don juan- a captivating man known as a great lover or seducer of women

definition from: Merriam-Webster dictionary

What happens when Eddy Chen is labeled a Don Juan, by his best friend and the love of his life, Brett Yang? What does he do? Does he confess or does he continue using other people to forget the older man in front of him?

Eddy's POV

"Eddy, you've gotta stop breaking hearts left and right. You know, some of them even call me because they're terribly heartbroken. Are that good of a lover, bro?"

Wouldn't you like to find out, Brett?

"I don't know, I just can't seem to settle down with one of them. I feel like they all lack something I'm looking for."

They're not you, Brett. You're what I'm looking for.

"Always the Don Juan, aren't ya?" Brett asked rhetorically. Laughing at this own comment, probably thinking about how smart he was for labeling me that.

"Hey, not my fault that they love me too much." I laughed sarcastically.

I want you to love me too much, Brett.

"Anyway, Brett. What about you? Why aren't you dating anyone, then?"

"Nobody really likes me, and besides, I don't have time. I always practice, anyway. My potential lover probably will get jealous of Practicia." Brett said, gesturing to the violin in his case.

I will never get jealous of your practice time, passion is passion, after all. I understand.

"Okay, Mr. Practice." I chuckled as I look at the text from my phone.

Another date to forget Brett. Why can't anyone come as close to him? Why can't I just forget him?

I went to the bathroom and ran my hand through my hair. I sprayed a good amount of cologne on me. I straightened my clothes and stared at myself. Good enough. Even if I wasn't planning on settling down with any of them, I just want to give out a good impression.

It's not like I want to break hearts. It's just, I want to temporarily forget that mine is breaking because of the older man next room. I sigh and closed my eyes. I'll try my best again.

I left the bathroom and returned to Brett, who was now laughing at a video on his phone. To the gods out there, please refrain me from kissing this man until his lips are bruised. He saw me and smiled. I can't allow myself to be this weak when this man couldn't ever be mine.

"Going out on a date for the second time this week, I see." He smirked as he looked up at me. God, help me now. Please, universe, give me the strength to get going.

"Yeah, this girl's great. We've talked a lot over the past three days."

"Cool." He was looking at me with an unreadable expression in his eyes. "Call me afterwards. Whether it went great or horribly wrong."

His eyes became glassy but I never broke our eye contact.

As if looking at his eyes will give me an answer.

"I will. Don't worry."

I know I won't.

He grabbed his violin case and his phone.

"You aren't staying tonight?" I asked automatically.

"No. I mean, you might get some tonight, bro. I don't want to be a cockblock." He said, looking at the ground.

He's walking towards my door and he looked back at me. His eyes are still glassy.

"I'll see you soon, man. Enjoy your date!" He said in a cheery voice that isn't fake, but isn't genuine either.

"Thank you."

With that, he left out that door. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but maybe, just maybe there's a tinge of pain in Brett's voice.

- - - - - - - - - -

The date went better than expected. In fact, were even going back to my place. She understood what I felt because she felt the same to. She even agreed that we moan the name of who we truly love. I mean, I could probably keep her around. She gets it. I'll just let her go when I could tell Brett or when she could tell the person she loves.

Eli kissed my neck and I close my eyes. Imagining him. Imagining Brett. Just Brett, in general. I can't find the time to feel the guilt but it'll probably hit me harder in the morning.

The rest of the night was a blur of a stranger's body but the taste of Brett's name spilling from my lips, tasting sweeter and sweeter the closer I reach my limit.

- - - - - - - - - -

The phone call never came.

Not that I forgot. I just intentionally didn't call.

I never knew it felt good to wake up holding someone tight. Skin to skin, even if the body is the curvature of a woman's. I hear the doorbell and I removed her arms around me. I looked for sweatpants and wore it. I mean, I know it's Brett and it's ten in the morning. I forgot that we were supposed to film today.

"Sorry Brett, I forgot we were gonna film today." I said, scratching the back of my neck.

"It's okay... I mean, I could just come back tomorrow if you're, um, busy."

"No, it's fine. Just wait here. I'll just get ready. I'll be back in ten minutes."

He sat down on the couch and pulled his phone out. Even if I turned my back, I could still feel his state burning at my neck and my chest. I ignored it. He probably just felt awkward.

I took my high-collared black shirt and fixed my hair. I went out immediately and saw Brett on his phone. I feel sorry for letting him see me like this but it'll be fine. I think he'll understand.

I sat down on the couch next to him but leaving a small space. I laid my head back and closed my eyes. My heart was beating fast as memories of last night reappeared in my mind. His name past my lips but the body of a woman on top of me.

I knew the guilt was coming. I just didn't know that it would hit harder once I saw his face.

"Had a great night, I suppose." Brett said awkwardly, trying to fill in the silence.

"You could say that, I guess." I said, still not opening my eyes.

"Eddy? I borrowed your shirt, I hope you don't- oh, hey." Eli said looking at Brett.

I immediately sat up and saw Eli looking at Brett innocently.

"Eli, this is Brett, my best friend. Brett, this is Eli." I said, point at the people respectively.

"Hi, Eli." Brett smiled widely at her. Eli smiled back.

"Hi." She said sweetly.

Brett was looking at her in awe, probably marveling at her beauty. It seemed unusual that he was looking at her neck that was littered with hickeys.

