I am incredibly excited about the day as I watch Jimin spreading icing over his hot cinnamon rolls while Jin sets the table. Jin has been busy moving since he arrived. I recognize that level of busyness. He's trying to stay active to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Like the pain stemming from his breakup with Namjoon, I presume. I've known Namjoon for years and he is deeply in love with Jin as I believe Jin is with him. Last time I spoke with Namjoon he didn't want to talk about the break-up. When I asked how he was doing he simply said good and then started talking about the weather. He is not good and nor is Jin. Jin bears a forced smile that does not reach his eyes and I believe if he stops moving, he'll have an outburst of tears.

"Jin how are you doing?" I say quietly as he places silverware around the table. He doesn't look up, he just murmurs, "Okay."

I go over to him and touch his hand to get him to cease moving for a moment. He freezes and looks at me with tired redden eyes.

"Kookie it's Christmas, it's tough and I'm grateful to not be alone." He continues to move around the table as I follow him.

"Jin, we have not had time to talk. I want you to know I care about you, and I'm pleased you are here," I say faintly, with the hope to be supportive.

"Have, you talked to him Jin? Are you trying to work it out? I know you both love each other and,-" I say as he sharply cuts me off.

"Kookie, I know you mean well but, I-I just don't want to talk about it. And no, we have not talked." He releases an exasperated breath and finishes his task.

"Jin, I know you love him and that he loves you." I take his hand once again halting his movement. He starts to shake, turns, and hugs me close as he sobs into my shoulder.

"Jin it will be okay," I whisper. "Just give it time."

He clears his throat and then takes a step back. "Kookie, I compromised my values for my job. Joonie is all about success, fame, and money. I just felt so dirty when that despicable reporter was questioning you. I can't believe I put you in a position like that. I should have been stronger and protected you and Tae. That was my job." His chin trembles as he reaches for a napkin on the center of the table.

"It was brutal after the interview, but Tae and I are okay now. I also think you might be wrong about Namjoon." His eyebrows draw closer, and his face tightens.

"He'd do anything to keep the show number one. He crossed a line and I followed him over it, willingly, Kookie," he scoffs. "You have so many people that love you and the show. We lied. Did I tell you about the thousands of letters and email we received after our fabricated Uno moved away with our imaginary family. The story I manufactured. People were pouring out their hearts and many sharing their own personal stories about losing their pets or best friends. I felt sick to my stomach for my part in this. When I told Namjoon he just shrugged and said we did what had to be done. Then that fucker Tommie Chin rears his ugly head like the serpent he is and starts this shit. It was a crushing blow, and I just can't be a part of this shit show anymore." Tears steam down his face, as I swallow hard, feeling stunned and queasy. I bring my hand to my mouth and sit down.

"Kookie, I knew it would hurt you so I did not tell you and I should not be telling you now. What a fuck-up thing to do on Christmas. Please forgive me," He diverts his eyes to the silverware on the table. I clear my throat and pause for a few seconds to think before I say my next words.

"Jin." I lean forward and taking his hand. "It's not your fault. When you came on board the lie had already been woven and we are number one because of your brilliance in direction, planning, crisis management and publicity. I won't do the show without you," I share as Jin looks up instantaneously and starts to wipe his eyes.

"I plan to make things right. I'm not sure how just yet, but I could use your help on how to best do that. As far as Namjoon, he came to see me the morning after and said what I needed to hear to get my ass on that train to be with Tae. He showed me some tough love that I appreciate, and he will support me to do whatever I need to do to make it right regardless of the consequences and we both know what that means." He raises his eyebrows and pulls his head back quickly as he appears startled.

"What? Namjoon said that?" I bite down on my lip unsure if I should share more intimate details. I pull in a quick breath and go forward.

"Jin, he said that his decisions had cost him you and that he forgot the things that are important in life like love and friendship." I hear a soft gasp as he touches his lips with his fingers.

"Kookie, he really said that?" He questions again.

"Yes, he did," I gently smile at him and catch a faint shimmer of light in his eyes as he raises his eyebrows with a quizzical gaze.

"Has he tried to get in touch with you?" I pry wanting to know more about where they are and how I might help.

