My eyes flutter open and I feel something heavy resting on top of me. I look down to see Gavin's head on my stomach and his arms are snaked around my torso. His hair is in front of his face and without hesitation I gently brush it away.

What was he doing to me?

I don't want to wake him so I stay with him like this until he wakes up. I notice I'm also still wearing his sweatshirt. I somehow wish it could be like this all the time but Gavin clearly stated he didn't want to be in a relationship. I feel a vibration coming from underneath my pillow so I reach my arms underneath it and grab the phone.

I notice it's Gavin's phone and Georgia's name is flashing on the screen. I hang it up when Gavin slightly moves. Being the nosy person I am I see there are a few texts from Beckham and Carver. The one from Carver reads "where did you go" And the one from Beckham says "take Carver home I left with Peyton".

A new message pops up and it's from Georgia.

"Meet me we need to talk."

I hide the phone back under the pillow when Gavin moves again and looks up at me. "Good morning."

I smile at him. "Good morning."

Gavin notices he's holding me and quickly lifts himself off before he leaves the bed and walks across the room. He grabs a shirt from his closet and pulls it over his head.

I sit up and run my fingers through my tangled hair. What will my mom think? Do I even tell her I stayed at Gavin's?

"I must have fell asleep you aren't mad right?" Gavin asks referring to him sleeping in the bed with me.

"No it's okay." I tell him. I realize this is the second time sleeping with him that I don't continuously wake up during the night from my body aches like I usual do. "How did you um, sleep?"

"Good." He admits. "I don't usually let girls sleep in my bed."

So he really kicks out all of the girls I see come over?

Gavin searches for his phone under the pillow until he finds it and pulls it out. I see his eyes scan over the messages and have a feeling he'll want to kick me out because Georgia needs to talk to him.

"Are you doing anything today?"

I give him a look of surprise. I wanted to tell him no but then I remember I have another Sunday appointment today. I wish he could come to comfort me in that horrible place.

"Yes." I reply I finally get out of bed and feel his eyes watch me with every move. "Maybe we can do something another time?"

I can tell Gavin wants to tell me something that will probably ruin the rest of my day but he decides against it. "Oh.. I guess."

I nod my head. "I should get going thank you again for..." What am I even thanking him for again he's the reason I went to that horrible party and the reason I was so sad I got drunk, he humiliated me and I came home with him?

I was so stupid, maybe Georgia and I weren't so different after all.

I open his door and walk out, his mother startles me as she I find her standing in the kitchen looking over a magazine. "Alex? I didn't know we had a visitor." She nervously laughs and her eyes look at Gavin giving him a questioning look.

"I'm sorry I was just leaving." I tell her.

"It's not a problem I made breakfast." She tells me and her face lights up at the thought.

"No she's leaving." Gavin tells her for me.

I'm annoyed he's doing that again, making my decisions.

"I'd love to stay for breakfast." I give her a warm smile looking back at Gavin who's rolling his eyes at me.

Sarah turns around and grabs two plates from a cabinet she serves us eggs from the stove and some bacon. "Are you guys-"

"She was locked out of her house last night." Gavin tells his mother I see him glare at her as she puts the two plates of food in front of us.

I nod my head. "To my surprise Gavin was kind enough to let me stay here." I laugh which makes Sarah laugh with me.

"Next time I'll let you sleep outside." Gavin tells me and I smack his arm. We both laugh and look at Sarah who seems happy we're getting along like this.

"Does that mean you two went to the party?" Sarah asks as I continue to eat my food. She puts a glass of orange juice in front of me and I use it to wash down the food.

"We didn't go together." I tell her.

"I found Alex at the party." Gavin continues. "She needed a ride home."

"I'm just glad you came home for once." Sarah replies, I see Gavin's body tense up beside me. "Enjoy your breakfast."

I stare down at my empty plate so I pick it up and put it into the sink. I realize I should give Gavin back his sweatshirt now. "Your sweatshirt." I say before I pull it over my head.

"Keep it." Gavin says walking over to me. "Looks better on you anyway."

I can't hold back the smile that's forming on my lips.

"Bye Gavin."

I stand in the doorway and watch Alex as she makes her way back to her house. I can't help but stare at her ass in the process wishing she'd have stayed a little longer. There was so much I wanted to say and do to her last night.

I was glad I caught her looking at my notebook before she could actually open it. I knew she wanted to ask me about it as much as I wanted to ask her about what happened on the way home.

