Every cup, bottle or shot I tried taking tonight was taken by Gavin who strictly told me I wasn't allowed to drink anything. I get it he was only looking out for me but I wanted to have fun too and sober Alex wasn't fun.

I was sitting on top of the kitchen counter with Gavin standing between my legs, his hands were starting to wander and his words were starting to get slurred. I'm not sure how much he's had to drink tonight but it's obviously enough.

I've come to a conclusion that Gavin only drinks when something's bothering him and it's probably because tonight was the big game and now his chance at the football scholarship was really gone.

I wish he would talk to me about it especially so I don't have to be coming up with all these different scenarios in my head as to why he acts the way he does.

Geez, I never used to worry this much about anyone and now I can't seem to stop it.

My eyes look over his shoulder and I see Georgia, she's also wearing a very revealing leopard print costume and she's looking right at me. Gavin notices I'm looking at something so he turns his head to look. Georgia waves at him but he turns his gaze back towards me and smiles.

"I can't tell if she's a Leopard or a clown?" Gavin laughs softly and I continue to laugh with him.

"Gavin you missed the game." A group of guys approach us, I see one of them eyeing me up and down.

Gross.

"Let's take some shots to celebrate!" One of them cheer out loud. "Come on Gavin."

Gavin starts walking with them but I quickly jump off the counter and grab onto his arm before he goes any further. "I think that's enough for one night." I tell him.

"It's one drink Alex." Gavin rolls his eyes and try's to walk away again.

"Okay then if you take one I'm taking one." I say and walk passed him toward the group of guys who already have the shots prepared. "It's just one drink right?" I mock his words.

"I'm not letting you take a fucking shot." He growls and pulls me out of the room. "What are you even thinking? Your sick."

"What are you thinking? You're already drunk enough." I cross my arms over my chest and turn away because I don't wanna look at him. "I'm not going to stand there and watch you become something I know your not."

"Why should I apologize for the monster I've become? No one ever apologized for making me this way."

I walk away but he grabs my wrist to stop me. "Stop I didn't-"

I look into his eyes that are more dilated and a light shade of pink right now.

Before I say anything Gavin's first collides into the wall and breaks it through.

"Do you feel better now?" I glare at him and find my way outside. I stumble because these heels are hurting my ankles and the ground is wet outside so I can't take them off. I curse under my breath before I feel someone's arms wrap around me to keep me from falling.

"I'm sorry."

It pangs me to hear Gavin's voice. Why couldn't my heart fall for someone who was a lot less complicated than this? This was hard for the both of us.

"Whatever." I say annoyed.

We finally reach his car and I open the passenger side door and sit inside. I realize we can't go anywhere because Gavin's still intoxicated and I doubt he'd ever let me drive this car.

"I'm trying to... change." Gavin leans into the car and looks at me as I take off my shoes. "I'm sorry, really."

"That doesn't mean I'll let you act like a dick or get aggressive in front of everyone." I sigh. "I don't want you to change, no one should change who they are for someone, what's been bothering you?"

"I don't know, I'm trying to make this work out somehow but I know I'll end up fucking up either way."

"Why do think that?"

Gavin shrugs in reply. "Because I don't deserve you."

I sit back in my seat and tear my eyes away from him. I know he's drunk and he's probably willing to say anything at this point to make me feel better. But it almost sounds like he meant it at least that's what my hearts telling me.

"Do you want to leave?" He asks, I turn back to look at him and shake my head. His expression changes and he looks confused now. This party wasn't as awful as I imagined, besides we have to wait here until Gavin sobers up. "I can take you to Beckham's room so you can stay with Peyton?"

"I have a feeling the rooms occupied." I chuckle. "I'll stay here, you can go enjoy the party."

"I'm not leaving you out here by yourself." Gavin closes the door and I watch as he walks around and opens the door on the drivers side before leaving to take something out from his trunk. I curiously see him come back holding a blanket. "Get in the back."

I listen and crawl over the seat. I remember hiding back here the day Peter slapped me in the face.

I wait for Gavin who's losing his balance as he gets in the back with me. The space suddenly gets a lot smaller. I'm not usually so upfront but I can't help myself when I'm around him so lean into him and put my lips against his. I get on top of him and I don't mean to rock my hips but my body just sorta starts doing it.

I lose my breath fairly quickly which sucks because I have to pull away. This cancer couldn't let me make out with my boyfriend for one second without getting exhausted?

