As I exit the elevator and walk down the long hall towards Kookie's office I can't conceal my smile thinking of the last month with Kookie. The last few weeks have been incredibly wonderful. We have gotten close in every way.

I feel as if I know him well. I have shared with him things that I have never shared with another, not even Suga. I am tremendously relaxed and comfortable with him.

I am in love with him and want to be with him every day. I want to wake up with him in the mornings and kiss him goodnight before closing my eyes. We have a busy day, but a day that will be exciting and enjoyable, so I believe.

Today is my last guest appearance on Kookie's show which should be fun. Little did I know by just being a good citizen and rescuing Mrs. Choo and her one-year-old son I would find the love of my life. My smile broadens at the thought of Kookie and me together. I have envisioned us together since the first day I walked onto his show.

Kookie has invited me to the show's Christmas party, and I can't wait. Suga and Jimin are also coming, together and bringing Tannie. I have been with Kookie for the last few nights but have been talking to Suga each day. He reported that he is getting to know Jimin and that it's going well. He gave no more details and I did not ask.

Tomorrow, Kookie and I will travel by train to my home. I picked up the tickets this morning and feel a bit nervous. It is a nice home, but not the spacious penthouse that Kookie is accustomed to. I'm sure he will like it, though.

I cannot wait for him to meet Zeus as I miss him terribly. We will stay there for a few days and then travel to Kookie's snowy mountain cottage. I plan to tell him I'm in love with him tomorrow night as we sit in front of the big stone fireplace in the family room. I do not know if he's ready, but I am. I feel like I will explode and yell it out with each touch and kiss.

Before reaching Kookie's office I see Jin who asks me to meet with him before I see Kookie. I guess my kiss will have to wait. I meet with Jin who tells me about an interview that has been scheduled after the show. He tells me it will be short however he needs to prep me first.

"Jin, I have been interviewed before," I tell him as I settle into a comfortable chair and chuckle softly. Jin gives me a friendly smile as he folds his hands into each other and rests them on his desk.

"Of course, you have Taehyung, but this will be a bit different. The person doing the interviewing will likely be looking to sensationalize the interview. Do you know what I mean Tae?" Jin says leaning forward.

"I'm assuming you mean he's looking for a shocking scoop. Something to grab his audience which is frequently done in entertainment," I say with a judgmental eye roll. Is that what you mean Jin?" I say as he nods his head and smiles softly with a bit of a chuckle.

Before Jin can respond there is a knock at the door and Namjoon enters. He takes a seat next to Jin and tells him to continue as if he was late for my interview. He nods at me, and Jin continues.

"Yes, Taehyung, he may be looking for a shocking scoop as you said. We want you to be cautious about how you answer. This interviewer is known for getting the scoop on celebrities," Jin says as Namjoon turns towards me.

"He's looking for dirt, Taehyung," Namjoon says as I nod and furrow my eyebrows questioning his statement.

"Why have this interviewer do the interview if we are afraid of what he may write?" I ask as Namjoon nods his head.

"Good question, Taehyung. Unfortunately, he has been brought in by the network because he has a huge following. He writes a very popular entertainment blog. While this will not be filmed, it will be in print, and millions of people will read it. You and Kookie are big news. Your popularity has skyrocketed, and people want more information on you," Namjoon says as Jin smiles tentatively and nods along in agreement.

"I'm assuming you both expect this guy to start digging around in my behind-the-scenes relationship with Kookie," I share as both Jin and Namjoon look at each other and then chuckle.

"Yes, Taehyung, I suspect that is where he will go. That would be a huge story. Kookie told me that you both are waiting for the new year to go public with your relationship, is that true?" Jin probes as Namjoon raises an eyebrow and give me an inquisitive glare.

"Yes, that is true. We don't want to distract from the show. Kookie thinks it is best, and I support him. But I do not care either way what people know or think about us. "This is a good show and Kookie is the best. I cannot imagine that there is any scandal that would harm Kookie. I have not known him long, but I know a great deal about him.

"He is a quality guy that is compassionate with a big heart. He is honest and hardworking, and I care for him deeply. I can tell you that I would not be happy with anyone making up salacious stories about Kookie to increase their audience.

