"Normani... Wait" I hear his voice shout out from behind me and footsteps follow.

I turned around to see a worried and also confused NamJoon, "What?" I asked him anger flustered all over my face.

"Just... talk to me. What's wrong?" He asks.

"What's wrong? What's wrong is everything. I was stupid to think this could actually work"

"But it is? None of the boys are arguing with any of Got7. We've actually been friendly" he says honestly.

That wasn't what I was talking about.

"I wasn't talking about that, NamJoon"

His eyes meet mine and realizes exactly what I meant.

"Normani— I cut him off, "it's like no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough. For any of you guys. And you know the only reason I'm considered important is because of BTS. Before this... not a lot of people knew who "Normani" was", I say tears forming in my eyes.

He remained quiet watching me fall apart in front of him.

"I don't think I can do this anymore"

"What are you talking about, normani?"

I look up to him, "you know exactly what I'm talking about" I say softly.

"Don't. Don't you dare say it" he tells me causing me to break eye contact.

"You guys don't need me" I tell him honestly.

"Yes we do. I- need you, Normani"

Those words alone made me weak, I wanted to fall into his arms and allow him to hold me.

"No. You don't. Because if you did— we wouldn't be how we are now. One minute kissing, and having fun together, then not even talking. I don't want to be just one of the guys to you, NamJoon" I tell him what I have been feeling for the longest.

"But you aren't just one of the guys. You are so much more than that"

I was about to say something when footsteps approached from behind RM. I quickly turned around after watching RM turn around to see who was there.

I quietly walked away turning the corner, getting into the elevator.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I needed a break. From all of this.

I needed to go back home just for a day or two to see my friends and family. I missed them. I haven't seen them in so long because I have been focused on this.

This career that no longer feels like I even want.