I shut the door behind me before walking over to my desk where I pulled the chair out and took my seat. I grabbed my notebook and a pencil until I finally opened it up. Drawing took my mind off of things, after I was diagnosed my doctors asked me to draw a few pictures to make sure I could at least make a circle and a few other shapes.

After that, drawing became a hobby and I got better. I looked at the first few pages which were mostly things around my room and then once you got further in they were the drawings I now regret, Gavin.

"Alex?" I turned around to see Peyton walking into my room. Let me guess Gavin let her in too. "What are you doing up here? Gavin's downstairs may I remind you?"

"I don't care, he can throw his stupid party I'm staying up here, away from him." I said. "My house is my safe space Peyton. He's ruined it."

"I'll try talk to him." She says. "Maybe I can reason with the guy?"

I turn back to my notebook as she leaves. I take a look at my phone to see ten minutes have already passed. Talking? I get up and head downstairs when I turn the corner there they were eating each other's faces in my kitchen.

Peyton quickly pushes him away as she sees me and begins to wipe her lips with the back of her hand. "Alex-."

"Never eating in here again." I said under my breath. "Did you at least talk to him?"

"Well I was about to."

"Talk to me about what?" Gavin asks. "A threesome?" He answers suggestively.

"No you idiot." I said glaring over to him. "You can't have this party."

Gavin starts walking over to me with that same smirk on his face. "The parties already arrived Cupcake." He adds as we suddenly hear cars pull up. "Loosen up or this will all be for nothing."

I walk over to Peyton while Gavin starts opening the door for these strangers. In a matter of time my house is soon flooded with people and I'm just trying to get anywhere away from the chaos. "Alex." Someone pulls me beside them wrapping their arm around my neck and it's very uncomfortable. "This is Alex my neighbor, she threw this party for me."

"No I didn't." I hiss at Gavin removing his arm.

"Hey Alex." One of the boys say. "I'm Carver, that's Beckham." To be honest I knew exactly I who these people were. Gavin's friends the rest of his popular crew. Troublemakers of the century. But where was Zach?

"I'm trying to help her make friends tonight. She's kind of a loner." Gavin laughs taking a drink from his cup. The guys start laughing to, laughing at me.

I turn around before getting lost in the crowd. The music was so loud now I'm afraid the rest of are quiet neighborhood would hear and call the police.

"Excuse me." I asked someone who was standing in my way. I gently tapped their shoulder and they turned around a smile spreading across their face.

"Hey, Alex right?"

Shit shit shit. It was Zach again why did we always have to meet in these types of situations? In a crowd full of sweaty testosterone filled teenagers.

"I'm Zach by the way I don't think I really got to introduce myself last time." He shouts over the music moving his head closer to my ear.

"Alex, but you already knew that." I said mentally slapping myself.

"Do you know who's party this is?" He asks me.

"Actually your friend Gavin invited everyone to my house and now here we are." I sighed at the thought. I was getting nervous people would start touching things and throwing up in the downstairs bathroom. Even worse in the kitchen sink or my living room floor.

"This is your party? Damn?" Zach says. "Pretty cool."

"I better go find my friend she's around here somewhere." I said my eyes searching for Peyton. She had a tendency to get very drunk and she'd usually come to my house crying and vomiting after a party.

"Nice talking to you Alex."

I give him a warm smile until I walk away.

"No!" I said as someone started crawling on top of my dining room table to dance. "Get down!" The girl looks at my curiously laughing as she grabs my hand I reach out to her. I grab it before she pulls me onto the table with her. "Your cute." She giggles.

"We both need to get down." I said.

"Yes girl! That's the party talk I like to hear!" She shouts jumping on the table to the beat of the music.

"That's not what I meant." I said.

"Dance with me." She says grabbing both of my hands, she starts swinging them around everywhere like a maniac.

"Alex?" I look down to see Gavin staring up at me in amusement. "Told you you'd have fun."

"Help me." I said as the girl started twerking. He rolls his eyes before he reaches his hand out to me. "Thanks." I mutter as he helps me down.

"Why don't you have a drink?" He says gesturing to the table of alcohol. Where did that come from?

"When is this party going to end?" I said groaning.

"The party ends when it wants to end." Gavin says. "Now are you going to drink or not?"

I sigh staring back at the drinks. "Fine, just one."