"Kookie is different. He's not all Hollywood. He does not do horrible things to gain his audience. He a top-notch chef and has earned his celebrity." I say as Namjoon smiles wide and Jin nervously wrings his hands.

After Jin goes over a few pointers I go see Kookie. He appears a bit anxious about the interview which concerns me a bit. He's always so cool. I'm sure it will all go well being the professional that he is.

"Kookie, I will follow your cues. I told Jin I would not do the earpiece with him talking in my ear. It would feel creepy and make me nervous," I say sliding my hand around Kookie's waist and pulling him close for my kiss before I go into make-up, but he pushes back.

"Tae, please, this is important. I just don't want this to go wrong," he says looking at me intently as if he is scared. I have not seen him nervous before but it's a big night and he has the weight of the show on his shoulders. Of course, he's scared. I want to be a comfort to him.

"Baby, I'm sorry. This is important to you, and I will do my best," I say as Kookie tosses his arm around me and hugs me.

"Tae, I just want this to be over, have our Christmas party and get into bed with my man. I cannot wait to start our holiday. Tomorrow our train leaves at 9:50 am. I want to see your farm and meet Zeus. I want to be with you Tae," Kookie says as I pull him to my lips.

Our kiss is deep and passionate. I can't seem to hold him close enough and it ends when we can no longer breathe.

"Okay, off to make up you go and I will see you in the studio," Kookie says and pushes me out the door giving me a quick peck on the lips.

The show goes well, and the audience is supercharged. Kookie and I both spend time talking with the audience after the show and it is an amazing feeling. Kookie checks in with me as we walk to Kookie's office for the interview.

"You good, Tae?" He asks with a subtle smile.

"I'm fine Kookie. Let's get this done so we can get to our holiday started," I say as he giggles and warms my insides.

Tae and I enter my office and find Namjoon, Jin and Max Moon sitting and waiting for us. I take a seat behind my desk as Tae takes a seat in the empty chair next to Max while Jin and Namjoon sit across from him on the couch. Max has a friendly smile, but I know better than to trust it. He is a fucking shark and he is looking for blood.

"Max, as you know this is Kookie and Taehyung our guest host," Namjoon says as he makes the introductions. I smile softly and nod as does Tae.

"Of course, I know Kookie. I'm a huge fan of your show. Taehyung, you are our hero that has been blowing up all over social media. It is nice to meet you both. Thank you for inviting me in to do this interview. I know that my readers will be excited to read an exclusive article about the show and its newest superstar, Kim Taehyung," he says and turns to Tae as Tae continues to smile softly as I see a faint blush on Tae's cheeks.

"Max, we have our Christmas party this evening which will be starting shortly so we'd like to get this moving," I say as he turns and redirects his attention to me.

He chuckles a bit. "Of course. This is a very busy time for all of you. This should not take long."

He then takes out his phone and looks at what I believe to be a list of questions and starts to record our conversation.

"Kookie, I'll start with you, if that is okay?" he says as I look over towards the couch where Jin is writing notes on his clipboard and Namjoon is sitting back with his legs crossed intently listening.

His questions are quite routine. They focus on the show and Tae's Christmas wish. No serious punches yet. Tae is quite relaxed and does well.

He then asks about Tae and I working together. I field a lot of those questions and give answers that are vague and elusive. I give Tae a few clues which he quickly picks up on.

"Tae," he says. "You and Kookie are both single and gay. I suspect that many of your viewers are curious. I bet the oven is not the only thing that gets heated up in that kitchen," Max says followed by a chuckle.

Jin is biting down on his lip while I notice Namjoon tapping one of his feet on the floor. Tae leans forward and looks at me with a soft relaxed smile.

"Max, I'm a professional and work with attractive men all the time. Just because we are single gay men does not mean that we have romantic feelings for each other," I say giving a look as if his question is preposterous.

"So, you don't have romantic feelings for Taehyung, our hero?" He asks and suddenly I feel hit below the belt by the directness of his question. As I look at Tae, I do not want to deny him. I pause and then Tae jumps in.

