After the girls in school stopped messing with me. Life was pretty great. I had my friends and my boyfriend.

The only thing that was off was Shawn and I's... intimacy...so to speak.

I mean, I wanted to be intimate with him, but it was my first time. And I couldn't help but think that with the amount of girls he has been with, that I might not measure up to his standards.

I don't know what's going on with me. I'm not normally an insecure person. But for some reason these thoughts just keep occupying my head.

And today Shawn was over at my house and the house was empty, so it was worse. I was sitting on the floor doing science and Shawn was sitting on the couch behind me. We were supposed to be doing homework, but this is Shawn we were talking about.

"Ughhhhh!" He groaned. "Why do we have homework anyways?"

"Because it helps us remember stuff that we learned in class."

"Why can we do that in class? When i'm home, I want to do whatever I want. Not solve equations and learn about chemicals."

I finished up the one of the worksheets I had. "Okay, well i'm done with chemistry. And I think we can take a break." I put my pencil down. "So what do you wanna—" I was cut off by the feeling of his lips on my neck. "Shawn..." I whispered.

"Yes?" He asked playfully.

"Shawn." I said louder. "C'mon I said break not make out session."

He backed away and sat down next to me.

"Okay. I'll stop. But you need to talk to me."

"About?"

"About why every time we get close to...being close...you get super nervous." My heart sped up a bit. "Listen, I don't mind if you aren't ready yet. I don't mind if you want to wait. But, I want you to be able to talk to me about anything." He held both of my hands gently and looked me directly in the eyes. "You can trust me Cristina. You know that."

"I do. And I do trust you." I looked down and avoided his gaze. "I don't know, I just think it's silly."

"Well whatever it is, I won't think it's silly. I promise."

I let go of his hands and I hugged my knees as I brought them to my chin. "It's just...you've been with so many girls...and that normally doesn't bother me. But, i'm just scared that if we get intimate that I won't measure up to your...previous experiences."

He pauses. "Cristina, I've never been with a girl like that before."

I looked at him. I was surprised.

"You haven't?"

"No. It never felt right kissing other girls. Let alone going any farther than that." He sighed. "It felt...numb when I kissed them. I didn't feel anything with them. I couldn't. They weren't you. With you...I feel everything."

"So this would be your first time too?"

"Too? You and Derek never...?"

"No."

"Oh thank God." He exhaled. "But to answer you're question, yes. This would be my first."

I put my knees down and looked back up at him. And I thought for a moment.

"Fuck it." I said as I leaned over.

I roughly kissed him as I placed my hands on his face. He kissed back and his hands found their way to my lower back.

After about 2 minutes, he picked me up and carried me to my room. We went upstairs laughing and smiling. We laid down on my bed and he began kissing me again.

But he pulled away. "Are you sure you wanna do this?"

I smiled.

"I'm positive."