"Do you like this outfit?" Kenma asks as he holds up his switch to you.

You glance at the outfit he set for his character in Animal crossing and you giggle.

"It's perfect."

He dressed up his character in a tux and you clothed your character with a white poofy wedding dress.

"Ha, ready to get married virtually" Kenma asks with a smirk. You laugh and nod at his gesture as you both pressed a bunch of buttons on the controllers and 'for he's a jolly good fellow' is ringing in the background.

We were on the last day of training camp and throughout the whole week, Kenma noticed your jittery tendencies so he decided to play video games with you to distract you. Even if it was just for a bit, you were grateful for him being there. Kenma wasn't an affectionate person but when he did care for others, he cared deeply.

"How's your sister by the way?" Kenma blindly asked but stops pressing the 'x' button when he notice you flinch.

"She's doing okay." you say in a tiny voice and lower your gaming console to look at his face.

"Are you sure she's okay?" Kenma queried as he continued to pressed more buttons.

"Well, like... she's not the same as before the accident. She's just barely grasping onto memories of herself or what she loves."

"And what does she love?"

I pray Suga.

"Hm. The doctor said to surround her with familiar things, but I don't know what's going to trigger back any memories."

"What about volleyball?" he asks as he starts driving a tiny car with you in the game.

"I don't know... last time we left off. Volleyball was a sore spot for her."

You recall the accident and how your dad kept comparing you and Kiyoko. It made more sense now that Kiyoko was your half sister, but inheriting 'volleyball genes' sounds absurd.

"But you overcame it eventually didn't you?"

Kenma and you were driving away in the video game as the happily married couple over the sunset. It was just like a Disney Fairytale.

"Eventually, but that's because of-"

You stop yourself as you remember Suga telling you his goal when you first met. 'I want you to fall in love with volleyball again.'

Suga...

You stop playing for a second and close your eyes, trying to grasp onto your mixed feelings.

"Hey" Kenma places a hand on yours and you open your eyes. You didn't realize that your eyes watered thinking about Suga.

"We should go to sleep. It's getting late." Kenma murmurs as he shuts off his device

"Yeah... I'll just head to bed. I do have the breakfast shift with Toma tomorrow." you yawned trying to coverup your tears.

"Let me know if you need anything." Kenma offers awkwardly. He really was trying his best to comfort you and that thought itself made you smile.

"Thanks Kenma. Goodnight."

"Night."

~

I'm lying down on my sleeping bag, listening to music with Tsukishima's headphones that he surprisingly let me borrow. He didn't even let Yams borrow his headphones. I tap my fingers to the beat of the music until Toma interrupts me,

"Hey." She calls out, but I try to ignore her by increasing the volume

Toma scooches over while still in her sleeping bag and hovers over me. Irritated, I shift over to my side to avoid facing her. Even her face annoyed me. She suddenly takes my phone and pauses my music. I was in the middle of a song that Tsukki told me to listen to. He actually had good music taste, but I hated to admit it.

"What do you want? My God, leave me alone." I grumble as I sit up and stare directly at her innocent looking eyes.

"Do you know why I'm like this? Always bothering you?"

I take off the headphones and wrap them around my neck. Throughout the whole week she's always been on my toes and it was annoying as hell. But for once, her random question peeked my interest. Asking the obvious. It's like she wanted me to insult her.

"Because you're just that annoying." I smirked but her face remained solemn.

Was she serious? What did she expect me to say.

"I'm like this because I'm jealous of you." Toma murmured as her eyes glazed over.

"What?" I ask inquisitively.

Why would she possibly be jealous of me? She's actually really talented and her volleyball skills were insane. I mean, look at my fingers...

"I act goofy and silly all the time because I usually like to make people smile. It usually works but not in Tsukki's case..." Toma spoke sadly. Her posture relaxed as she lied down right by my mat.

I shift over and pat the spot beside me. She gladly scooches over and we sit on my sleeping bag.

I hate people getting into my personal space unless it was (F/N). But now I'm intrigued on what she has to say.

"Tsukki always had it hard... In Europe he didn't really get along with his classmates. Both of us were the only ones who were half Japanese so we ended being friends because everyone was scared to approach us. Ever since, all I wanted for Tsuki was a smile. A genuine smile "

She turns her head slightly towards me. The corners of her mouth slightly curl upwards and she continues her story,

"Tsukki didn't have any hobbies or any other interests. I would try to force him to join clubs with me but he always refused. Akiteru, his brother, was the one who introduced him to volleyball. He looked up to him so much and he eventually found something he loved to do"

His brother... I remember him mentioning him.