"Max, I'm not a professional talk show host. I'm just a normal guy and this question is offensive. Kookie is a famous chef, best-selling author and his brand is known around the world. We have a good connection because Kookie is such a professional. I'll be honest and tell you that I think he's hot. I especially love those tight pants."

Max laughs as does Namjoon and Jin as Tae continues.

"But I'm on the show because he wants to thank me for something I need not be thanked for. A kind deed to help two people who were in trouble. He with the support of his team," Tae says as he looks over at Jin and Namjoon, "are giving me my Christmas wish. It is the best thing that someone has ever done for me. As I said I'm a normal guy that has had a not too normal experience. This Christmas wish means everything to me, and I cannot thank Kookie, Namjoon and Jin enough. After the season ends, I'll get back to my life and who knows what can happen." Tae says as he looks over to me and shows me his big boxy smile as I bite down on my lip hard to hold back my tears.

"Thank you, Taehyung," Max says as I hope we are coming to end of this interview.

"I just have one more thing," he says as he taps on his phone and places it on the table in front of him and turns to me.

"This is off the record, and I turned off my recorder," he says as I swallow hard and prepare myself. Off to the side, I see Namjoon lean in more and place both feet on the floor. Tae remains calm and Jin clears his throat.

"No, I think we are done. We have to get to our staff Christmas party," Jin says which surprises me. Jin has a sense for these things and if he's speaking up, he knows something.

"Max, what is this about?" Namjoon says sliding to the edge of the sofa.

"It's just something I wanted to check out that someone said. It's a rumor and I don't want to ask it on the record because it is unproven. It was actually an accusation that was made by someone you publicly dated," Max says as he looks at me with a bit of a wicked smile.

I feel my stomach turn and without a doubt I know it was that slimy snake, Tommie Chen. I assume he wants to validate the rumor about Tommie and I having sex or some sleazy shit like that. Or maybe the incident that occurred.

"Trust me, I won't print it." He says as if I'd actually trust his slimy ass.

"Is it out of the mouth of one Tommie Chen?" I ask as Jin raises his palm for me to stop.

"Kookie, don't go there," Jin says as I look at Tae and his jaw is quivering, and I know he is angry thinking about the Tommie Chen incident.

"You can deny it. I'd hate to see the issue get leaked and I cannot say nor deny it was from Tommie Chen. I can tell you that this actor, who I cannot name is disgruntled and blames you for his career not doing well."

Max has just confirmed this is Tommie Chen. He also issued a thinly veiled threat about leaking this rumor which I don't appreciate. Before I can speak Tae blurts out.

"Whatever the rumor is it is not true! Especially if it has come from the mouth of Tommy Chen!" Fuck, Tae has taken the bait as I see Namjoon slowly shaking his head as Jin raises his hand to signal that he needs to stop talking but it all happens so quickly, and Max is right on top of it.

"Taehyung, have you had an incident with Tommie Chen that makes you so bitter or is there more to you and Kookie that you are not saying?" Max quickly says as Tae say nothing, and his fist tighten.

"I think we are done," Namjoon says as he looks at me and watches Tae's reaction. But Max is a professional at sleaze and I finally get that this was his end game the entire time, as does Jin because I see it in his eyes as his mouth falls open.

"Taehyung, did you and Tommie Chen have a scuffle? Did something happen that would make him say negative things about Kookie and his show?" He says rapidly as if Tae is a defendant being grilled in court.

Oh, fuck! I chant mentally as I look over at Tae who wants to tell him the truth about the asshole that Tommie is, yet he is restraining himself with effort.

I must get Tae out of this and shout, "Off the record what the fuck did he say, Max!"

"He said that you and your show were phony. He said that you think your viewers are a bunch of suckers and you don't have a dog. That you lied because you are a ratings whore and uses everyone to get what you want, including Taehyung!"

The room goes silent as I fall back into my chair and look at Tae who is boiling angry and looks as if he will explode at any moment. Namjoon jumps in to fix the situation.

"That is ridiculous. If he or you, put out those lies, we will sue," Namjoon roars as Jin turns pale.