"Do you guys want coffee?" she asked.

"Yes, please. You, Brett?"

"It's okay. I had coffee before going here." He smiled at her again.

I've never seen Brett look smaller than before. I just want to scoop him up and cuddle him until he can't breathe. He pulled his knees to his chest and continued using his phone.

"Dude, she's so beautiful and kind. You're really lucky..." He said, his tone genuine but there was something off. I could feel it.

"I know. You better not be thinking of keeping her to yourself." I joked as I chuckled lightly.

He stayed quiet as he pulled the hood of his pink sacrilegious hoodie to his head. Eli entered the living room with coffee. She did it exactly like how I wanted it. Two sugars with a splash of milk. I wonder if Brett remembers that.

She sat in the middle of me and Brett and she kissed my cheek. Brett decided to not look at us.

"So, this is the amazing Brett Yang you've been talking about last night?" She asked and smirked.

"Yeah, the one and only." I glared back at her.

"I've heard so many great things about you." She said, looking at him.

"I'm sure I'm not that great, but thank you." Brett smiled at her again and looked at our interlocked hands.

"Shame, I don't like long-term relationships. You seem like you're going to be a good husband." She smiled at him.

"Oh, trust me, I'm far from marrying at this stage." He laughed softly. He's still in the same position. I just want to cuddle him. Tell him he's beautiful and he shouldn't be insecure. Press soft kisses on his lips and down his jaw to his neck. I just want to hold him tight and tell him how much I love him. Sadly, I might never get the chance.

"I'll just set up the lights and the camera. Just go to the room when you're ready." He said, looking at the ground.

"Yeah, I'll be there when I finish my coffee."

When he left, Eli just smiled.

"Ah, your best friend loves you too." she said.

"How can you tell?" I asked, skeptical about what she's implying.

"He can't look at you directly and he did his best to avoid being in the same room with us longer than necessary. His eyes were also a bit watery when he jokes about being far from marriage. You should tell him tonight." she suggested.

"What if he was just being kind? I mean, he's always like that if this kind of- oh." I said, realization hitting me hard.

"Yup. I think my job here is done." she said, giggling softly.

"Eli?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks." I said as I hugged her.

"You're welcome and I better be at the front seat of your wedding."

"You'll be the first to get an invitation, trust me."

"Now, go to that practice room of yours and tell him. I'll see my way out." she said, taking the now empty cups and putting them on the kitchen sink.

I quietly walked to the practice room with my heart pumping out of my chest. I clutched my chest as I opened the door. I think my heart broke at the sight of Brett.

He was sitting in his designated chair, knees to his chest like a while ago. Hood still on his head, his glasses and phone is on the table and his head is buried on his knees. Brett's quietly sobbing. How can I ever mend this, knowing I'm the one who caused it all?

"Brett?" I said softly.

"Oh, hey, I'm sorry. I'm just really tired." He said quickly wiping his tears away with they sleeves of this hoodie. "Let me just, wash my face and let's film."

He was going to walk out of the door but I stopped him.

"We don't have to film today if you're tired, Brett. Let's just talk."

"What's there to talk about, anyway?" he said sadly, avoiding my eyes.

"I actually have to tell you something."

"It's okay... I know, you don't have to tell me. I know why you didn't call. I'm really really happy for you, Eddy. She's really fucking beautiful and she's like an angel. I'm glad. " He said, bravely looking up at me and smiling.

"It's not that, Brett. You got the wrong idea. We're not together." I said still looking at him, he looked around the room but settled his eyes on his red socks.

"You're not?"

"No. It's just, it's a long story, but can I just tell you a secret?" I said, caressing his jaw with my index finger and lifted his chin up so he could look at me.

"Yeah."

"When she was touching me, I was moaning your name. I was thinking of you the entire time. I felt guilt this morning when I saw your face because it seems sick that I thought of you like that. Especially when I knew you couldn't love me back." I said, still staring him down.

"I always knew you didn't love me back. I mean, you're always out with either men or women. You were so out of my league and I just told myself that I'll be okay being the best friend as long as I have you. Even though the years have been painful..." He said tears flowing out of his eyes.

"Since when, Brett?"

"Since I was eighteen and you were seventeen."

It was now my turn to tear up.

"You've loved me for that long? How did you keep that from me all these years? Fuck, that's like, ten years ago."

"I, I don't know. It's just, being your best friend was better than having nothing at all. I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship because I was selfish enough to fall in love with you."

"Brett?"

"What?"

"You're an idiot, you know that right? All those years, I was always begging with my eyes for you to kiss me or hold my hand." I said, laughing even if my tears were falling down.

What happened next was just unexpected.

Brett kissed me softly. The kiss tasting like tears and I could help but melt into it. He kept the pace slow, but he licked my bottom lip, asking for entrance.

I let him explore my mouth as I held him tighter and tighter. Years of pent up passion is now being released and I can't help but feel good when Brett pressed me against the wall. We pulled away from the kiss but we're still in each other's arms. Brett had the courage to break the silence

"I love you so fucking much, Eddy Chen. You don't even know how much I'd want to give the whole, entire world."

I hugged him tighter, if it was possible at this state.

"I don't love you, Brett Yang."

He looked up at me.

"You don't?" He said, eyes watering again.

"I live for you."