Gavin grins grabbing me a cup and filling it halfway to the top. "Here, drink up."

I take it in my hands smelling it I almost gag. "What is this!"

"Well your not supposed to smell it Cupcake." He laughs at me. "You've never been to a party have you?"

"I have actually." I say. "Once."

"Your little cousins birthday parties don't count." Gavin says looking back at his friends and then back at me. "Drink." Does he love to aggravate me because it's really working.

I take the cup to my lips feeling it pour down my throat. It burned just like the last time, how could anyone get used to this? It seemed like Gavin didn't have any type of reaction from the poison as he took the rest of the drink from my hands and drank it down. "Was that so bad?"

I nodded. "Terrible actually."

He blinks at me like he's bored. "Carver." He calls over. I watch Carver stumble around as he meets up with us a huge grin on his face, a drunk grin to be exact. "Tell Alex here that she should be having fun. Like you right?"

Carver nods with his eyes closed as he turns his head at me. "Yes you should totally have fun!" Carver said. "I'll get you a drink!"

Before I can even reply he's run off again. A few seconds later he's holding a cup and hands it over to me. I stare down cautiously at it. "Ever heard of don't take things from strangers." I told Gavin.

"You took a drink from me?" He replies.

He had a point there but that was different I actually saw the bottle in hand. What if Carver just took this from a random person who so happened to like bad things inside their liquor?

"You don't want it?" Carver asks his face turns sad like he's about to cry. He's drunk Alex, he's not really going to cry is he? "Why don't you want it?" His lip starts to quiver.

I look at Gavin who's laughing again. He's been laughing like my whole life was a joke? Not today. I drank the cup, all of it. I almost choked once I put it down but I did it. "Damn Alex, impressive." Gavin taunts.

"Shut it." I say wiping my mouth. I turned my heel before the walls start to turn and the floor becomes a literal black hole. I drunkingly make my way around the house like a complete idiot. Dancing with all these random people, taking multiple shots as Gavin and his friends cheered along. So the bad boys turned me bad? Great?

"Wanna play?" Zach says taking my hand. I look at the table with multiple cups on it.

Beer pong.

"Sure." I say happily grabbing a ball from the table. Across us were Gavin and Carver getting ready to lose.

I tossed the first ball into a cup and the house seemed to cheer at this. I drank a cup as Carver made one in and clearly I was way passed sober by now.

"Don't tell me somebody spilled a drink on you again?" I asked Gavin who was standing their with a girl in his arms, shirtless. He gives me a confused look. "You were there?"

I nodded. "I-I was the girl in red." I suddenly stumble forward and he catches me letting go of the other girl in his arms. "Fun, I'm having it right?" I ask him.

I suddenly hear the song Youngblood by 5SOS begin to play and it instantly takes me to the crowd of dancing people.

"I've been looking for you everywhere." Peyton tells me. "Your drunk?"

I laughed. "No of course I'm not."

"Maybe I should take you upstairs?" She says wrapping her arms around mine but I slip away.

"No I'm having fun at least Gavin said I was."

"Gavin doesn't know your sick." She says her tone is more aggressive than soft so this must be serious. "C'mon."

"Peyton." Gavin says stepping between us. "Are you the one keeping her from having fun? Let her be."

"Why don't you just let me take care of my friend?" She snaps. "You should tell everyone to start leaving, your parents should be home soon."

"Everyone! The cops are coming!" Someone starts shouting which causes everyone to start running rapidly to find a way out. Pretty soon the house is empty leaving behind every last cup and bottle.

I hear footsteps approaching the front door and soon enters a face I didn't want to see at the moment. "What happened here?"

I stand beside Gavin and we both face are mothers which look equally as horrified at the sight. "Alex."

"I-I'm sorry." I said.

"It was my fault." Gavin steps forward. He was shirtless so of course I was looking at the way his back muscles moved with him. "Don't blame her."

My mom sighs.

"Let's go Gavin." Sarah says walking outside.

Gavin glances back at me and winks before he walks out.

"You should head home Peyton." My mom says staring around the house.

"Mom-"

"Go to bed." She cuts me off. "Just, go to bed."

I crawled up the stairs and into my bedroom which hadn't seemed to be touched by the strangers tonight. I pulled my jacket off and crawled under my blankets looking down at the bruise on my wrist. I was reminded once again that I wasn't alright and trying to be normal would only get me hurt.