"Wait a minute, I did not confirm it was Tommie Chen," Max says looking at me. He got exactly what he wanted. My lack of reaction was all he needed to know the truth. He knows it and so do I. I also know as well as Jin and Namjoon, that he can publish it as only a rumor he heard from a source he cannot reveal. Tae then steps in to defend me which I know is dangerous.

"How dare you or anyone else spread lies about Kookie! You are a fucking scum bag!" Tae shouts. "You do not know Kookie!" He yells as his eyes go dark and threatening.

"With all due respect, Taehyung, I think it is you that does not know this business. I'm sure that we can make sure this does not get leaked," Max says as he rises to leave. And there it was. A threat to leak the rumor in exchange for something else. This is a known move in this business, yet we did not see it coming. But what does he want?

"Let's say we work together and after the holiday, you give me the scoop on the romance between you and Taehyung. I want the exclusive about you two dating," he says as he walks to the door.

He already knew and set us up. God, I hate interviews and this damn business. It then hits me like a ton of bricks that my secret is out as I feel a deep chill run through my body.

"Namjoon, I will be in touch with you after the holiday," he says and looks over to me and smiles as my stomach turns.

"Good luck on your number one show, Kookie. You can expect a raving review that will be out tomorrow with my 5-star recommendation for your Christmas show. Enjoy your holiday," he says and leaves.

Tae is looking at me and the others wondering what the fuck just happened.

"Kookie," Tae says softly. "Why would we give him the exclusive when we go public? Why didn't you defend yourself? Uno was everyone's dog. What an absurd thing to say. Uno was a part of all your viewer's families until he went to live with the family that was caring for him a few weeks ago. What a cruel accusation to make." Tae says as I slowly look up. Namjoon tries to rescue me with a lie.

"Taehyung, Kookie does not have to defend Tommie Chen's lies."

"Stop it Namjoon! No more lies." I say as my eyes and pained expression tell Tae all he needs to know. The hard truth.

"W-What are you saying Kookie? P-Please, tell me you have not been l-lying this entire time. F-For three years," he stammers as if he is dazed.

I clear my throat, "Namjoon and Jin can you please leave us alone?" I request as Tae drops his head and claps onto the arms of his chair so tight that his knuckles become white.

Slowly I rise and move to sit in the chair next to him. We sit silently for a few moments.

"Tae, there is no Uno. There never was," I say slowly in a soft voice just above a whisper. "My team created him as part of packaging me to be more palatable for television. You know like the tight pants," I confess with a forced chuckle, and he says nothing, nor does he move. I don't even hear him breathe.

"Tae, I'm sorry. I was going to tell you tonight," I whisper.

"W-What else have you lied about?" he says in a low voice that is cold and removed. A voice that scares me as I find it hard to breathe.

"Tae, can we not talk about that now, I just-

"Just what Kookie? You just want to tell me more lies. You are no better than the others. D-did you use me? You certainly got your ratings, didn't you?" He says as he looks at me for a moment with the saddest eyes ever.

"No, Tae. This is real. We are real. I-I want to be with you. I-I need you," I say as I reach for his hand, and he moves it away from me. I feel my heart sink as he rises and does not look at me. I have lost those beautiful eyes and my boxy smile. My heart just aches, as I feel horrible for hurting Tae. My chest feels tight and heavy as I struggle to breath.

"I told you everything and yet you couldn't trust me because I guess I was uh, what is the term? The product. Was part of that fucking me too?" He says with a voice so full of hurt and sadness that I just want to die. He rises to leave and staggers a bit and I feel my insides twist into knots.

I run to him and wrap my arms around him from behind. He immediately freezes as I press into his back and he slowly unwraps my arms and whispers, "No," and leaves as I whisper, "Tae, I love you."

As the door shuts, I stagger to the couch and fall limp onto it and sob. It hurts so bad. Oh god, what have I done?

After about 15 minutes I go into the bathroom and wash my face. I want to walk out the door, but I cannot. I keep breaking down into a sobbing mess. I return to the couch and cannot move. I then hear a soft knock and look up.