"We both moved here to Japan at the time and that's when Akiteru went to Karasuno. Kei always waited and begged his brother to watch him play but he said it would make him nervous. We snuck into one of his games and Kei was disappointed as ever. The fact that Akiteru lied to him that he was playing and part of the starting line up. It hurt him the most. I couldn't bear seeing him like that"

"Is that why you want him to smile?" I ask twiddling with the chord of his headphones.

Her eyes fall a bit and she eventually closes them.

"When he told me he was coming to boot camp I was beyond happy to hear he was back into volleyball. I thought he'd be the same nonchalant person I'm used to, but I saw him smiling and laughing. I thought, 'how is he doing that?' but then I realized it was because of you."

My eyes lay on Toma for a bit.

She genuinely wanted her childhood friend to smile. To find his purpose again. She wasn't annoying... she was just trying to cheer up Kei.

"I think he likes you... correction. I know he likes you." Toma says with a big smile.

"I think you like him too?" Toma added and I blush a crimson red. Leaning back on my arms, I let out a small laugh.

"I've always been denying it. I hate boys but for once Tsukki is the one boy I can't seem to hate." I murmur as I avoid Toma's gaze.

"So what are you going to do about it?" she asks all teasingly.

I didn't respond to her question but I knew what she wanted to hear. Toma is a good friend.

I would've been friends with her if she wasn't such a nuisance the whole week. But I get it now.

"H-how did you know that it was Bokuto. That he was, you know, 'the one'" I ask apprehensively and Toma's smile grew wider.

"Sometimes, you don't know until it hits you. When he asked me to date him I thought, 'as if!' He was so loud and obnoxious and I rejected him several times. I thought he was a total idiot to keep asking." her laugh was contagious as I start to chuckle with her.

"But he's my idiot." she gleamed at the thought of Bokuto made her cheeks red, but she continued smiling at the ceiling.

"He kept fight for me. Pursuing me even when I kept saying no, but once I got to know him more... he sweet and kindhearted. I stopped playing volleyball or even mentioning it when Kei fell out of it. I felt guilty for even mentioning it when I was with Kei."

"But you wanted it badly didn't you? Volleyball is your life, like how it's mine?" I ask completing her thoughts. She agrees with a slight nod.

"I remember what Bokuto said to me that made me know that I loved him. He said, 'you are like volleyball to me.' "

I snicker at her comment and say, "Serious? That's what made you fall in love with him?"

"Wait I'm not finished." she laughed, "We were on the verge of a breakup but what he said to me... I just couldn't let him go. He said, ' Without you I can't breathe. Without you, I can't be in love with something else to fulfil me. Without you, I can't imagine experiencing moments with someone else. Volleyball is my addiction and I'm hooked onto you, Toma.' It was so weird at first when he compared me to volleyball, but what he said, still gets to me till this day. We both loved volleyball so much that we couldn't live without it. Like how we can't live without each other..."

I let Toma's words sink in and I decide to lie down beside her.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Toma asked again but more serious this time.

"Ask him on a date." I murmur. She laughs and adds,

"And tell him you like him. I guess I do win after all don't I?"

"Damn you Mizuki." I hiss but snicker at her comment.

"Right back at you Mitsuki." she winks and I grab my phone to unplug the headphones.

I unpause your music and both of you lie there listening to Kei's music.

~

You were tired but you couldn't sleep. It was the middle of the night and it's been a week of sleepless nights and popping Nyqil pills. You sit up from your sleeping bag and take in your surroundings. The girls have fallen a sleep and you watch enviously as their chest rise and fall slowly. Restlessly, you get up from your sleeping bag and tip toe over Mika who was snoring loudly beside Toma, who also snored just as loud.

Well, damn. Just when I thought one Mika was enough.

You quietly exit the room and enter the hallway. You walk towards the window as your eyes were caught by the light of the moon. It illuminated your path as you shuffle your feet towards it. You watch the moon and take a seat near the corner of the hallway. On the other side of the wall, you notice that familiar face that you fell in love with. Your heart beats faster as you notice him holding the letter.

"(F/N). You couldn't sleep?"

You nod and Suga offers his seat beside him. You awkwardly move over but keep a space in between you two.

"I couldn't sleep either. I keep reading this" he murmured

Your eyes were fixated on the letter as Suga slowly opens it. He notices your reaction and stops before unfolding it.