"He's called and texted me often. I haven't been able to take his calls or respond to his messages. He even showed up at my home a few times and I would not let him in. I've just been so hurt. I-I love him. I-I just can't continue like we were." he says as his voice cracks.

"Are you willing to have a conversation with him? I know you're hurting and so is he." He sits down next to me. There's an awkward pause and then he slowly nods, yes.

"Yes, I'll have a conversation with him. I-I don't know if it will change anything. I love what he said, but does he mean it." We stand and hug as Jimin walks into the room.

"Okay, let's have some breakfast," Jimin says as I nod. Tae is coming down the stairs and I hold back and wait for him. He looks so handsome and blissful as I feel fluttering in my belly.

"You ready to start this day baby?" I answer him with a quick on his lips as he hooks my arm with his and walks me to my chair.

Suga prepares a small bowl of food for Tannie and comes into the dining room. As Tae walks over to sit next to me. Suga clears his throat, and Tae looks up.

"Dude, I was saving that seat for Jimin."

"Oh, were you," Tae says and moves to the other side of me. I smile and hold in my giggle. I watch Suga and he has not taken his eyes off Jimin. He is smitten and it is too charming. Jimin brings in a tray of sliced fruit and finally a tray of warm cinnamon rolls. He sits down and Suga nervously smiles when Jimin looks over to him.

"Jimin these smell scrumptious," Jin says as we all agree.

"Cinnamon rolls with icing have always been a part of Christmas for me and Kookie," Jimin announces as I concur.

We all serve ourselves and begin our meal.

"So, what are we doing after breakfast?" Tae inquires.

"It's your choice." I pull off a chunk of my cinnamon roll and toss it into my mouth, close my eyes and quietly moan savoring succulent sweet taste.

"I think I'd like to decorate the tree first," Tae expresses as his big boxy smile expands.

"That would be great. I have all our ornaments and I'm too excited," Jimin says.

"Sounds fun," Jin adds as he pours himself a cup of hot coffee.

"Tae you got our ornaments, so sounds wonderful," Suga chimes in as he bites into his cinnamon roll, and I see his eyes roll back.

"This is really delicious Jimin," Suga compliments as Jimin smiles shyly.

"Sounds great babe. After that you and I can get the Ham and crown roast in the oven." Tae rubs my arm in accord.

"Jimin and Jin, after breakfast I'll show you to your rooms. You must have the grand tour of this place. It's sensational," I remark as Suga clears his throat.

"Uh, you guys were so busy working in the kitchen. So, when I unpacked the car I uh, brought in your bags and put them in your rooms," Suga shares as he tensely fidgets with his silverware.

"Suga that was really sweet of you," Jimin says as Suga looks up with a wide gummy smile and blushes.

"Thanks, Suga. Where did you put me?" Jin asks.

"I uh, gave you a really nice private room right down the hall. It's quiet and away from these two horny love birds," he says looking at me and Tae as everyone laughs and I feel my cheeks warm up. "Uh, Jimin you're on the second floor, uh across from me."

Suga looks over to Jimin and then diverts his eyes to his plate as Jimin nods with amusement. Tae is laughing as I think Suga may have purposefully setup those arrangements to his benefit. Good for him. Hopefully he and Jimin will connect and see if there is more for them.

"Yep, that my brother, a real gentleman and always helping out," Tae say as we all chuckle.

This place is amazing," Jimin says. "Who did all of this fabulous decorating. I love it. This is such a beautiful retreat."

"I came up with our team of decorators several days ago. They did a fabulous job, didn't they, but I don't recall all of these nice soft lights," Jin says looking around the grand space.

"That is because my man put them up very early this morning while I was sleeping. Isn't this great," I claim as I reach over and squeeze Tae's hand as he is devouring his cinnamon roll with a side of fresh pineapple.

"That's my brother. An all-around nice guy and very handy," Suga says as we all chuckle and nod in agreement.

"Let's get this holiday started," Jimin says and turns up the Christmas music as we all enjoy our breakfast together. Jin suggests we all go around the table and talk about our best Christmas moments.

Jimin and I both talk about cooking in the kitchen with our mom. It is such a warm space, and I can't help but feel sad that mom will never meet my love. She would have really liked Tae and I know he would have liked her.