Even drunk no one can accidentally say they have cancer. There's a part that wishes she didn't actually mean to say cancer but I knew she did.

I sit at my desk and pull open my laptop.

"We have a little germ phobia do you mind?"

My eyes scan the screen looking over every article that reads the symptoms of cancer.

"I'm homeschooled."

It couldn't be true?

"Can I ask why you need a babysitter again?"

"My moms overprotective."

The memories flood my brain with all of the signs I should have looked at closer before.

"I can't leave my house."

"Don't tell me this is a junkie twitch?"

"I told you I had too much caffeine today."

I lean on my desk putting my head in my hands. It was true, I've been such a dick to her all this time while she's been sick, I pulled her out of that house when she should have stayed home. I told everyone at school she was and obnoxious spoiled brat I babysat? I'm glad I didn't hurt her as badly as I almost meant to.

The guilt washes over me.

It explains why she said she wasn't ready. All I want to do now was tell her how I really feel, I keep pushing her away and then I tell her I want her the next because I've never felt this way before.

She made me vulnerable and although she thinks I make all theses decisions for her she has no clue how badly I'm wrapped around her finger too. I slam the laptop shut and put on a pair of shoes.

"Did you know?" I ask my mom finding her in the living room. She sips her wine and looks up at me.

"What?"

"Don't fucking play dumb, Alex has cancer doesn't she?" I say clenching my fists I restrain myself from punching something.

"Where did you hear that from?" Her expression turns worried and she sits up from her seat.

"Alex was drunk last night and it slipped." I tell her. "Is it true or not?"

"Gavin we didn't tell you because Alex asked us not to."

"So she's been lying to me? Why would I care if she has cancer?" I furrow my eyebrows together.

"Don't act like you aren't very judgmental already Gavin Alex didn't want you worrying." She explains.

"Well fuck all of you." I shout. "How is it even possible to hate someone so fucking much and love them at the same time?"

My mom gasps. "You love her?" She smiles at me stepping closer so I step back.

"No, that's not what I meant." I say trying to come up with some excuse. "I don't love anyone."

I storm out of the house and I see Alex's driveway is empty and I'm hoping her mom is gone and Alex was inside there. I bang on the door multiple times for and answer but no one ever comes to the door.

I really wanted to break something now.

My phone starts buzzing in my pocket and I pull it out hoping it's her. It isn't.

"What?" I say.

"Someone's grumpy where are you?" Georgia says through the phone.

"What do you want?" I sneer.

"I told you we need to talk I'm coming to pick you up."

She ends the call.

I stand on the porch wishing I still had Alex's number saved in my phone. By the time I get to my porch I hear the sound of loud music playing behind me and a honk.

"Get in!" Georgia shouts rolling the window down. I sigh and enter her car. It smells like she spilt a bottle of perfume inside here and I want to gag.

"You're still wearing the same clothes from last night?" She says looking at me, I notice she leans forward a bit and squeezes her breast together. "I've never seen your hair so curly before, it looks sexy."

I punch the dashboard in front of me it causes a huge dent and my scabbed knuckles open up again. I remember the time Alex told me she liked my hair in its natural state, I didn't take it into consideration all that much but I stopped styling it like I used to because of her.

"Are you okay?" She says but her voice doesn't sound like she's actually worried about me. "Maybe this will help." She purrs jumping over the console and onto my lap her fingers run through my hair and she starts kissing my neck.

I don't want to push her away because I wanted to try and forget about Alex. But she hasn't left my mind for weeks now I feel her stay might be permanent.

"We can go to my house?" She whispers in my ear.

"I thought you wanted to talk?" I ask her.

"We can wait." Georgia says. She leans in to kiss me but I hold her shoulders back.

"I don't want to keep doing this anymore." I say. "I'm done fucking around with you."

She glares at me before opening the car door she falls out. "Fuck you Gavin, is this because of that bitch Alex?"

"The only bitch here is you, you never cared about me anyway so what's the big deal?" I tell her, it's probably the fact that I have a big- not the time.

"I never cared about you?" She stomps her foot. "Every time you called me I showed up, I cheer for you at your football games, what has she ever done for you."

"You did that all for yourself, you think being with me is some kind of trophy." I admit. She stays quiet. I know she can't deny it because it was true.

The rest of are conversation is loud and I regret coming out here in the first place because it doesn't end there and I end up saying a lot more fucked up shit to her.

I just wanted Alex.