Saturday November 4th

Love

I stared at the blade in my hands wanting the small object to give me that comfort of pain. I want to see the blood, to feel myself slide the blade over my skin

To feel the pain. I just wanted to feel something again. I'm tired of that emptiness

Just nothing.

I replayed the song that's been keeping me at bay for awhile now. I lowly sang tracing the old marks throughout my arm

At forty-four minutes to four

An angel walked up to my door

Opened the windows to my soul

Told me he thinks that I should know

There's no slowing down

As the globe spins 'round and 'round

You gotta keep going, gotta keep going

Gotta keep going, you gotta keep going

Gotta keep going, you gotta keep going

You gotta keep going, you gotta keep going

You gotta keep going

If there's one thing that I learned

While in those county lines

Is that everything takes time

You have gotta lose your pride

You have gotta lose your mind

Just to find your peace of mind

You have got to trust the signs

Everything will turn out fine

So, why aren't you smiling?

Why aren't you smiling?

Life can get wild when

You're caught in the whirlwind

Lost in the world when

You're chasing the win

You gotta understand

There's really no end, there's really no beginning

There's really no real, there's really no pretending

There's really no fail, there's really no winning

'Cause nothing really isn't, everything really isn't

At forty-four minutes to four

An angel walked up to my door

Opened the windows to my soul

Told me he thinks that I should know

That life only gets harder but you gotta get stronger

This is for my brother, I do this for my daughter

That's why I keep going, that's why I keep going

That's why I keep going

That's why I keep going, I gotta keep going

I gotta keep going, I gotta keep going

I gotta keep going, gotta keep going

Gotta keep going

I gotta show them, that I can keep going

I gotta keep going, I gotta keep going

I gotta keep going

Why aren't you smiling?

Why aren't you smiling?

Life can get wild when

You're caught in the whirl wind

Lost in the world when

You're chasing the win

You gotta understand

There's really no end, there's really no beginning

There's really no real, there's really no pretending

There's really no fail, there's really no winning

'Cause nothing really isn't, everything really isn't

That's why I keep going......

A tear fell from my eyes as I was mindlessly just staring at nothing in particular

"Love ?" I heard the knock from my uncle Sincere as I put the blade under my bed going to open the door for him

"Yea Unc?"

He stared me down to see if I was self harming again he did this every time I was alone for too long.

" some girl from yo school downstairs"

I raise my eyebrow in confusion "huh? Who?"

"Ion remember what she said her name was. Poison Ivy? Mary Jane? Something...the one you always be with when I pick you up from school.... she waiting for you in the living room" I nodded at him as I closed my door and went downstairs to find Willow in the living room sketching in her book

"Wassup Love" she gave me a quick smile removing her attention from her sketchbook

"Hey Willow. Not even on no rude shit... what you doing here? And how you know where I live?"

She shrugged her shoulder like it was no big deal " I was bored wanted to see if you wanted to hang with the gang at Malik's house and the school directory"

"Uhh my unc don't really know y'all for me to just go and hang with y'all like that out random" Damn they had a school directory though

She nodded thinking "you right... you right....aight got it .... MR.JOHNSON?!?"

Girl what the hell

this girl is certified crazy yelling in my uncle house like she lost her mind. Sincere came in with Zion in his hands " girl how all that noise come out yo toothpick built self"

"Sin!" I glared at him as Willow laughed and he shrugged "what y'all need?"

"Love said you wouldn't feel comfortable with her hanging with us at our friend house so can they come here"

I raised my brow looking at Sincere who was staring at me " yea it's cool... but please if you feel like y'all over stayed your welcome... leave"

"Unc!" I glared at him this man hated people in his house so I knew he was deadass about it too.

He smiled as he walked away with Zion. " your uncle fine as hell. Shiii he single?"

I looked at her as she typed away on her phone "ew. Girl you're 16 he ain't checking for you"

she shrugged "this tongue 19"

"Willow shutupp"

She laughed as she connected to the group FT

" So we hanging at Love place? Bet" Judith said

Jordan ass was all in her camera " y'all got snacks? Can we smoke over there cause we can't over here? Y'all got snacks I'm sorry I lost focus that's the most important thing"

" Willow put my bestie on you giving me ugly vibes" Malik said making everyone laugh

"Malik go brush your teeth yellow pages ass bitch" she handed me the phone as I showed my face "hey y'all" I gave a small wave

"Why you saying hey to everyone bestie I said hi to you they wasn't even worried about you" he fake pouted as I laughed when another person joined the call

"Yo."

It was Maliks older brother Saint

He was in a car already smoking a blunt "What y'all on?" He wasn't even paying attention until my name was heard

"We finna head to Love house to hang. You coming?" He picked up his phone focusing on the screen " yea imma slide just send me the addy and no Ian picking no one up" with that he left the call

I rolled my eyes handing Willow her phone back " I'm finna go change" she nodded as she continued talking to everyone

I was making my way upstairs when Sin stopped me " I'm happy to see you making friends"

I shrugged " Yasmín told me to start with little step. Fab we smoke in the garage?"

He nodded his head letting me go " go head and me and Zion finna be in my room watching movies If y'all get hungry just order it and use my card that's on ya phone"

I nodded " ok thanks unc"

" alr kno"

_______________

"BITCH WE NOT FROM 63rd. STRETCH GANG PUT IN WORK!"

Judith and Malik were hype asf when Von came on

I laughed a little as the door to the garage from the kitchen opened up showing Saint "yo uncle let me in"

"Well it wasn't Zion" I mumbled under my breath taking a pull from my blunt

He smirked dapping up everyone as he came and sat beside me "sup love"

"Hey."

Uncle Sin popped his head in the garage " As I've said to the tree branch when y'all feel like you over stayed your welcome....leave. Love I already told you what to do when y'all get hungry I'm finna go drop Zion off at his play date. If any of y'all touch my lifesaver gummies when I come back gimmie my one cause I counted them bitches. And you lil ugly niggas better stay downstairs ain't no reason you uneven forehead asses need to be upstairs. Only Tree Branch and grandma allowed up there "

Judi choked on her water "who is grandma?" Everyone giggled as her brother answered her " if you had to question it you already know the answer"

She pouted and mumbled so Sin wouldn't here "Babydaddy how you gon do me like that" I shook my head as I heard her

He glared at all the guys especially Saint then focused on me "I be back later Love don't mess up my house baby girl and if/when I call to check up on you.. you better answer"

"I got you unc"

He nodded "I'm alr knowing"

"Aight the breakfast club have fun"

He left out as I heard the front door close behind him

"So what we doing?" Jordan asked as he was texting on his phone

I didn't really care what we did as long as I wasn't alone with my thoughts

"Let's go ice skating?" Willow suggested

Girl it's like 90 degrees outside and you talking bout "LeTs gO IcE SkAtInG... she wanna be from Far East so bad in that cold ass weather"

I laughed lowly cause when I use to stay out MD when November hit I had my bubble coat already out but over here in This sunny ass state it's just hot ass weather all the time.

" beach?" I suggested

Everyone seemed cooled with it so I went to grab a swimsuit As everyone was going to go get there's and we'd meet at Malik and Saint house.

I was walking back downstairs as I grabbed everything I needed from my room to find Saint leaning against my front door

"Let's ride."

I studied his facial features taking him in as he did the same . I nodded as he opened the door for me

"Don't be putting yo feet on my uncle door"

He chuckled " my bad love"

"Mhm

____________________

Looks like Little Love has found a group of friends

Will it last ???

_________________

Sorry for any grammatical errors

Fran💕