"Are you okay?" Gavin whispers to me. I'm breathing really hard so I nod my head and rest it against his chest. I suddenly feel Gavin laying me down onto the seat and he watches me with hungry eyes as I lift the sweatshirt over my head.

"Are you going to help me out?" I tease him and he laughs before he unzips the bodysuit and pulls it off my shoulders. I'm left in nothing but the black bra underneath. I'm not even drunk or buzzed but I still feel completely intoxicated by him.

Gavin's head lowers between my thighs and a smirk grows on his lips. I close my eyes and hang my head back as I feel the same sensation growing in my stomach.

What was he doing to me?

If anyone was changing, it was me. But it wasn't the type of change that's bad for people it's the good change. The type of change you wait for.

I dig my hands into his hair and I try to hold back the moans threatening to escape my lips. Was this even real? What if I've been in a coma all this time and my minds creating some fantasy world with Gavin?

I'm really breathless once it's all over. He pulls the body suit up my hips and then puts the blanket from before over me. "I've been waiting to rip that off of you all night." He says biting his lip at me. "You taste just as sweet as you look."

I feel my cheeks flush red so I'm glad when Gavin gets out of the car he doesn't see me blushing. I sit up from the seat and put my body suit back on and the sweatshirt. I climb back over the front seat and put my shoes on.

"Are we going back into the party?" I ask Gavin as I get out of his car.

"No." He walks over to me and opens up his car door again and ushers me inside.

"What? What's wrong?" I ask.

"You can't go in there." He answers. "They'll know we did something and I don't want to punch anyone tonight who says something stupid."

"How will they know is it really that obvious?" I chuckle but by the look on Gavin's face, he wasn't joking.

"Your cheeks are still red, your lips are swollen and your eyes look a lot brighter than before." Gavin says. "It's kinda obvious."

I bend down to look in his rear view mirror, I've seen so many people come out of rooms looking like this at parties, it really was obvious and not until now am I experiencing it myself.

"You did this to me." I chuckle softly and playfully hit his chest. He doesn't stumble back so he must finally be sobering up.

"How could I resist with you looking like that tonight?" He pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me. "That was the first time I ever did something in my car with somebody."

"So I really am special." I laugh and I look up at him. "Can we go, are you sober enough to drive?"

Gavin nods his head and we both turn around and get into his car. I close my eyes and feel myself falling asleep once we get on the road.

"We're here." Gavin's voice wakes me up and I look at him with sleep eyes. "Do you want to stay the night at my house?"

I nod my head when I remember Gavin gave me back the hidden key outside. No way was I gonna let my mom see me dressed like this.

I step out and walk up to Gavin's front door, when he opens the door he picks me up in his arms and carries me inside.

"Shit." He says as he kicks something with his feet. I hold back my laughter so I don't wake up Sarah but once we enter the main part of the house a light turns on.

"Gavin?"

Gavin puts me back on my feet and I pull down the sweatshirt so she doesn't see anything.

"It's late what are you two doing?"

"I was locked out of my house again and I didn't want to wake my mom, is it okay if I stay here for the night?" I ask her.

Sarah nods her head. "Yes as long as Gavin sleeps on the couch."

"What-"

I nudge Gavin before he starts arguing with her.

"I'll make sure he does." I answer.

Sarah smiles at me and she heads upstairs.

"The couch really?" Gavin groans and continues to follow me upstairs.

"Don't be such a baby." I tease and turn into his room. "Can I borrow something else to wear?" I add and I start to take off the hoodie once he closes the door. This bodysuit wasn't as comfortable as I thought it'd be.

"Just sleep naked."

"I'm not sleeping naked." I roll my eyes.

Gavin looks through his drawers and pulls out a t shirt and a pair of sweatpants. I turn around and take the bodysuit off and I quickly pull the sweats up because I can feel Gavin's gaze burning holes through me. I then grab the shirt and put that on as well. I roll the sweats pants so they can fit me properly but they are still very big on me.

I do feel a lot more comfortable now I'm eager to fall asleep.

"She doesn't really expect me to sleep down there does she?" Gavin laughs and starts undressing for bed.

"Your going to get us both in trouble." I say before I get under the blankets.

Gavin walks over to the bed and crawls up beside me. "Get used to it, now go to sleep."

I stick my tongue out at him and he laughs.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

My eyes slowly close and only moments before I'm completely asleep do I hear Gavin whisper he loves me.