"Would you like me to read it to you?" he asks and you take a big gulp and say,

"Please."

"Alright." he unfolds the letter, revealing Kiyoko's neat handwriting. He straightens the paper and clears his throat.

"Dear Suga, I don't know how to thank you enough for visiting me when I was sick. Even though I was in a coma, I could still hear your voice. It's been so long since the last time I saw you and now I remember how important you are to me."

You tightly clench your fists together and anxiously wait for it to read 'I'm in love with you' or something of the sort. Closing your eyes, you heart beats in a state of panic and your breathing fastens.

"I wanted to say that you were one of my closest friends when I joined the volleyball club. I recently hit my head in the bathtub but a flood of memories suddenly came to mind I had to write it down. Hence the letter. I know I can't remember everything as it comes in parts, like a story that isn't completed. But I do remember you being there for me when I would cry about Tanaka. I recall you'd never leave my side when I would have mental breakdowns and I can't thank you enough."

Suga turns to you and you open one eye out of curiosity. He reads further,

"I wish I could remember the whole thing but I did have a glimpse of Daichi and how I started dating him. I know you're his best friend and I wish things wouldn't end up this way. I wish there was a way where no one would get hurt, but that's not the case. Seems so cowardice of me, but I'm sorry I love Tanaka-kun. I know I should fess up to him myself, but I'm confused on who I am and where I left off in my life. Especially for hurting our friends, Asahi, Daichi and especially you."

A tear slipped out of your eye, stopping Suga from reading, but you move closer to him and tug on his shirt. Urging him to read more.

"I feel selfish for leaving all of you. Especially (F/N). She had to do this alone and pick up where she left off with life, without me. Without her big sister. I hurt her the most and I don't know how to tell her this either. That's why I'm writing this letter to you Suga. My mom and I noticed how much you care for her and love her. She's happy with you and my mom was at a loss for words when you were brought into her life. She's been living day by day without knowing her purpose. For a long time she was lost and broken and I can't imagine what she felt when dad died. I love her but my situation makes me forget who I am and I get frustrated with myself. I want to grasp onto things I love and I want you to do that for me when I can't. Love (F/N) for my sake too. If you started to date (F/N), I'll love you forever because you're already family to me. Before I forget anything, take care of yourself Suga. I heard about your mom and I'm lifting up my prayers for her health. Love Kiyoko."

More tears fell rapidly down your pajama's and Suga briskly wraps his arms around you and you start bawling your eyes out. He cradles you in his arms and your head rests on the crook of his neck. The familiarity of him makes you relax a bit, but your tears kept flowing down your face. Suga holds the letter in front of you as you sit on his lap.

"P.S. I hope you're still writing game plays for me. I know (F/N) would find them useful as Karasuno's manager. I'm so proud of her.

Suga puts down the letter and embraces you tighter, like he's afraid you'd fly away if he let go. He strokes your hair and tries to shush your crying. He sniffs the top of your head and kisses your forehead. He rocks you lightly back and forth and you mumble,

"I-I thought Kiyoko was in love with you. This whole week I thought I lost you."

"That's what's been on your mind? I thought we promised we'd talk about these things."

"I've always been in my sisters shadow. My whole life she was better than me in everything and that's why I worked so hard to better myself in volleyball. It was the only time dad saw me. I thought I was playing just to please him, but now I do love it Suga. You kept your promise" you clutch at his shirt and he places his hand on top of yours.

"(F/N). You're beautiful, talented, smart, funny... I wish you could see what I see." Suga whispers into your ear and you feel a tear fall from his face too. He traced his fingers up and down the scar on your arm in admiration.

"(F/N) I love you and I don't say that lightly to just anyone. I was asking advice from Kageyama when was the right time to ask you this. I wanted it to be perfect."

So that's what he's been talking about with him?

You could feel his heart beat faster in sync with yours as he finally asks,

"Please be my girlfriend (F/N)."

You finally look up at him and gaze into his hazel eyes. Suga looks down at you with love in his eyes and gently takes off your glasses. He leans forward and plants a soft kiss on your lips. Your heart felt like it was going to burst but you kiss him back and you could feel his smile on yours. Pulling back, you both press your foreheads together and you murmur,

"Suga, I'd love to be your girlfriend"

You both sit there for a while, holding each other. Soaking in this moment of just the two of you. Throughout all the chaos you've been through, you felt safe in his arms. As if nothing could break you. Nothing could hurt you because you felt complete.

---- end pt. 42 -----